Broken Series (24 page)

Eighteen

Baker

I lost my mind
.

That was my only thought when I woke up, slumped over on the couch hours later. Rainey was nowhere to be found and I didn’t go looking for her right away. I needed some time to think. Marriage wasn’t a problem. I wanted her to be my wife more than anything in this world.

The more I thought about her demands, though, the more nervous I got. I had been holding out for a new treatment or miraculous healing, but the cold, hard truth was that Rainey
would
die. Whether I wanted to deal with it or not, facts were facts. I picked up a glass of leftover juice and took a swig, not caring about the fact that it was old. I needed to appease my overly dry mouth. I swallowed the now flat liquid and took deep breaths, determined to calm my anxious heart.

I loved Rainey. Logically, I knew I didn’t need to worry about anything more than that. She was the only person in the world I would fight for, and even though the ending of this fight was predetermined, I still wanted to win. I wanted to save her, to be her knight in shining armor. If only things were that simple.

Marriage was the one option I thought for sure she would refuse. And for a minute, it looked like she would. But then she threw caution to the wind and accepted me. It was liberating. I wanted nothing more than to prove my devotion to her for the rest of my life, whether she lived or not.

Her demand that I find love again after she passed was insane. I agreed to placate her, but there was no one my heart would survive this plague. I was already half brokenhearted
now
, what was going to happen in a few months when I couldn’t look at or be with her at all?

I sucked in a breath, but didn’t feel the air rush into my lungs. All I felt was despair at the thought of never being able to see her again.

I leaned forward and hung my head between my knees, drawing gasping breaths. It took a full minute before I calmed down enough to lift my head. When I did, Rainey was standing in front of me looking sleepy and so sexy.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I assured her. I stood and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her in a hug.

“Still want to marry me?” she asked with a glint in her eyes.

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

She grinned, her teeth glinting in the light coming from the strip. “That’s good to know,” she said, turning in my arms to lean her back against my chest with my arms still around her.

I leaned down to kiss her neck, softly inhaling her sweet scent.

“So when do you want to marry me?” I asked her softly.

“Oh, I don’t know. How about next year?”

I squeezed her a little to let her know I didn’t appreciate the joke.

“I was actually thinking we should do it in Maine,” she answered.

“Are you sure? That means flying out there, you know,” I teased, knowing how much she hated to fly.

“I’m sure.”

“Next week?” I suggested.

She gulped. “I think that would be perfect.” Her voice quavered a bit but she kept her smile frozen in place.

“Don’t be afraid,” I whispered in her ear.

She turned in my arms, lifting her hands to the back of my neck. “I’ll never be afraid of you,” she promised.

I kissed her but pulled away before I could enjoy it too much.

“I’m starving,” I admitted with a smirk.

“Does this place have food?”

I barked with laughter. “
Does this place have food
– that’s like asking if the place has air!”

She stuck her tongue out at me and then moved away toward the window to watch the city below us. “Make us something, then,” she demanded.

I gave her ass a playful slap and was rewarded with her yelp of surprise. I winked at her and went into the kitchen to search for food.

When I returned to the living area a few minutes later, Rainey was sitting on the couch, very quiet and almost nervous. I set down a tray of food for us to share and her eyes widened.

“You still eat Doritos and Skittles?” She stared up at me in shock.

“Some things are too good to leave in childhood,” I replied, plucking a handful of chips from the bag and tearing open one of the small bags of fruity goodness.

I popped a chip and several pieces of candy into my mouth all at once, chewing loudly just
to annoy her. “This is me, babe. Maybe
you
should be the one rethinking this marriage thing.”

She seemed to ponder my words, and my gut clenched in anxious anticipation. Fear flooded me and I stopped breathing, afraid she would admit to not wanting to marry me after all. But then she laughed and swiped the bag of Skittles off my lap.

“You’ll be a diabetic with all this junk food,” she said, even as popped a few Skittles into her mouth.

“Look who’s talking,” I admonished, giving her a glare. “Besides, life doesn’t get much better than chips and candy with the girl I love.”

Her emerald eyes turned watery and she looked wistful. There were circles under her eyes and I realized that being up this late wasn’t good for her condition.

“Let’s go to bed,” I suggested as I stood. I held my hand out to her.

“Sounds like a plan,” she said seductively.

By the time we walked into the bedroom, though, she was half-asleep already and I had to lift her into the bed. I laid her on the mattress and she mumbled in her near-sleep state.

“I love you, Baker,” she whispered and then rolled over, snuggling under the thick covers. I stood there smiling like a fool at her for several minutes, just watching her sleep.

When I turned away, I had a big smile on my face and I
knew
, without any doubt, that loving Rainey now would be worth whatever heartache came later. I went out into the living area, picked up the tray of food, and took it to the kitchen. I noticed my phone blinking when I passed where I had set it on the coffee table, so I picked it up on my way to clean up.

There were four missed calls from Mallory and I assumed they were from Luke, but I listened to the voicemail anyway, just in case.

“Hey, man. What the hell is going on? You and Rainey just disappear and now we’re all worried about you two! Call me back,” Luke pleaded. I rolled my eyes and pressed the button to delete the message.

There were several text messages and I scrolled through them.

I typed out a quick reply to Jimmy, who asked about how to close out the bar sales for the day on the main computer.

Two messages were from Mallory’s cell and a quick glance told me they were really from Luke.
Where the hell is his phone?
I sighed and sent a quick reply telling him that everything was fine and Rainey and I would be back in Casper next week. I didn’t tell him why, though. I figured Rainey would want to tell her friends herself.

A text from Gabby asking about my whereabouts and mostly giving me hell for up and leaving town like a jerk made me feel like a small child being reprimanded by his mother. I sent her a message, too, promising to have Rainey call her tomorrow and explain everything.

Wolfe even texted me, although his message had nothing to do with my whereabouts and everything to do with alcohol.
What’s the best mixer to go with spiced rum?
I laughed softly to myself and answered him. Leave it to Wolfe to not even acknowledge my disappearance and act like I’d been there the whole time.

It was nice to hear from everyone, though, as much as I didn’t want to admit it because they were mostly annoying. They all cared about Rainey and me and this was just their way of showing it.

My phone rang in my hand before I could put it down and I sighed again. The caller id showed it was Mallory and I hoped it would be.

“Hello?”

“Baker! Where the hell are you?” Mallory’s voice rang out through the line.

I grinned. “Didn’t Luke tell you?”

“He said you were in Vegas. That’s not true, is it?”

“Of course it is,” I assured her. “We are having a great time, too.”

“Let me talk to Rainey,” she demanded.

“She’s asleep. It’s like two in the morning here, Mal,” I informed her.

“Oh. Right. Well, have her call me
as soon as she wakes up
. No excuses.”

“Yes ma’am. I’ll have her call you,” I promised.

“Good. Now tell me something,” she started.

“What’s that?”

“Are you really bringing her home?”

“The short answer is yes. I don’t know for how long, though. It might be just a short visit,” I told her, aware of every word I spoke so that I didn’t give away too much information.

Mallory breathed a sigh of relief. “Good. I need to see my best friend and give her hell.”

“No giving her hell, Mal. She’s been through enough,” I chastised her. “I mean it. Just let her do things her way.”

“But –”

“We all supported you when you went through something tragic. Now it’s your turn to return the favor.”

Silence.

“Did you hear me?”

“Yeah, I heard you,” she huffed. “I’ll keep my mouth shut. I don’t
want
to, but I will. She deserves it, I guess.”

“Good. Now I’m going to bed. I’ll have her call you tomorrow,” I promised again. We said goodbye and clicked off.

When I went back into the bedroom, Rainey was snoring softly. I jostled her a bit when I climbed in next to her.

“Everything okay?” she mumbled as I put my arms around her.

“Everything’s perfect,” I assured her with a quick kiss.

We fell asleep and for one night, I felt like everything
was
perfect in our world.

Nineteen

Rainey

It was hard to enjoy our week in Vegas, knowing as I did that there were a million things to be done before the wedding. Baker and I booked a flight that would land in Portland, Maine, on Wednesday, with the wedding scheduled for Saturday. Four days were hardly long enough to plan the event, but Gabby and Mallory took on a bunch of responsibilities for me, for which I was grateful.

I was so worked up for the wedding that the flight home barely bothered me. I was too excited.

The Portland International Jetport was relatively empty when we arrived, but everyone waited for us at baggage claim. Mallory, Luke, Gabby, Ember, and even Wolfe all gave us a round of hugs and congrats.

The boys, it seemed, were going to throw Baker a bachelor party tonight so he wouldn’t be hung over on Saturday. I appreciated the sentiment. My sister and two best friends were going to be my bridesmaids and I couldn’t be happier. The girls and I were going to head over to the bridal shop and see what was in stock. Buying off the rack didn’t even bother me, knowing that I would get to marry the man of my dreams.

I barely had time to give Baker a quick kiss before Mallory, Gabby, and Ember pulled me away, demanding all my attention. Before I was taken away, though, he managed to slip a credit card in my hand.

“Buy everything you want. Make this your perfect wedding,” he whispered in my ear. My fingers wrapped around the plastic and I smiled at him.

I had money, of course; hell, Aunt Brittney had given me several thousand dollars, cash, before we got on the plane in LA, demanding to be a part of the wedding. She even claimed that I was like a daughter to her. She would be flying to Maine on Friday.

I took Baker’s credit card with the knowledge that I probably wouldn’t need it, but it was nice to have, just in case. The girls pulled me toward the car, carrying my bags for me and chatting incessantly about the wedding.

“So, we were thinking that we could do it in the backyard of my dad’s place,” Mallory said. Even though she and Luke were living in it now, she still referred to it as her dad’s. She was adorable.

“That sounds great!” I gushed, truly excited about my big day.

We piled into Mallory’s car and continued to discuss the wedding while Mallory drove us to the bridal shop nearby.

“So what are you thinking for a dress?” Gabby asked from the backseat.

I turned to face her. “I’m hoping for something flowy and maybe a halter top…”

“Sounds good to me. I can’t wait to see you in a white dress!”

I smiled at her and Mallory weaved in and out of traffic, unusually quiet.

“What’s wrong, Mal?”

“I was just thinking about how I wished our dads could be here,” she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

“Me, too,” Ember said from the back seat.

“They’ll be watching over us,” I told them. I turned to Gabby again. “Speaking of dads… Since mine can’t be here, I was kind of thinking of asking Wolfe to walk me down the aisle.”

“What? Why not Luke? You guys are way closer,” Gabby replied.

“I know. But Luke is the best man. And believe it or not, Wolfe helped me realize how much I loved Baker. He gave me a very fatherly speech before I left for LA.”

“And then you immediately ran away to LA. Must have been some speech,” Gabby scoffed. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I know you guys have your issues, Gab, but this is important to me. I don’t have my dad to walk with me, and I don’t want to walk alone. Please don’t fight this,” I begged.

“Fine. Do what you want. But if this is some ploy to try to get us back together, Rainey, I’ll kill you,” she threatened. And then a light when off in her head, like she only just realized what she said. “Ohmygosh! I’m so sorry, Rain. I didn’t even think before I –”

“Don’t apologize! I don’t want to be treated with kid gloves. And I can honestly say that trying to get you and Wolfe back together never even crossed my mind. So you can relax. And I’ll make sure the two of you don’t sit together at the wedding.”

She seemed to calm down after that and Mallory parked the car in the mall lot nearest to the
shop. We walked into the shop and the place was filled with bridezillas yelling and demanding unheard of things from their bridesmaids.
We were taken to a changing room surrounded with mirrors and I explained what kind of dress that I wanted, and that I needed to buy off the rack. The woman helping us was helpful and listened intently to what I wanted before taking off into the abyss of white gowns.

She returned with four dresses, all likely candidates for my wedding, and I began to try them on. Mallory, Gabby, and Ember pulled up a few chairs outside the dressing room and nodded or shook their heads each time I came out to show off the next selection. When I came out in dress number four, they all were motionless.

“What do you think?” I tried to engage them, but they were speechless. The dressing room itself didn’t have any mirrors, so I turned to face the plethora of rooms covered in mirrors and joined them in stunned silence.

This was the one. It fit perfectly, clinging beautifully to my thin body. The halter top was intricately embroidered with dozens of tiny white flowers. The neckline was modest without being old fashioned and the skirt flowed simply, the small train hardly dragging at all. It was a gorgeous dress.

“You look amazing, Rain,” Mallory said finally, the first to speak.

“I don’t think you need to try on any more of them,” Gabby agreed.

Ember had tears in her eyes. “You’re beautiful.”

I looked at the sales woman standing nearby. “I’ll take it.”

* * * * *

With my dress tucked safely in the backseat of Mallory’s car, we decided to hit up the department stores for their bridesmaid dresses. I didn’t want them spending a fortune, and there were some cute ones.

We settled on a pale pink dress with a knee-length hemline. It was available in each of their sizes, so we considered that a sign. We put their dresses next to mine and then drove home to Casper, an hour-long trip filled with chats about everything to do with the wedding.

We dropped the dresses and my bags off at Mallory’s house, deciding the boys could stay at Wolfe’s farm house for the duration. Baker and I already agreed we wouldn’t sleep together again until we were married, a feat that was difficult in Vegas, but we both knew it would be worth it.

“Okay, so I called Sally’s and they said they could come up with a few arrangements for us to take a look at this afternoon,” Mallory said.

“Oh, what kinds of flowers do you want, Rainey?” Gabby asked me as we all took a seat in Mallory’s living room.

“I don’t even care, honestly. The only thing that matters is marrying Baker. Everything else is unimportant.”

“That means we get to influence her, girls,” Gabby whispered conspiratorially.

I shook my head at the three of them. They continued to discuss flowers for half an hour before they dragged me to the flower shop. We poured over arrangements and colors for three hours before everyone agreed that we had the perfect arrangement. My bouquet would be ready Saturday morning, along with the girl’s mini-bouquets.

It was after five by the time we made it back to Mallory’s house.

“I need food!” I demanded.

“We were hoping you would say that.” Mallory grinned sheepishly.

“What?”

“We planned a little bachelorette party for you,” Gabby admitted.

“You guys! You didn’t have to do that. It’s not like I can get drunk or anything.”

“That’s true. But we thought you might enjoy a stripper!” Mallory announced.

My face flushed at the thought and I was mortified. “No way! I would have to be drunk to deal with a stripper!”

Mallory and Gabby burst into giggles. “We figured as much,” Gabby finally explained. “How about a day at the spa?”

“Oh, that sounds like fun,” I agreed.

“Let’s go!” Mallory led the way to her car, which I belatedly noticed was already packed with several bags. They had loaded up the car and I didn’t even notice.

“You kind of dozed off before your demands for food,” Mallory informed me when I looked at the bags in surprise. “We took advantage. But for now, we’re heading to the hotel to check in and you get a full day of relaxation tomorrow.”

I was more that excited. I needed some pampering.

The hotel was one I’d never been to, but had often fantasized about staying at. The pillows were plush, the room huge. It wasn’t Caesar’s Palace, but it came close, in my eyes. Plus, I would get to explore the spa at this place.

“Your first appointment is tonight at seven,” Mallory filled me in once we were all checked
in and sitting around the hotel room. “You’ve got a massage scheduled.”

I squealed in delight and hugged her. “You guys are the best friends a girl could ask for.”

“Well, if you’re going to get married, you should do it right.” Gabby smiled wistfully.

“Oh, Gabs, I’m so sorry about you and Wolfe. I know this must be hard on you.”

“No, it’s okay,” she assured me. “I’m just a little nostalgic. My and Wolfe’s wedding was hardly more than a two-minute thing at the courthouse. Maybe that should have been clue number one for me,” she laughed.

“The size of the wedding doesn’t matter, you know,” Mallory said suddenly, sitting up straight in her spot on the couch. “It’s all about love. Big or small, a wedding is about dedication to one another, for as long as you live.”

I agreed with Mallory whole-heartedly, but I knew Gabby would disagree. She and Wolfe had been through some tough times over the years, and her impending divorce must be driving her crazy. Having Mallory spout off about the sanctity of marriage was probably the last thing she wanted to hear.

“Sometimes things fall apart. Dreams die,” Gabby whispered.

Mallory moved closer to her and took her hand. “Then you’ve got to find the glue to put them back together, or discover a new dream together. Dreams come and go, but love is forever.”

I wiped the tears away from my eyes at her words, knowing in my heart that her words were just applicable to my life as Gabby’s. I needed to let go of my broken dreams and just love Baker as long as I was able.

Mallory’s speech enlightened my situation and I realized I had less than an hour before my appointment. I told the girls to order room service and then I went about finding some paper and a pen, ready to write my vows to Baker.