Authors: Dawn Pendleton
2
Wolfe
Would the seemingly ending pain never cease?
Death was all around us, in so many ways. Two people I loved were gone from this earth and the one woman I pledged to love forever was glaring at me from down the hall. To her credit, I don’t think she realized she was glaring. But she was. Immensely.
I couldn’t wait to get out of here, get out of this ridiculous black suit, and start healing. Not just from the funeral, either. Since the judge gave Gabby and I mandatory counseling last year, I thought things would get better. But the woman had already checked out of this marriage. And no amount of counseling was going to change her mind. I kept hoping it would, though.
When Ember’s mom showed up, I knew she would be pissed about the wine, and I made a conscious decision to take the fall for it, desperate to show Gabby how much she meant to me. As usual, my plan backfired and got her even more pissed at me. No matter what I did, I couldn’t live up to the unrealistic standards she suddenly set for me over a year ago.
When things first started going south for us, I wondered, briefly, if she’d met someone else. But Gabby was loyal and I quickly discarded that idea. Even if she hated me, she wouldn’t cheat. Of course, it was highly possible she did hate me now, but I still wanted her.
I vowed to love her forever, and that’s all I could do. Some people say they won’t move on after a relationship, but they always do, eventually. I refused to love again. Even an involuntary love would be turned away, or so I told myself. Gabby consumed me. She was the fire that kept me striving to be a better man, wanting to give her everything on the planet in order to make her happy.
But she wasn’t happy, and that was the problem. I didn’t know how to make her happy again, and she wouldn’t tell me the problem. Instead, she moved out and just ended it, like we weren’t married at all. Then she clammed up in counseling. Even the counselor told me he was concerned about why she wouldn’t open up and talk about things. With the final court date set in a few weeks, I didn’t have much time left to win her over, but that was my goal. Every day of my life was dedicated to proving my love for her, even if it killed me.
I finally turned away from where she and Mallory stood talking and went to catch up to Luke. As far as friends went, he was my best one, and with Baker having run off, my only one at the moment.
He was standing outside the restaurant, hands tucked into his pockets. He nodded to me as I approached, but didn’t say anything.
“So what do we do about Baker?” I asked, initiating conversation.
“I’m not sure. I know he needs some space, but he also needs to be around people who care,” Luke replied, looking out over the water the restaurant was situated on.
I looked away from him, following his gaze to where an eagle soared low and managed to pluck a fish from the shallow depths. “I can’t imagine how he feels.”
“Me either, which is why I’m thinking we need to let him go, for now. Losing a wife is hardly something that should be taken lightly,” he said. He looked thoughtful for a moment and then turned to me. “I can imagine you feel similarly about Gabby.”
“Not as much as you’d think. At least she’s still alive, still breathing and happy. Or mostly happy. If this is what it takes to make her happy, I’ll do it.”
“Dumbass.”
“What now?” His smartass comment shocked me.
“Ask Baker what would have happened if he’d left Rainey alone to her own devices. Hell, ask me about Mallory. You want her,
fight for her
. It might not be easy, and she’s not going to be coaxed like a kitten, but eventually, you’ll get there. Don’t just give up because she’s being fickle. You guys need to get down to the realities of why she’s pulling away, why she doesn’t want to be married anymore. Because if you ask me, there’s more to the story than she’s letting on, and her keeping you in the dark is going to ruin both your lives. Don’t let her go.”
I sighed. Luke knew about the woes of letting the woman you loved get away. He let Mallory go when they were still teenagers and he regretted it every day for three years. But with time came healing, and that’s what I was hoping for.
“Maybe what happened with you and Mal will happen for us. Time gives perspective.”
Luke gave me a sad smile. “I wouldn’t count on it. I would give anything to get back those three years I lost with Mallory. Do you really want to just let time pass and hope she comes to her senses? Women need to feel wanted. And even though we do want them, we have to show them, or else they believe they aren’t wanted so they push us away. You want to spend the next three years without her? Because it was hell on me, and I wouldn’t recommend it.”
I remembered how dark and sullen Luke had been during those years, even though he and I didn’t hang out much. During outings and events, he was withdrawn, almost deathly, to the point Gabby confided in me once she thought he was sick, too. He wasn’t, of course, at least not with any true illness. Heartbreak will do that to you, though.
“I guess you’re right,” I admitted.
“Don’t let her go through with this, Wolfe. If there is any doubt in her mind, convince her not to do this. Don’t let yourself be unhappy, because I know she’ll be unhappy, too. Even if she is too stubborn to admit it.”
I let out a low laugh; he was right. I was more convinced than ever that Gabby didn’t want this, not completely. She just didn’t know how to tell me what she did want. So it was up to me to coax the truth out of her, force her to admit her feelings for me.
With that thought, I thanked Luke. “You’re damn smart, man. I’ve got to go do something. Hit me up when you hear from Baker. If not, we’ll go looking for him tomorrow, okay?”
“Sounds good. Talk to you later,” he said, shaking my hand.
I sprinted to my car, ready to prove a point and knowing today would be the day to do it.
* * * * *
An hour later, I had everything set up. I texted Luke and asked him to let me know when Gabby left the restaurant, and I got his text a few minutes ago. Giving the house a last onceover, I headed out, locked the front door, and left. I drove to the rental I’d been living in for the past year, grabbed myself a beer, and then plopped myself down on the couch.
I knew Gabby better than anyone, even Mallory. When she got home, I was going to get a phone call, I was sure. I was feeling pretty confident as I clicked on the TV and put on a rerun episode of Jeopardy. Three episodes later, all my confidence was gone. Panic set in as I realized she wasn’t going to call.
Instead of calling her, I jumped in my Jeep, ready to race over to the house to make sure everything was alright. Mallory intercepted me in the driveway.
She looked saddened, even more so than she had at the funeral.
“It was a nice gesture,” she said. I was confused, but when she held up her hands, I realized she was holding pieces of shredded flowers. Flowers I’d covered Gabby’s house with.
I sucked in a breath. “She did this?”
“Worse than this. These were the largest pieces still together. She also gave me this to give to you.” She moved the flowers to one hand and pulled a piece of paper out of her jeans pocket.
I took the paper from her and stepped back to unfold it. The words were simple but heart-wrenching all the same.
Don’t do this. –G
She was asking me to leave her alone, which meant my actions affected her. Even though she was denying me right now, I was positive the note and her reaction to my flowers were two steps in the right direction. I smiled as realization dawned.
“How are you smiling?” Mallory asked, her brow raised.
“She’s not gone. Not yet. Now I just have to do something even better,” I answered, more to myself than to her.
“I think you’re both nuts,” she muttered.
I laughed and picked her up, swinging her around until we were both dizzy. She laughed along, ignoring the fact that I was acting crazy, and before I knew it, we’d stopped spinning and there were tears streaming down both our faces. The release of emotion was something we both needed. When I stopped twirling us, I just wrapped her in a hug and held on, letting the stress of the past year wash away.
When I finally lifted my head, Mallory’s makeup was running down her face and I knew my eyes were red and my skin blotchy. She giggled when she looked up at me.
“You look ridiculous,” she announced.
“You don’t look so hot yourself, with raccoon eyes.”
She wiped at her cheeks but only spread the makeup farther along her high cheekbones. “Better?”
I laughed. “You look like a movie star.”
“Liar!” She swatted my arm just as Luke pulled into the driveway.
“Were you two ladies crying?” he asked when he stepped out of his truck. He brought his eyes to me and looked almost like he didn’t believe it.
“Maybe we were. We’ll never tell,” Mallory vowed, putting up the hand signal for the boy scouts.
“You aren’t a scout,” Luke accused, grabbing her hand and pulling her into his arms.
“No, but I’m engaged to one,” she said with a smile.
Their engagement had surprised no one, except Mallory herself. At Baker and Rainey’s wedding, Luke got down on one knee, asking Mallory to marry him. It was so sweet a gesture that my heart had constricted in envy; I was so jealous of their love. They originally wanted to plan a quick wedding so Rainey could attend, but Rainey refused. She knew how sick she was going to get and wanted them to wait until after she was gone. A January wedding was planned, which gave them another month to change their minds.
Which Gabby was trying to do.
I don’t think she did it purposely, but she was so against marriage, her prejudices came out in everyday conversation, especially with her close friends. Part of me understood, but there was an even larger part of me that wondered what the hell I did to make her so jaded. She was my life, the only person I could truly be myself with, and she just gave it all up. I would have given her anything.
“Earth to Wolfe!” Luke waved a hand in front of my face.
I gave him a half-hearted smile. “What’s up?”
“Stop having sexual daydreams about your wife and let’s get a beer at the bar.”
I laughed. “Are you sure? If Gabby’s going to be there, I don’t want to piss her off.”
“She’s a big girl, and she already told us she wasn’t coming,” Mallory confirmed.
I didn’t want to be the guy who seemed like he followed her around, but we ran in the same circle of friends, and that meant we were around each other a lot. I didn’t mind, of course, but I knew it irritated her whenever I showed up.
“Any word from Baker?” I asked them as we piled into Mallory’s car.
“None,” Luke explained from the front seat. He turned around to look at me. “He’ll turn up. I think he just needed some space.”
“He’s dealt with a lot here in the last few months,” Mallory added from the driver’s seat, meeting my eye in the rearview mirror.
“He’s not the only one,” Luke murmured, taking her hand.
“No, but the only way to get through tragedy is to surround yourself with friends and family and create good memories to cut through the bad ones.”
“Look at you! All inspirational and shit,” I teased her. I gave her a wink when she met my eye again and she laughed.
“I’m growing up, I guess. It’s about time, too. I can’t believe how childish I’ve been over the last few years, holding on to grudges and letting hate fill me so much that there was no room to experience joy and happiness.” She swallowed and took a deep breath before continuing. “Dad’s death was like a beacon for me to get my act together. So I’m living the way I know he would have wanted me to live, and for the first time in I don’t know how many years, I’m
actually living
. It’s a great feeling.”
I nodded my agreement and secretly wished I could feel the same. Without Gabby, though, I was nothing but an empty shell, a ghost of the man I once thought I was. I couldn’t be that guy right now if my life depended on it. Gabby made me who I was, who I wanted to be. She gave me a reason to be a better man. And for a time, I was. Until she filed for divorce.
I sighed. Living in the past was no way to live, even if those three years with her were the best years of my life. I needed to focus on right now, which meant winning her back.
“So, the flowers didn’t do anything for her, huh?” Luke asked, his eyes sympathetic.
I shook my head. “Not even close. If anything, I think it only pissed her off more.”
“Don’t let her attitude get to you. If you keep trying, she’ll come around. Eventually,” Mallory assured me.
“Doubt it,” Luke interjected. “That girl is a mystery. She’s so engulfed in her own issues, she doesn’t see what she’s doing to the people around her.”
“And by people, you mean me?” I asked.
“Yes, but not just you. She’s put walls up around herself and she blocks everyone out, even Mallory.”
That was news to me. I thought their friendship was the epitome of openness and honesty.
“She doesn’t lie to me or anything,” Mallory piped up as she maneuvered the car into a space in the parking lot. She shifted into park and turned to me. “She’s confused. I’ve been where she is – not knowing what decision is the right one and deathly afraid you’ll make the wrong one. She’s just scared. She’ll come around,” she promised.
Despite their words, I couldn’t help but feel utterly helpless and exposed by putting myself on the line for her, again, with the possibility that she would turn me down again. I sighed and got out of the car, ready to wash down the pain of rejection with a beer or two.
Or ten
.
3
Gabby
Of all the sweet, romantic, lovely things for Wolfe to do, did it have to be what must have been thousands of flowers all over my house? After the service and then the debacle at the restaurant, I wanted nothing more than to just go home and forget this day ever happened. Putting my best friend in the ground is hardly the occasion to enjoy anything, ever. But those flowers …
When I walked in, the fragrant aroma was overwhelming, like walking into a spring garden in full bloom. It was magical, with flowers of all colors spread throughout the first floor, their scents meshing together quite pleasantly. I was actually smiling for several minutes as I walked through the living and formal dining rooms. When I reached the kitchen, I saw the note laying there, with my name perfectly written across the front, and I knew who it was from. I didn’t read the note. Instead, I tossed it in the junk drawer and grabbed the scissors the paper landed next to and started cutting the flowers up.
I didn’t stop until an hour later, when Mallory showed up.
Even after I explained everything to her, I could tell she didn’t understand. She was supportive, though, and offered to bring a message to Wolfe for me. I made it short, just so he would get the point.
Before she left, Mallory invited me to the bar tonight, but I declined, knowing drowning my sorrows in alcohol would be a bad decision.
Of course, hours later, sitting at home alone, all cried out and out of wine, I felt differently. The wine made my head lighter, and suddenly, all I wanted was to be around my friends, even though I knew Wolfe was with them.
Against my better judgment, I called a cab and then got hookered up. Clad in a slinky black dress and more makeup than I wore, ever, I climbed into the backseat of the taxi and told the driver to take me to the bar. When he dropped me off, I teetered for a second in my heels. The boots were a bad idea, given my already partially-intoxicated state, but they made the outfit, so I couldn’t leave them home. The weather was brisk and there was a chance of snow later that night. I only had a shawl over my shoulders, so goosebumps ran over my exposed skin and I shivered involuntarily.
I made myself move forward, though, into the bar. I spotted them immediately, sitting in what had become
our
booth, chatting about something. Instead of walking over, I insisted on making a fool of myself first. I moved to the bar and ordered some girlie drink that was bound to taste sweet.
When a strong hand and arm snaked around me, my first thought was that I was already getting hit on, but then I noticed the fiery coloring of a flames tattoo that ran up the muscled forearm and my hopes were dashed.
“Gabby, what are you doing here?” Wolfe whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my back that had nothing to do with the cold.
I closed my eyes, letting myself believe, for just a second, that things weren’t excruciatingly complicated between us. I breathed in his masculine scent, his cologne filling my nostrils while I tried to push down the feeling of
coming home
. I couldn’t let myself feel that way again, though.
My eyes flew open to find him staring intently at me, a mere inches away from me. His eyes were intense but dilated, his breathing just as ragged as my own. His thoughts were obviously similar to mine. I turned away as Jimmy, the bartender, set my drink in front of me.
“Thanks, Jimmy,” I said seductively.
“Heard from Baker at all?” Wolfe asked when Jimmy put two beers and a pretty pink drink in front of him.
“Not a word. I hope he’s okay. It’s not like him to run off,” Jimmy muttered and then walked away before either of us could reply.
Wolfe turned to me. “Are you coming to the table?”
“Why should I?” I pouted, pissed that he assumed I was there to see them.
“Because you’re already drunk. Because you want to see your friends.” He leaned close, whispering just loud enough so I could hear him. “And because no matter what you tell yourself, you can’t stay away.”
With that, he picked up his drinks and walked back over to the booth, setting the drinks in front of our friends. He said something and then glanced back at me. They both followed his gaze and I waved at them, feeling ridiculous. When Mallory motioned me over, I stumbled a bit in their direction and then slid into the booth next to Wolfe. Since Luke and Mallory were cuddled together on one side, it was really the only place for me to sit. That’s what I told myself, at least.
Wolfe was hot. Aside from the fact that he was charming and charismatic, he had shaggy black hair that I loved to run my fingers through, and silvery eyes that cut like a knife when they blazed. Kind of like they were now as they roamed over my ample cleavage and down to the short hem of my favorite dress. When he met my eyes again, I smiled at him, letting him know how much I appreciated his assessment.
I didn’t usually like being ogled, but from Wolfe, it was like being devoured. He took his time, examining each curve and area of exposed skin like he was memorizing the image in his head, to remember for the rest of his life. He was overwhelming and my breath hitched when his eyes lingered on my lips a second longer before he licked his own. It took all my strength not to moan aloud at the movement, it was so raw, so sexual. Whether I wanted to or not, I still wanted him.
Somehow, I managed not to erupt into flames there at the table and looked at Mallory and Luke across from us. They were both smiling like idiots. I ignored them and lifted my drink, ready to get even further lost in alcohol.
Wolfe’s arm slid across the back of the booth, not touching me, but I definitely knew he was there. I struggled not to lean back into him and take comfort in his warmth, or do anything else that might give him the wrong idea. The man was sexy and he knew it, which was problematic. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a smile tug at the corner of his lips, making my stomach clench. He was just too attractive for his own good.
I kept my face forward, my eyes downcast into the swirling pink liquid in my glass. I focused on the ice cubes, letting them all mesh together in my head. When I heard a cough, I looked up, dazed.
“You okay?” Mallory asked, genuinely concerned.
“Yeah, why?”
“You’ve been sitting here for ten minutes and haven’t said a word,” she explained.
Ten minutes?
It only felt like a few seconds.
“I’m great,” I said, tugging my shawl higher up on my shoulders.
“You sure are,” Wolfe whispered to me.
Mallory and Luke held in their laughter, but I didn’t. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”
“Not where you’re concerned, no. It’s like an addiction,” he admitted. Then he leaned closer, tucking my hair behind my ear and then pressing his lips to the lobe. “And I’m not looking to go into rehab.”
Another shivered racked my body. I grinned like an idiot, the alcohol clouding my judgment. More than anything, I wanted to forget about all the issues we had and just end up in his bed. Aside from his ability to turn me on with a look or a few words, he was an amazing lover.
It was possible I was biased, of course, since Wolfe was my first and only, but there were certain things a girl knew about a man, and I knew, without a shred of doubt, that Wolfe was skilled in the art of lovemaking. He took his time, even when I tried to rush him, and that spoke volumes.
I blew out a shaky breath, biting my lip in the process. A discontented sigh escaped Wolfe’s lips. He was as turned on as I was.
I turned to face him, hiding my face behind his as I whispered to him. “Should we go back to my place?”
I leaned back and watched the immense struggle he had with my question. I was convinced my attire and sultry attitude would sway him, but instead, he turned to Mallory.
“Would you guys mind taking Gabby home? I’ll just catch a cab,” he muttered. He downed his beer, excused himself, and got out of the booth on the other side, where there was barely any room. He got away from us, though.
I watched, dumbfounded, as he left the bar, all but flying out the wooden swinging door. For a moment, I didn’t really understand. When realization dawned, I glared at Mallory.
“Don’t follow me,” I instructed and went after Wolfe, my temper rising. He had the nerve to turn me down?
I don’t think so
.
I pushed open the door he’d exited through just a few seconds before. Snow was beginning to fall, a light dusting that was sure to cover the ground just enough to turn the small town of Casper, Maine into a winter wonderland. Or so some people thought. I thoroughly enjoyed the snow, the way it smelled, and even the way it looked and felt. The fresh scent mingled with the cold air and I breathed it deep as I stepped across the outdoor patio.
Across the lot, I saw Wolfe, hands tucked into his pockets, head down, walking briskly through the flurries.
“Wolfe!” I called, holding on to the railing so I didn’t fall. Just when I thought I had my bearings, I took a step and my ass hit the step I’d been trying to descend. My head cracked against the wood planks and bright stars shined in front of my eyes for a second before my focus came back. Wolfe was over me, concern in his eyes.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“God, you’re pretty,” I murmured with a grin.
He shook his head. “You’re delirious.”
“I think I’m more clear-headed than I’ve been in a long time,” I said as he helped me sit up. His eyes met mine, pupils dilated.
“Don’t, Gabby. I’ll help you get to your house, but it can’t go any further.”
“You’re so serious! When we get home, I’m going to undress you and lick every inch of your delicious body,” I said with a giggle.
Every muscle in his body tightened, a reaction that had my own muscles clenching. Just the thought of seeing him naked had me turned on again, despite my fall.
“Do you have a concussion? You’re saying crazy things,” he muttered, his hands holding my head just under my ears. He made a show of checking each side of my face.
When I put my hands on each of his wrists, he finally looked me in the eye. “I’m fine. I know what I want.”
He pulled away and took my hands, helping me stand. “You’ve had a long week, Gab. Let’s get you home and tucked in bed.”
He really wasn’t going to be seduced. Right then, I made a plan to get him into my bed. He wasn’t leaving my house that night, no matter what I had to do to keep him there. I needed to take solace in his touch.
Wolfe helped me into a cab that seemed to appear from nowhere and then climbed in after me, our bodies close in the small space. His arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders, keeping me warm as the wind gusted into the cab just before he closed the door. He gave my address to the driver and then pulled me closer.
I let my mind drift while we drove. Even though Rainey’s death was expected, it still tore me to pieces when she went in her sleep. Over the last few months, I was convinced she would pull through, that somehow, she would beat the cancer. But all my hopes were dashed when she passed on. I knew she left each of us letters, and although I was afraid to read hers, I also knew I had to, whenever it came. She would have had her lawyer hand out the letters at the reading of her will, which was scheduled for next week.
According to the lawyer, she wanted Mallory, Luke, and I there, as well as Wolfe, which surprised me. She must have left a letter for him, too. They weren’t close, as far as I knew, but I vaguely remembered him having something to do with her finally accepting that Baker could love her. Theirs was a relationship almost more difficult than my own, since Rainey’s impending death was always stalking them, threatening to strike at any moment.
I shivered at the thought and snuggled against Wolfe, soaking up his heat. My hands slid around his waist and I rested my head on his massive chest. I felt him tense but I just tried to get closer, wanting him more now than I had in a long time. It was probably the alcohol in my bloodstream, but I couldn’t make myself care. I just wanted to feel loved again, if only for tonight. One night of sexual bliss and then we could go back to hating each other.
“I don’t hate you,” Wolfe whispered as he brushed his lips across my temple. “I could never hate you.”
Belatedly, I realized I’d spoken my thought aloud. I sighed, content for the first time in months.