Authors: Dawn Pendleton
Twenty-Two
Baker
Friday proved to be a trying day. Rainey’s mother called at seven in the morning, refusing to attend the wedding. I felt so bad for Rainey, who was calm and polite on the phone, but obviously stressed out.
“Mom, I’m not going to make you come, but it would be really nice if you did.”
“You never even told me about your leukemia. Imagine how I felt, finding out from the gossips in town about it! I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life!”
Rainey had her phone on speaker, so I could hear every word. I was amazed that her mom could be so selfish and self-centered. Rainey was the one suffering.
“I know, Mom. I should have told you. I’m sorry,” she apologized. This was a side of Rainey I’d never seen. She wasn’t the feisty woman I knew and loved; she was submissive and quiet. As much as I hated to see her this way, I knew that she had adapted her personality to her mother’s, so that she would piss her off with what she said. It was so sad. I wrapped an arm around Rainey’s shoulders for support.
When she got off the phone with her mom, Rainey was drained. I suggested she go back to sleep for an hour and then she could be more relaxed for the day. She had finally convinced her mom to come to the wedding, although I wasn’t sure it would be a good idea, considering her mom’s drug and alcohol problems. Rainey assured me it would be okay and then went back to sleep.
The rehearsal went smoothly and we even managed to convince Rainey to do it outside the restaurant instead of at Mallory’s house. I wanted her to be as surprised as possible when she walked down the aisle. We had the dinner at The Roadhouse, a nearby restaurant with a great food selection and plenty of room for the wedding party, not that it was overly large.
I woke up on Saturday with butterflies in my stomach but completely prepared to make Rainey my wife. I would never back down from my decision to marry her, but I was still a little nervous. I slept in the guest room of Mallory and Luke’s house and jumped in the shower first thing. When I stepped out of the spray and turned off the water, I heard voices from the kitchen. I put on a pair of khakis and one of my favorite tees and went out to see who was here.
Rainey’s older brother, Dallas, was sitting at the table, his hearty laughter nearly infectious. With him at the table were Mallory, Luke, Gabby, Ember and Wolfe, all laughing along with him. I’d seen enough pictures of Dallas to know what he looked like, but he was taller than I imagined, even taller than me.
He stood when he saw me walk in and his smile faded into a serious gaze. He met me in the kitchen, hand extended.
“Dallas Daniels,” he introduced himself.
“Chris Baker,” I announced. “It’s great to finally meet you.”
Dallas had grown up with his mother, so I’d hadn’t known him when we were kids. When I called him a few days ago, he seemed surprised to hear about Rainey but he took it all in stride, agreeing to come out to the wedding at the last minute.
“Likewise. Word is, Rainey adores you.” He nodded his head toward my friends at the table. “And all these people say nothing but good things about you. You’re okay in my book, Baker.”
I didn’t ask for his approval. Hell, ten minutes ago, I didn’t even care if I ever got it. But when he said the words, I released a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. I might not have asked, but I was grateful for his blessing. I loved his sister, and for the time being, it seemed that was enough.
“Thanks. I’m sure she will be ecstatic that you’re here. Speaking of which, where is Rainey?” I asked.
“She asked us to leave the house so she could have some time to relax. The ceremony isn’t until seven, so we think she’s just enjoying the quiet. Things have been a little crazy around here lately,” Mallory replied.
She wasn’t wrong. I wished I was able to kick all these people out and have a few minutes to myself. But she was more important, so I put everyone to work.
“We still have to get the lights hung up, so let’s get moving,” I demanded.
“We have to pick up the flowers in two hours, but we can help until then,” Gabby announced.
Once everyone was outside, I started handing out orders. Luke and Wolfe were on lights detail, with Dallas helping as needed. Mallory and Gabby set up the tables for dinner underneath the tent off to the side. It was supposed to rain and I didn’t want to take any chances, in case it started to sprinkle during the reception.
White lights were strung up all over the tent to create the perfect ambiance, and then I had them put lights through the arch I built. The arch was threaded with pink and white floral arrangements and each row of white chairs was graced with a pink and white potted plant. It looked amazing so far, even though the lights wouldn’t be visible until just before the ceremony.
Instead of a runner down the aisle, we had a basket of flower petals prepared by the florist to be laid down just before the ceremony. Pink and white roses supplied the petals and there were enough to almost fully cover the length of the aisle. Wolfe and Luke would take care of that just before seven.
“I think I’ll keep my presence a secret until after the ceremony,” Dallas said just before lunch. The girls were about to go pick up flowers, but the three of them stopped.
“No way!” Mallory objected.
“You have to walk her down the aisle,” Ember directed.
“I thought she asked Wolfe to do that…?” Dallas looked unsure.
“She did. But only because she didn’t want to be a burden to you. I know she would love it if you walked with her,” Wolfe said.
“Should I go with you girls, then?”
“No, I like the idea of keeping it a secret, actually. Let’s surprise her just before she’s supposed to walk down the aisle,” I chimed in, knowing how much it would mean to her to have Dallas walk her down the aisle.
With that, the girls took off in Mallory’s car and we finished up all the last-minute things for the night. In just a few hours, I would be married to Rainey Daniels.
Correction:
Rainey Baker.
Twenty-Three
Rainey
I took calming breaths to slow my rapid heart rate, but it didn’t really help.
“Where’s Wolfe?” I asked, nerves on fire.
“He’s going to meet us there,” Mallory promised. “Calm down, girl! Everything is going to be perfect.”
It was just after six and Baker had said he was going to send someone to pick us up from Wolfe’s house at six o’clock. With the confrontation with my mother yesterday, my nerves were shot. I wanted nothing more than to get drunk, but I knew it was impossible.
“Maybe he forgot. We should just go,” I suggested, ready to jump in Mallory’s car.
“We’ll do no such thing,” Gabby admonished. “Baker said he would send someone. He wouldn’t lie to you.”
Just then, a horn sounded from out front and we all rushed to the windows to see who it was. A white stretch limo awaited us. I blinked away tears, careful not to ruin my makeup. It was perfect.
The driver helped us inside and then drove us to Mallory’s house. When I would have gone around the side of the house to start the ceremony, Mallory directed me inside.
“Baker has something prepared for you,” she said as an explanation. I raised a brow. “We’ll meet you on the other side of the back door in a few minutes. Take your time. We still have half an hour before we have to start.” She smiled softly at me and winked.
She took my bouquet and walked around the house to the backyard while I walked forward to go inside. When I opened the door, I was surrounded by darkness, except for a walkway lined with strings of white lights. It was adorable. Five feet from the front door was a photograph hanging from a string. I glanced at it and my heart clenched tight. It was a group photo of my senior prom, the one Baker had taken me to. We looked happy and content. I flipped it over and there was writing on the back.
I think I knew, even then, that I loved you.
~Baker
I sighed with contentment and made my way down the hallway to what used to be Mallory’s bedroom. I’d spent so much time there as a kid. I found another photo in her room, hanging from a string, just like the first.
It was a photo from before I ever looked at Baker as more than just the best friend of Mallory’s boyfriend. The four of us were sitting on her bed, arms around each other, with Mallory and Luke on the far left, then me, and Baker to the right of me. We all looked so young, so crazed. We each stuck our tongues out at the camera. I’d seen the picture a hundred times in Mallory’s room when we were kids, but the longer I stared at it, I noticed something I never had before. Baker’s eyes weren’t closed like the rest of us. His eyes were wide open and he had them glued to me. They were the same silver pools I knew and loved, but they were dilated, too. I gulped and turned the photo over.
I only ever had eyes for you.
-Baker
I smiled and tried to blink away the tears. Good thing I’d been smart enough to wear waterproof mascara. I heard a door close from somewhere inside the house and ventured out into the hallway again, happy to play this game. It was relaxing me. The hallway had another photo hanging from a string. It hadn’t been there a few minutes ago.
I was floored by the image. It was from the night Baker proposed and the couple on the street had taken a few shots of us. Instead of a single image, though, this photo was a collage of all the photos taken that night. I stared at myself and Baker; we looked so happy, so in love. It was the best night of my life to date, and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I flipped it over.
Forever will never be long enough.
~Baker
All the other doors in the hallway were closed, so I moved back toward the living room and into the kitchen. There was a note beside a white rose with dipped pink edges.
Never doubt for a second that I love you. No man has ever been as lucky as I am to find a soul mate so abso-fucking-lutely perfect. And you are. So now, if you’re done with your trip down memory lane, could you please come outside so I can marry you?
He didn’t sign the last one, but then, he didn’t need to. I picked up the rose and inhaled its sweet scent. I heard footsteps behind me and whirled around, certain it would be Baker, anxious to marry me.
I was shocked to find my brother standing there. “Dallas?” I shrieked and ran to him, throwing my arms around his neck. Given that I hadn’t wanted to bother him with my illness or wedding, it seemed miraculous that he was there.
His presence made my wedding day complete, my heart full. This was a perfect day now.
His arms went around my waist and he lifted me up and swung me around several times before he set me down.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, even though it didn’t matter.
“Baker called me. I should reprimand you for leaving me out and assuming that I wouldn’t drop everything and come to be here on your wedding day…”
“I know. I didn’t want to bother you. You’re always so busy,” I whispered.
“We can talk about it later, baby sis. But for now, let’s get you married to Baker. He’s one hell of a guy,” he commented. He held out his arm for me and I slipped mine through his.
This wedding would be the beginning of the end, but it would be perfect. And I wanted to get it done so I could spend every moment with Baker for however long I had left.
I smiled at my brother, thankful and truly blessed to have him there, and he led me outside.
A million tiny lights lit up the space. It no longer looked like Mallory’s backyard. Instead, it was an oasis of perfection. As promised, Mallory was waiting there for us. She handed me my bouquet and winked at me again. She followed Gabby and Ember down the aisle of rose petals, a touch that I knew Baker had been in charge of, and I watched them go, pondering how I got to have such amazing friends. When they took their place on the left side of the alter, my gaze flew to Baker, the man I was about to pledge myself to forever.
He stared at me and a lump formed in my throat. The rest of the world disappeared for one splendid minute and I knew, in that instant, that I was the lucky one in our relationship. And we would probably spend our entire marriage arguing over who was
more
lucky. It was an argument I was looking forward to.
Dallas and I took a step at the same time. His was to give me away to a man who adored me, and mine was a step toward my future.
I lifted my head high, proud to be the future Mrs. Baker.
Broken Pieces
1
Gabby
The funeral was dismal at best. Forget the fact that the woman lying in the casket was my best friend, that she lived three months longer than expected, that she was only twenty-two. The only thing that mattered, it seemed, was that she was dead.
It was an open casket, which meant when I walked up to the front of the funeral home, I could say my goodbyes to her face. My hands shook, so I gripped them together to hide my nerves. I stood at the back of the room, afraid to walk forward, afraid to see her again. She wasn’t supposed to die; I always thought, in the back of my mind, that the doctors were wrong, that there would be some kind of miracle cure for her. I was wrong.
Rainey had been given until September to live. So in June, she married Baker, and they had a wonderful summer together. When September rolled around, we were all hopeful that she was improving, and Rainey even agreed to more treatments, thinking that the cancer was receding. She got better and better until Thanksgiving. The two weeks following the holiday were heart-wrenching. She went from doing well to being barely able to walk in a matter of a few days. She stopped eating, and when she couldn’t take it any longer, she let herself go.
I wanted to be angry at Rainey for not fighting harder, but I knew better than anyone how many years she’d been fighting, and without any support, at that. She lived out as much of her life as she could.
Mallory, my other, and now only, best friend, stood beside me, just as scared as me. She clung to her fiancé, Luke, for support. He’d popped the question at Rainey and Baker’s wedding, something that had been a highlight of an already awesome day. I looked at their entwined fingers longingly. I remembered exactly how it felt to be comforted by the man I loved. Too bad we would be officially divorced in two weeks.
I pushed the divorce out of my mind. I needed to focus and make my way to the front of the room. I needed to get a grip and accept Rainey’s death. But most of all, I needed a drink.
With a final deep breath and a mind-over-matter mentality, I put one foot in front of the other and kept on until I was looking at the beautiful face of my best friend. This was just a friends and family viewing, so the place wasn’t crowded. Luke was trying to convince Mallory to come up the casket behind me, and Wolfe was seated in the front row of chairs, head in his hands.
I didn’t want him here. I didn’t want him to feel anything for my friend, but I knew he did. I knew he and Rainey had become friends, just as he had with everyone in my group. He was heartbroken by her death, just like the rest of us.
It doesn’t matter,
I told myself when I felt as sorry for him as I did for myself. He was going to disappear as soon as the divorce was finalized.
Is he?
A voice in my head doubted my assumptions. Even though Wolfe’s intentions had been clear almost a year ago when we went before a judge to initiate our divorce, he wasn’t the same guy he’d been last year. At the hearing, he was angry, bitter. And part of me understood. I was the one pushing for this divorce. I was the one ruining his life, or so he liked to claim.
I knew he loved me, and a very small part of me still loved him, too. But we were so different, so set in our own ways. This break was the best thing for us, and although I didn’t want to be twenty-two and divorced, I was well on the path.
* * * * *
After the service, I was a mess. Mallory and I huddled together in a corner of the restaurant where people gathered to celebrate Rainey’s life. Baker made sure to tell everyone it
was
a celebration; we all got more time with her than we imagined we would, so we should celebrate that.
Mal and I were having a hard time celebrating, though. Our best friend was gone, and we’d never get to see her again. When Mallory started to hyperventilate, I pushed her head between her knees to help her. She calmed after a few seconds.
As she sat up, she looked at me. “What are we going to do?” There were huge crocodile tears streaming down her face.
I gulped. “I don’t know.” It was an honest answer. For the last few months, the three of us had become almost codependent. It probably wasn’t a good thing, either. It was still difficult, though, when one of our little group was ripped from us.
“Hey. Rainey’s sister is here,” Luke explained as he approached. I looked up at him and followed the direction of his gaze.
Ember was a beautiful girl. She was smart and strong, and far more mature than people gave her credit for. She was standing in a plain black dress over by the entryway of the restaurant, talking to Baker. There were tears in her eyes, but she managed not to let them fall as she hugged her brother-in-law.
To his credit, Baker seemed to be holding up well. I hadn’t seen him shed a tear yet, but I knew how macho guys can be, believing they needed to hold their emotions in, or some crap like that. He held on to Ember for a few extra seconds before letting her go, giving her a peck on the cheek. He disappeared through the door behind her and Ember made eye contact with me. I motioned her over.
“Hey,” I greeted her as she approached. I stood up and wrapped my arms around her, whispering words of how much we all loved and supported her.
She broke in my arms. The sobs started, and then she was sinking. Luke helped me set her on one of the chairs in our corner and I sat down beside her, comforting her. Mallory rubbed circles along the small of her back. With her face buried in her hands, I looked up at Luke.
“Can you go get Baker?” I whispered.
“Sure, I’ll be right back,” he promised, taking off at nearly a sprint.
“Can I get you anything?”
I glanced up at Wolfe, wishing he wasn’t here, but almost grateful he was. I sighed. “Yeah. Get her a glass of wine,” I demanded.
“Gabby, she’s underage,” Wolfe started.
“I know how old she is,” I snapped. “Either get it or don’t, but either way, get away from me.” My voice was far nastier than I intended, but my emotions were running high and I knew how to soothe Ember. She needed to find at least a little relief from the heartache we were all sharing.
With Ember between us, Mallory and I shared a look. Mine showed my irritation, but hers was compassionate, understanding. I didn’t deserve such an amazing friend. When she smiled at me, I returned it, just as Luke reappeared.
“Can I talk to you?” Since he was looking at me, I stood up. He made me take a few steps away from Ember. “Baker’s gone.”
“What? Where did he go? I just saw him.”
“No one knows. He hasn’t been seen since he was talking to Ember.” He cast a wary glance at the seventeen-year-old holding her head in her hands.
“What do we do?” I asked.
“I called her mom. She said she’ll be here in a few minutes. We can deal with Baker later. For now, let’s just focus on Ember. She’s the one I’m worried about,” Luke replied. He sat next to Ember and put an arm around her. She looked so small and petite, so young, sitting there between two of my best friends.
Wolfe walked up with a glass of wine and handed it to me instead of Ember. I glared at him, giving the glass to Luke, who put it in Ember’s shaking hands. She sipped it slowly, though I was certain it wasn’t the first time she’d had any.
I never expected Wolfe to become a part of this group of people, my own friends, although I suppose I should have. He’s so lovable, so in tune with people, that they can’t help but love him. That’s what made me fall for him in the first place. Years ago, when I was too young, too naïve to know better. Which was why this divorce was the only thing keeping me from losing my sanity every time he showed up with a helpful hand.
I hadn’t cried for Rainey, not yet. I’m not uncaring, I simply didn’t want anyone to see my vulnerabilities or know exactly how effected I’d been by her passing. She was one of my best friends, and in the past year, I’ve lost too many people in my life.
The split from Wolfe was clearly the best decision, but then Joe took a turn for the worst, which brought Mallory back from Boston and Rainey back from Los Angeles, but ended with Joe’s death. I never thought Mallory would bounce back, but she managed to come back to us and was actually doing well.
Rainey, on the other hand, had gradually gotten worse, her Leukemia overtaking her body and eventually killing her. I knew she was in a better place, or at least, that’s what I’d like to believe, and she made Baker happy during their short time together. She was sweet and loving, stubborn as hell, but still someone I felt didn’t deserve what life dealt her.
In reality, none of us deserved any of this. Joe’s death followed so quickly by Rainey’s demise… It was all too much. But my own fragility didn’t matter. I had to be strong for the people around me.
Had to
. I didn’t have another choice. I could tell Mallory was holding back from showing too much emotion, but she was close to losing it. If her incessant hiccups weren’t enough of an indication, the subtle shake of her hands as she patted Ember was. She wanted to comfort the young girl, but she knew exactly what Ember was going through, and knowing Mal, she was probably reliving the day Joe died.
The year sucked, as a whole. Too many bad things kept happening to our little group, and it wasn’t fair. We were all supposed to grow old together, and that wasn’t happening now. Baker’s sudden disappearance didn’t help matters. He’d always been the wild one, the guy to crack a joke and make light of any situation, if only to ease someone else’s pain. I was surprised to hear he was gone, but really, it shouldn’t have surprised me. He was the one who kept Rainey alive, in my opinion.
Baker’s dedication and blatant show of love to my friend were what kept her fighting as long as she did. And she spent her last few month on this earth happily married, which was more than I could say about my own life.
Sure, Wolfe and I were happy in the beginning, pledging our love to one another without a thought as to where our futures might lead us, but now … Complicated didn’t even begin to describe it.
“Gabby,” Mallory said to me, pulling me away from my distracting thoughts. I looked at her, realizing that she was standing next to me. I glanced over to Ember and saw her mother had arrived and was trying to get the girl to stand up.
“Lucas, would you help Ember to the car?” Ember’s mom, whose name I couldn’t remember, asked of Luke. He looked sheepish for a second, since no one calls him by his full name anymore.
“Of course,” he agreed.
Once they were out of earshot, Mrs.… Ember’s mom, turned a furious glare to me. “Who gave my seventeen-year-old daughter alcohol?”
I sucked in a breath, ready to own up to the fact that it was me. Before I got the chance, Wolfe stepped in.
“Ms. Damon, it was me. I thought it would help her relax and help ease the pain,” he lied.
“Right, because when a
child
is heartbroken, you feed her wine. Stay the hell away from her,” she seethed. “And if I ever find out you’re giving her booze again, I’ll kill you.”
I didn’t doubt her threat, given her current state. She was dressed all in black, her eyes dark and tear-stained from heavy crying, it looked like. She was hardly in better shape than her daughter, and I felt ever-so guilty for being the one to give Ember wine. And even guiltier for letting Wolfe take the blame.
I stood there, barely able to see over his shoulder, as Ms. Damon walked away in a huff, chasing after her daughter and Luke.
“What the hell was that?” I whispered harshly to Wolfe, jabbing him in the arm with my finger.
He turned around slowly. “You’ve got enough to deal with. You don’t need an angry parent to ride your ass.”
I shook my head at him. “You don’t get to make decisions for me anymore. Next time, let me handle myself.”
It was a bitch thing to say, but I was beyond caring. I was divorcing the man in a couple weeks, and I would finally be free of this marriage. I whirled around to find Mallory, who disappeared almost faster than Ms. Damon.
“Hey,” she called out to me down the hall, huddled behind a pillar.
“I hate him,” I spat as soon as I reached her.
“Will you stop saying that? He just did something nice for you. Will you at least
act
like you appreciate it?”
“Hell no. He was trying the whole knight-in-shining armor thing, and it’s bullshit,” I whispered to her. “He’s got everyone wrapped around his finger and I see him for what he really is.”
Mallory shook her head sadly. “I don’t think you do. Take it from someone who’s been there … Take a look at him sometime when he’s not paying attention. The sadness in his eyes can’t be faked. He’s heartbroken over losing you, Gab. It’s as plain as day.”
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. At that exact moment, I looked down the hall and my eyes clashed with Wolfe’s silver-fire eyes. There was more than sadness there … The depth of emotion left me speechless in a way I’d never know before, his pain so great I had to turn away. I swallowed the lump in my throat and told myself it didn’t matter.
I wasn’t going to be the one who got hurt from this divorce, and if that meant I had to be a super-bitch, I didn’t care. No man was going to hurt me ever again.