Burning Attraction (16 page)

             
I nod my head in agreement but don't say a word. I kiss his finger as he pulls it away. When Avery stands, he leans over and places another kiss on my forehead but doesn't say anything to me. He grabs my plate and his, then walks out the door. I don't stop him, I don't say a word, I just stare at the open door way. Why do I keep doing this? Why am I such a pathetic person? I'm a coward. I need to make a final decision once and for all.

             
When I wake from the nap I didn't even mean to take, I make my way downstairs. I walk into my parents den and they're in conversation with their guests, who all seem to be here besides Avery and Stella. My stomach drops as I realize that they're probably together somewhere, alone. I talk for a few moments with everyone, reassuring my parents I feel better after my nap upstairs. Then I go off in search for "food", but really I want to run into Avery. And hoping he isn't with Stella.

             
I walk into the kitchen, deciding I really am a little hungry, and make a small plate of desserts I didn't get to eat tonight. Half way through a slice of pumpkin pie I hear laughing coming from outside. I walk over to the sliding glass doors to see Avery pushing Stella on my old swing set. I feel nauseous at the sight of them, both laughing and talking about God knows what. I throw my plate in the trash, all of a sudden too full. I walk back to the den, tell my parents and everyone goodbye, saying I feel sick again, so I want to head home. No one argues, they all say bye to me, then I walk out the doors.

             
When I slam my car door, I just start crying. I don't know what my issue is, but I simply cannot stop. I slam my fists into the steering wheel several times before I'm jumped by the passenger door swinging open. Avery slides into the passenger seat and grabs ahold of me, hugging me close to him. "Shhh, Cassie, stop crying." I do my best to stop as I bury my face into his neck. A few minutes go by without a word, but then Avery speaks again, "can you please look at me?"

             
I slowly pull away from him and look at his sympathetic face, suddenly embarrassed by my behavior. He just witnessed me punching the steering wheel and balling my eyes out, with no explanation as to why I just went crazy. "What are you doing here Avery?"

             
His eyebrows raise. "You just ran out of the house and into your car, and you're punching the shit out of that thing. You're crying. What do you think I'm doing here?"

             
"I didn't think you knew where I was, you know, you're a little too fuckin' busy with Stella," I raise my voice at him. I really don't have a reason to be angry with him, he has done nothing wrong. In fact, I'm angry with myself, because I'm doing everything wrong, I'm just taking it out on the wrong person.

             
Avery shakes his head, running his hand through his hair. "Seriously Cassie? You're pissed I talked to the only other person here that’s my age, while you were upstairs sleeping? I came back up to see you, you were passed the fuck out. I came down here and went outside with Stella after I ate some dessert. When I walked back in the house to get a drink, I saw you storming towards the foyer and followed after. I don't know why you're so fucking upset with me!" His voice is raised and I can see the anger laced in his expression.

             
A sob leaves me, "I'm sorry!"

             
I hear him sigh as he pulls me back into him. His voice calm again, "don't be sorry Angel. You're confused, I get it. I'm here no matter what. But just so you know, since I've entered back into this state, you're the only girl I've been with. I only kissed that girl at the party to make you jealous. I'm waiting for you, I want only you. And I'll continue to wait."

             
Now my guilt is sky rocketing. Not only have I been with him, but Carson too, and even his arch nemesis, Pierce. If Avery ever found out about that, he would probably hate me. Hell, I hate me. He just gives me a release I need, and a good one at that. But there are no real feelings there. It's Carson and Avery that I have feelings for.

             
"I don't know how to answer that," I say honestly.

             
He chuckles softly, "I don't expect you to say anything. Are you going to be okay driving home, or do you need me to drive you? I can have my parents swing by when they leave here to come get me."

             
I look back up to him with puppy dog eyes. "I'd like that a lot."

             
"Okay, let me go tell them, I'll be right back. Why don't you slide into the passenger seat?"

             
When we get back to my apartment, I change into pajamas and Avery pulls his shirt off but remains in his jeans. We cuddle up together in my bed, television on, but we're not paying attention to it. We just sit and talk about random things, and it feels nice. We feel like real friends, like things aren't confusing for a moment, like this is how it should always feel when we are together.

             
I can feel my eyes getting tired. "I'm sorry Avery, I'm really tired. I don't know why."

             
He pushes hair away from my face, looking me in the eyes. "It's been an emotional day, it's okay. I'll sing you to sleep. My parents should be here within the next twenty minutes anyways."

             
"Sing to me?" I ask him. I didn't even know he sang.

             
He chuckles, "yes. Close your eyes Angel."

             
I close my eyes and snuggle into Avery's chest. His voice is so soothing it causes me to break out in goosebumps. I can't contain the smile on my face as I hear him repeat the words of Justin Moore. "
People say I'm just a rough boy, I ain't no good for you girl. It's a dead end street, tryin' to love me, yeah, I'll wreck your world. I can see why they're all talkin', lookin' back at my past. I've got a bad name, but a man can change, I'm livin' proof of that. Til my last day, til my last breath, of everyone that can, I can love you the best. Til my last day, I'll be lovin' you. All the way up, til they lay me down, six feet under the cold hard ground, til my last day, I'll be lovin' you."

Chapter 12: Secrets Out

             
I must have fallen asleep at some point during his singing because I wake up alone in my cold bed. I'm sad at first but then I realize it is probably best, because this morning could have been a little awkward. As I remember his singing me to sleep last night, I smile wide. How can I not love that man? That was the most romantic night of my life, in a pathetically sad way.

             
When I get back from using the restroom, I notice my cell phone is blinking. I pick it up to see a missed message from Pierce.

             
D.L.S.:
busy today?

             
My stomach does a flip. I enjoy having sex with him so much, but I think it's best to stop things now before it gets any more complicated. It's fun having a dirty little secret, but it's not smart. It's playing with fire, and I'm about to get burned big time. And if I don't, someone else will, and I really don't want that either.

             
Me:
yeah sry...

             
D.L.S.:
k.. 2morrow?

             
Me:
um. i think maybe its smart we stop this b4 we get too involved. dont get me wrong, ive had tons of fun, but i'm scared one of us is gonna get in 2 deep :-/

             
D.L.S.:
hahahaha oh wow cass. whatever. bye

             
I can't tell if he is mad or amused or both. What do I say to that? I don't reply but it eats at me. Now I feel like an ultra bitch. It shouldn't have started it in the first place, but how could I not? It seemed like the perfect solution at the time, and he is amazing at sex. All three guys are in their own way. I don't think I could ever give a lineup of who is better, because each are uniquely the best. I feel like such a whore right now. It's a good thing I ended it with Pierce, even if I did it by text message.

             
I leave the bedroom again, this time to go get coffee, and Aubrey is walking out of her bedroom. "Morning sunshine," I say to her.

             
She wrinkles her nose at me. "Yeah, I need coffee."

             
Aubrey follows me into the kitchen, sitting on the bar stool while I brew the coffee. "So, tell me, how did it go meeting Mason's parents?" I ask when I hand her a cup.

             
"Oh, they loved me. How could they not?" She giggles. "No, it went really well. I love his family, they're perfect. Just like him. He told me he loved me for the first time last night too."

             
"Aww, that is so awesome Aubrey. Do you love him?"

             
She smiles so large at me. "Of course I do! It seems early but it seems right."

             
"I'm so happy for you!"

             
We talk a little bit more about Mason and her, then I tell her about my night with Avery. She doesn't understand why I wouldn't just date him. Carson hasn't made any attempt, but I also asked him not to. I haven't explained anything about Pierce to her, or anyone, I mean, he is my secret after all. I think it’s what makes it so fun, that no one knows about it and we have to sneak around. Well, had to. Now it's over.

             
The rest of the day Aubrey and I have a much needed girl’s day. We do some shopping since it's Black Friday, but most of the deals are already picked over, so we don't get anything too special. Then we go to the salon for manis and pedis, and I decide while we are there it's time for a change. The lady cuts off several inches of my hair, adds black underneath and caramel colored highlights on top. Then she cuts a ton of layers into my hair and my side bangs blend into it all perfectly. When she is done, I stare at myself in disbelief. I look like a whole different person, many years older too. I could probably pass as twenty one if I wanted to go out to the bars.

             
After the salon, Aubrey and I go out to lunch at our favorite cafe, which then leads us into some more of our favorite stores. By the time we are done with our fun, we head home, just in time for supper to start. The two of us order Chinese takeout, and when it gets here, we sit with a glass of wine in the living room, catching up on the DVR. It has been one of the most spectacular days I've had in months. A well needed one too.

             
Aubrey's phone rings while we're watching a movie. "Hello? ... Hi, babe ... Yeah? ... Oh, awesome! ... Yeah, that is perfect, I'll see you then ... Love you too."

             
I look at Aubrey. "What’s lover boy got to say?"

             
She smiles bright, almost too bright, her eyes gleam in mischief. "Um," she presses her lips together for a moment, "there is a fight tonight. He is coming to pick me up so I can go. You should come too," she squeals with excitement.

             
"Who’s fighting?" I ask skeptically.

             
"I think he said that Scott guy or Vortex or whatever with Avery. Sooo?"

             
I think about it for a minute, then figure since it's not with Pierce it can't hurt. I'm not with Carson anymore, and I'd love to cheer on Avery. "Yeah, sounds good! Let's get dressed in some of our new clothes."

             
By the time Mason arrives both of us are ready to go. Aubrey is dressed in skin tight leather pants, a form fitting red tank top and heels that have silver spikes on the back. I've never seen her look so bad ass and sexy. I wear a tight purple mini skirt, a form fitting black halter top and plain black heels. It suits me and goes well with my new haircut, giving me a simple yet sexy look. Mason looks at us both when Aubrey answers the door, shaking his head. "He is going to fuckin' kill me, letting the two y’all come to his fight looking like that."

             
Aubrey smacks his arm playfully and I just laugh. "Oh stop it, let’s go, I'm excited!"

             
The basement to the warehouse is pretty full tonight. Mason pulls us behind him so he can meet up with Avery before the fight. When Avery spots us his eyes enlarge to three times their normal size. "What are you wearing?" he asks me.

             
I smile, showing all my teeth. "Clothes. You like?" I look down at my outfit before glancing back at Avery. He actually looks pissed.

             
"No I fuckin' hate it. You're going to get me murdered out there! Everyone's eyes are going to be on you and I'm not going to be able to concentrate." He is rubbing his hand through his hair in frustration. "Fuck. Get a sweatshirt on. No, it's not that, it’s the legs. No shit, it’s the heels. Holy fuck Cassie, you're giving me a heart attack."

             
I'm at a loss for words. I never expected him to be pissed at me for dressing like this. I wanted to look sexy, for him, no one else. It never crossed my mind he wouldn't be able to concentrate on his fight. I don't feel bad though, that is his issue and his alone. He shouldn't have me in his mind while he is fighting. But then again, I don't know how it is to be out there, blasting someone in the face over and over, so I can't really judge.