By Force of Instinct (36 page)

she nibbled lightly on his lip. “ ‘Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine,’ ”2 she said, matching his earlier quote.

He responded with a kiss that stole her breath away with its intensity, sending shivers of warmth through her.
How can he do this to me so easily?
she asked herself yet again as his hands began to make themselves free in the curves of her body. she sighed as he caressed her breast, teasingly stroking her nipple. she could feel his arousal against her, and felt a weakness inside as she recal ed how he had touched her and fil ed her that afternoon in London.

He did not release her lips until he was satisfied by the feeling of her body in his arms that he had aroused her. “you need only ask when you desire my kisses, Lizzy,” he said.

Her eyes sparkling with mischief, she replied, “Well, if this is how Bible verses affect you, my dear, I will have to reconsider the wisdom of our attending church together.”

“once we are married, you will be fortunate if you are given the opportunity to leave my side for a minute!” he retorted. He wished fervently that Bingley were not in the house, or that the servants were ones who owed loyalty to him instead of to the gossips of Meryton, or that they would all miraculously vanish and allow him to make love to her without heedlessly risking her reputation. It had been so long since London … but he reminded himself that he must not forget that she had been in tears only a few minutes earlier, and that it was his comfort, not his desire she needed. He forced himself to relax, to concentrate on her, and to remember the happiness her love brought him. Distracting himself with the conversation interrupted earlier, he said, “As far as my sister, I am frankly tempted to simply tell her that if she is so unhappy with my guardianship, she should remain in the custody of my aunt and uncle—but that I might come to regret.”

It took some effort for elizabeth to still her racing heart and to bring her thoughts back to the subject at hand after the desire he had provoked in her. “Perhaps you could instead ask her whether she thinks she might be happier with your aunt and uncle. Let
her
make the choice of with whom she wishes to live—otherwise you will only be giving her further grounds 2 song of solomon, 1:2

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for resentment. she is almost a woman; perhaps it is time to give her the responsibility that comes with that status.”

Darcy was silent. Finally he said, “you are right—love and respect cannot be commanded, only given.
You
have taught me that—it was a lesson that was hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. If she would be happier living with them, then I should allow it, though I would hope for a better answer.” He paused and then added, “But I shall write again, instead of travelling to her—if she is to decide against me, I would want to hear it with you by my side.”

she was swept with a wave of tenderness for him, for his honesty and openness, for his weaknesses as well as his strengths. “you are the best man I have ever known,” she said softly.

A knock came at the door before he had time to reply, accompanied by Bingley’s voice calling his name in a determined manner. “I think that we are out of time, my heart,” said Darcy regretfully.

With a rueful smile, she twisted her hair into a simple knot and attempted to stand before Bingley could see them in such a compromising position, but he tightened his arms around her, preventing her escape. “I am not ashamed to let Bingley see what you are to me,” he said intently.

she could see his desire for her to commit herself to him publicly once more. she said playfully, “Perhaps you are not, but I would not want to embarrass
him
!”

“Very well,” said Darcy, clearly less than pleased, but he released her.

With an impish smile, she moved off his lap only to sit beside him, nestled much closer to him than could ever be considered proper. “come in, Mr. Bingley,” she called.

Darcy did not spare his friend a glance when he entered. “you, my love, are
very
wicked,” he said, and kissed her lightly. His look, when he drew back, was self-satisfied.

“Darcy,” said Bingley plaintively, “take pity on me, for God’s sake! I am
completely
out of excuses to give Jane for why I have left you alone together;
must
you try to make matters worse?”

elizabeth stood. “Pay no attention to him, Mr. Bingley,” she said engagingly. “He enjoys causing trouble.” she heard Darcy’s chuckle.

“so I can see,” grumbled Bingley good-naturedly.

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Abigail Reynolds

Jane had been reassured to see elizabeth returned to her usual spirits and, though obviously concerned about propriety, allowed herself to be convinced to stay at netherfield until after luncheon. The two couples enjoyed a pleasant, if somewhat subdued, time together; but, as it drew towards time for the ladies to depart, Darcy asked to speak with elizabeth privately once more. In deference to Jane’s feelings, they sat together in the parlour with the door open, doing nothing more compromising than holding hands. This was just as well, Darcy reflected, given that his natural response to the closeness they had shared was a strong urge to match that emotional intimacy with physical intimacy.

The two did not so much converse as allow their eyes and hands to speak for them. The day had been full of intense emotions, and each was finding their comfort in the other’s presence and the new sense of trust between them. The unpleasant prospect of parting was in both of their minds, and it was to this that elizabeth finally spoke, wistfully expressing her wish that she could remain with him longer.

Darcy was by no means displeased to hear this, and on impulse he said,

“stay here, then. you could send a note back to Longbourn and say you are taken ill and will stay here tonight. We could ask your mother or Mary to come—it would be quite proper.”

The notion was so very tempting that elizabeth actual y gave it brief consideration—not only to be away from her father and the confrontation that must inevitably come, but to be with Darcy, to feel the comfort of his presence and, no doubt, to share his bed, no matter how many chaperones were in the house.

she wanted it so very badly, yet she knew the situation at Longbourn must be faced and that delay would only raise suspicions and make it worse. There was a part of her that almost hoped she would not be able to resolve matters with her father, giving her the excuse to go off with Darcy as he had suggested, but she found she was not yet prepared to give up on him entirely.

“I wish I could, my love,” she said slowly, “but I must allow my father the opportunity to explain himself; I do not wish to burn my bridges.”

He was disappointed and would have liked to try to persuade her, but he could hear in her voice that it would make her unhappy. With an effort, he said, “Then
I
shall take you back when you are ready; it is past time for me to have some words with your father as well. We cannot continue this foolishness of avoiding one another.”

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elizabeth sighed. she could not deny him his rights there, although she felt a grave concern for what seemed likely to be an unpleasant confrontation without a happy resolution. “As you wish,” she said softly.

“My wish is that I knew how to convince you to smile again,” he said impulsively.

Her face softened. “My very dear,” she said. “I do love you so.” Looking at him, she saw in his eyes a desire which quickened her pulses, and, heedless of who might see them, she raised her lips to his. He met them in a kiss of deep tenderness which did not disguise the depth of his need for her after their emotion-laden day.

It ended too quickly, the demands of propriety once again forbidding further contact, and it was far too little for Darcy, who was still caught in the power of their new, shared vulnerability. “elizabeth,” he said, as if the words were coming from him almost unwillingly, “if I could discover a likely place, would you be able to come to me one night?”

Her breath caught in her throat. she saw more than just desire in his eyes—she could see how very difficult it was for him to be parted from her and to acknowledge that for the moment her family had a greater claim on her than he had. she could tell as well that he would accept it if she refused, but in truth the idea of being with him again, of sharing the intimacy as well as the pleasure, was a temptation she did not wish to resist.

“When you have found a place, Fitzwilliam,” she said, “I will come to you.”

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Chapter 12

Darcy remained firm in his intention to speak to elizabeth’s father before leaving her in his company. Although he shared her concern about the outcome of such a discussion, he felt it could no longer be avoided. on their return to Longbourn, therefore, he made his way directly to the library.

“come in!” Mr. Bennet called.

Darcy entered and shut the door firmly behind him. He had no doubt that this discussion would become heated; he was in no mood to be trifled with, and he intended that Mr. Bennet should know it. He would no longer permit her father to use elizabeth as a battlefield between them. He walked over to Mr. Bennet’s desk and leaned forward, splaying his fingertips on the top of it.

Mr. Bennet deliberately removed his glasses and set down his book. “yes, Mr. Darcy?” he said smoothly.

“I would like to hear one reason,” said Darcy with great deliberation,

“why I should allow elizabeth to return to this house tonight.”

Mr. Bennet raised an eyebrow. “I fail to see how it is your place to
allow
her to do anything; you are not yet her husband; and, though it may not please you, until such a time as you are, she is under
my
authority.”

“Which you have ceded today,” retorted Darcy immediately. “If you are not prepared to act the part of her father, I assure you, I am perfectly prepared to act the part of her husband. If you are not willing or able to pro-222

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tect her,
I
am not willing to leave her in your custody. I ask you again for even one reason I should not take elizabeth to London today and marry her immediately.”

His eyes narrowed, Mr. Bennet said, “If you are referring to the behaviour of
your
aunt, I fail to see how
I
can be held accountable for that. And if it so happens that, for my own reasons, my opinion coincides with her own, I see no reason why I should try to dissuade her from making her case.”

“your opinion coincides with her own?” Darcy repeated incredulously.

“In what way?”

In no temper after elizabeth’s disappearance to humour Darcy, Mr.

Bennet said, “In that I think it would be in Lizzy’s best interest to break her engagement to you.”

Darcy could not believe what he was hearing. “you may
think
what you like, sir, but it will never happen. And I fail to see why any father would find it preferable to see his daughter ruined by the scandal such as that would cause rather than be in an honourable marriage.”

“Because, Mr. Darcy,
you
will make her life a misery!”

Darcy’s temper was now well and truly lost. “on what basis do you make that allegation?” he snapped.

“Lizzy has never liked you, and she has never violated the proprieties.

surely you do not think that I would believe that she would suddenly tolerate your … attentions had she a choice in the matter? And you ask me to believe that she could be
happy
with a man who has forced himself upon her? I had no choice but to consent to this marriage, but you will
never
have my blessing!” Mr. Bennet’s fury, which had been building ever since he had received Mr. Gardiner’s letter, was now in full force.

Darcy stared at him in incomprehension for a moment, then as he finally took the older man’s meaning, his incredulity was such that he could not help but laugh. “And
this
is what you believe? Mr. Bennet, I would
pity
the poor man who tried to impose himself on your daughter if she were unwilling! However much you may dislike it, the truth is that your daughter is willing, and she is marrying me for no other reason than that it is what
she
wishes.”

of all the reactions Mr. Bennet had thought his accusation might engender, this was the most unexpected. It was impossible he was wrong. He could see no way to any other conclusion: Lizzy, caught in a compromising 223

Abigail Reynolds

situation with a disagreeable man whom she was known to dislike intensely, yet to somehow make Mr. Gardiner unhappy about the brilliant match she was making … no, he could make no other sense of it. elizabeth had told him herself that she wanted the match—but how could her opinion have changed so quickly, and for this proud, demanding man who was to take her so far from her home and family?

Mr. Bennet’s silence did not improve Darcy’s estimation of the situation, and his anger that such a thing should even be thought of him was rapidly escalating. “That you would even consider such a possibility only demonstrates a profound lack of understanding of both your daughter and myself.

I can only suggest that you
talk
to your daughter rather than jump to such an extraordinary conclusion!” recognizing that any continued discussion at this point was likely to lead to his becoming even more intemperate in his words, he favoured Mr. Bennet with a last hard glare, turned on his heel and strode out.

He retrieved elizabeth from the sitting room crowded with her sisters and her mother with such a look on his face as to cause her not to question him, but only to follow. He did not say a word until they were well outside the house.

Finally he stopped and raked his hand through his hair. He let out a long breath, then looked at elizabeth. “your father,” he said distinctly, “is an idiot.”

Although concerned as to what had passed between the two men, elizabeth smiled sympathetically at Darcy, recognizing somehow that his outburst of temper was not quite as serious as it seemed. she took his hand in hers, causing a distinct softening of his gaze.