By Force of Instinct (33 page)

elizabeth was no less affected; she clung to him as if he were her only hope, 199

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as the pleasure of his kisses washed through her, leaving her longing for more.

The sensations were all still new enough to her as to seem quite uncontain-able, and her desire for the intimacy of his touch was close to overwhelming.

As his first onslaught of need was sated by her urgent kisses, Darcy began to move his lips across her face, tasting the softness of her skin. He left featherlight kisses along her neck, travelling down to the hollows of her shoulder where he knew her to be particularly sensitive. As she gasped with pleasure, she leaned back to allow him to continue to delight her, a position of which he took full advantage, bringing his hand to the fore to take possession of her breast.

The feeling of his hand around her breast soothed a deep need in her, and shivers of delight began to course through her as he toyed with her nipple.

It had been so long since she had felt the pleasure he gave her so generously, and it only left her longing for more of him. reeling with sensation, she slid her hands inside his coat, feeling the warmth of his body through the fabric of his shirt, circling them around him instinctively to pull his hips into closer contact with her.

Unwillingly Darcy recognized the danger of the rapid conflagration of their ardour, and knew that she did not. He forced himself to slow his demands, releasing her breast to caress the curves of her back. “Ah, elizabeth,”

he murmured against her skin. “I lived without you for eight and twenty years—how is it that I can no longer do without touching you for so short a period as a week? And how I am to wait three more until we are wed?”

“I cannot say,” she confessed, feeling the same dilemma. While they were apart, she had dreamt only of being with him, but now that she was in his arms, she wanted so much more. she moved herself against him gently, appreciating the sensation of his body against hers.

The feelings she was inducing in him were bringing him to the edge of his self-control. “elizabeth, heaven knows I want you,” he said, the strain in his voice apparent. “But there is no place we can go to take this further, and if we continue it will be … difficult to stop.”

With a rush of embarrassment, elizabeth realized how completely she had been relying on him to know all the answers in this regard. she instantly disentangled herself from him, unable to bring herself to look at him. Attempting to cover her discomfort, she said, “of course; then we shall stop now.”

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Darcy could see that he had hurt her. cursing himself for his clumsiness, he touched her cheek and turned her face towards him. “you have done nothing wrong, nothing at al , my heart—except perhaps to cause me to love you quite beyond reason.” He paused, desperately searching for an acceptable way to explain himself to her on a subject so far beyond the reach of proper conversation, but final y admitted defeat and elected to take the risk of honesty. “There are ways, you see, that I
could
take my pleasure in you here; but I fear, given your … inexperience in these matters, it would likely be both uncomfortable and somewhat unpleasant for you, and
that
is a price I am quite unwil ing to pay. But you do tempt me so very greatly, my dearest, loveliest elizabeth,” he said tenderly. “If you can find your way to forgiving me for my tactlessness and lack of self-restraint, I would dearly love to kiss you again, just more … sedately this time, in deference to my own susceptibility.”

Her relief as she entered his embrace once more was palpable, though her mind was not yet quite at rest. she buried her face in his collar, wishing she could simply set aside those feelings of shame she had been taught so well, and be able to trust fully in his respect and regard for her which had never yet failed. she felt foolish for her overreaction, then felt a sudden amusement with herself for once again sliding into the trap of self-blame, not a minute after she had just chastised herself for doing so.

Darcy was relieved to feel her body relax once more in his arms, and was all too glad just to be able to hold her close to him. “My dearest, you cannot know how much I have missed you,” he murmured in her ear, seeking the comfort of her reassurance.

elizabeth responded as he had hoped. “If it was no more than I missed you, it was still far too much!” she said in a heartfelt manner.

He leaned his face into the softness of her hair, breathing in the sweet scent of it. Almost unaware of what he was saying, he answered, “I have never before felt such a reliance on anyone; I am relieved that we need not be separated again, for the pain of your absence is more than I can tell you.

With you beside me, there is nothing I cannot face; without you …” his voice trailed away.

she looked up at him to see a distant pain in his countenance, and impulsively she put her hands to his face, drawing him towards her until he looked directly at her. “I am here, my love,” she said tenderly, and offered the pleasurable assurance of meeting his lips with hers once more.

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Chapter 11

the pattern of the days in Hertfordshire for elizabeth and Darcy settled rapidly. Mr. Bennet, despite repeated pleas from his daughter, did not change his attitude of unremitting hostility to his future son-in-law, and furthermore made an effort to be present at all of his visits rather than retiring to the library as was his norm during Bingley’s calls. After a few days, the unpleasant atmosphere that resulted became too much for elizabeth, and she requested Darcy to limit his visits to Longbourn to those times when they could walk out or take a drive together. While loath to allow Mr. Bennet to separate him from elizabeth, with great reluctance Darcy agreed to this limitation and prevailed on Bingley to make frequent invitations to the Bennet ladies to netherfield.

to all intents and purposes, it meant that he was left to himself for a large part of each day, which displeased him heartily and left him more than ever counting the days until their wedding. As if in compensation, he continued to shower elizabeth with gifts—one day some fine Brussels lace, another a piece of precious jade from china—to the extent that she began to tease him about his excessive generosity. He would not be moved, however, and continued his practice of arriving with a new present nearly every day.

one morning, about a week after Darcy had arrived, Bingley and the females of the family were sitting together in the dining room while Darcy remained at netherfield until such a time as he could call to take elizabeth 202

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out. The attention of the Longbourn party was suddenly drawn to the window by the sound of a carriage, and they perceived a chaise and four driving up the lawn. It was too early in the morning for visitors; and, besides, the equipage did not answer to that of any of their neighbours. The horses were post, and neither the carriage nor the livery of the servant who preceded it were familiar to them. As it was certain, however, that some-body was coming, Bingley instantly prevailed on Miss Bennet to avoid the confinement of such an intrusion and walk away with him into the shrubbery. They both set off, and the conjectures of the remaining three continued, though with little satisfaction, till the door was thrown open and their visitor entered. It was Lady catherine de Bourgh.

They were of course all intending to be surprised, but their astonishment was beyond their expectation. Mrs. Bennet and Kitty were amazed, though she was perfectly unknown to them, but elizabeth felt it even more strongly.

she entered the room with an air more than usually ungracious, made no other reply to elizabeth’s salutation than a slight inclination of the head, and sat down without saying a word. elizabeth had mentioned her name to her mother on her ladyship’s entrance, though no request of introduction had been made. Mrs. Bennet, all amazement, though flattered by having a guest of such high importance, received her with the utmost politeness.

After sitting for a moment in silence, Lady catherine said very stiffly to elizabeth, “I hope you are well, Miss Bennet. That lady, I suppose, is your mother.”

elizabeth replied very concisely that she was. After the letter Lady catherine had sent her the previous week, she was under no illusions that this was a friendly call to welcome her to the family.

“And that I suppose is one of your sisters.”

“yes, madam,” said Mrs. Bennet, delighted to speak to a Lady catherine.

“she is my youngest girl but one. My youngest of all is lately married, and my eldest is somewhere about the grounds, walking with a young man who, I believe, will soon become a part of the family.”

“you have a very small park here,” returned Lady catherine after a short silence.

“It is nothing in comparison of rosings, my lady, I dare say; but I assure you it is much larger than sir William Lucas’s.”

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“This must be a most inconvenient sitting room for the evening in summer; the windows are full west.”

Mrs. Bennet assured her that they never sat there after dinner, and then added, “May I take the liberty of asking your ladyship whether you left Mr.

and Mrs. collins well.”

“yes, very well. I saw them the night before last.”

Mrs. Bennet, with great civility, begged her ladyship to take some refreshment, but Lady catherine, very resolutely and not very politely, declined eating anything and then, rising up, said to elizabeth, “Miss Bennet, there seemed to be a prettyish kind of a little wilderness on one side of your lawn. I should be glad to take a turn in it if you will favour me with your company.”

“Go, my dear,” cried her mother, “and show her ladyship about the different walks. I think she will be pleased with the hermitage.”

elizabeth had no intention of allowing Lady catherine to be alone with her, in hopes that an audience might stem the worst of her ladyship’s disagreeable insolence. There was, however, no polite way to refuse the request, so elizabeth sought the least uncivil response. “I am very sorry to disappoint you, Lady catherine, but I fear a walk would be too much for me today; I must ask your indulgence to remain within doors.”

Mrs. Bennet turned to stare at her daughter in shock and disapproval.

“Lizzy, what are you saying? of course, she will be happy to show you the walks, your Ladyship,” she said hurriedly.

“I fear that I should not be able to do justice to them today,” elizabeth said with an effort at composure as she saw Lady catherine’s ire rising. “I would be very happy to keep your Ladyship company here.”

“Insolent girl!” exclaimed Lady catherine. “Is this your gratitude for my attentions to you last spring?”

How could I ever think her like her nephew?
thought elizabeth, as she looked in her face. she wished desperately for Jane’s presence. “on the contrary, I am most grateful for your attentions, both then and now,” she said coolly.

“Lizzy!” exclaimed Mrs. Bennet in deep agitation. “What has come over you? I simply cannot understand, your Ladyship, why she is behaving this way!”

Lady catherine simply ignored her. “you can be at no loss, Miss Bennet, 204

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to understand the reason of my journey hither. your own heart, your own conscience, must tell you why I come.”

Mrs. Bennet, flustered by this unknown situation, whispered loudly to Mary, “Fetch your father immediately!” Mary, with a look bespeaking moral superiority to her ill-mannered elder sister, obeyed instantly and left.

“Miss Bennet,” replied her ladyship, in an angry tone, “you ought to know, that I am not to be trifled with. But however insincere you may choose to be, you shall not find me so. My character has ever been celebrated for its sincerity and frankness; and, in a cause of such moment as this, I shall certainly not depart from it. I was most alarmed and disturbed when I received the scandalous news that you had found the presumption to enter into an engagement with my nephew!”

“I regret that you are displeased with the news, your ladyship. The engagement is official; I cannot imagine what you would hope coming to see me would accomplish.”

“to insist that you show good sense and attention to the well-being of my nephew by breaking off this farce of an engagement immediately!”

colouring with astonishment and disdain, elizabeth responded coolly,

“I am sorry to disappoint your ladyship, but I will certainly
not
indulge you in such a course!”

“obstinate, headstrong girl! Is nothing due to me? you are to understand, Miss Bennet, that I came here with the determined resolution of carrying my purpose, nor will I be dissuaded from it. I have not been used to submit to any person’s whims. I have not been in the habit of brooking disappointment.”

“
That
will make your ladyship’s situation at present more pitiable; bit it will have no effect on
me
,” stated elizabeth, her anger overcoming any desire to attempt to conciliate her for Mr. Darcy’s sake.

Her father at that moment appeared in the doorway with a look that suggested he was anticipating unparalleled entertainment. elizabeth, grateful for his presence, took the liberty of introducing him to Lady catherine, though no request of introduction had been made.

“Mr. Bennet,” said Lady catherine with her most condescending air,

“am I to understand that you have given your blessing to this ill-advised engagement?”

Mr. Bennet’s eyes lit with amusement. “I have given my consent, if that 205

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is what you mean, although Lizzy is not of an age to require such a formality any longer. As for my blessing, that is quite a different matter,” he said.

elizabeth looked at him in shock. clearly he must not have understood that Lady catherine had been insulting her and attempting to force her to break the engagement.

“Let me be rightly understood. This match, to which you have the presumption to aspire, can never take place. Mr. Darcy is to marry
my daughter
. now what have you to say?”