By Force of Instinct (29 page)

He could feel the shift in her, as the tension of newness left her body and was replaced by the writhing of a woman in the grips of passion. satisfied that she was his to do with as he willed, he lifted his head, and rapidly stripped off his shirt. Lying down beside her, he captured her eyes with his own, and commanded softly, “Keep looking at me, elizabeth, just like that.”

As she complied, she felt his hand slide down to the edge of her chemise, now bunched around her waist. A thrill of desire ran through her as he moved his hand ever lower, now sliding it beneath the fine fabric to reach toward her most private parts. every inch he went seemed only to stoke the fires of her need, and she closed her eyes to appreciate the wash of sensation flooding through her.

“no, my heart,
look
at me,” he repeated, his voice dark with passion. “I want to see your eyes.” As she opened her eyes, taking in his intimate look, he let his hand cover the last distance to reach the heart of her desire. Her natural embarrassment at the deep intimacy of his touch was quickly sub-merged as his finger began to move rhythmically against her, leaving her at the mercy of intense sensations such as she had never dreamed of.

He continued to hold her eyes with his, and she could see a small satisfied smile growing on his face at what he saw in hers. “oh, yes, my beloved, just like that,” he said, clearly aroused by her response, as she gasped at the building intensity within her. Without ceasing those actions which were bringing her such pleasure, he kissed her with a tender intimacy, then brought his mouth once more to her breast.

she would not have credited that the power of the fires of desire running through her could increase, but it seemed every time she thought he could 175

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arouse her no further, she was proven wrong. As his mouth and his hand continued to pleasure her, she lost all sense of time, moaning and arching against him. This was so far beyond anything she had imagined that she could do nothing but allow herself to be carried away by sensation as the need deep within her welled up to an almost intolerable pitch. Just as she reached that point, Darcy made a subtle shift in his touch, and suddenly she was completely overtaken and lost within wave after wave of pleasure and deepest satisfaction. she cried his name as shudders ran through her body. As she finally returned to herself, his fingers drawing the last spasms of pleasure from her, she looked to him in astonishment. For a moment it was as if her ability to move or to speak failed her, and a rush of embarrassment at her abandoned behaviour ran through her, only to be soothed by the look of deep pleasure and satisfaction on Darcy’s face. With a moment of discomfiture, she asked, “Was that … intended to happen?”

Darcy’s dark gaze lit with gratification. He had been uncertain whether he would succeed this first time in bringing her pleasure or whether that would only come with time. Feeling quite pleased with himself, he said,

“oh, yes, my dearest, that is exactly what I wanted to happen, and there is much more yet to come.”

He drew away from her for a moment to dispose of his trousers. elizabeth could not quite bring herself to look in his direction; although it was far too late for maidenly fears, a lifetime of training could not be erased so quickly. But feeling already bereft of his presence, she reached out for him, and he returned to her arms as if to his true home. He kissed her deeply, knowing that his deepest desires were about to be fulfilled.

He moved his hands caressingly down her, removing the crumpled chemise which still surrounded her, and admiring the newly exposed beauty before him. It was beauty that he had to have, and he could wait no longer to take possession of it. He lowered himself onto her, her legs instinctively parting to make room for him. He could feel her heat against his arousal, urgently calling out to him.

Almost roughly he caught her face between his hands, bringing her to look at him, wanting to see her as he took possession of her. “My heart, are you ready?” he asked, his voice hoarse with desire.

she pressed herself against him in response, astonished by the overpow-ering sensation of his skin touching hers in the most private of places. “I 176

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love you,” she said, finally able to give him the gift in words that she had long since given him in her heart.

His eyes flared at her unexpected admission, and he could no longer hold back. He thrust himself into her depths, taking all the satisfaction of the moment, but halted to kiss her gently at her soft cry of pain. “I know, my heart—it hurts, this first time, but it will not last,” he said, glorying in the knowledge that she was his at last.

Her pain was gradually replaced by a delightful sense of arousal and fulfilment. “It is … well,” she whispered, holding herself close to him as he began to move rhythmically within her, producing a pleasure quite unexpected after the initial pain. she had never experienced an intimacy such as this, and she wrapped her legs around him, instinctively trying to allow him even deeper within her. each thrust seemed to bring new waves of exquisite sensation to her. The small sounds of pleasure she made as he moved within her only drove his desire yet further. His excitement spiralled rapidly to his final moment as his need for her sent him past the edge, and with a final deep thrust he filled her with his seed.

It was some moments before elizabeth was able to return to herself once more.
So this is what occurs in the marriage bed,
she thought, feeling some amusement at how far this experience seemed from her mother’s vague warnings of general unpleasantness. she felt a remarkable contentment in Darcy’s arms, their bodies still joined. It was beyond her comprehension how it could feel so natural to be with him thus, without concern for her own modesty or shock at his state. she gently caressed his face as he lay spent in her embrace until his breathing slowed and he turned to kiss her, then shifted himself so as to hold her close by his side, her head upon his shoulder.

Darcy felt a deep happiness within which it seemed no sorrow could ever touch. He had never fully understood elizabeth’s change of heart towards him after Hunsford, and because of that, had been equally unable to fully trust in it, no matter how certain he had been in his mind about the inviolability of their engagement. But this was all in the past now; he might have no further understanding of
why
she would care for him, but her words of love in combination with her gift of herself spoke a truth to him that no legal commitment ever could. The joy of feeling secure in her affections was a new one to him; it occurred to him that despite his various 177

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friends and family, he had never before felt the sense of acceptance that he did at that moment.

The only shadow clouding his bliss was a concern for elizabeth. Although he wished that he could believe she had found the same delight in their lovemaking as he had, he knew from her responses that parts had come as a surprise to her, and that the entire event must have provoked a certain anxiety in her. He felt a sudden and powerful urge to protect her, although he had to acknowledge that there had never been any sign that she was in need of his protection. still, only her reassurance would stem his apprehension. “My heart, are you well?” he asked, stroking her hair gently.

she smiled at him impishly. “Quite well—I hope you have no reason to think otherwise!”

reassured to see her sense of humour intact, he kissed her lightly. “I am glad. I have heard that for some women the first time can be … difficult; I would not have wished it to be so for you.”

“Perhaps it is the company I keep,” she teased; then, with a moment of shyness, she asked, “And you?”

He tightened his arms around her briefly. “My heart, if you have no regrets, I have never been happier.”

“none at all,” she replied with a serious note, “although I am almost afraid to ask what you thought of me—were you shocked that I came to you?”

His hand stroked the curve of her spine almost absently. “shocked? I must confess that I was, but not in the least dismayed. This was a most delightful surprise, although I cannot claim to understand what might have changed your opinion so much from two days ago when it seemed that my advances troubled you!”

elizabeth laughed. “And then I appeared, making even greater demands upon you!”

He kissed her slowly and deeply. “Demands which I was only too happy to meet, my heart, and I shall happily meet them again as often as you like.”

“you are too kind, sir,” she replied with mock seriousness which turned to laughter as he nibbled her neck in a pretence of punishment for her impudence.

Her playfulness enchanted him, but so did immersing himself in the joy 178

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of her affection. “My heart, it occurs to me that you took advantage of my distraction to tell me something of great import a few minutes ago that I should like to hear again now that I can give it my full attention,” he said with a roguish air, covering a certain trepidation native to him regarding the ability of those whom he loved to express a similar regard for him.

she was puzzled for a moment until she traced his reference, then she raised herself on one arm and boldly showered him with light kisses, both on his lips and across his face. “I love you,” she whispered between kisses.

“I love you passionately, and I adore you, and I never wish to leave your side.

There, does that quite cover the subject, sir?”

Delighted, he pretended to consider the matter briefly. “I suppose it is adequate for the moment, but it bears frequent repetition.”

That he could feel at all anxious on the subject of her regard after what they had shared was touching to elizabeth. “Then I shall say it, my love, until you quite tire of the subject,” she responded, nestling contentedly against him.

He held her to him, one arm holding her close, the other hand seeming to find its natural home cupping her breast. she glanced up at him in surprise at this new intimacy, and with a look that expressed his deep pleasure in having the right to touch her so, he began gently to caress her.

she was surprised to feel the first stirrings of excitement at his touch—
Is
satisfaction then so brief?
she wondered. Her question found its own answer quickly as his fingers continued to stroke the tender skin of her breast, and she made the discovery that now, knowing how much more he could give her, her longing for more was greater than it had been when she had been ignorant of it. she lay still, allowing his touch to produce enjoyable tendrils of desire in her. Glancing up at him again, she saw the corners of his lips turn up, and realized with amusement that he was taking distinct pleasure in wakening her desire once more.

Darcy was indeed enjoying evoking a response from elizabeth; however, he also had other matters on his mind, and was not averse to combining the two. “I have often wondered, my heart,” he said, trailing his thumb once slowly across her nipple, “what it was that changed your mind about me, between Hunsford and when I saw you once more at Longbourn.”

His touch sent a quick thrill of pleasure through her, leaving her wishing for more, but he had instead returned to caressing her skin lightly. “Let me 179

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see,” she said, her voice teasing, “I believe it was when I discovered how delightful I found your kisses.”

“A very pretty answer, but somehow I suspect it not to be the entire truth,”

he said with an amused smile. “As I recall, you ran away from me when I tried to kiss you.”

she laughed. “That was only because I found it altogether too delightful for my comfort!” she said. “Very well, then—it came on gradually, as I grew better acquainted with you. I realized that I had never taken the trouble to know you, and that once I began to look, I liked what I saw.”

He rolled her nipple gently between his fingers, and she closed her eyes to enjoy the sensation. “And what did you see, my heart?” he asked, his attentions once again ceasing.

elizabeth was beginning to find his behaviour quite distracting. “I saw a gentleman of deeper understanding and sensibility than I had known, and I began to appreciate your mind … ah!” Her response was cut short by the return of his tantalizing touch, which seemed to become more effective with each interruption, and she could see by the self-satisfied expression on his face that he was perfectly aware of what he was doing to her.

“And that caused your change of heart? I must say that I could not tell the difference at the time,” he said, easing her gently off his shoulder so that she rested on her back. He propped himself up beside her, where he occupied himself with gently stroking her body with the back of his hand. It was an exercise which appeared to require great concentration on his part.

“I do not doubt it,” she responded tartly. “I seem to recall that the last time I saw you in Kent you were paying so much attention to Miss temple you hardly noted my existence!”

“Hardly noted you!” he exclaimed indignantly. “you were having such a lovely time with colonel Fitzwilliam that I spent the entire evening con-cocting schemes to murder him and carry you off!”

elizabeth could not help laughing at this view of that painful evening.

to think he had been doing just the same as she, pretending interest in another while thinking only of her! But his voice also carried a message for which reassurance was a more appropriate response than laughter, so she said, “I was making a great effort to appear as if your attentions to Miss temple troubled me not at all! I believe that I would have been unable to recall a word your cousin said to me an hour later.”

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“Good,” said Darcy succinctly, but with feeling. “I should hate to have to call him out at our wedding if you happened to smile in his direction.”

“Pray do not,” said elizabeth lightly. “It would quite distract me from the ceremony, to which I am already likely to be paying little enough attention because my thoughts will all be filled with you.”