Captured Miracle (17 page)

The stream of water falling from the showerhead was warm on my over-sensitized skin. My breaths were coming in short shallow gasps and I could hear my heart beating in my ears.

Through wide eyes, I watched Calix step into the shower after me before closing the door. There was enough space in the shower for two people and yet I felt trapped. I felt as though the walls were closing in on me. Maybe I should have kept the lights on after all. Maybe then the room wouldn’t feel so frightening.

My head was spinning and I leaned back against the tile wall to steady myself. Blinking slowly, I watched Calix wet himself in the water. I was standing close enough to feel the spray of water, but I didn’t trust my body to move away safely to the opposite end of the shower. When Calix turned to face me, his hair was wet and dripping down his face. His blue eyes were vivid in the amber light of the fire. He was breathtaking. His massive form was aweing - the man was an Adonis.

And the Adonis was my captor.

Chapter 15

Calix moved from the water to stand in front of me. Planting both hands on either side of me, he bowed his head. Still leaning back against the wall, I crooked my neck to look into his face. His expression set my insides to fire. His lips were parted and his cobalt eyes were hooded. He wore the expression of desire.

“I’m going to kiss you now, Nova.”

I didn’t nod. But I didn’t tilt my face away from him either. I didn’t want to. I liked when Calix kissed me. There was no denying that. How could I when I lost myself every time he pressed his lips against mine?

He moved in close and I felt his penis slide up against my stomach, reminding me of how dangerously close we were to crossing every line I had ever drawn for myself. Not that I had a choice in the lines that were crossed anymore. I didn’t. The choice was all Calix. That was painfully clear and shamefully liberating.

His fingertips traced my jaw and I stared up at him hunched over me. He was so big. Standing against the wall with his body towering over me, I felt completely surrounded by him. It was as though this large man fought the world and won for dominance. Nothing else mattered but him. The outside world no longer existed. My mind blanked of everything, but Calix, my captor.

Tipping his head, he pressed his lips to mine. They were warm and wet from the water. He moved his lips gently against mine, and my mind fogged, stimulated with sensation. He really was a fantastic kisser. The moment his lips touched mine, the world and all its problems vanished. He kissed me now as he always did, with infectious hunger and passion. He traced my lips, licking and sucking until I granted him access inside. And then he tongued my mouth in such an erotic way, I wondered if he was trying to imitate lovemaking.

He kissed me so long, I felt robbed of breath. Spiraling out of control, I felt my knees weaken. And then I felt Calix press his knee between my thighs, inching his knee up until I felt him against my moist, hot core. At the feel of him there - a rush of searing liquid rushed through me to pool in my core. He was holding me there against the wall, devouring my mouth. And I didn’t want him to stop. Not even a little part of me encouraged my mind to fight him.

No, instead, I submitted to him completely - as though it were the most natural thing in the world for me to do.

The thought didn’t linger long in my mind. Rather, a new thought bloomed. And this one was much more interesting. I thought of Calix’s hands moving lower. And lower. And lower.

I thought so vividly of him touching me, I could almost feel it. His hands would whisper across my breasts, my stomach, the intimate place no man had ever gone before. But I knew Calix would. No matter the hesitations of my mind, my body knew, instinctively, that I would be Calix’s. In every way. He had taken me - and he would continue to take me until I had nothing left to give. When I was broken and empty - nothing left but a shell - would Calix walk away? When there was no more to take, would he release me? Was that the point of this game he played with such ease?

And it was that thought - the thought of him leaving me, walking away from me, that made my throat feel tight and closed from air. Devastation tore through my system. Gasping against his lips, I realized my entire body had begun shaking in his arms. I was quivering like a leaf on a breezy day barely hanging onto the branch. The blood flowing through my veins had been chilled like the icy Alaskan rivers.

Calix didn’t pull away from me as I expected, but instead, he pulled me even closer. Fingers delving into the wet strands of my hair, he pressed my face into his chest. With my cheek against his breast, I could feel his heartbeat. I could hear the bang of it in his chest - loud and imposing. Like the man himself.

He pulled me from the wall to cradle me against his hard body as though sensing my sudden panic. I could feel his arousal between us, but I paid it no mind. His leg was still positioned intimately between mine, but his arms had wound around my back. I felt his fingertips flutter across my back, gently tracing circles into my skin. With every passing moment, I felt the racing of my heart subside.

As though sensing my renewed comfort, Calix asked. “What happened?”

“I don’t know.” I murmured against his chest. I didn’t want him to pull away from me. Not yet. I knew it was wrong, that I seek security from the very man who had ripped me from everything I had ever known, but I was. And I didn’t want to fight it any longer.

“Yes, you do.” Calix replied factually, his fingers still tracing circles. “Let me in, love.”

“What do you want with me, Calix?” I whispered shakily, burying my face deeper into his chest. “Why did you take me?”

“I want you to marry me. And I took you as part of a bigger plan.” He’d said this to me before, but I still didn’t understand. There was no doubt in my mind that there was a deeper meaning behind those riddled words, but what? What could possibly be bigger than abduction?

I sighed, “When you marry me, will you ever leave me?”

“Why are you asking this, Nova?”

I shrugged and he pulled away from me. I felt the loss of him in the bottom of my heart. And that’s when I realized how very talented my captor was in pushing his way into places he was never wanted in the first place. He’d pushed his way into my life. He’d pushed his way into my mind. And now he’d pushed his way into my heart. When would he be sated? Would I ever be enough? When there was no part of me he had not claimed for himself, would I still be the focal point of his desire?

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t think of a lie to tell and the truth would give too much. I couldn’t let this man know he’d successfully pushed his way past the chains around my heart - in just under four days.

I was humiliated at my weakness for him. I was angry at myself for caving so quickly, so easily. Maybe he’d known my weakness the very first time he saw me. Maybe it was that weakness that encouraged him to take me in the first place.

I didn’t know. Because he wouldn’t tell me.

“Nova,” Calix bowed his head to look deep and hard into my eyes. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“You can take my body and you can force my submission, but you can never take my thoughts. If you ever know what I’m thinking - what I’m feeling - it will be a gift that I will
give
to you.” I refused to blink as I stared up at him with water spraying over his broad shoulders. “If you ever know my thoughts, Calix, it will be because I want you to know. Not a moment sooner or for any other reason.”

His lips tightened as he processed my words. With his arms still hanging loosely around me, I felt caged by him. In every way he surrounded me. And I knew, that before the end of my days came, he would possess me.

“Such a statement is a dangerous one, love.” His tone was low. Challenging.

I held my ground. “Then it’s a good thing I don’t understand your cryptic threat.”

“It’s not a threat.”

“Then what is it?” I asked.

Calix moved his hand to settle on my hip. I felt the points of his thumb and fingers hold me tight. “You say I’ll never know your thoughts or feelings unless you want me to know, and I take that as a challenge.” He explained. “In no way, do you hold the power here, Nova.”

Confusion clouded my vision and I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

“Then I’ll make it clear.” He tipped his head and again I felt caged by him. “If you withhold something from me, I’ll be forced to
make
you
want
to tell me.”

My heart jumped. “What? How?”

He grinned. “I can think of a few ways, Nova.”

“Tell me.”

“You have a vivid imagination, love. I think I’ll let you come up a few answers on your own. But just know, I know you, Nova. I know your fears and I know your dreams.”

“You would hurt me?”

For a moment, he didn’t speak. And then he did. “Yes. I would hurt you, love.” I tried to pull away from his touch, but he held me firmly. “And then I would give you pleasure.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“And you don’t have to know. Not yet, anyway.” He loosened his grip on my hips, but not enough for me to move out from under his hands. “Now tell me, what was with the questions?”

“I honestly don’t know.” I whispered, feeling afraid and ashamed. Calix was cruel. Deep down, he was a bad person. And yet I continuously allowed myself to hope for something more - something that wasn’t there. It was depressing.

“Nova,” he warned. “Why do you want to know if I’ll ever leave you?” He cocked his head. “Are you afraid that I might? Do you want me to remain with you?”

I gasped. The man had to read minds! “No.”

“You’re lying.” He smiled. “You don’t want me to leave you. Why?”

Blinking back my shamed tears, I replied. “I don’t want you to break me and then leave me. I wouldn’t know how to fix myself.”

He frowned. “You think I’m going to break you?”

Lifting my eyes to his, I spoke. “You already are.”

I expected a reaction. A tense breath - a hiss - a twitch. But I got nothing. Calix simply stared down at me - as though I were nothing more than a fascination. It angered me and hurt me. That I would go from being a woman who respected herself and her dreams to this. I barely even knew who I was anymore. I didn’t know what I wanted. I was confused. My mind was at constant war with my body and now my heart was sitting on the fence - unsure which side to fight for.

I was losing myself already. And it had only been four days. What would happen when two weeks had passed - when I was set to marry this monster? Where would I be then? Would I even recognize myself if I looked into a mirror?

“Turn around.” Calix spoke gruffly, quietly.

My heart raced. “What are you going to do?”

He tensed. “I’m going to wash you, Nova. Turn around.”

Slowly, I complied. My knees were shaking and my stomach was aching. I didn’t know if it was the wreck of my nerves or because I was flipping from desire to disdain every few minutes. But I did know that Calix was wreaking havoc on my system.

Behind me, I heard Calix move. I knew when he poured the soap into his hands because the shower exploded in a warm honey aroma that eased some of the tension from my body.

“Move your hair over to one shoulder.” He grunted the command and I obliged quickly.

When I felt his hands on my back, I sighed. The feel of him working soapy fingers into the tense muscles was so good. He moved his hands over every inch of my backside. From the skin at the base of my hairline to my heels. He massaged every inch as he covered me in soap.

I tried to clear my mind. I tried to relax. But I couldn’t. All I could think was that Calix hadn’t answered me. He hadn’t said anything in response to my thinking he was breaking me. And he hadn’t denied that he planned to one day leave me.

This should make me happy. The possibility that he might one day release me - but it didn’t. Instead, it settled a depressing fog over my heart. It’s dark shadows were quickly festering - spreading into my bloodstream.

Calix’s voice shattered my depressing thoughts. “Face me.”

I did.

His eyes drank me in hungrily and a quick peek down told me that his arousal had never diminished. I didn’t understand that. How he could talk about something that made him obviously angry and still be aroused. It made no sense to me. My own desire was so quickly affected by my feelings, that trying to understand his, was like trying to wrap my arms around a hot air balloon. Impossible. It was simply too big.

“I could look at you all day and never grow bored.” He said huskily.

“Is that why you’re marrying me?” I asked spitefully.

He pursed his lips, lathering his hands with new soap. “I’m marrying you because I want you. I want to own you. Every part of you.”

I looked to the floor and Calix lowered his hands onto my shoulders. He massaged, working the soap into my skin just as he had over my back. Only, this felt more sexual. He took his time covering my breasts, kneading and stroking until I felt that same deceiving rush of hot liquid surge between my legs. As though knowing what he was doing to me, Calix’s lips curved into a cocky half-grin. Trying to keep myself from moaning as he rolled my budded nipples between his expert fingers, I chewed down on my lower lip.

I could feel Calix’s eyes on me, watching my reaction to his touch. I felt betrayed by my own body. He touched me and I caved. He stroked me and I bowed. He commanded and I obeyed. Somehow, we’d established a ranking between us this way - and without accepting it myself - my body saw him as my superior. I submitted to him in every way, when inside I was screaming to fight.

His hands stilled over my breasts. “Look at me, Nova.”

I looked up to meet his eyes, no longer watching his hands move over my breasts. And then he pinched me. His fingertips clamped down on both nipples tightly and the surge of liquid that went through me before tripled. A sharp gasp escaped from between my lips as I lifted my hands over his. I wanted his fingers off my breasts. He was hurting me.

“Stop,” I demanded, trying to pull his hands from my aching nipples. He pinched harder when I tried to pull him away and I dropped my hands. “Calix,” his name was a word between a cry and a moan. “You’re hurting me.”