Captured Miracle (20 page)

And I told him. Harshly - with all the emotion I had inside of me. “Because kids aren’t possible with you!”

He stiffened, but his arms still held me firmly against him. When he said nothing, I slumped back against him. Feeling weak, tears moistened my dry eyes and I trembled without control.

He shifted, tightening his thighs around mine until I was entirely unable to move, locked against his great mass. He bowed his head to press his lips against my shoulder. He kissed a trail up over my neck, nuzzling the skin behind my ear before peppering the path he’d taken up, back down over my shoulder. His mouth was warm against my skin, but the gentleness in his kiss made me cry even harder.

At my sob, he hissed in a deep breath. “Anything is possible, love.”

“Not that,” my heart rushed. “Not with you.”

“Why?” He asked and I wondered how he was even being serious.

“You
took
me, Calix!” I slammed my eyes closed.

“I took you, Nova.” He confirmed firmly. “And I will never give you back. You belong to me now, so everything you want from life you’re going to have to find in me. I’ll do all I can to make you happy and I’ll give you everything you want apart from your freedom to leave me.”

I stilled in his arms, feeling hot and cold. Confusion and loss swept through my body as I tried to wrap my mind around his declaration. I didn’t understand it.

“Are you saying,” I paused. “Are you saying you want - kids?”

“I’ve never wanted children.” He admitted matter of fact.

“Then why are we discussing this?” I asked sharply, feeling exhausted down to the very core of my being. I swear my soul was tired.

“Because you will be my wife.” He flattened his palm over my belly. “And I want to give you everything I can.”

Feeling bitter, I spoke. “I don’t want your kids.”

Chapter 18

“I know you can be happy with me, Nova. You simply have to allow yourself.”

“I don’t want to be happy with you, Calix.” I whispered into the night. “Being happy with you makes me feel guilty. Every time I even crack a smile because of you, I hate myself a little more.”

He tensed. “Why?”

I shifted in his arms, turning my side into him so I could see his face. “How can I be happy with you when those I love believe I’m being tortured? How can I allow myself anything with you when my mother is blaming herself for my abduction.”

“She isn’t blaming herself.”

“She is.” I argued.

“That’s ridiculous, Nova.” Calix frowned down at me. “She couldn’t have done anything.”

“I know she couldn’t have done anything to save me!” Hysteria fringed the edges of my tone. “No one can save me from you!”

“You’re right,” he growled. “No one can save you from me, love. Get used to a long life standing next to me.”

I shivered. But it wasn’t in fear of his vow. Instead, it was because I
liked
the idea of always standing next to him. And I shouldn’t. Guilt swarmed me and I blinked back my sadness.

“She is my mother, Calix. Any mother would blame herself for her inability to protect her child from a monster.” I let my eyes stare into his. “Whether it is because of her negligence or not.”

He smirked, “You think I’m a monster?”

I didn’t hesitate. “I think what you do is monstrous, yes.”

“You don’t know what I do.” He replied.

“You abducted me. You take without asking and you have an army of men too frightened to deny your commands. I know you’re anything but good.”

“I have money, Nova. With money comes power and with power comes enemies.” His eyes were cold and hard. “I have an army because I need one.”

Swallowing, I nodded. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore and I said so. “I’m done talking about this.”

Tightly, he nodded. “Good. I’d like to know more about you.”

“Likewise.”

His eyes darkened and his jaw hardened. “What do you want to know?”

Why you took me. I want to know why you took me!

Instead, I said. “What do you do for a living?”

“I own a shipping company.”

I felt my eyes widen. “I thought you said we were in Alberta.”

“We are.” He nodded. “I’ve hired someone to oversee the business. I bought this house for you. I thought you would like the land.”

Wow. “What kind of shipping company?”

“Import export.” He replied vaguely.

“Do you work a lot?” I asked quietly. The idea of being married to a workaholic was not one I liked. But I also never thought I would be forced to take a husband I didn’t choose. Would it be better if Calix was away at work for the better part of the year? Would it be better if I never had to see him?

“I did.”

“You don’t plan to continue working as much?” I asked quietly, cocking my head.

“Would it please you?” He asked. “To have me home often?”

Mouth gaping, I looked at him. Why did he ask such difficult questions?

“I don’t know.”

“You do.” He stated. “Did you prefer me being away?”

Looking down to the blanket in my lap, I shook my head. “No. I prefer you here.”

“Then I will continue to employ others to oversee my company. Of course, there will be times I will need to be involved, but I will try to limit my visits to those that are necessary.”

Looking up at him through large eyes, I asked the one question plaguing my mind. “Will I ever see my mother or sisters again?”

A shadow crossed over his face. “I don’t know.”

Blinking back my sadness, I grasped for his hand. Holding his hand tight against my rapidly beating heart, I met his eyes. “Please, let me contact them. Let me tell them I’m alright and that I’m happy.”

He looked tortured. His eyes were dark and his jaw was tight as he stared into my face. “I can’t allow you to contact them until I believe you’re happy. And right now I don’t believe you are.”

“I can’t ever be happy if they think I’m laying in a ditch somewhere.” My tone was frantic. “Please understand.”

“My decision is final, Nova.” The resolution wasn’t something I could argue with - but I wanted to. Desperately.

“Once I’ve married you, will you allow me to contact them?” I tried to bargain. “I’ll have married you, Calix, willingly. Please,”

For a long moment, he simply regarded me. Finally, he nodded and my heart felt so light as though a weight had been lifted from its surface. A shrill sound fell from my lips as I threw my arms around his neck. It was something between a laugh and a sob. Pressing my face against the nook of his neck, I breathed. “Thank you, Calix.” Pressing my lips against his skin, I kissed him. “Thank you so much!”

His hands moved around my body to flatten against my back, pressing my front against his chest tightly. His voice was deep - so deep I felt it in the marrow of my bones. “You’re welcome, love.”

For reasons beyond my ability to understand, I couldn’t bring myself to let go of Calix. For the first time since being taken by this beautifully enigmatic man, I felt a sense of hope. True hope. Calix would allow me to contact my family. I would be able to tell them that I was all right and that they had no need to fear for me. I could tell them to move on with their lives. All I had to do was marry Calix. Marrying this dark handsome man wasn’t nearly as large a price I would have once thought it to be. Instead, I found I was almost looking forward to it.

Was I crazy?

Probably.

But that didn’t matter any longer. Because crazy or not, I belonged to my captor. I belonged to Calix. Forevermore, I would be his.

I knew this like I knew the sun would rise in the morning.

Chapter 19

I woke to the feel of skin pressed against mine, sticky and moist. I was laying on my back against the bed of the swing and Calix was curled around me, surrounding me. His breathing was even and I knew he was asleep. He
should
still be asleep. It was early and we had gone to bed late. We’d talked about nothing into the wee hours of the morning. And now I was awake. Wide awake. I knew there was no hope of falling back to sleep either. The sun had only just begun to claim the night, a golden haze glimmering over the mountainous range.

I sighed.

Crooking my neck, I glanced at Calix and wondered how he had even slept out here. The swing was large enough for me to sleep in comfortably, but he was bent in awkward ways that couldn’t possibly be comfortable for him.

Shifting, I tried to wiggle out from beneath the weight of his arm where he’d rested it against my stomach. A throaty moan sounded as his eyes fluttered open. “Where are you going?”

I whispered. “I have to pee.”

“Why are you whispering?” He frowned, straightening.

I shrugged. I don’t know why I was whispering. “It’s early.”

A small smile quirked his lips and he nodded, releasing me from his hold. “Come back out here when you’re done.”

“I will,” I promised. Scooting to the edge of the swing, I wrapped the towel I’d deposited in the corner around my naked body before placing my feet onto the stone floor of the balcony.

Moving quickly into the bedroom, I crossed the space for the bathroom. On a deep breath, I closed and locked the bathroom door behind me. Staring at myself in the mirror, I wondered how I got to this place. I knew how I had gotten here physically - but I had no idea how I had gotten to this place mentally.

I barely recognized myself and it had only been four days. Four days with Calix had been enough to morph me into someone I didn’t fully know or understand - but I also didn’t want to change back.

Somehow, I had begun to accept my place here with Calix. Even though I knew, deep in my mind that my feelings were anything but normal, I couldn’t seem to ignore them. I was beginning to
care
for the man who’d stolen me. And I didn’t want to stop. I knew I couldn’t even if I had wanted to.

Turning away from the mirror, I moved around the bathroom to complete my business. Washing my hands, I stood staring at the shower. As much as I wanted to see Calix, I couldn’t seem to bring myself to walk back outside. I wanted a shower. I wanted time to think - away from him. And I wanted to start my day.

Glancing once at the locked bathroom door, I dropped my towel to the floor and walked toward the shower. Turning on the water, I waited until it was warm before I slipped under the stream. Sighing, I tilted my face upward and let the water fall over my body.

It felt good - cleansing. And yet despite the feeling of being cleaned the water gave me, I still couldn’t seem to wash Calix from me. His scent stained my skin. His taste lingered in my mouth. His image branded my mind.

The man had literally infused himself within my entity.

And he hadn’t even fucked me.

The thought was chilling. That Calix could infuse himself so completely in my life, in my body. Is this what he wanted? Had he taken me with the purpose of making me want him - ache for him - need him? Did he want me to rely on him? Love him?

And, could I?

I honestly didn’t know if I could love someone who had immersed himself so wrongly in my life. And yet I had begun to feel for him. In the back of my mind, I knew it was only a matter of time before Calix infused himself within my heart as well. And I didn’t have the faintest clue of how I was supposed to keep that from happening.

From the corner of my eye, I saw the bathroom door open wide. My mouth dropped as I watched Calix stride into the steam filled room. Closing the door behind him, I watched as he settled his eyes on me. Beneath his intense scrutiny, my skin prickled with awareness.

“How did you get in here?” I gaped.

“I told you to return to me.”

“After I finished with my business.” I replied. “I wasn’t finished yet.”

He narrowed his piercing blue gaze and my heart gave a little leap in my chest. “Don’t be smart with me, Nova.” He opened the shower door and stepped through. The man was large and his mass quickly claimed the space, making it feel so much more confined. Yet, despite the suddenly restrictive feel, I couldn’t help but feel better in his presence. As though he alone could calm my crazed state of mind. “I expect you to do as I say, love. Your refusal to comply will result in punishment.”

“P-punishment?” I blinked.

“Yes.” His eyes flickered over my body, making me squirm at the heat of his desire. “Punishment.”

“How?” I gasped.

He crooked his lips. “However I choose.”

“Are you,” I paused to gather control of my suddenly trembling nerves. “Are you a sadist?”

He shrugged. “I’ll let you make your own judgments.”

“I would rather not.” I had never been one for pain - of any kind. I’d always been one of those people who grew so queasy in the presence of needles that I more often than not fainted. Just getting my ears pierced had taken incessant coaching from Jaylah. The idea of taking a fighting class like boxing for fun was just mind boggling. What if I got hit? No! I had never been one for pain of any kind and the thought that Calix, my captor, might be into that so-called pain for pleasure crap just sent my mind into a state of panic.

“If you don’t wish to know, don’t defy me.” He stated simply. As though it were
simple
! The man was an absolute lunatic. He had to be.

“I didn’t mean to defy you.” I whispered.

“If you hadn’t meant to defy me, you never would have locked the door.”

Goosebumps littered my flesh at the tone of his voice and I felt the need to explain - to defend my actions. I hated that he brought out this humiliatingly weak side of me. But damn, I was just so afraid of pain. The thought alone made my joints feel weak and tingly and my skin warm as though I were mere moments from breaking out in a sweat. “I just wanted to be alone.”

“Why?”

“I,” I shook my head and studied my toes. The blue nail polish I had done with Jaylah the night before I had been taken was beginning to chip. It was no longer so pretty. “I needed to think.”

“About what?”

“I locked the door so I wouldn’t have to share my thoughts with you.”

He took a step toward me, herding me toward the wall as he had done the night before. “And I like knowing what you’re thinking. Share.”