“I have to know what that was about. I don’t think she’s gone anywhere just yet—she’ll take a minute to calm down before she drives.”
“Can’t this wait till tomorrow? The story’s not going to change by then.”
“No, I have to do this.”
Sydney ran outside and looked around. She saw a car leaving and her shoulders sank, thinking she missed Maria after all.
She decided to check the guest parking lot; after all, it could have been Brandon who had just left.
She was right.
They hadn’t seen his car when they came in, but she figured he must have parked in the other guest lot on the opposite side—which she suspected was there simply to maintain symmetry.
She felt relieved Maria didn’t have to run into Brandon again as a result since he was clearly someone she didn’t want to see.
Sydney went up to the car, where Maria was slumped over the wheel.
She opened the driver’s door.
“Maria, what the heck was that about?” she asked, examining her friend.
“Fucking bastard,” Maria said as she opened the car door, forcing Sydney back, then stepped out, slamming the door shut. She leaned against it for a moment, then she started pacing back and forth, her cheeks flushed, eyes downcast.
“What are you talking about Maria?”
Maria stopped.
“You know, this sure doesn’t look good for Nicholas.”
She started pacing again.
“Maria, you’re not making any sense!”
Maria finally stopped pacing and looked at her.
“He raped me Sydney, about four years ago. The summer before our senior year.”
Sydney took a few seconds to absorb her friend’s words. The shock rendered her speechless, which, although not hard to do, also left her petrified. She wasn’t sure if she was breathing for a few seconds.
“No...” Sydney began, her fingers over her mouth.
“Yes. God, when you told me what happened to you I wanted to kick his ass—I didn’t know it was part of a sick plan!” Her eyes flared. “I was so stupid. You know, I just put it aside, chalked it up to my first experience. But no. The son-of-a-bitch planned to do it.” Silent tears were now running down her face; in fact, Sydney would not have noticed them had it not been for the moonlight making the streaks gleam.
“Fucking bastard. You know, he pretended he was into me, acted like my boyfriend, took me out. Then one time on a date, he started to seduce me but I wasn’t ready. But he went ahead and did it anyway. I didn’t really know what to make of it—didn’t really think of it as rape then since we were just making out and I just hadn’t decided by the time...” She shook her head.
Sydney went to her and held her, letting her tears blend into her shirt.
Her thoughts took her back to that summer four years ago, but particularly Maria’s transformation. She realized that she had perhaps been too distraught from her own experience to attribute more to it, but Maria had indeed changed after that summer. All this time she had thought it was just a reaction to how much more withdrawn Sydney herself had become, or that it was a natural change for Maria, from teen to young woman, that she had somehow matured earlier despite only a five-month difference between them.
Sydney couldn’t believe she hadn’t put it together before.
She had known a Mary had been involved, but had never dreamed it could have been her best friend—especially since Maria hadn’t let on something major had happened.
“So that’s why you’re Maria now?” she asked.
Maria nodded her head.
“Mary’s dead to me,” she said.
Suddenly she whipped her head to the side, her hair swinging.
“Did you hear that?” she asked, peering through the darkness.
“Um, no—hear what?”
Sydney was too busy with the new revelations and all the mental activity that went with it to notice anything from the outside.
Maria shook her head.
“Never-mind. I guess I’m just paranoid. I keep expecting to see him again, for him to jump out of the bushes or something.”
She let out a breath and a tiny smile.
“Well, my right hook’s certainly wanting to run into him again if you know what I mean.”
She laughed a little. Then the night swallowed it.
“Sydney, you know what this means right? I mean, it occurred to me before that Nicholas might have known the bastards, but this...”
“I’m not sure I want to hear this Maria.”
“I’m just saying, it weirds me out that Nicholas knows him. Look, I figured a while back that once I found out who Brandon’s friends were we’d find the culprits, so this doesn’t look good for Nicholas.”
Sydney sent Maria a look she fully expected to literally cut her.
Maria averted her eyes and her body a little, even as she continued to defend her position.
“Think about it Sydney. At the very least, he really does know who they all are and what they did.”
“Stop it right there Maria. Nicholas isn’t like that.”
“Maybe not now, but who knows...”
“Maria, I don’t want to hear about your stupid theories okay? You know what, this doesn’t make any sense talking about this. I’m going back inside.” Sydney turned to go but Maria grabbed her arm.
“Think about it,” Maria said again, looking her directly in the eye this time.
But Sydney refused to think about it, in fact, put it out of her mind as soon as she reentered the house.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
On Saturday morning, Sydney found her morning reading cut short—not by Nicholas popping by with a movie, but by Maria and her excitement big enough to be another person.
“Guess who I ran into at the supermarket!” Maria said as she came into the house.
“Who?”
“Sarah Landon!”
“Oh my god, what did she say? How is she doing?”
“Well, I went up to her, hugged her, chatted with her three-year-old Amy—she’s so cute! She has these big blue eyes and curly blond hair, looks just like her mother. I mean she’s the sweetest little thing. And Sarah absolutely adores her, her face just lit up when she was talking about her.” Sydney faked a yawn so Maria went on. “Anyway, I told her I wanted to talk to her about something serious. Of course she wanted some idea of what I wanted to talk about so I looked at her daughter and said: ‘It’s about Amy.’ Silly me, I forgot three-year-olds understand that stuff. You should’ve heard her in her cute little baby voice: ‘What’s about me?’ she asked. Anyway, I told Sarah it was very important, that there was a connection between me, her and another girl. I think she understood somewhat, and although she seemed reluctant, she gave me her number, and she took mine. I want us to meet with her today if we can.”
Sydney felt simultaneous trepidation and delight.
“Okay. Call her and make sure she’s available,” she said.
***
They sipped their iced coffees slowly waiting for Sarah in the coffee shop.
Maria recognized her immediately when she came toward the opening, her blond hair pulled back in a sharp ponytail.
Sydney immediately felt sorry for her—she looked like she had aged at twice the rate of her and Maria, looking much older than her twenty-one
years.
“Sarah, I’m so glad you could make it! I hope it wasn’t a problem. You remember Sydney?”
“Yeah I do.” She nodded and smiled at Sydney then turned back to Maria. “I left Amy with my mom, so it’s no problem. I’m really curious though—what’s this about? You said it was about Amy.”
Maria took a quick glance in Sydney’s direction.
“Yeah. Gosh, I rehearsed this so many times in my head and I still don’t know how to put it. Actually, I wonder if there’s somewhere more private we could go...it’s a pretty sensitive subject matter.”
“Yeah, you said that when you called. Look, the cafe’s pretty empty right now. Let’s sit over there, no one’s close enough. And we’ll talk in hushed tones if it’ll make you feel better.”
They followed Sarah’s point and moved to a more isolated area, sitting with Maria and Sydney facing Sarah in the booth.
“Okay, Sarah,” Maria began again. “I recently found out that Sydney had a similar experience to you several years ago.”
Maria stopped as if giving her a chance to let it sink in.
Sarah appeared not to comprehend for a few seconds, then her face tightened.
“I’m not sure I want to talk about this,” she said, looking as if she was about to get up.
“No listen, Sarah.” Maria sighed. “I guess there’s no beating around the bush here.” Maria lowered her voice to a whisper, switching her pointing finger between Sydney and herself, said: “Something similar happened to us, around the same time.”
Sarah looked back and forth between Sydney and Maria, her eyebrows furrowed. Her breathing had become a little more pronounced.
“I don’t understand,” she said, but she looked like she comprehended completely.
“Sydney tell her,” Maria prompted.
Sarah fixed her eyes on Sydney.
“Okay.”
Sydney told her what she had told Maria.
“Then I woke up in my car and I remember being so relieved because one of them had seemed pretty set on dropping me off on the side of the road. Naked.”
Sarah gasped. Sydney presumed it was because she recognized the m.o.
Rivers had already been silently running down Sarah’s face as Sydney told her story, but now her crying was quite audible. The few patrons looked in their direction.
Sydney kept her voice low.
“The other guy managed to convince him not to do it. I woke up in my car, stuffed the evidence I had in the backseat, and drove home. I never reported it.”
Sarah was still crying, but it dawned on Sydney that they weren’t tears of sympathy. Maria got up to go over to Sarah’s side but Sarah put her hand up, stopping her in her tracks.
“What the hell did you tell me this for? I didn’t want to relive this!” Sarah stood, her accusing eyes burning into theirs. “What can we do about it now, huh?”
They had the full attention of two patrons.
“I’m sorry Sarah,” Maria began softly, “but we want to know who were involved in this. Don’t you?”
Sarah stood there for a few moments, her angry face blotchy and scrunched, sniffing. Then she flopped back into the chair, dabbing at her nose with her napkin.
“So you know who did it?” she asked. Her tone was a mixture of hope and despair.
“Sarah, if the three of us put our heads together, we can find out. I know who raped me, and now I know that he was in on it with two of his friends.”
“Wait, how do you know? They didn’t use the same method with you?”
Maria shook her head.
“Mine decided to pretend to be my boyfriend. It was basically date rape, but you know what? They made a lot of mistakes. That was one of their first—letting me see his face. But coupled with that, is choosing two friends—me and Sydney. They should have assumed we’d put two and two together.”
“Yeah, but look how long it took for us to swap stories,” Sydney inserted. “Maybe we’re really dealing with a clever mastermind who somehow figured one or both of us would keep it to ourselves. Or maybe they really did just overlook that risky aspect. Bottom line is, we’re this close to finding out who they are. And Maria has the main clue.”
“Yeah.” Maria was looking downward. “Unfortunately, Brandon didn’t seem to have any particular friends he hung out with, not at the time I was dating him anyway.”
“Yeah well, tell us about him. Everything you can remember.”
Sydney’s notepad and pen were ready.
“Okay. From the top: Brandon Fawkes. About 5’7”, thick, dark wavy hair, green eyes...”
***
“So I assume neither of you reported what happened.”
Maria and Sydney looked at each other, then shook their heads.
“So why don’t you report it now? The police might be able to do this better. Faster.”
Sydney smiled.
“You were...
are
very brave Sarah. I was never able to bring myself to do it, still can’t. And I—I know this is no excuse since you did it—but I didn’t have any idea who it was. I had absolutely nothing to give in terms of physical description or anything.”
“As for me,” Maria began, “I blamed myself for a long time: I didn’t protest enough, didn’t make it clear enough. I thought he was just doing what was normally done, yada, yada, yada. And now, well, it just doesn’t seem practical to go through with it. It’s not like I have any evidence either, and I still haven’t quite come to terms with how I feel about the whole thing. I think I’m just chalking that one up to experience, horrible as it was.” She looked sheepish. “I guess in a way, I still blame myself.”
“But you shouldn’t!”
Sydney looked away.
Sarah sighed.
“So where do we go from here?” she asked.
“Well, I can try to contact Brandon maybe? Apologize for socking him in the face and pretend I just want to touch base with an old ‘friend’?”
“And then?”
Sarah raised her eyebrows.
Maria groaned.
“I know, it’s stupid. But I feel like we’re so close! Like all I have to do is ask him to tell me about his old friends. Or I can get my brothers to help.” She rubbed her chin. “Some brute force might work...” She had a gleam in her eye.
“No, we’re not getting anyone close to us involved. We’d only be putting them at risk for being arrested. Which means I probably shouldn’t ask Nicholas either, even though he’s quite possibly the strongest link.”
Maria slumped. Then she straightened up as it seemed another idea hit her.
“Sydney, tell us more about their interaction. I may have seen Brandon, but you’re the only one who actually heard the three of them talking. Any other clues?”
Sydney thought it over then started shaking her head.
“Nothing more than what I’ve already told you...” Sydney racked her brain. “Okay, well obviously they were pretty close...”
“Yeah, and they probably met in boarding school since Brandon told me that’s where he did high school.”
“Do you remember which one?” Sarah asked Maria. Maria shook her head then turned to Sydney.
“Sydney, did they use names? Call each other anything?”
Sydney was already shaking her head.
“They used ‘names,’ but they weren’t real. And I remember them because they were such odd names to use.” Sydney thought about the pseudonyms. “Do you know that children’s poem? ‘Wynken, Blynken, and Nod?’ That’s what they were using.”
Both Sarah’s and Maria’s faces contorted in confusion.
“Never heard of it,” Sarah said, shaking her head.
“I remember it—you read it to me like ten years ago on a sleepover. About the brothers in a shoe boat heading for the moon or something. But what the hell’s that supposed to mean? Was it code for ‘The Sleepers’ or something? What the fuck?”
“Nicholas went to boarding school,” Sydney said absent-mindedly.
“And that has what to do with anything?” asked Maria. “We’ve already established that he probably knows them. Now unless you can figure out a way to question him without him getting curious about why...” Maria lifted and released her shoulders.
“Looks like we’re gonna have to rely on dumb luck for the next big clue,” Sarah replied. “Wait, who’s Nicholas?”
“Oh, it’s Sydney’s boyfriend. You know, Nicholas Dhalton.”
Sarah’s eyebrows rose.
“Interesting.” She smiled. “You know, I used to have a big ol’ crush on him,” she said awkwardly, grinning.
“Me too,” Sydney replied. They all laughed.
Then Sarah’s face was serious again.
“He was actually a friend of an ex-boyfriend of mine...if I can call him that.”
Her face contorted in disgust.
***
Sydney considered what Maria had said about getting Nicholas to divulge important information and she came up with a plan.
For a while now, she had been going back and forth regarding if—and when—to tell Nicholas about her experience. She accepted running into Sarah as a sign since she had been recently struggling with it; this had to be the resolution. Despite being the one to say they shouldn’t tell anyone close to them, it was time to tell him; the resolution of the larger issue was up to her, she felt it.
Sydney ignored the knots in her stomach at the thought of running into Evelyn again, called Nicholas and arranged to come over.
As Sydney entered the house and headed to Nicholas’s room, she saw Allison heading down.
“Sydney! So we run into each other again. I’m glad! I want to get to know you better. No don’t look so worried! You seem cool so far...”
Sydney was saved by Evelyn passing them by on the phone, throwing a small smile in her daughter’s direction.
“...and spiced chicken wings,” she heard Evelyn say into the phone as she continued down the stairs.
“Mom, I don’t eat meat remember?”
Evelyn covered the mouthpiece and turned to her daughter.
“Yeah, but your guests do remember?”
Allison flushed.
Evelyn smiled at Allison. Then her eyes shifted toward Sydney.
“Oh hi there.”
Sydney lifted her hand and waved, turning the corners of her mouth up.
“Hello Mrs. Dhalton.”
Evelyn turned and continued down the stairs.
“Make sure you order those cheese and tomato risotto balls,” Allison called out after her.
Evelyn turned slightly and waved her fingers.
“Well, you know my daughter Karen—the usual. Oh, and order those fortune cookies—I think the kids will love them...Let’s see—I guess cappuccino, mint, blueberry and cherry should be good. Oh the strawberry ones too, she’ll have a fit if they aren’t there. And the chocolate covered ones as well of course...Yes, I want the fountain too—don’t I always?” Evelyn laughed. The rest of the conversation faded away as she went out of hearing range.
Allison turned fully toward Sydney, a brilliant smile on her face.
“Oh yeah—I’m having a party soon. You should come,” she said, nodding her head vigorously, reminding Sydney of an eager dog. Sydney couldn’t help but smile at Allison’s apparent genuine enthusiasm.
“Oh I don’t...I don’t even know what to get you.”
“Oh please—that’s your excuse? You have to come anyway. Nick’s gonna be there.”
She seemed to sense Sydney’s reluctance, so she grabbed and held onto Sydney’s arm like a child.
“Oh come on,” she whined, “I want to introduce you to my friends. And it’s gonna be fun, I promise.”
Sydney smiled again. She imagined she was getting a glimpse of what it was like to have a younger sibling.
It also warmed her heart; it seemed Allison was already treating her like a member of the family, accepted her without question.
So she really didn’t have a choice.
“Okay Allison, I’ll come,” Sydney said.
“And stay for a while okay? And call me Ally.”
“Ally!”
Sydney felt a shower of relief at the sound of Nicholas’s voice forcefully saying his sister’s name. She looked up and saw him making his way down the stairs. “You’re not harassing my girlfriend are you?”
“I’m just getting to know her Nicky.”
Nicholas made a face at Allison while Sydney mouthed the nickname to him in silent ridicule.
He smiled at her and lifted his hand to wag his finger at her, but his finger stopped mid-wag, his arm falling back to his side. He was still making his way down the stairs, but his eyes had shifted, a cloak of darkness falling over his face as he glowered.
Sydney turned and saw that his eyes had settled on his mother, who looked like she was about to come up the stairs but changed her mind, walking away.
Sydney felt her bladder knocking and it couldn’t have done it at a better time—she needed a break. She fled to the nearest bathroom.