Close Your Eyes (50 page)

I
n the days that followed
the break
up, Meg thought that there was nothing left for her.
Even her
mom’s disbelief
and
horror barely reach
ed
through the glass wall of indifference that
Meg
had built around
herself
to strip
herself
of
human emotions. Her whole life had been
woven
around Ry
an
. E
v
ery single thread
led
to
him and
the love they had shared. She
could barely
think of anything without stumbling on
to
him or
Matt
. Their
lives
were
to
o
intertwined to let her detangle her own thread and leave the crumpled
remains
behind. Ry
an
didn’t make it easy
,
either. He had called her twice, each time trying to talk as
if they
still had this magic connection that started over twenty years ago in kindergarten. He even had the guts to talk about Alice, probably trying to prepare
Megan
for the unavoidable news that
he and Alice
had
indeed
become
a couple.

Meg
had tried
very hard to dislike the other girl
, but she simply
couldn’t. Alice
hadn’t
really destroy
ed
what she had
.
And Meg’s conscience wouldn’t let
her to take the easy way out and blame the other girl for her misfortunes. If anyone,
she and
Ry
an
were
to blame for being so blind for so long.

And then there was
Matt
.
Just a thought of him sen
t
Megan’s
heart
in
to frantic palpitation
s that took away
her breath. He
made
good
on his promise to stay in touch
by
calling her with news about his grandfather after his visit in the hospital the next day.
Unable to pick up the receiver, s
he listened to
his message on
the answering machine. He sounded subdued and worried
. He asked her to call him back.
But s
he wouldn’t call him yet
, n
ot after the way she
had thrown
herself at him the previous evening
,
begg
ing
for sex like some drunk
en
harlot. He might be liberal and wild, but she was pretty sure that she
had taken
him by surprise
,
and once he recovered
,
he
wouldn’t
think too highly of what
had
transpired.
So she avoided him as much as she could
.

She took
a few days off
from
her store and
left
a
stunned Jenna in charge.
Given their history,
Megan knew Matt
would be looking for her in her florist’s shop,
and
the sheer thought of
his presence
was
literally
unbearable.
His messages and calls went unanswered
while
she spent a few days in London, mostly
visiting friends from university.
Before, s
he had been too busy to take on any of the many invitations from her girlfriends,
and
their surprised delight to have her around
made
her hiatus a bit easier.
S
he knew it wasn’t enough
, though
. She was too close
.
H
er parents
’
city apartment
was
not far enough for her to relax and allow herself to plan for her future. There was a lot of planning to do
. Her
latest struggles with her mom
had made
finding her own place a priority.

Henry Harper didn’t die. Three weeks after his stroke, he was already walking with the support of a cane, and his speech was almost perfectly restored. His doctors were amazed by his progress from day one, if Meg were to believe the news her mom would report whenever they spoke on the phone.
The conversations were short and rather awkward. Meg was very well aware how deeply her sudden defection had hurt her mother. But they didn’t mention the reason for her escape to London, even though the reasons for the silence couldn’t have been more transparent.

Being with Ry
an
had
made her complacent. She
hadn’t
really plan
ned
too much
for her future
,
because she
was
dead certain that
she and Ryan
would do it together
and that
her
current
life
was
nothing but a prelude to their
shared
future.
She loved her shop and couldn’t imagine selling it to move away, even though she could imagine Jenna wouldn’t mind taking it over now that her wedding plans with Eric
had
entered the final stage.
Jenna
would be getting married in a few months
,
and
Eric’s
savings put together with hers
would
definitely
be
enough to buy
Meg
out if she chose to sell her part of the business.
She wasn’t eager to do so, by any means.
But staying around the town where
the
Harper
s still ruled as if
the town were in
the
Middle
Ages made it a difficult choice. She would run into
Ry
an
and Alice,
because
his involvement in
his
family
’s
business
made
it obvious
that
he wouldn’t be moving away anytime soon.
And Megan wasn’t sure she could do it.

To her own amazement, she realized that this wasn’t the hardest part of imagining staying back home. True, it still felt awkward and rather wistful to think of him in the past tense. However, she was absolutely sure she could handle it, even though she was bound to find herself talked about by the local busybodies
who were
eager to have some gossip about the
Harper
s.

Staying home meant that she would be running into
Matt
. He was moving to the States for a few years, but
he
would be back for
important
family events, probably with a new girlfriend on his arm. And if she were completely honest with herself, just
the
thought of
Matt’s
heart belonging to the unknown stranger filled
Megan’s
with such an utter misery that she could howl with anguish.

It
came
as a blessing when her dad appeared at the London flat
’s
doorstep one evening
.
With worried eyes, he studied her thin frame.
She knew she had lost some weight
. She had been u
nable to eat and
was
too restless to sit down most of the time. Her clothes didn’t fit properly
and hung
lo
o
se
ly
from her shrinking frame.

‘Hello, sweetheart.’ He kissed her cheek
reassuring
ly
. ‘I thought I’d have a look at
you
while
I was
in town. And I’ve got an early present for your birthday.’ He followed her to the living room
, where he noticed her unpacked bag
. Two or three sets of clothes were hanging in the wardrobe
. T
he rest of
her
things
were
randomly thrown into her elegant Hermes bag that had been her parents
’
gift for her graduation. She didn’t really feel like making herself at home,
but preferred
the thought of living in the moment. Maybe this nomadic lifestyle could take the edge of
f
her misery
.

‘So, I was just thinking that there is this huge flower fair coming up in Amsterdam just this weekend.’
Her father had n
ever
been
one to waste time
. He
smiled at her and reached into the pocket of his elegant tweed jacket. ‘I thought you might like to have a look at it yourself, now that you run your shop and all.’
He pulled out a
plane ticket and two printouts that looked a lot like a hotel reservation
.