Authors: Mila Gray
29/05/2014 15:30
COME BACK TO ME
and shakes his head. Oh God. My stomach contracts in
anticipation as I watch him lower his head and start to
kiss his way up my legs. My bones dissolve, every cell in
my body igniting in a chain reaction. My nerve endings
are frayed electrical wires. Every touch of his lips sends
up a spray of sparks that travels all the way to the tips of
my fingers and toes. I grip hold of the brand new covers
on the bed and hear myself moaning as Kit parts my legs
and keeps kissing me until my head spins.
He has me in the palm of his hand and the ache in my
core is a tight, sweet pull that quickly becomes a throb.
He trails another wave of kisses across my belly, and by
the time he reaches my neck and starts kissing the spot
just beneath my ear, I’m almost in tears I’m so frustrated,
aching for him to be inside me. My body is arched
painfully, taut as a bow, my breathing ragged.
‘Kit,’ I say.
He kisses my lips, silencing me, and then I hear him
reaching for something on the nightstand. I keep my eyes
closed as he rolls on a condom, and only when he settles
over me, resting his weight on his arms, do I open my
eyes. He’s watching me, waiting for me to give permis-
sion. I nod, and he presses slowly against me, guiding
himself in, the whole time watching me carefully. I inhale
sharply at the sudden pain and then again at the wave of
pleasure that follows quickly in its wake. He stops, and I
can tell he’s scared of hurting me. He knows I’m a virgin.
I wrap my legs around his waist and grip onto his shoul-
ders, urging him on. He pushes harder, easing fully into
me with a groan, and I let out a gasp as he fills me com-
pletely. I rake my hands down his back, not wanting him
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to stop. ‘You feel amazing,’ he whispers in my ear as he
slowly, gently builds up a rhythm that makes me gasp for
breath.
He kisses my neck, my lips, my breasts, and I run my
hands over his rock solid stomach and chest, and though
it stings for a moment, soon I forget everything except the
feel of him, his weight on top of me, the pure strength of
his body.
I feel like he owns me, like I own him, like I never want
to let him go. Within seconds, I start to feel a fire spread-
ing through my limbs, a crazy, intense spiralling of
pleasure that he stokes with every stroke, until I feel like
I’m going to burst. Kit moves faster and I raise my hips
and move against him, wanting more of him, all of him.
His eyes are half closed, and a trail of sweat snakes
down his chest.
‘I love you,’ I tell him, the words falling past my lips
just as everything builds to an exquisite point and I come.
I collapse backwards onto the bed, crying out, and Kit
collapses down on top of me, breathing hard.
Little sparks travel down my legs. I stroke my hands
through Kit’s hair and trail a hand down his spine feeling
deliciously languid and loose-limbed, loving the feel of
his body sinking into mine. I trace the muscles across his
shoulders and back and shiver as another wave of
pleasure rocks through me.
After a few moments he makes to roll off me, but I
hold him in place. I don’t want him to go anywhere. In -
stead he wraps his arms around me and rolls with me in
his arms so I’m lying on top of him, my head on his
shoulder, our limbs entwined. For several minutes we
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stay like that, neither of us speaking, our hearts slamming
into each other.
‘Fuck,’ Kit says, a laugh in his voice, ‘that was amaz-
ing.’ He kisses my forehead. ‘Are you OK? Did I hurt
you?’
I open my eyes, though it feels as though they’re made
of lead. ‘Are you kidding?’ I ask. ‘Now I know what all
the fuss is about. When can we go again?’
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Kit
We make love once more, this time slower – I’m aware
she must be sore, though she claims not to be – and then
once again in the small hours of the morning, both of us
drowsily breaking out of sleep and reaching for each
other. Each time is better than the last, even though each
time I’m pretty sure it couldn’t possibly get any better. I
get her to tell me exactly what she likes, how she wants to
be touched, and she does the same with me until it feels
like we know each other in ways no one else will ever or
could ever come close to knowing.
I wake in the morning when a slat of sunlight breaks
through a crack in the curtain. The first thing I become
aware of is the warmth of Jessa’s naked body pressed
against mine, and instantly I’m aroused. Oh man. At this
rate I’m going to be walking like John Wayne.
Jessa mumbles in her sleep and pushes back against
me. I take a deep breath, trying to imagine what it would
be like to wake up to her in my arms naked like this every
morning. I can’t believe we’ve only got two weeks left.
The chances of us getting to spend another night together
like this one are slim to none – Didi’s going on vacation
with her parents, so Jessa won’t be able to use the excuse
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of staying over at hers – so I close my eyes and revel in
the moment. This night is going to be what gets me
through the next year.
I press a kiss to Jessa’s shoulder and she rolls over so
she’s facing me, her eyes still closed. ‘Is it morning?’ she
asks with a smile on her lips.
I kiss her, all the while thinking
this girl loves me
. She
loves
me
. ‘Yes,’ I tell her.
She sighs and opens her eyes. Even though they’re
shadowed from lack of sleep they’re sparkling bright, and
I’m struck by the look in them. It’s as if she’s transformed
overnight − at my hands, I remind myself a little smugly
− into a total seductress without a trace of innocence left
about her. Her hair is in total disarray, her cheeks flushed.
She looks well and truly ravished. ‘I wish we could stay
in bed for the next two weeks,’ she says, pouting, ‘until
you have to go.’
‘I think if we did that, neither of us might ever walk
again,’ I say, laughing. ‘Are you hurting at all?’
She shakes her head and then pulls a face, biting her
bottom lip. ‘Maybe a little.’ Her hand, however, still
reaches under the covers for me. I push my head back
into the pillow. Oh man.
Later on, as we lie there, willing the clock to slow down,
Jessa rolls onto her side to face me, resting on her elbow.
‘You wouldn’t have slept with me, would you?’ she
asks, ‘if I’d said I didn’t want to date you beyond these
four weeks?’
I shake my head at her. So she figured it out. ‘No,’ I say.
‘Why?’
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‘Because it wouldn’t have been fair to you,’ I say. ‘And
then, selfishly, I knew that if I slept with you, then for the
whole of the next year on post I would never have been
able to get you out of my mind. I’d have just relived it
over and over every second of every day. Which is what
I’m going to be doing now anyway.’ I laugh ruefully at
how much I’m going to replay this night. ‘But I would
have been picturing some other lucky guy getting to have
you, getting to come back to you every night. I didn’t
want that. It would have been torture. To know you, to
make love to you, and then lose you. I couldn’t do it.’
Jessa watches me for a few moments and I stare back
at her. Then she leans down, her hair tickling my face.
‘You’re never going to lose me,’ she murmurs against my
lips.
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Jessa
Over the next few days, Kit and I steal every chance we
get to make love. I can’t get enough of him and it seems
he feels the same way, because we pretty much work
through every position known to man. When I’m not
with him I can still feel him, the lingering echo of his
weight pushing into me, the imprint of him on my skin.
Butterflies skirmish in my stomach just thinking about
him. My mom makes more comments about how happy
I look and I think she’s fishing for info. Didi begs for
details, but I just grin and tell her it’s even better than
they make it look in the movies.
I even manage to ignore my dad’s moods. They bounce
off me as though I’m wearing a suit of armour. The only
thing that ever threatens to derail my happiness is when I
think about how little time we have left. We’re on the
downhill slope. There are just twelve days to go before he
ships out.
I’m counting them off on my calendar when Riley
sticks his head around my bedroom door.
‘Hey,’ he says, ‘Kit just called. It’s his dad’s birthday
today and they’re having a party for him around at his
cousin’s. He wants to know if we want to go.’
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For a moment I stare at Riley blankly. I knew it was
Kit’s dad’s birthday, but I didn’t know they were having a
party.
‘If you don’t feel like it, I can tell him you’re busy or
something. He said his dad wanted to invite you,
though.’
His dad wanted to or Kit wanted to? I have to hide my
smile from Riley.
‘So, you want to go or not?’ Riley asks, his fingers
drumming the door. ‘It’ll be fun. We can tell Mom we’re
going to the beach or something.’ He pauses. ‘You know,
we haven’t had much chance to hang out together since I
got back.’
He noticed? Or did Kit have a word with him and sug-
gest he spend more time with me? He gives me a hopeful
smile crossed with an apologetic shrug and so I say, ‘Sure.
Yeah, sounds good,’ trying to keep my voice and my face
neutral.
Riley looks pleased. ‘OK. Ready to go in thirty min-
utes?’
I nod. I’d planned to sneak out the house and see Kit
later this afternoon – but now I get to spend the whole
day with him, and the fact that it’s not in private is made
up for by the fact that I also get to hang out with Riley.
And any extra time I get to spend with both of them is a
bonus, given how quickly the days are tripping past.
I grab my phone to check the time. There’s a message
flashing. It’s from Kit. ‘Coming?’ is all it asks.
I don’t answer. I’m going to keep him hanging.
*
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Forty-five minutes later Jo, Riley and I rock up at Kit’s
cousin’s house on the other side of town. There are stream-
ers and balloons outside and music floating through the
open windows along with the delectable smell of grilling
meat.
The door’s wide open and inside it’s heaving. At first
I’m overwhelmed by the noise: music, chatter, shrieking
children, laughter. If you were to create an atmosphere
that was the polar opposite of my own birthday party,
then this would be it.
Kit’s family are boisterous and loud − and, it strikes me
as I look around the room, happy. This is what a family
should be like, I think to myself sadly. Riley catches my
eye as we walk through the room and I know from the
smile he gives me that the same thought is passing
through his mind. He puts his hand on my shoulder and
squeezes, and I wonder if I should just tell him about Kit
and me. If he could see how happy Kit’s making me, how
being with him gives me a chance to be part of a family
like this, then surely he’d be OK with it?
Next thing I know, though, I’m swept up by Kit’s sister
Tessa, who I haven’t seen for over a year, since the last
send-off for Kit and Riley. She’s a smaller, prettier version
of Kit, with the same deep dimples that suggest mischief,
and piercing blue eyes which light up the moment she
sees me. She links her arm through mine and drags me
towards the kitchen.
‘So, a little bird tells me that you and Kit are a thing,’
she whispers in a stage voice that could match Didi’s for
subtlety.
Alarmed, I glance over my shoulder, scared that the
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whole room just heard her announcement, but Riley and
Jo are busy chatting with some of Kit’s cousins, and
thankfully the music is so loud it seems to have drowned
her out.
‘It’s OK,’ she says, seeing my anxiety, ‘your secret is
safe with me.’ She winks at me and points through the
kitchen window at Kit who’s busy manning the grill. ‘I’ve