Authors: Mila Gray
phone in my face. I catch a glimpse of Jessa biting her
bottom lip as she poses for me in her underwear.
Grabbing for the phone, I wrestle it out of Riley’s hand.
‘We’re dating,’ I say.
He shakes his head at me. ‘What about that other girl?
The one you said you were into?’
‘That was her. It was Jessa all along. It’s only been her
this whole time.’ I want to say more, tell him that I love
her, that she loves me too, that the last three weeks have
been the best of my life, but the way Riley’s looking at
me, as if I just betrayed our friendship and knifed him in
the gut, makes me ram my mouth shut.
‘You’re my best friend. She’s my sister,’ he growls.
‘And?’ I shout. ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’
Riley looks like he wants to punch me and all I can think
is
bring it.
Anger blazes through me, lit by the unfairness
of Riley’s reaction. ‘Or is it that you still don’t think I’m
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good enough?’ I yell. He glares at me not saying any-
thing. ‘You know,’ I say, shaking my head, ‘you’re starting
to act and sound just like your father.’
‘Screw you,’ Riley says, a flare of anger mixed with
pain stretching across his face. I instantly regret the words
but I’m too angry to back down.
We scowl at each other for a long second, both of us
clenching our fists, both of us breathing hard.
‘Fuck,’ Riley finally says before sinking down onto the
edge of the bed and burying his head in his hands.
For a few moments I just watch him uncertainly. That
was not the reaction I was expecting. What’s going on? A
second ago he looked like he wanted to punch my lights
out and now he looks like he’s about to burst into tears.
I’m totally wrong-footed.
Riley looks up at me. ‘Jo’s pregnant,’ he says.
Coming straight out of left field like that in the middle
of a fight about his sister, it takes a second for the news
to sink in. When it does, I slump down beside him on the
bed. ‘Woah,’ I say. ‘That’s . . .’ I don’t finish the sentence
because I’ve no idea what he’s thinking about it –
whether he’s pleased or not. I’m guessing not from the
expression on his face, but don’t want to say the wrong
thing just in case.
‘I don’t know what the fuck to do,’ Riley says, look-
ing straight into my eyes, more terrified than I’ve ever
seen him, and seeing as I’ve watched him approaching
pos sible suicide bombers while on patrol, that’s saying
something.
‘What do you mean?’ I ask.
‘We’re leaving,’ he says. ‘In case you hadn’t noticed.
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We’re going to be gone for a year. To Afghanistan, of all
places. I won’t be here for the birth.’
‘So she’s keeping it?’ I ask.
He swallows, a scowl crossing his face. ‘I don’t know.
We haven’t really talked about it. She only just found out.
It must have been the day I got back. Or around then. Can
you believe it?’
I nod to myself, simultaneously thanking God Jessa
and I have always used protection and making a note to
myself to never, ever throw caution to the wind. ‘How’s
Jo doing?’ I ask.
Riley shrugs. ‘Not good. It wasn’t exactly planned, you
know?’
I nod some more. Poor Jo, like she doesn’t have enough
to deal with. Riley buries his head in his hands once more
and I put my arm around his shoulder. ‘Bro, I’m here for
you,’ I say. ‘I’m here for both of you. Whatever you need.’
After a moment Riley looks at me. ‘You ever wish
you’d never enlisted?’ he asks.
I nod. ‘Yeah, I’m thinking of getting out after this.’
His eyebrows shoot up. ‘Serious?’
I nod.
‘I always thought you were in it for life.’
‘Nah, things change.’
‘Does this have anything to do with my sister?’ he asks,
giving me an incredulous look.
‘Might do,’ I say.
He studies me for a second, his expression turning
from confused to amazed to serious. Finally he shakes his
head. ‘I’m sorry I lost my shit before. About you . . . and
her.’ He looks slightly uncomfortable still, as though he’s
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just eaten something disgusting at a dinner party and is
having to smile his way through it so as not to offend the
host.
‘It’s cool,’ I say. ‘I’m sorry I kept it a secret. Jessa didn’t
want you to know.’
Riley grimaces and looks at me sideways. ‘You really
like her?’ he asks, still with that sceptical tone in his voice.
I laugh. ‘Yeah. I really like her. A lot.’ I’m not going to
come out with the love word at this stage, not until I’m
totally sure he isn’t going to punch me.
Riley shakes his head wearily as though he’s had
enough surprises for one day and can’t process any more.
‘Fine,’ he says. ‘Just don’t screw her around.’ He fixes me
with a drill-sergeant stare. ‘Or I’ll hunt you down and rip
you into so many pieces they won’t be able to tell your
asshole from your earhole.’
‘I won’t,’ I say solemnly.
‘I mean it, Kit,’ he says with a touch of menace. ‘Treat
her right.’
‘I will.’
His face wrinkles in disgust. ‘And man, do you have to
have her bras and underwear lying around everywhere
and pictures of her naked on your phone? I don’t want to
know what you two are doing.’
‘You were the one that was asking for details, dude,’ I
say, laughing.
‘Before I knew it was my sister.’
We both lapse into silence, our thoughts shifting in
unison away from Jessa and returning to the far more
life-altering news about the pregnancy. Holy shit. I’m still
struggling to get my head around it. I can’t imagine how
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Riley is doing. He exhales loudly, running his hands over
his head. ‘Fuck,’ he says again. ‘This was not part of the
plan.’
‘Guess life likes to throw us some curveballs,’ I say
quietly.
‘You call a baby a curveball?’ he asks, looking at me in
disbelief. ‘Can you even imagine how I’m going to sit my
parents down and explain this one?’
I wince. I remember the time we had to sit them down
and explain we’d been suspended for streaking naked
across the bleachers. That was bad enough. And I remem-
ber the time Riley had to explain he’d enlisted as a grunt
not an officer. His dad went postal. Riley had to sleep on
my sofa for three nights until he calmed down.
‘Do you think you could tell him just before I tell him
I’m dating Jessa?’ I joke. ‘That way he might be too pissed
at you to care about us.’
Riley punches me in the arm and we both start
laughing.
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Jessa
Riley knocks on my bedroom door as I’m getting ready to
go out. As soon as I turn around and see him standing
there with both eyebrows raised and his arms crossed
over his chest, I know I’m busted. I don’t say anything,
though.
‘So,’ he says. ‘When were you going to tell me?’
My heart has started beating double time. ‘About
what?’ I ask, aiming for innocence because I want to be
certain he’s talking about what I think he’s talking about
and not something else.
‘You and Kit,’ he says.
Oh. Damn. ‘How did you find out?’ I ask, shooting a
glance over his shoulder. Are my parents around? Riley
seems to pick up on my nervousness because he steps
inside my room and shuts the door.
‘You know, if you’re going to record your sexcapades
Paris Hilton style then don’t go leaving phones lying
around.’
My jaw drops open. He saw the photos on Kit’s phone?
Oh my God. I want to die. My cheeks catch fire. I stare at
him in horror, but Riley just grins at me.
‘I . . . We . . . They were just . . . ’ I stammer.
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He holds up a hand. ‘Stop. I don’t want to know. I told
Kit the same.’
‘So . . .’ What? What is he saying? Is he mad? ‘Are you
OK with it?’
‘Not with the photos part or with the idea of you guys,
er, you know . . . ’ He wrinkles his nose in consternation.
‘But yeah . . . I’m cool with it, I guess.’ He looks at me.
‘How long’s it been going on?’
I shrug, not really wanting to admit it. ‘Since you got
back.’
Riley shakes his head. ‘Man. You know, Jo says she
knew all along, that it was obvious at the beach. I thought
he was into Didi.’
‘Yeah, that’s what we wanted you to think.’
He shakes his head at me some more. ‘What about
Mom and Dad? You going to tell them?’
‘No!’ I say. ‘Are you kidding?’
‘Yeah, I figured you’d say that.’ He stands there for a
few more seconds, chewing on his lip, nodding to him-
self.
I wonder if he’s going to tell me to tell Dad or warn me
off Kit, but he does neither. He just walks to the door,
pausing to look over his shoulder just before he opens it.
‘And . . . if you’re gonna . . . you know . . .’ He wrinkles
his nose looking pained.
My eyebrows lift. Is he talking about sex?
‘Make sure you use protection.’
I pick up the nearest object – a book – and throw it at
his head. He ducks, laughing, and darts out the door,
closing it behind him, and I stand there for a full minute
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staring at it, speechless, trying desperately to erase that
last comment from my brain.
Didi stands beside me as I wait outside her house for Kit.
He’s late.
‘And remember to stop at the stop signs, don’t just
pause,’ she says.
‘Got it,’ I answer distractedly as I stare down the street.
Where is he?
‘And if you get a guy examiner, totally flirt. It worked
for me. And pray you don’t get a woman. They’re way
meaner.’
I glance in Didi’s direction. ‘Stop making me panic.’
She grins brightly at me. ‘There’s nothing to worry
about. Everyone except complete morons passes first time.
And besides, you have Kit.’
‘What do you mean?’ I ask.
‘Well, you got that part, didn’t you, in the play? And
no one found out that you ditched school . . . and even
Riley was cool when he found out about you guys. Kit’s
like your good luck charm.’
Yeah, I suppose she’s right, I muse. Kit is something of
a good luck charm.
‘I’m telling you,’ she continues. ‘Kit’s like one of those
leprechauns from the Lucky Charms commercial.’
‘Well, he’s a late leprechaun who won’t be getting
lucky for the foreseeable future if he doesn’t show soon.’
‘Where is he?’ Didi asks.
‘He and Riley had their fitness test this morning.’ I look
again at my watch. ‘But he said he’d be here by now.’
‘He’s probably picking up five dozen roses or scatter-
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ing petals down the freeway to spell out your name.’ She
smirks at me. ‘Or maybe he ran home to bake you special
good luck cookies.’
‘Shuttup!’ I say, just as Kit’s truck appears around the
corner. ‘Oh, finally,’ I say, throwing up my arms. He tears
down the street and screeches to a halt right in front of
Didi’s house. Jumping out the truck he races around to
me.
‘Sorry, sorry!’ he pants.
He’s wearing his shorts and running shoes and a
sweat-stained, dirt-streaked T-shirt. His face looks pretty
much the same as his T-shirt. He kisses me on the cheek
and I smell his sweat and soap and deodorant – is it
weird that that turns me on and makes me think instantly
of sex?
‘You’re late,’ I say.
‘You’re gorgeous,’ he answers, taking my hand. ‘Come
on, we gotta go.’ He starts tugging me towards the truck,
waving at Didi. ‘Hi, Didi. Bye, Didi.’
Didi waves, her eyes slightly glazed as she admires his
sweaty form.
‘Aren’t I driving?’ I ask as Kit opens the passenger
door for me.
‘No. I’ll drive. You can’t get pulled over for speeding
on your way to your test. Wouldn’t look good.’ He slams
the door shut behind me and sprints around to his side.
‘So how’d it go?’ I ask as he pulls out of Didi’s street.
‘I crushed it. It was a piece of cake,’ he answers with a
lopsided grin. ‘Must be all the workouts I’m having.’
‘I hope you don’t slack off on the workouts now that
the test is behind you,’ I tell him.
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‘As if,’ he answers.
We both fall silent after that. He’s leaving the day after
tomorrow – that’s what I’m thinking. And I’m fairly sure