Confessions of a Backup Dancer (16 page)

We totally hit every routine perfectly, there were no screwups at ALL. the crowd was SO into it … they were
screaming so loud for so long that it was really hard to hear the music sometimes, even though I was wearing those little earphones that pop stars are always fiddling with (which basically just plays the same mix that's being piped through the stadium's sound system). I did the dive roll move in “Whenever” with no problems. I pulled off every single transition easily. the only hangup was when my bra strap on my third outfit (the one for “Plucky”) totally shredded backstage but luckily shaundree lent me hers at the last second. no one noticed.

I'm not sure if I ever really got THERE during the show, but I'm definitely sure I got pretty close a couple of times. I guess there was just too much going on for me to really let myself go.

but the exhilaration I got from the crowd was out of control. even though I knew the applause wasn't for me, specifically, it thrilled me. I was walking on air from the first beat and didn't stop until we'd finished both of our encores.

I finally got the hi fives I'd been looking for for weeks, from the Tinas, D-Run, and everyone else. we pulled it off, and we all knew it. I almost felt like I belonged. almost.

I headed back to darcy's hangout room and collapsed on the couch (she told me to go back there and she'd meet me in a few). I was exhilarated.

I was there only like two seconds when up on the closed-circuit tv (which had a live stream from the main stage) I saw Darcy come back onstage.

“Hold up everyone! Lordy what a show!” she yelled into the mike. “Don't leave yet! We've got one more song to sing, if y'all don't mind! Whattya think?” of course the whole place was like WOOOOOOH! I was like omiGOD am I supposed to be down there? did I forget a whole number that we're supposed to do?

or was this a real, bona fide encore?

then darcy goes, “Mama?” and omigod, darla walks out from backstage, carrying a MICROPHONE! I sank back into the couch, riveted and in semi-shock. darcy goes, “this is my beautiful mama, and we've got a new song we'd like to share with y'all.” darla and darcy sat down on stools, facing each other. then the guitarist (his name is rob but everyone calls him Throb) came out and sat on a stool behind them. and he started playing, acoustic, the sappiest, most R. Kelly-ish melody I've ever heard in my life.

Mama Knows Best

(© 2003 Darla Barnes, Darcy Barnes)

Darcy:

Mama don't you know
Doesn't matter how much I grow
Mama you always know best
Mama I may be
A woman now, just look at me
But Mama you still know best

Chorus

Mama knows best when I'm lonely
Mama knows best when I'm blue
Mama knows best cause I'm still her baby
Mama knows what's best for you
Mama knows best, oh yes, Mama knows best

Darla:

Baby, don't you know
No matter how far you go
Mama always knows best
There may come a day, someday
When you say Mama go away
But even then, Mama knows best

Chorus

Both:

Don't ever forget that I'm yo' mama
Nothing can tear us apart, no mama
Do everything your mama says
Forever, forever, for-EVVVVVVVVVVVER, Mama!

Chorus

(improvise to fadeout)

I'm totally going to vom.

as soon as the song ended, the stadium erupted. I guess all the moms there (which made up a good 25% of the audience, I mean, I guess they figured they couldn't let their third graders attend alone ha ha) really liked it. no duh, right? I mean, it's all about ignoring your own mind and just doing what your mother says.

and those kids scream at anything darcy says.

I was grossed out but only momentarily. I had a lot to think about. I mean, hello, it was my first show! and I didn't screw up! I pretty much rule!

anyway darcy came crashing into her hangout room right after the show. I figured I'd start squealing, just like that night in front of The Wizard of Oz, so I did.

I jumped up yelling, “awesome awesome you were amazing! we did it!” I went over to give her a hug.

and she practically pushed me off her. all snappy, “dude we JUST started. don't you get it? we have 60 more of these shows to go. you seriously need to grow up. let's get back to the hotel. I gotta crash.”

and I go, “well that last song was really beautiful” and she goes, “you think that was MY idea? no way. that song is going to kill this show. god, k.k. can't you shut up for one minute? fuck!”

so I did. I shut up. she was cussing. I knew something was wrong. Ugh Darcy Barnes sometimes you suck. I was just sitting there thinking man, can't I celebrate for like a minute? didn't I have a friend who looks just like you a few minutes ago? I just made it through my first stadium show ever and I didn't blow it. in fact I killed it! I even congratulated YOU. and I'm the one who needs to grow up?

I wish I'd had the guts to say it all out loud but we went all the way back to the hotel in silence. I realized I was starting to count on her to be my friend, whether our friendship was just a publicity stunt or not.

thank god for tito, at least HE had some love for me.

To:
kaykay4real

From:
Tito_T

Date:
Friday June 20

Time:
10:14
PM

Subject:
Killer

Who killed it? You killed it!

Tee toe

PS-Are you at all responsible for this.“Mama Knows Best” fiasco?

I guess he'd heard about it on MTV news—they were there covering the show. Apparently they referred to it as the low point. anyway he also paged me like fourteen times:

U ROK! WORSHIP U! >3>3>3

and
KELS DA MAN!!!

and
MISS U DIVA

and
T-To LUVS U

etc. etc. etc.

he rules.

SATURDAY JUNE 22

GRANDE ALL-SUITES HOTEL

KANSAS CITY, 11:36
P
M

Outfit:
terry robe.

Hair:
sweaty and disgusting. I gotta take a bath.

Fortune:
The road is shorter than you think.

tonight's show was even better than last night's but that is SO beside the point. The real news is that after the show, I was leaving the stadium with darcy and jesse and rashid. rashid was telling us this story about how darla fired latrell the makeup artist after the show tonight because she thought he had said something rude about her skin tone and now eileen was going to have to find someone by, like, tomorrow when the show was going to be in another city and what if they sucked and blah blah blah. anyway on our way out the back door to the car that was waiting to take us back to the hotel there was this one news guy with a camera pointed straight at us. and then this reporter pops out from behind him and sticks a mike into darcy's face and goes, “So, how long have you and Jesse Nixon been an item!”

we all stood there staring at this guy for a second and before I knew what was happening darcy just goes, “We are NOT an item! Lordy! We are just really great friends. I am so sure! right Jesse?” and he was like “yeah” then she grabs my shoulder and pushes me in front of her over next to jesse and goes, “Jesse is so not my boyfriend. He's dating my very
bestest ever friend K.K. here! Oh my Lordy! Aren't they just the cutest? Awww. Now can you leave us all alone?”

the reporter and camera dude kind of shrank back into the shadows.

Then she broke out her cell phone. “Hey, Eileen? How were the revenues tonight? What are our totals?”

I was like, wait, what? I'm dating
WHO?
?

I looked over at Jesse, who just licked his lips and smiled at me. I realized that my fantasy was coming true: I was finally dating Jesse Nixon, just as I'd dreamed of a million times before and it was precisely NOT what I wanted. he took the opportunity to put his arm around my waist. ugh.

darcy made me ride on her bus last night all the way to Kansas City. she said she wanted to hang out with jesse and k.k., her two best friends, but it soon became pretty clear that I was her cover … she wanted to be with jesse, and I was just around to keep people from asking questions.

I got no sleep and I pretty much confirmed in every way but visually that jesse and darcy are way, WAY more than friends. her little cabin on the bus has a door, and it closes. she and jesse were behind it all night.

I'm no expert and I'm sure I could be wrong but, well, let's just say I heard things. if I didn't know better I'd say there's no way that anyone in that cabin was a virgin. But she says she's a virgin so that's pretty much that.

Oh man, I need tito. this is all way too ill for one person.

SATURDAY JUNE 22

GRANDE ALL-SUITES HOTEL

KANSAS CITY, 11:55
PM

I'm nauseous. I was just watching jesse on a “total dedication show.” he closed by saying he'd like to do his own dedication. and he introduced Darcy's new single by saying “this one's for you, K.K.” here's the song.

View from the Top

(© 2003 Darcy Barnes Music)

Boy you know it's true
When I'm all over you
Ain't nothing you can do
Just keep on doin' what you do (Do it!)
Cause the view
From the top
Makes me pop
(Oooh yeah)
When I'm on top boy
You bring me so much joy
It makes me want to scream
Makes everything a dream
Cause the view
From the top
Makes me pop
(Oooh yeah)
[Bridge]
Don't try to hide
Just come inside
Baby you know you got it like that
Cause the view
From the top
Makes me pop
(Oooh yeah)
Cause the view
From the top
Makes me pop
(Oooh yeah)

(Repeat three times to fadeout)

I was like EW. I cannot believe he just dedicated that song to me in front of the whole planet.

SUNDAY JUNE 23

GRANDE ALL-SUITES HOTEL

KANSAS CITY, 2:01
PM

Fortune:
Who do you think you are?

To:
kaykay4real

From:
Tito_T

Date:
Sunday June 23

Time:
1:11
AM

Subject:
You're (in) famous

What's THIS about?? I found it online.

BAD NEWS AGAIN, GIRLS

Seems Darcy “Plucky” Barnes and Jesse “VJ du Jour” Nixon are off again for the moment, but the reason is rather shocking. Seems Jesse's been swapping spit with one of Darcy's backup dancers, one K.K. Kimball, a newish dancer straight outta San Diego. (Which is about all we know about her.) But wait, there's more. Sources say Darcy's the one who introduced the new duo, and she's even been quoted as saying she thinks they look “adorable” together. Yep, a local news reporter from St. Louis WWQW-TV caught Darcy on camera gushing over the couple, saying, “Aren't they just the cutest?” So what gives? We're wondering if the Darce-meister is clearing the way for a new romance. Or maybe Jesse's been pressing her to reconsider her virgin
status? You know we'll keep you posted … After all, Jesse Nixon's relationship status is do-or-die news for us, too!