Conflicted (The Existing Series Book 2) (7 page)

Magdalena took the lead and walked us over to the far end of the sandwich shop. We all sat down, Andrew putting Liam in his lap, and got our food situated. Hopefully, this outing wouldn’t continue to have an awkwardness looming in the background. Once she told me why she was here, I’d feel much better about the situation. I liked to plan things. Know the outcome before it actually happened. I’d always been the need to know kind of guy. And right now I needed to know what in the world they wanted to come of this.

After she’d cut up Liam’s sandwich into smaller squares, she sat his plate in front of Andrew so that he could eat. They both took a bite of their sandwich, but I couldn’t eat just yet. My stomach was in knots just thinking about what they’d say.

Magdalena picked up the napkin and wiped her mouth then took a sip of her tea before she looked up at me.

“How long of a lunch break do you get?” she asked. Not exactly what I expected her to lead with.

“An hour,” I replied as I picked up my glass of tea just to have something to do with my trembling hands.

She shook her head and took another bite but said nothing, causing my nerves to skyrocket. I wasn’t this person. I never felt this way until recently. Until one woman made me question everything within my life. Until I’d woken up one day and wished I could return to my dream. Because in that place, I’d already dealt with all of this grief. All of this pain. Only now, I had to face it head on. Actually dredge through the heartache to come out on the other side. Forge my own path. Make my own decisions on how to get there. And this time, I’d have to do it without having the focus of the green-eyed girl sitting before me.

“How did you feel when you woke up?” she asked. A question I wasn’t expecting. I thought I’d at least get some basics out of the way first, but she’d decided to go with the direct approach. I didn’t know whether to be thankful or not. I attempted to swallow, but my throat felt tight at what I’d have to reveal. If I chose to tell the truth that is. No one said I had to be that upfront about what I’d experienced. That was personal. A feeling that I didn’t know if her husband would appreciate or not.

I thought it over and decided that telling the truth should always be the way to go.

“Honestly, I woke up and thought I was still back at my dad’s ranch. Only when I truly took in my surroundings did I realize that wasn’t the case. My immediate thought was for Grace, so I ran to her room without thinking and made sure she was safe and sound. Once I’d calmed my racing heart and eased the worry that I’d caused myself, I started to question why I was back at a place I was sure I’d left. I took in everything about the apartment and went back to my room only to be more confused than ever when I saw the person that I thought left our lives for good. I felt crazy so I picked up my phone and checked the date. Instead of feeling relieved, my head started to hurt with all of the questions that I had. That’s the reason you saw me at Dr. Harold’s office that day. How about you?” I confessed in one long breath. Only when I’d stopped talking did I allow more air into my depleted lungs.

“Done, Daddy,” Liam announced, gaining all of our attention. He’d pushed his plate back onto the table and twisted his body so that he could lay his head back on his father’s shoulder. Andrew wrapped his arm around Liam to comfort him as he picked up his sandwich with the other. Seeing this type of affection between a father and child made me long to hold Grace in my arms. I knew she was safe with my parents’, but I didn’t want her to feel like I’d abandoned her, too.

“I felt confused. Scared out of my mind actually. I thought I’d gone crazy seeing Andrew crouched down in front of me. It took me running up the stairs and seeing Liam for it to all feel somewhat real. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel like I’m awake. I have to keep reminding myself that it was all a dream. That I didn’t bury them. That they didn’t die. Sorry if that’s morbid, but that’s how I tell myself that it’s all fake. You have a daughter, right?”

“I do. Her name is...,” before I finished she completed the sentence for me.

“Grace,” she whispered, causing Andrew to turn his head and look over at her.

“That’s correct,” I confirmed.

“It’s crazy that you two actually remember and know these details about one another. Creepy even,” Andrew laughed between bites of his sandwich and fries.

“You don’t have to tell me,” I agreed and shook my head as I finally took the first bite of my sandwich. My stomach finally felt like it wouldn’t expel the food that was put in it, and I felt safe enough to attempt eating.

“So if that’s correct, does that mean that Mackenzie actually left you?” Magdalena bluntly asked.

“Mags, that’s a little personal don’t you think?” Andrew warned, his voice going deeper to express the seriousness behind his statement. Immediately she looked down are her sandwich and began pulling the crust off the remaining half.

The mere mention of that nickname caused me to flinch as a memory of the dream surfaced with her reaction to me calling her the exact same thing on a stormy night.

“I’m sorry. My brain hasn’t yet received the memo that we don’t actually know each other. I’m just trying to understand the situation and how much was real within the dream,” she replied without looking up from her plate.

“No, it’s okay. I was just shocked at how blunt you were. That’s not the person I remember. You were timid in the dream. Reluctant to even talk unless it was coached out of you. That was another odd part of the dream. I figured that if it was a dream, she’d deny her intentions of leaving and we’d go on about our business. I’d chalk it up to an intense dreamlike stated and forget it had ever occurred. Only when I blatantly asked her if she was going to leave, she looked guilty and didn’t deny it. In the dream, I came home to her gone. No explanation. No forwarding address. Nada. At least this time I got to tell her to leave and know she was doing it,” I revealed and picked up my sandwich to take another bite.

“I’m so sorry that part of the dream came true. I hoped that it hadn’t after hearing all the other details that were correct. Is this weird for you? Seeing us and having this crazy conversation? It is, and it isn’t for me. I don’t know how to explain it. I feel connected to you for some reason. Like we were supposed to meet and be a part of each other’s lives. I’m sorry if that makes me sound like I should be committed, but it’s the truth.”

Before I even thought about answering, I took in her revelation and contemplated turning it down. Only when I looked over at Andrew, he didn’t react to what she’d said with malice or anger. He seemed genuinely happy and content. That was the only reason I even considered revealing my answer. I didn’t need him to knock me on my rear end for telling him how I felt about his wife. Even if the feelings were strictly of the friend variety.

I finished the piece of sandwich I had in my hand and took a sip of tea while trying to get my thoughts together on how I’d respond.

With one final swig of tea, I took a deep breath. There wasn’t any reason to be nervous, but I was. I didn’t know these people. Not really. Yet, I’d felt like I’d known them my whole life. It gave an entirely new meaning to knowing someone you just met.

“I know this is going to sound crazy. But when I woke up and realized that none of it had happened, I felt like I lost something vital to me. Very meaningful to my daughter,” I started, but before I continued, I turned toward Andrew and looked him dead in his eyes so he knew that I meant the next words with every fiber of my being.

“I don’t know how much she told you, but in this dream, my daughter grew attached to Magdalena. Only the oddest part was that she took forever to warm up to someone she didn’t already know typically. However, the second she ‘met’ Magdalena all bets were off. That’s why I felt like I’d lost my best friend. I’d grown to care for her. Only in a friendship sort of way, I swear. But when I woke up and none of it had happened, I not only felt the loss for me, but for Grace,” I confessed, and hoped like hell he didn’t hit me when what I’d revealed sunk in. I also prayed that he understood that everything had been platonic and friendly.

“So, you’re telling me that nothing ever occurred in this dream that shouldn’t have?” Andrew questioned.

My immediate response was that it hadn’t, only he didn’t appear to be convinced.

“Are you sure that’s your final answer?”

“Do you know something I don’t?” I countered, hoping like hell he explained himself so I could stop sweating the bullets that were now forming.

“So you mean to tell me that you never woke up in said dream to my wife’s shirt unbuttoned and revealing certain parts of herself that should’ve been covered?” The serious look in his eyes made me question if he’d sat there quietly all along just waiting for his moment to get the question out.

Only I couldn’t respond. I knew the answer, but I didn’t want to confess the truth. Even though Magdalena had already told him, it seemed wrong to discuss that private moment when nothing happened. Not in that way, at least.

My mouth opened and shut several times before I just nodded my head. No good excuse came to mind to get me out of the awkward situation he’d brought to light.

Only when I looked down embarrassed did he reveal his true intention.

Laughter escaped him in waves. When I looked up, he had his fist in his mouth as he attempted to contain the bouts that were trying to escape. I was confident that if Liam hadn’t been in his lap asleep that he would’ve let it all out.

“I’m kidding, Weston. I needed to get rid of all the seriousness that was in the air. I’m sorry if that was wrong of me, but I got the impression that you didn’t know how to perceive my reactions to this situation. Do I understand it? No. To an outsider, we’d all sound crazy. But I accept it. The way the doctor explained helped, but I’ve never experienced that sort of phenomenon so I can’t begin to understand the intensity or confusion of it all. Just know that I’m not going to bite your head off at what did but didn’t occur. We’ve talked about it in grave detail and while it’s hard to hear that someone other than myself got my wife to see that some fortune teller can’t predict the future, I’m glad someone finally did. I’m glad someone got her to see that she can live without fear. Even if that someone wasn’t meant to be me. I’m not the jealous type. I never have been. I’m the accepting kind,” he confessed as he reached over and grabbed his wife’s hand and intertwined his fingers with her own.

I wish I had that type of connection with someone. I thought I’d had just that, but was proven wrong by the one person I thought would never betray me.

“I don’t know what y’all expect from me here? I’m more confused than ever. It was nice having this chat and all, but what’s supposed to come from it?” I asked, unable to hide what I’d really wanted to know a moment longer.

Magdalena and Andrew each shared knowing glances back and forth leaving me hanging in the dark a lot longer than I’d liked to have.

She let out a sigh and exclaimed that she’d like to be friends and a part of each other’s lives. Someone I’d only physically laid eyes on twice before now wanted to be in my life. All because our subconscious minds were apparently linked. How crazy is that? I swear my life felt like a soap opera with no normalcy in sight.

“This is all just so insane. How would we explain this to the outside world?” I asked, stalling on purpose. I couldn’t care less what other’s thought. But they might and that had to be taken into consideration. I couldn’t do this just for my benefit. We all had to agree. Be a unified front.

“We tell them we met while you changed my tire. You know the truth does wonders,” she sarcastically stated as she tried to hold in a laugh.

“I know that, but what about the rest?” I questioned. I didn’t know if I could explain this to anyone other than my parents’ without being ridiculed for letting some strange person around my child.

“The rest is for us to know and discuss. We don’t have to share that information unless we want to. No one has to know,” she reassured me.

And for the first time in the past few days, I felt like something was finally going right. It would be awkward at first, but we’d get over that. I just had to come to grips that I everything I knew was true from our dream. That for once, I could skip the blah blah tactics at starting a friendship because apparently I already knew those things. To hell with it. We all forge our own path. We all make our own destinies. Who’s to say my normal is anyone else’s normal? What’s the true definition of normal anyway?

“To a new friendship,” I toasted as I lifted the only beverage I had.

They both followed suit and clinked their glasses with mine. All of us took sips to solidify our new found friendship.

It finally dawned on me that I actually had somewhere I was supposed to be. Work still called my name for the next few hours and I didn’t want to go, but it was a part of being an adult. I pulled my phone from my coverall pocket and pressed the side button to illuminate the screen. Shockingly, I still had five minutes left before I was due back.

Out of nowhere a hand swooped up my phone and a giggle soon followed. I looked up and Magdalena had a mischievous grin on her face as she tried to get into my phone.

“There’s a passcode required,” I grinned as I stated what she apparently already knew.

“Well, put it in so I can add my number,” she playfully demanded as she held the phone out for me to take.

I took it back and unlocked the phone, only I didn’t hand it back to her. I went to the proper screen to add the contact and put in her name and peered up at her waiting to see if she’d tell me the information. She tapped her foot on the ground and rolled her eyes, but she finally gave into telling me her number.

“It’s 804-432-0721,” she revealed with a huff of air.

“Now was that so hard,” I teased as I hit save and called her phone. The ringtone sounded and then I ended the call. “Now you have my number, too.”

“Call me sometime. We can get the kids together for playdates,” she suggested as she started to gather the trash.

“I’ll do just that. It might be a bit since we’re moving, but I’ll call you after we get settled. It was nice meeting you, Andrew. Thanks for understanding all of this madness,” I stated as I held out my hand for him to shake.