Conflicted (The Existing Series Book 2) (11 page)

They knew this land like the back of their hand. They should be okay. But something just didn’t sit right with me. Something told me to try and stop them, but I’d already tried that. They were stubborn as the day was long. Nothing would stop them at this point. Not now that they’d gotten this cockamamie plan into their heads.

The engines of the four wheelers roared to life and moments later the bay doors opened. When they reached the top, both came barreling out, just like we’d done thousands of times growing up. They both laughed as they headed toward the empty field. As long as they didn’t go too far, they’d be okay. About a half a mile into the field, there was a barbed wire fence that we all knew about. They’d surely know well enough to turn around before they got that far.

Me, Delaney, and the other five guys stood and watched as Davis and Trent swerved back and forth at each other, getting farther and farther away from the bonfire. Too close to the fence for my comfort.

“Y’all need to turn around. The fence is up ahead,” I yelled through the cupped hands around my mouth, hoping to make my voice carry that far ahead.

Davis slowed down but Trenton didn’t. He was too busy looking behind him to see it.

“TRENT,” I screamed as I started running toward him, causing everyone to follow my lead. My voice echoed throughout the air, but it was too late. When he turned back around he was too close to the fence to stop. The four-wheeler hit it full force. The sound of metal hitting echoed through the air followed by a gut-wrenching scream, then a thud hitting the ground.

Davis turned the four-wheeler around and headed toward Trent’s unmoving body. He was off and by his side in seconds, screaming for him to wake up as he checked him over.

Delaney kept up and stayed beside me the entire time. Only when we were close to the fence, I pulled her back. She didn’t need to see and have this horrible image of Trent in her mind. Especially if it were her last.

“NO, Weston. Let me go,” she screamed as she tried to break free. Only I held her tighter. Knowing this was the best thing for her.

“You don’t need to see him like this. Let me go over there and check him out. I’m CPR certified. Call an ambulance and go stand with Miller,” I said gesturing Miller over to my side.

“Don’t let her go no matter what,” I demanded, not caring for one second if she liked what she heard or not.

She pulled the phone out of her pocket with shaking hands and put it up to her ear. Then and only then did I walk over and access the situation. I climbed over the mangled fence and walked over to where Trenton’s lifeless body laid. Davis was pounding on his chest with no luck as he performed CPR.

“Come on, Trent. Come back to us,” Davis demanded as he stopped compressions and blew a breath into his mouth, only to presume compressions again.

Trenton’s body laid at an odd angle, his leg completely behind him and his neck off to the side. A tree branch came up through is side, the blood gushing from the wound. Without even thinking, I pulled off my hoodie and rushed over to his side to put pressure on the wound.

“Delaney’s with Miller calling an ambulance,” I reassured him, only he didn’t hear me. His complete focus was on our unmoving brother.

Minutes felt like hours as I prayed for help to arrive and save the friend and brother I knew was already gone. Sirens blared in the distance promising hope. Only I knew there wasn’t any. CPR should’ve worked by now, and if it did at this point, he’d most likely be brain dead. I couldn’t remove my hand from putting pressure on his wound, just like Davis couldn’t stop the tireless effort of the compressions that he continued.

“Let me go see him,” Delaney demanded. Her voice filled with determination and fear of the unknown. I trusted that Miller would do as he promised and keep her away. I only needed a few more seconds and then I could go to her and stop her from seeing him. She didn’t need to see this version of him. She needed to remember the laughter, not the mangled body that laid before me. I’d never get this image of him out of my head, nor would I get over the guilt that I should’ve done more to stop the race.

The sirens grew closer and stopped, the reds and blues brightened the field. I moved to the front of Trenton’s body to shield Delaney from seeing him. Not moving until the paramedics tapped my shoulder.

“He flipped over the fence. I’ve performed CPR since, but he hasn’t responded. There’s a tree branch going through his side causing him to bleed out profusely,” Davis choked out between the sobs he attempted but failed to keep in. He broke down right in front of him as he stopped pushing on Trent’s chest. Pain crossed his face as he moved back and removed his hands. He stood and looked down at Trent one last time and rushed off to be with the others. Instantly causing me to wish I could be with him.

“We’ve got it from here,” the paramedic said as more sirens blared in the distance. I looked up and saw the fire truck coming up the drive. Leaning down, I whispered that he needed to fight. But I also whispered my promise to my brother in his ear. A vow to look after the woman he loved if he didn’t make it. I just didn’t want to picture a life without him. We didn’t see each other often, but technology made it possible to see him when he couldn’t physically be here.

I got up and wiped my blood-stained hands on my pants, not caring about ruining the garments. Only wanting to make the blood disappear before I got to Delaney.

I stepped over the fence, the metal crunching beneath me. Delaney was within Miller’s grasp. She heard the noise somehow through the commotion. The second she saw me her hands flew to her mouth, her head shaking incessantly back and forth.

“No, no, no,” she screamed as she continued to shake her head, the sob wrenching out of her body immediately.

She knew.

I didn’t even have to tell her.

The look on my face said it all. I held my head high even though I just wanted to hang it in defeat and grieve for a man that I loved and respected.

When I reached her, I pulled her from Miller’s grasp and nodded my head in thanks. I needed to get her out of here.

Her hands instantly went around my neck and her body went limp in my arms. I leaned down and put my arm under her legs to carry her over to my truck. Sobs wretched from her body, and she took in the reality of what just occurred. It hadn’t been confirmed yet, but my silence confirmed what she suspected.

The man she loved was gone.

S
he clung
to me for dear life. Her grip getting tighter and tighter with each step I took. I adjusted my hold on her body and the sobs that she’d held silent until now grew louder. She turned her head into my shoulder to muffle the sound as her body continued to tremble. My shirt became wet from the tears that flowed from her body. I couldn’t believe the freak accident that just occurred. My mind moved at a thousand miles per hour in an attempt to try and process the events that I’d witnessed. Logically, I knew that he was gone, but I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he wouldn’t light up this world with his presence anymore. Someone like him deserved to live a long and full life, not have it snatched away from him so quickly.

I juggled her body somehow and managed to open the passenger door to my truck with just three fingers. I tried to sit her down on the seat, but she pulled me tight against her.

“Delaney, I need you to let go so I can drive the truck,” I whispered, hoping she could hear me.

All that I was met with were harder sobs and a tighter grip around my neck. I kneeled down to let some pressure off of my back and attempted again to break free from her grasp.

“Please,” she pleaded as she pulled me back. Her voice cracked and it pulled at my heart knowing the amount of shock and pain she was experiencing. I didn’t know how I’d get us out of here at this pace, but she didn’t need to be here and I couldn’t manage to walk back over to where he laid on the ground to see him that way. If the paramedics managed to save him, and that was a big if, I didn’t want to watch in anticipation for it to happen.

I grasped her wrists firmly and pulled back quickly so that I’d catch her off guard and moved both into one hand. I gripped her chin and lifted so that I could gain her attention and hopefully break through to her long enough to get her to comprehend my plan.

Slowly, her eyes went from looking at the floor of the truck to mine, pain etched in their depths.

“You don’t need to be here right now. I know you need someone to cling to and I’ll be that person, but I need to get us back to my house first. You can sit beside me if you need to be close. I don’t live far, okay?” I explained as I searched her eyes for the understanding I needed to see in order to leave this dreadful nightmare.

She didn’t speak, just gave a slight nod of her head as she turned and put her legs into the truck. She pulled them onto the seat and wrapped her arms around them. I shut the door and ran to the driver’s side door as fast as I could so I could get us out of here. I heard my name off in the distance just as I was about to open the door. I turned back and saw Miller running toward the truck.

He reached me completely out of breath moments later. Bending over, he put his hands on his knees and attempted to catch his breath.

“What’s up? I want to get her out of here. She’s going to break any minute. I can feel it,” I explained hoping to get my point across.

“The cops are on their way. What do you want me to tell them?” he asked.

I pulled my card out of my wallet and handed it to him.

“Give this to the officer in charge. Just explain to them that I had to get his girlfriend out of here because she was hysterical. I know it’s against protocol, but I can’t keep her here. She’ll keep trying to go over there to him. Tell them where I live and that we’ll both be there for questioning. I need to leave before she tries to get out of the truck. I’m shocked she hasn’t already,” I explained as fast as I could.

I didn’t care if they arrested me for leaving the scene of an accident. I wasn’t running and neither was she.

“Thanks for keeping her back by the way. I hope she didn’t hurt you too bad,” I said as I turned and walked back to my truck door.

“No problem,” I heard him say, but I was too focused on getting her back to my place to even care.

I jerked the door open and hopped in the truck, slamming the door harder than I’d intended. I risked a glance over at Delaney and her fragile form was curled into a ball leaning up against the door of the truck. Tears streamed down her face, but she didn’t bother wiping them away. She just rocked back and forth while staring out the window. Her face expressionless.

I started the truck and put it in drive. Slowly, I maneuvered over the bumps in the field. The sound of her head hitting the glass echoed throughout the truck. I looked over and she didn’t seem fazed. It’s like she didn’t even feel the pain I’m sure that happened with each hit to the window.

Moments later, I stopped in the driveway of Davis’ parents’ house and put the truck in park. I couldn’t stand to see her so broken and sitting over there. It broke my heart just imagining what thoughts went through her mind.

“Come here, Delaney,” I said as I touched her leg to try and break her out of her trance without scaring her. I put my arm on the back of the seat to give her a place to rest her head if she wanted to. Without making a sound, she scooted over until her head rested in the crook of my shoulder. I put my arm around her and lightly squeezed as she burrowed her head into my shoulder.

“It’s going to be okay,” I tried to reassure her, but I didn’t believe my own words. The only way it’d be fine was if Trent miraculously came back to us all.

I put the truck back in drive and drove off in the direction of my parents’ house.

Five minutes later, I’d driven down the mountain and pulled into the driveway. I slowly came to a stop after I drove up the hill to their house. With my left arm, I reached over and put the truck in park and shut off the engine. I rested my head against the headrest and shut my eyes, taking a deep breath in. The moment my eyes closed, the replay of what had happened tonight flashed to the forefront of my mind. Instantly, I jerked up from the position I sat in and looked around. I never wanted to see that picture again. The way he laid on the ground unmoving. The scream that echoed into the night as he flew forward into the air. I’d never forget that sight as long as I lived.

My movements caused Delaney to groan and slam back into the seat. I’d forgotten she was even in my arms to begin with. I turned in the seat to face her. Her hair now in her face, but she’d yet to move it out of the way. She looked like a zombie with the way she sat there just staring off into space. Her eyes never blinking. Her expression never changing.

“Delaney, we’re at my parents’ house. Can you walk inside?” I asked, not knowing if she’d have the strength or even be aware of what I had said.

She shook her head and scooted toward me. I took her actions as my cue to get out of the truck. After grabbing my keys from the ignition, I opened the door and hopped down, turning around just in time to grab her hand and help her climb down.

Without letting go of her hand, I walked us around the back of the house so that we could enter through the basement. There was no need to wake up my parents’ by coming through the house. I was sure Delaney didn’t want to interact with anyone new, and I needed some time before I told my mom what had happened tonight.

Using the key, I opened the door and walked us inside, turning on the light as I entered so we didn’t trip over any furniture.

“There’s a bathroom over to the right if you need to use it. I’m going to grab some blankets and pillows and get the pullout bed ready. Will you be okay until I’m done?” I asked as I rubbed my thumb back and forth over her hand.

She nodded her head yes and looked to the floor. Her hand slowly crept up to her face as she tried to hide the fact that she was wiping more tears from her face.

Reluctantly, I walked over to the stairs and took off my boots so that I could climb them as quiet as possible. With each step I took, I prayed that they didn’t creak and wake up my mom. She heard every noise on most nights.

First stop I made was to the bathroom. I had to wash my hands before I touched anything else. The blood had already dried to my skin, but I couldn’t contain my emotions knowing that part of him still lingered on me. I shut the door and turned on the hot water and scrubbed like my life depended on it. After a few minutes, I added soap to my hands and continued scrubbing, my skin almost raw with the harshness of my movements. The water scalded my skin, but I welcomed the pain. It gave me something else to focus on. I couldn’t break down now. Not when she needed me to hold her together. I rinsed off my hands and wiped them on a towel. After taking two deep breaths, I opened the door and went to grab what we’d need for the night.

I made it to the closet without incident and grabbed clean sheets and two blankets. I walked over to my room and sat the blankets on the bed. Quickly I changed into a pair of basketball shorts and put on a clean t-shirt. I grabbed some sweats and a shirt for Delaney and the blankets and walked back in the direction of the basement.

Delaney was sitting on the edge of the couch, her gaze locked on the phone in front of her. I didn’t want to interrupt the private moment, so I stood there and watched her. She just stared down at the screen, the tears never stopping as they continued to stream down her face.

Quietly, I sat everything down on the chair in the corner and walked over to the bathroom. I grabbed a washcloth from under the sink and wet it with warm water. After squeezing out the excess water, I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen.

When I entered the room, she was still in the same position. Still staring down at the screen. Every so often she’d squeeze the side to light it back up. Whatever she stared at didn’t appear to calm her, it seemed to make her more emotional.

“Hey. I got you some meds to try to prevent a headache in the morning and a warm cloth for your eyes. There’s also some sweats and a t-shirt on top of the blankets in the chair so you don’t have to sleep in your clothes,” I explained, not moving too close to her in case she needed a moment to herself.

“Did tonight actually happen?” she asked, her gaze never wavering from the screen of her phone.

“I’m afraid it did,” I admitted, not wanting to accept the accident, but needing to tell her the truth.

“I don’t understand the why of it all? He made it back from Afghanistan for Christ’s sake. Why take him from the world now?” she said, her tone growing louder with each word she spoke.

“I can’t answer that. But you’ll drive yourself crazy with those questions. We’ll never understand all that we’re going to question ourselves with.”

“He was so happy to come home and see everyone. You guys were all he talked about for the month leading up to his discharge. He always talked about you guys while he was away, too. So much so that I felt like I knew you all before I even got here. I just can’t believe he’s not here right now making jokes.”

I couldn’t respond to that. It sounded so much like Trent. To boast about everyone in his life.

She stood and walked over to the chair and grabbed the clothes that sat on top.

“I’m going to go change,” she whispered, then walked over to the bathroom door, shutting it behind her after she stepped inside.

Five minutes passed, and she was still inside. I wanted to walk over and ask if she was okay but decided against it. Instead, I pulled the coffee table out of the way and readied the pullout bed for when she returned.

Another five minutes passed and I grew worried. Just when I was about to go and check on her, she exited the room. She held her hands in front of her, wringing them within her grasp as she walked over to the couch.

“Thank you for getting me the clothes and letting me stay. I don’t want to impose, but I don’t have anywhere else to go. We were staying with his brother, and I wouldn’t feel right going back there without him. Hell, I don’t feel right being here without him,” she muttered.

“You’re welcome. I’m happy to help. You don’t need to feel bad. I wouldn’t have left you alone to figure it out by yourself. I’m not wired that way. My mom would beat my ass if she found out I did something like that,” I attempted to joke, but neither of us even broke a smile at my comment.

“I just don’t know where I go from here. My mind hurts just thinking about it. My heart hurts even more thinking of a world without him in it. Have you heard from Miller or Davis? I feel horrible for leaving there, but you were right to have me leave. I couldn’t handle being there,” she admitted. I couldn’t blame her.

I reached into the pocket of my basketball shorts and pulled out my phone to check for any missed messages. There were four. Two from Miller and two from Davis. Both confirmed what I knew the moment I stood up from his side.

He was gone.

The paramedics did everything they could to bring him back, but couldn’t.

Trenton Quinn had died, and I’d always blame myself for not stopping them when I knew I should’ve.

I shook my head to try and contain the tears that threatened to fall. She didn’t need to see them.

“He’s gone,” I choked out and looked to the ground. My emotions were crumbling the more it sunk in. I needed to leave, but I couldn’t move. My mind was going into shock.

She began to sob as she sat down beside me. Her movements brought me out of my own emotional turmoil enough because she needed to be comforted. She needed me to hold it together so I could help her. I promised him I would, and I wouldn’t break it this soon after making it.

“Come here,” I coaxed as I pulled her close to me. Only she didn’t budge. She remained still and wouldn’t allow me to comfort her.

“I need to lay down and go to sleep. I can’t handle this pain. It hurts so damn bad,” she sobbed as she slid back on the bed and laid her head down on the pillow. She rolled over onto her side and clung to the pillow as if it were her lifeline. As if it would console her.

“I’m going be right over here sleeping in the chair if you need me,” I told her as I stood from the couch. I didn’t want to leave her like that, but I wouldn’t force her to accept my comfort.

With no response, I walked over to the chair and grabbed the blanket, shaking it out so I could cover up. I sat down in the chair and covered up, laying my head back and shutting my eyes. Hoping like hell sleep came without the nightmares of what occurred mere hours before.