Authors: Bec Botefuhr
“Jagger?”
“Here baby.”
“That was…”
“Not as good as you, but still fuckin’ amazin’.”
I swallow, feeling a sudden urge to cry. I blink it away. We had a wonderful moment, but I am aching for him. I’m aching for him so much it hurts.
“Willow baby?”
I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Instead the wall breaks and tears fall down my cheeks.
God dammit. Why now?
“Baby?
Talk to me. Are you ok?”
“I…”
“Aw shit, don’t cry. It’ll get easier.”
“I want you here!” I cry loudly. “I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t function. I need you
Jagger, I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
“I know, god, I know but I can’t be there.”
“It shouldn’t be like this,” I scream.
“Willow, come on.”
“Please, come to me. Just one night.”
“I can’t baby.”
“Jagger please…”
He’s silent and I’m pleading like a small child.
“Willow, fuck, I have to go. I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”
“NO!” I scream. “Jagger, don’t go!”
The phone line goes dead and I scream loudly. I roll to my side and I wail like a mad woman until there’s nothing left. I hear my door open about ten minutes later and I open my blurry eyes to see Angel sitting by the bed, staring down at me.
“He called me, told me what happened.”
“I want him here,” I hiccup.
“I know kid.”
Angel takes my hand, and stares down at me. I close my eyes again and I feel my lip tremble.
“He was beside himself with worry. Mick came and he had to go…”
“He left me, I want him here. Instead he sends you.”
I spit the words out, and feel bad right away. “I’m sorry Angel.”
“No, it’s ok. I know how it feels kid, I know.”
“I just want to be alone? Can I please be alone?”
Angel stares at me for long moments. “I’ll get him back Willow, I swear it.”
“I hope so,” I whisper, “b
ecause I just can’t take much more of this.
CHAPTER 13
JAGGER
“You need more stitches.” Sharleen says, pressing a cloth to my lip.
I grumble. That bastard could hit. Split my lip three different ways. I won all the same. Winning doesn’t feel good anymore. It feels blank. Empty. Sharleen removes the cloth and groans.
“Want me to do it?”
“Don’t you always?” I mutter.
She glares at me, and I return it with full force.
“Fine Jagger, be an asshole.”
I don’t answer her. She prepares the needle and thread and then leans in. I hate when she’s this close to me. Once I loved it. I couldn’t get enough of her but now…she makes me sick, angry even. Her eyes scan my face but I refuse to meet them. When she pulls the needle through my lip, I tense. Fuck, I am used to this but it still burns. It burns more than just my lip.
“All done,” she says a moment later.
I
move out of her way and stand, cracking my knuckles. My shoulders ache and my head isn’t in the game tonight. All I keep thinking about is Willow and how she begged me the other night not to go. I hung up on her, just hung up as though her call meant nothing to me. I’ll fucking end this. I have to end this.
“What’s the fucking problem
, Jagger?”
I spin to see Mick storming in, shaking his head.
“What?” I mutter, strapping my hands for the next fight.
“Your head ain’t in the game. Get it back in.”
“I’m fine. I’m winning aren’t I?”
“You’ve copped more hits tonight
than any other night, winning is hardly the point. Your reputation,
our
reputation, is sinking.”
“It’s one fucking fight Mick, settle down.”
He storms over, his blue eyes piece mine. “It’s not one fucking fight, it’s everything. I won’t tell you again son, get your head in the game or I’ll fucking make you pay.”
I can’t wait to make him pay. His day is coming, oh yes,
it’s coming. I spin around and head back out to the screaming crowd. Here I go…again.
~*~*~*~
WILLOW
I’m just coming back from the store. The sun is setting and I’m alone. Jenny has Cody at my apartment, she took him so I could go and fetch something for dinner. I stare at the sunset and sigh, something so beautiful just isn’t special to me anymore. Nothing is and I hate that. I hate what I’ve become. I’m just passing the cars when suddenly someone is gripping my arm and pulling me backwards. I scream but a hand goes over my mouth.
“It’s me.”
Jagger.
Oh god. I spin around, dropping the groceries and I leap on him. I wrap my legs around his waist and bury my head into his shoulder. I breathe him in, inhaling deeply. He holds me tight, wrapping his arms around me and pressing me up against a nearby wall. He buries his nose into my hair and breathes me in, just like I’m doing.
“Baby, fuck, I’ve missed you.”
“Jagger, you came.”
I pull back and look at him. He has a black eye and three lots of stitches in his lip. My mouth drops open and he smiles weakly.
“Jagger,” I whisper, stroking his lip.
“
It’s fine, it’ll heal.”
I stare at the fading marks on his face, and know eventually they’ll stop looking so pale and begin taking over his beautiful face. He narrows his eyes at me and grips my chin.
“Don’t you like me with all these scars?”
His voice is bitter. I snap my head back and take his face in my hands.
“I’ll love you, no matter what.”
He smiles and it looks like it pains him.
“I guess kissing is out?” I pout.
He meets my gaze and leans in so he’s nearly touching my lips with his.
“Might be, but I can do plenty of things to make that up to you.”
I smile and then frown. He stares at me confused.
“You picked the worst timing.”
He closes his eyes and mutters a curse. “You can’t be serious?”
Yep, aunt flow is here. Why lord? Why?
“You get your
monthlies the one time I can see you?”
“Isn’t seeing me enough?” I frown.
“Hey,” he says, turning my face to his. “You know it is. I wasn’t the only one getting horny.”
I giggle. “No, you weren’t.”
“Besides, I have things planned.”
“Oh you do, do you?”
He smirks. “I’ve got one night, I’m gonna make it count but first…where’s my boy?”
I smile and untangle myself from him,
and then we walk inside. Jenny is feeding Cody at the table. When she sees Jagger, she beams.
“You found her?”
“You knew?” I cry, crossing my arms.
“I knew. That’s why I’m taking Cody for the night.”
I frown and watch Jagger walk over and scoop him up, covering himself in mashed pumpkin. Jenny giggles and I smile.
“He’ll be fine with me,” she says, “I’ve had him before.”
“I know, but I hate leaving him.”
“Willow, you’ve had him twenty four seven since he was born. You’ve been up the last week with him screaming. You deserve this. He’ll be ok.”
I swallow and nod, then turn to Jagger who’s chatting to Cody. I smile and stand next to him.
“I’m sure he’s grown in a week.”
“He has.”
Jagger frowns. “I’m missin’ this.”
“It won’t be long, it’s going to be fine.”
“I’ll go get a bag ready, let you two spend some time with him,” Jenny says, touching my arm.
Jagger falls onto the couch and I flop down beside him. Cody goo’s and grips his necklace. Jagger smiles as much as his sore lip will allow and strokes Cody’s cheek.
“He’s a good boy, isn’t he?” Jagger grins.
“You wouldn’t say that if you had him for the last week.”
“Listen here boy, you sleep for your mommy when da…”
“You can say it,” I whisper.
Jagger looks over at
me, his eyes are a little lost.
“When daddy is away,” I finish for him.
“Daddy,” he whispers. “It’s such a sweet, nice word. I’m not sweet and nice Willow.”
“No, you’re strong, brave and beautiful. You’re everything he needs and more.”
“What if…when I come back…”
“Hey,” I say, touching his cheek. “Don’t you start doubting yourself now,
Jagger.”
He nods and kisses Cody’s cheeks. “Be a good little man for mommy, she’s doin’ it tough little fella.”
Cody looks at Jagger, stares him right in the eye. Then he giggles and shoves a fist into his mouth. Jagger snorts.
“Real charmer.”
I laugh. “He’s beautiful.”
Jagger nods. “Yeah, he’s fuckin’ perfect.”
“Language, Black!”
He gives me a little grin just as Jenny re-
appears. He looks hesitant to give Cody over.
“We can keep him here
...” I suggest.
Jagger closes his eyes. “No, you need this as much as I do. I just hate givin’ him up.”
“Why don’t I just take him for a few hours then?” Jenny suggests.
Jagger looks to me, then to her. “Give us four?”
“Done.”
Jagger hands Cody over and I stand, kissing him.
“Call me Jen, if you need anything at all.”
“I’m just a few apartments down with Ace, he’ll be fine. Enjoy.”
She leaves and I stare at the door for a long while. When I turn to look back at Jagger, he’s staring at me. I suddenly feel a little awkward. It’s been a while since it’s just been just the two of us and I really don’t know what to do. Jagger stands and walks over.
“Nervous?”
I grin sheepishly, “A little.”
He leans down and presses his cheek to mine and whispers in my ear. “Don’t be, I won’t bite.”
I wrap my arms around him and press my body to his. “I hope you do though.”
He makes
an mmmmm sound and nibbles softly at my neck. His stitches are scratchy but I don’t care, having him this close makes everything ok.
“You’re going to shower, and I’m going to start dinner.”
I pull back. “You’re not going to threaten me so I’ll cook for you?”
He narrows his eyes and I
giggle, “Not funny yet?”
“Not quite, you know I never wanted to hurt you baby.”
“I know. So, you’re going to cook for me? Should I be afraid?”
A ghost of a smile plays around his lips and his eyes light up. “You should be very scared.”
I tilt my head to the side and grin prettily at him. “Oh?”
“Get to the shower, before I spank that cute little ass.”
“I’d like that.”
“Go!” he laughs, then winces.
I lean in and kiss around the stitches in his lip. “Poor baby,” I murmur against his skin.
“Go Willow, or I’ll fuck you. Period or not.”
“Ew.”
He slaps my ass when I turn and head down the hall. I go the entire way to our room smiling, and for the first time in a while, it’s real.
CHAPTER
14
WILLOW
I shower and shave everything, then I dress in some light shorts and a tank top. I’m grateful my period is pretty much over, but pissed it’s not over enough to have a dandy time with Jagger. When I walk out into the kitchen, I smell food cooking and my stomach grumbles for the first time in days. I see Jagger standing in the kitchen squinting at a piece of
chicken, he looks so god dammed beautiful standing there like that.
His black shirt is stretched across that beautiful chest and his black jeans are just tight enough to let the imagination roll. I walk over and stop behind
him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He pats my hand and then continues staring at the chicken. I want to ask him if he wants help but somehow I know that won’t do his ego any favors, so I just snuggle into him from behind. He spins around a moment later, takes my hips and turns me so I’m pressed against the bench. Then he lifts me and deposits me down onto it and nestles himself between my legs.
“You smell
amazing, you’re not doing good for my self control.”
“I could always get on my knees and suck you while you cook.”
His eyes widen and grow lusty. “Baby, I’d love that but I have this all planned out and…”
“Oh do you now?”
He grins. “I do.”