Darkest Before Dawn (KGI series) (50 page)

Even now he was gleefully anticipating giving his first anniversary gift to her when Reece was put down for the night and enduring a sound dressing down for going overboard with his present for her. He did so love to indulge her every whim. He loved making her happy. Her smile made everything worthwhile in his life.

Sensing his presence, Honor looked up from where she was speaking in loving, low tones to their son, and she smiled, her eyes so full of love that it instilled a fierce ache in his heart. His soul swelled to near bursting if she so much as looked at him. He’d never grow tired of her love for him simmering in her eyes just as he’d always return it in kind.

“Not that I don’t love you spoiling me so, but what’s this?” she asked in a teasing tone.

He set the tray on the coffee table in front of her and then slid onto the couch next to her, leaning in to kiss her, cradling his son’s head in his large palm.

“Don’t tell me you forgot that today is our one year wedding anniversary,” he said with mock ferocity.

She grinned mischievously. “Nope. I have my own gift as well, but you’ll have to wait a bit. I’m a little busy at the moment.”

“You loving me is all the gift I’ll ever need,” he said with complete sincerity.

“Well, that’s easy enough. I do love you, Guy. I’ll always love you. That’s never going to change and I hope you feel the same. But that gift is given every day. Today? I have something extra special for you.”

“You say the dumbest things sometimes, woman,” he said, his eyes narrowing, but he knew he didn’t look in the least bit annoyed. Honor’s eyes were laughing back at his. “As
if
I won’t always feel the same,” he huffed. “You are my life, Honor. Without you, I have nothing. Without you, I don’t
want
to live.”

Suddenly she lifted her free hand to his face and caressed his clean-shaven jaw, and he couldn’t help himself. Mindful of the precious bundle still feeding, he leaned in and kissed her, tenderly exploring her mouth, absorbing her taste, something he would never grow tired of.

When he finally pulled away, her cheeks were flushed and desire reflected in her half-lidded warm brown eyes.

“How much longer before he finishes with his mother and goes down for his nap so his father can steal her for a while?” Hancock said in a voice thick with arousal.

Other parts of him were just as thick, as heavy, and as aching.

She laughed. “He only just woke up. He has a few hours yet before naptime.”

Hancock bit back a curse. If he weren’t such a paranoid, overprotective bastard, he would have taken the numerous offers from his and Honor’s families to keep Reece for an extended anniversary weekend and he would have had Honor all to himself.

But they rarely left the island. A brief black thought flickered through his mind. Did Honor feel like a prisoner? Never let out and never allowed the freedom to come and go as she pleased? Hancock was a controlling bastard. She never left the island without him. He never left her on the island alone.

Most women would feel stifled and grow to resent such restrictions, but not Honor. That fact still didn’t prevent him from worrying that one day . . . He shook off the dark
thoughts. He wouldn’t go there. Honor had assured him that she loved their life. That she loved
him
.

“Will you burp him and then put him in his bouncer for me?”

Honor’s sweetly worded request broke through his dour thoughts, and he sprang into action, gingerly sliding his large, clumsy hands beneath Reece’s head and diapered bottom, lifting him up to his shoulder so he could pat Reece’s back. A few minutes and several impressive belches later, Hancock laughed and eased the baby into the bouncer that overlooked the sandy beach and sparkling water.

When he turned back, his wife’s eyes twinkled with merriment, and he sent her his best ferocious glare. It amused her to no end that even now he was still convinced that he was going to drop the baby or crush his tiny little body with hands that had, until now, been used as weapons. For violence, not tenderness. To inflict pain, not offer comfort.

She patted the space beside her as she repositioned herself on the couch. It was too bad, because her former pose gave him a very good view of her breasts, which were still more rounded. She reached for a plate and handed it to him and then retrieved the other and they sat side by side enjoying the breakfast Hancock had prepared.

She ate while he simply enjoyed watching her. Watching her never got old.

God, he loved this woman.

Honor studied Guy from underneath her eyelashes. Even if she couldn’t feel his heated stare, she’d know he was watching her. He always watched her. In the beginning, she gave herself away by blushing and had even asked him why he was forever staring at her.

Very seriously, he’d told her that she was the most beautiful thing in his world and that he still had a hard time believing she belonged to him. And she did belong to him in every possible way.

He’d warned her of his possessiveness. His dominance. His need to control every aspect of his life—their life. And his absolute dedication to keeping her safe at all times. As though that part of his personality would frighten her away.
At times, she could feel his restraint. Could feel him holding back because of his fear of driving her away, but she was having none of that and she let him know it very forcefully. She wanted the real Guy or nothing at all.

It had taken considerable patience on her part, and at times he still needed to be convinced that things he considered faults were things she not only loved but also
reveled
in. She
needed
them. She needed
him
. God, how she needed
and
loved him with every breath in her body.

While he worried about her contentment, she worried about
his
happiness. His life had done a complete 180 in the last year. He no longer lived every day knowing it could be his last, and as crazy as it sounded, she knew he thrived on it. Not because he was an adrenaline junky or
enjoyed
it. But because he truly wanted to make a difference in the world. Protect the innocent, take out the evil. He thought himself to be an evil man when nothing could be further from the truth.

And the very people who had formed Titan, for the greater good, had turned on him and his teammates, branding them outcasts and traitors because Guy and his men were no longer willing to do their dirty work for them.

She hated them for that. For tarnishing Guy’s honor and daring to question their motives. Pure motives when they were the very best of men, protecting those who had no one to protect them. Standing up for those without voices and rebelling against those who betrayed their country and the citizens they’d sworn to represent.

She leaned forward to set her empty plate on the coffee table, but Guy intercepted, taking it from her, sliding it onto the wooden surface and then pulling her into his arms, tucking her under his shoulder and against his muscled frame.

A sigh of contentment whispered past her lips as she melted against him.

“You sound happy,” he said in a pleased tone.

“Oh I am,” she breathed.

She tilted her head up just enough that she could take in his beloved features. The sensual mouth, the warmth in his eyes and his firm jaw and defined cheekbones. She feathered
one hand over his chest, coming to rest over his heart, feeling the steady, reassuring beat against her palm.

“Do you remember our wedding?”

He gave her a look that suggested she’d lost her mind. “Like I’d ever forget the day you officially became mine? I remember every single second. I’m not likely to ever forget a moment of it. Or the way you looked. The sound of you saying, ‘I do.’ The way I forgot that anyone else was there when I tasted the sweetness of your mouth and kissed you forever and didn’t want to ever stop. How time stopped and for that single moment in time it was just you and me. Together. Vowing to spend the rest of our lives together. You have no idea what that day meant to me, Honor. I think of it every night after I’ve made love to you and you drift off to sleep in my arms, and I simply watch you, holding you close and I replay our wedding in my mind.”

“Wow,” she whispered, heat flooding her cheeks, love filling her heart to near bursting.

“It’s a day I’ll carry with me every day for the rest of my life,” he said with utter seriousness. “Because on that day you gave me something very precious, Honor. You gave me yourself, and I take that—will always take that very seriously. I’ll never take it, or you and our child, for granted.”

“I love you,” she said in an aching voice infused with emotion he couldn’t possibly miss.

He kissed her, long and lingering, even as Reece gurgled happily as he kicked and waved his arms in his bouncer. “And I love you, Honor Hancock. Always. Forever.”

She settled more fully into his arms, snuggling into his heat and his strength, her fingers caressing a random pattern over his chest.

“Do you miss them? Do you ever regret not remaining with your team? Walking away and never looking back?”

He pulled back, his expression fierce as he stared intently into her eyes. “No!
Never
.” He shifted, turning so he could frame her face in his hands. “For more than a decade, Titan was my entire life. My family. Them and the Sinclairs, though I didn’t see them often. But, Honor,
you
are my family now. My entire
world
. You and our son. My sole reasons for living. You give me purpose. A reason for being, a reason to truly
live
.
I never had that before. My missions were just jobs performed by rote. My heart and soul were never in them. I was resigned to the reason for my existence. I never had anything for myself. Didn’t want it. Until you. Do I miss
that
life? Hell no. I can’t
imagine
my life without you and our child. I don’t
want
to imagine it, which is why I will go to any lengths to protect you, to ensure that neither of you ever come to harm. Because without you, I have and am nothing. You are
everything
to me.”

Tears flooded her eyes as she stared at her husband in shock. Guy wasn’t a wordy man. Nor was he what anyone would call poetic or smooth in his speech. He was brusque, even abrupt at times, though she never took it personally. More often than not, he was just silent. His impassioned statement was so uncharacteristic and sincere that she
felt
each and every word in the deepest recesses of her soul.

She had no reply. What
could
she say in response to the most beautiful, eloquent words she’d ever heard in her life? And they were all for her. He loved
her
.

Tears streamed silently down her cheeks. Even if she had the appropriate words to offer, she’d never be able to speak around the knot in her throat.

“Don’t cry,” Guy said desperately, his expression one of sheer male panic.

If she weren’t so overcome by the moment she would have laughed, because Guy couldn’t stand to see her cry. He’d once confided in her that it made him feel utterly helpless, and for a man like Guy to admit to feeling helpless . . . well, that was huge.

Feeling a change in topic was desperately needed, and she still needed a little more time until she unveiled her anniversary present, she grabbed onto the first thing that entered her mind. Guy’s upcoming trip to the Middle East.

“Are you still planning to leave in two weeks?” she asked lightly, keeping a tight rein on the emotion swelling her throat.

His lips immediately turned down. He hated leaving Honor and Reece, but the alternative was Honor going herself, and he’d made himself clear, that over his dead body, would she
ever
return there.

Despite the majority of ANE being dismantled and left
powerless, Honor was still a target to many who sympathized with ANE or were simply offended that a mere woman managed to topple an entire terrorist group. Never mind that she hadn’t done anything at all. Titan and KGI along with help from a CIA operative had headed up that operation.

Not even in the States was she safe, because the remnants of the ANE group would love nothing better than to assassinate her. And other sympathizers, terrorists, would delight in being the ones to take her out. It would be a badge of honor and they would be heralded as heroes to those who opposed everything Honor stood for. Her courage. Defiance. A woman surviving and coming out the victor when most would have died.

Honor had kept the vow she’d made to herself that ANE would not make her quit her relief efforts. Hancock had been equally insistent that she never set foot in the region ever again, and he’d been fully backed by Titan. Or what used to be Titan. Conrad, Cope, Viper and Henderson. Sadness still gripped her heart over the loss of Mojo. She hated that even one of Guy’s men had been killed because of her.

So a compromise had been reached and it had worked surprisingly well for all parties involved. Honor founded a charitable foundation that provided relief efforts to villages desperately in need, places that no one else would venture into. And the former members of Titan found that retirement wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, so they recruited new members to replace Mojo and Hancock as well as increasing their numbers, but they didn’t take missions. They didn’t act as Titan had in the past. Their one and only objective was to provide protection for Honor’s relief center and its workers. They even helped train local men and women in the villages so they weren’t so vulnerable to attack. It was an arrangement that suited all parties involved.

But Honor knew Guy, and she knew he would never be happy simply doing nothing but staying home with his wife and child twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred sixty-five days a year. So he acted as Honor’s emissary and made three or four trips to the relief centers a year to ensure that the doctors, nurses and volunteers had all the necessary equipment they needed, though Honor knew he
wanted and needed that time to reconnect with the men who’d been brothers to him for over a decade.