Deep Water (13 page)

I
showered, dressed, stepped over the drunks asleep in my living room, and made
my way to the bus stop. I pulled my phone out and called Ewan. He answered in a
sleepy voice.

“Hey,
Jessie. It’s so early–”

“That
is
never
happening again! Do you understand me? You’ve had your little
porn fantasy so get all that shit out of your system or I’ll kick your ass to
the curb. Oh, and by the way, get those mental patients the hell out of my
house!” I ended the call before he had a chance to respond.

I
kept myself busy at work, that way I didn’t have to think about anything. Ewan
rang me just before it was time to go home.

“I
just wanted to warn you,” he said.

“About
what?”

“We
just got an eviction notice. I tried to tap my aunt for some money, I really
did. But she says she’s given me enough over the years and the well’s run dry.
She’s such a bitch!”

I
listened to him rant and rave for a few minutes until he finally took a breath.

“Don’t
worry about anything, Ewan. I’ll take care of it.” I ended the call. Out the
window, I could see a black Lexus parked outside the diner across the road.

I
clutched my purse as I crossed the road. I was firmly aware that I would be
checking my last shreds of dignity at the door before I entered it. Joseph sat
alone in a booth, looking at his phone. For a second, I considered walking out
again, but I couldn’t. I needed this. I took a deep breath and walked over to
him and slipped into the seat opposite his.

He
raised his head slightly to look at me, before casting his eyes back to his
phone.

“Jessica,
what can I do for you today?” he asked, dryly.

For
a second my mouth was dry and I didn’t think I could form the words, but
desperate need overcame that. “I need money. A loan.”

My
voice came out shaky, and I had to hide my hands under the table because they
shook as well. Joseph didn’t even lift his eyes from the phone.

“Why
don’t you leave him?” he asked, softly.

I
frowned. “What?”

“Why
don’t you leave your husband?” he repeated as he typed a message in his phone,
his concentration fully on the device instead of me.

I
swallowed. “What kind of question is that?”

“A
simple one.”

I
laced my hands together on my lap before answering. “You don’t just leave
people because they have issues. He’s my husband and I love him.”

“How
much?” He looked at me now.

“What?”
Why was he playing these games?

“How
much do you love him?”

“Enough
to marry him, obviously.” I leaned back in my seat. “Look, Joseph. I wouldn’t
come to you unless I were desperate. We’re getting
evicted
. Please? I
just need–”

He
got to his feet. “I have to go. Excuse me.” Then, without a second glance he
was walking through the door. I watched him go, the shame and humiliation I
felt now was tenfold.

I
had to wait half an hour for the next bus. Every weirdo that got on at each
stop seemed to want to sit close to me so I hugged my purse to my chest and
kept staring out the window as to avoid eye contact with anyone who wanted to
initiate conversation. It felt like an eternity before we arrived at my stop. I
eased past the guy sitting next to me who had no concept of personal space. He
pinched my ass and I didn’t even have the energy to turn around and say
something or slap him.

And
then when I reached the apartment building, Joseph’s car was parked out front.
I stopped and stared at it for a moment before continuing cautiously into the
building. I heard Ewan’s voice before I even put my key in the lock. I really
hoped that he didn’t have any of his mental patient friends there, especially
Antonio or whatever his name was.

Joseph
sat there in his smart suit, beer in hand. Ewan sat on the couch wearing a
t-shirt and shorts with his arms slung casually over the back of the couch like
he didn’t have a care in the world.

“Hey,
babe. Wanna beer?” he greeted me, before finishing his own beer. I didn’t
respond to him, instead I just stared at Joseph.

“What
are you doing here?”

He
cocked his head. “You asked for my help.”

Ewan
had gotten up and grabbed a couple more beers; he pushed an open one into my
hand. I numbly sat down beside him, never taking my gaze from Joseph, and his
didn’t leave me either.

“Man,
it’s weird that you turned out successful. I never would have picked it for you
when we were in high school,” Ewan said, lifting his bottle to his lips.

“What
would you have picked for me?” Joseph took a sip of his own beer.

“Prison.”
Then Ewan grinned. “No offense or anything.”

“None
taken.”

“It’s
just that, you know, the circles you ran it. You weren’t exactly most likely to
succeed or anything…”

I
wanted to tell Ewan to shut up and that he was acting like a dick, but I
didn’t. I just sat there numbly.

“Well,
we certainly didn’t run in the same circles, did we? Weren’t you prom king or
something?”

“Yeah.”
Ewan let out a laugh. “Those were fun times. Man, I’d give anything to relive
being in high school and not having to worry about anything.” His hand searched
for mine, picking it up and squeezing it. “I got the girl, though. That’s the
main thing.”

I
couldn’t read Joseph’s face as he eyed Ewan and mine’s entwined hands, then he
looked over the room we were in and a look of amusement flickered over his face
ever so briefly.

“Yes,
I guess that’s the main thing,” he said finally, and I had the distinct
impression that he was laughing at Ewan, and me too I guessed.

“Anyway,
maybe we should talk more about this deal?” Ewan released my hand and leaned
forward.

“I
don’t lend money to people,” Joseph said. “As Jessica begged me to prior.”

My
cheeks heated, but I managed to stay put.

“However,
I could possibly offer you both a job–”

“Jessie’s
got a job,” Ewan cut in while I sat up straight.

“Yes,
but where will she live? She doesn’t seem to be able to afford to pay rent on
her salary.”

I
cleared my throat. “I haven’t spoken to the landlord yet. Maybe I can talk to
him about giving us a break–”

“That
won’t happen,” Joseph cut in, crisply.

“How
do you know?”

“Because
I own this building and I don’t carry dead weight.”

That
shut me up.

“Hold
on, Jessie. I want to hear about this job offer,” Ewan said.

“I’ve
taken over one of the estates on the lake. I’ll need staff, a housekeeper, and groundsman.
They’re live-in roles. That fact alone should relieve some of the pressure
you’re under.”

Ewan
let out a laugh and then spluttered on his beer. “Are you kidding? So we’d be
like your servants? I thought it was just going to be the sex stuff.”

Sex
stuff?

A
faint smile crossed Joseph’s face. “You’re not man enough to prevent your wife
from begging me for help, yet you turn your nose up at being a servant? Do you
see the irony there?”

“Hey,
man. I didn’t know she was going to beg you–”

“Why
are you helping us?” I cut in, their eyes turned to me.

Joseph
shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? We used to be close. I hate seeing you
so…desperate.”

Other
questions burned in my throat, but before I could ask anything more he gave a
sly grin. There was something nasty there; something that I didn’t like.

“Oh,
and there’s probably one more thing you should know. I’ve already had this
discussion with your husband, but you should probably be aware of it as well.”

“What
do you mean?” I felt Ewan shift beside me as if excited.

“Perhaps
your husband should tell you.” His voice was cold and his eyes hard, making me
feel like I couldn’t escape him.

Ewan
cleared his throat. “Well, Jess. It seems that Joseph here still has a thing
for you and, well, you know what we did with Antonio the other night? It would
be along the same kind of lines, you know? So if you agreed then‒”

“My
offer doesn’t go ahead without it,” Joseph cut in, but I barely heard him above
my rapidly beating heart.

“You
want to sleep with me?” I whispered, clutching my bottle.

“There
wouldn’t be much sleeping…but the question is: if you want to ‘sleep’ with me,
Jessica?” How could he sound so casual with those hard eyes of his boring into
me and making me want to shrink away?

I
managed to twist my head to stare at my husband, whose eyes were also on me.
Lust and excitement. It was enough to make me throw up.

“Come
on, Jess. It’ll be fun,” he urged.

“It’s
not a done deal yet,” Joseph said, “I want to see what I’m getting.”

My
eyes darted back to him. “What do you mean?”

“Strip.
Let’s see how well you’ve aged,” he taunted.

“I…”
My mouth was dry. The horror, the shame and most of all, the
lust
that I
still felt for this cold creature in front of me, all mingled together and
rendered me all but useless. Images of who this cold intruder used to be
flashed into my memory and my heart actually hurt. Worse, though, was how my
body responded. Nipples hard, wet panties. It was too hard to comprehend. It
all felt so wrong yet so right. I wanted Ewan to disappear so Joseph and I were
alone. I wanted his lips on mine. I wanted him to say that he still loved me…

 I
stood limp as my husband, for once in his life, took charge. He undressed me
like a doll, letting the garments fall at our feet, not even pausing when it
came to sliding the panties from my slim hips.

It
all felt dreamlike and surreal.

How had it come
to this? I stood naked in front of my husband and
him.
Both their eyes
were on me, taking in every curve, every rib, the way that my nipples stood up
hard and pink like an invitation or a party treat, just waiting to be sucked
into their mouths. My hands hung uselessly between my legs, making a pathetic
attempt at hiding my area there. It was probably blushing down there as well,
just like my heated cheeks.

My husband gave
me a lazy smile as he made no attempt to hide his glee. All his perverted
dreams were being made real right in front of him. I knew what he liked; he had
long ago stopped making any attempt to hide his desires. His laptop would be
left open with the porn page on display. His
favorite
was
young women being naked in front of a variety of men, blushing and embarrassed
at being bared and displayed. Their humiliation turned him on.

“Remove your
hand, baby. Let him see what he’s getting,” my husband coaxed, leaning forward
in his seat, and I did so hesitantly as my heart began to beat violently. I
didn’t look at
him
, I had no desire to see the reaction on his face,
whether it be lust or disgust. With him, it could well be either. I also
couldn’t look at him, because I wasn’t sure what it would make me feel. I could
have walked away, told them both to get fucked; that I wasn’t a toy or a
plaything.

But I knew that
I wouldn’t do that.

Because they
both had a hold over me.

I let my hands
rest against my thighs in an effort to stop them shaking while, no doubt,
his
gaze raked over me.  He said nothing, and I just stood there, staring at the
ground. What was wrong? Didn’t he want me? That thought, more than all of this
twisted, sordid ordeal, made me sick to my stomach. I hated to admit that

After the
silence had stretched on for several minutes, my husband cleared his throat.
“So, what do you think?”

“I want to see
how obedient she is,” came
his
smooth voice.

“She’s
obedient,” my husband laughed. “So willing, so compliant. Always willing to
please
as long as you play with her just right.” I felt myself flush even more. I
had done those things for him because I had loved him and wanted him happy. It
was wrong that he made me sound like some horny little slut.

“I’ll just have
to see for myself, won’t I?” the interloper in our home said arrogantly.
“Jessica, get down on your hands and knees and crawl over here.”

My eyes darted
to him quickly. He sat there, casual as anything, staring at me with those dark
eyes. His lips were twisted up in a smirk. He, like my husband, was enjoying
this. This was his revenge, to see me degraded and at his feet. I swallowed,
the urge to march from the room strong, but I didn’t. Our future, our
happiness…it all depended on this man in front of me.

I scowled at
him, and his smirk grew bigger. He directed his gaze to my husband. “It would
seem that she’s not as compliant as you thought.”

My husband gave
a nervous laugh and with his eyes gave me a near begging look. “Jessie, honey,
do what the man says.” His eyes were saying please in a way that his mouth
never would.
I swallowed, and slowly sunk down to my hands and knees.
The carpet was rough beneath me, and it reminded me that this was all real. I
sucked in a breath, while my mouth twisted, partly with the urge to cry, and
partly in disgust at what they were making me do.

How could I ever
have of loved
him
?

Joseph’s phone
rang. It’s loud and intrusive tone broke through everything, bringing me back
to reality and I quickly crossed my arms over my breasts as if someone else had
walked in the room.  He answered it with a bark and then told them that he
wasn’t far away.

He placed his empty beer bottle on the
coffee table along with his business card. “If you’re interested, call me and
I’ll have the contracts couriered to you. Regardless of your decision, my
property manager has very strict instructions on how to deal with non-paying
tenants. There will be no leeway with him.” He got to his feet.  “I’ll see
myself out.”

I
waited still as a statue until the door closed. My cheeks felt raw with
embarrassment as I finally managed to turn my head to face Ewan. He was smiling
down at me. “You did great, baby. Did you see the look in his eyes? He fucking
loved you.”