Deep Water (14 page)

He
was wrong, though. The only thing that Joseph loved was my humiliation. “Get me
another beer,” I rasped.

After
I had struggled my way back into my clothes, I sunk back into the couch and drank
my beer.

“I
guess we don’t have a choice,” Ewan finally spoke, trying to sound like the
whole ordeal hadn’t excited him.

I
started to laugh, and then I started to cry. “Do you have a better option,
Ewan? We don’t even have a car to live in when we get kicked out. Debt
collectors are chasing us…”

He
pulled me into his chest as I sobbed and made soothing circles on my back.
“It’ll be okay, Jessie. I promise.” I just cried harder.

When
I finally got myself under control, I pulled back and stared at him with tear
filled eyes. “I don’t want you to get sick from the stress, okay? I think this
is our best option. We’d have somewhere to live at least, and we can
concentrate on paying off our debts and then after that maybe we could look at
getting a deposit for a house of our own. If we have to declare bankruptcy,
then that will probably never happen.”

Ewan
lifted a hand to my face and used a thumb to wipe away my tears. “Okay, we’ll
do it if it makes you happy.”  He leaned in and kissed me. “You know I’d do
anything for you, don’t you? I love you so much, Jessie. I know I’ve worried
you in the past, but from now on I’m going to do my best to take care of you.
We’ll take these jobs, get back on our feet, and then maybe we can start
planning a family of our own.”

I
managed to smile at him. This was the loving Ewan of old that I fell in love
with. “I love you too.”

But
it was like the shadow of Joseph was still in the room‒powerful and about
to consume us both.

Two
weeks later, we were both employed by my ex-boyfriend. It was an old property
on the far side of the lake from where we used to party. The driveway was tree
lined and twisted up a hill before the lake and house came into view. It was so
isolated that it felt like you were in your own world. The house was old and in
need of renovation. Joseph had brought the property with the aim of having it
as part of the hotel, but he had changed his mind, making the hotel smaller and
thought he might renovate it eventually if he liked living out there.

The
first few weeks we were there, we barely saw Joseph. He was out of town a lot
for business so all I had to worry about was keeping the house clean while Ewan
took care of the gardens. He didn’t seem to mind that too much. It was fairly easy
work which involved keeping the lawns and hedges trimmed. I think he took some
amount of pride in this work, even though he thought it beneath him.  In the
evenings, after the work was done and Ewan was watching TV, I’d go for swims in
the lake. It was deeper in this part, and it was a weird feeling having such a
deep space beneath me, my legs touching nothing but endless water like I was
just a speck on this massive lake that could choose to swallow me if it chose.
But I still swam out far anyway. That was the best part about living there.
Joseph’s proposal still lingered in the back of my mind. Was he serious? He had
yet to touch me, but the thought of his hands on me again made me shiver with
lust even though the idea of it was so sick.

In
the evenings, I would sit out on the paved patio and let my skin dry in the
last remnants of the day’s sunshine. The pavers still carried the heat from the
day, and I would lie there with my eyes closed and think about what I wanted
for the future.

During
the third week that we were there, Joseph came home and stepped out onto the
patio that I was lying on. He carried two bottles of beer and set one down
beside me and I stood, grabbing my towel to wrap around me.

“Thanks.”
I lifted the bottle to my lips as I sat in the chair next to him. This
familiarity or friendliness, if that was what it was, was odd.

He
looked tired, and his tie was loosened. “How was the water?”

“Warm.
You should go in.”

“Maybe
later.”

We
sat together, not speaking, until I felt like I needed to break the silence.
“How’s the hotel going?”

He
shook his head. “I hate dealing with fucking investors, but they’re a necessary
evil.”

“You
can’t fund it yourself.”

He
grinned at me. “Always use other people’s money. That’s the first rule.” He
looked around. “Where’s Ewan?”

“In
our bedroom. He’s doing a really good job with the gardens–”

“I
don’t give a fuck about the gardens,” he cut in.

“Oh.”
I looked away, surprised by the ferocity in his voice.

“I’ll
probably end up ripping everything out and getting something more modern and needing
less maintenance done if I end up staying. He needed something to keep him
busy, that’s all.”

I
looked at him, and he was staring hard back at me.

“Joseph,
why did you employ us?”

“I
felt sorry for you, Jessica. That was all.” He stood up. “I’m gonna take a
shower and go to bed.”

I
was summoned to dinner at my mother’s house. Terrence was away and she said it
would be nice to have an evening with just ‘us girls.’ At least she didn’t
expect me to bring along Ewan, I didn’t know if his delicate mental health
could withstand her needling comments.

I
sat at the table and ignored my meal, more concerned with the wine than her
cooking. She made polite conversation with me until her maid cleared away the
dishes. Then she leaned forward, chin on her hands, and said, “So, you’re a
housekeeper?”

I
rolled my eyes and took another gulp of wine. “It’s a job, mother. He’s helping
us get back on our feet.”

She
watched me with shrewd eyes. “You know, Jessie. You wouldn’t be the first
housekeeper to marry her employer.”

“Oh,
for god’s sake, mother. I am married. I am not about to go running off after
other men.
I’m not you!”

She
didn’t even flinch at that comment, merely blotted her lips with her napkin. “I
thought you would have understood by now how soul destroying being married to a
pathetic man can be. I was absolutely miserable until I fell in love with
Terrence.”

“Dad
was good to you.” I helped myself to more wine.

“Don’t
be so defensive. I’m not criticizing your father. He couldn’t help the way he
was, all I’m saying is that you can’t waste your life on Ewan out of some kind
of misplaced sense of loyalty.”

I
drank half my glass in once gulp and she looked at me in disapproval. The
alcohol made me grow some balls. “So are you saying that Dad should have left
you when you suffered from your mental problems?”

I
thought that comment would hurt her, but it didn’t. She just shrugged. “Maybe.
Listen, you are my only daughter and I want what’s best for you.”

I
snorted. “Really? You wouldn’t even help us out when we were desperate for
money.” I got to my feet. “I have to go, Mom. I’d like to say it’s been fun,
but it really hasn’t.”

She
shook her head at me. “I’ll call you in a week when you’ve gotten over your
tantrum.”

“Once
again,
Mom
,” I threw over my shoulder as I headed for the door. “I’m not
you!”

I
got into the car that Joseph had for us to use and put my keys in the ignition.
I knew I shouldn’t have been driving with the amount of wine that I’d drunken,
but I just didn’t care at that moment. I headed onto the road that led around
the lake and put my foot down. The more distance I could put between us, the
better.

When
I got home, the house was mainly in darkness. But I heard voices coming from
the kitchen, and that’s where I found Joseph and Ewan drinking together at the
kitchen table. Since we’d moved in, Joseph had been mainly aloof and formal
with us. It was strange that he and Ewan were drunk. Well, Ewan definitely was.
I couldn’t tell with Joseph. They were doing bourbon shots, and when Ewan saw me,
he gave me a grin and held up the bottle.

“Jessie!
Come join the party.” He filled a shot glass and shoved it toward me. Joseph
said nothing and I could feel his eyes on me as I sat at the table. I grabbed
the glass and downed it quickly.

“More,”
I said to Ewan, holding it out for a refill.

“That’s
my girl.”

The
second one went down just as easily. “So, what were you guys talking about?”

“Sex!”
Ewan yelled out, like he was a teenager again, as he refilled my glass.

“Ewan
was just filling me in on some of his…tastes.” Joseph caught my eye quickly
before putting the shot glass to his lips and throwing it down his throat.

“Is
that right?” I took another shot, I felt loose and free.

“Sure
is, baby.” Ewan took another shot. “Jessie, here. She’s not uptight like some
girls. Only a few weeks ago we invited my friend, Antonio to join in. Jessie
was all for it.”

“That’s
not how I remember it.” Shot number…I couldn’t remember anymore.

“Was
it special, Jessica?” asked Joseph. Was that sarcasm? I was too drunk to
tell…or care.

“Man,
I
love
seeing my woman screw other men. I love seeing her so open and
carefree. You’re so fucking hot, baby. I love other guys drooling over you.”
Ewan’s hand was on my thigh while his other hand caught my chin to direct my
lips to his for a drunken kiss.

“Jessica’s
always been a pretty girl,” Joseph murmured. My eyes darted over to him once
Ewan released my face. His stare was so intense it made me want to look away,
but I couldn’t, I just stared back and I felt like I was lost in his eyes, and
that yearning for him reared back up. We both just kept up our staring, almost
like we forgot that Ewan was in the room.

That
was until Joseph suddenly said, “Ewan, maybe it’s time I fucked your wife.”

He
was still staring directly at me when he said that. I wasn’t offended or
insulted. In fact, I felt myself get wet at those very words. I wanted Joseph
right now just like I had when I was a teenager.

Ewan
laughed. “As long as my baby’s happy. Jessie?” His voice sounded far away.
“Jessie?”

At
the second prompt, I managed to tear my gaze away from Joseph to look at my
husband. “Um, is that what you want?”

Ewan
leaned in to kiss my neck. “You know how hard that gets me, babe,” he said
between kisses. He took my hand and placed it on his groin just to emphasize
how hard it
did
get him.

“Come
over here, Jessica,” Joseph ordered. He didn’t sound drunk; he sounded
efficient and commanding. Unsteadily I got to my feet and walked over to him.
The moment I was within arms’ reach, his hand had gripped my wrist and I was
pulled onto his lap in one swift motion.

His
lips were instantly at the base of my neck, sucking at my skin. I felt my
breathing quicken at being this close to him again. When he removed his lips, I
nearly moaned in disappointment. He looked me in the eye.

“I
want you to ask me,” he said, softly. I was caught in his gaze again,
forgetting that Ewan was even in the room.

I
licked my lips. “Please.” My tone matched his in softness.

“Please
what?”

I
sucked in a breath and I didn’t think that I would ever be able to let it go.
“Please make love to me.”

He
kissed me then. His lips were soft and even as he began to kiss me harder, I
marveled at the softness of those lips. I touched as much of him as I could as
if he would disappear any second and none of this was real. I didn’t know how
much time lapsed during out kissing and touching, but finally he lifted me up
and placed me on the table, pushing me down so I was flat on my back. His hands
ripped away my panties that were soaking wet already and his finger slipped inside
me. He looked me directly in the eye.

“You
want this?” he asked, breathlessly.

“I
want this.”

Then
his cock was nudging at my entrance before pushing inside. I wrapped my legs
around him and rocked with him as he thrust faster and faster. Sounds tore from
my lips at the pressure on my clit, but I kept my eyes open to stare at him as
I came. His eyes never once left mine as he came inside me.

We
stayed like that for a few moments, just gazing into one another’s eyes. Then
his gaze flicked up, to where my forgotten husband must have been, and the
pleasure and contentment on his face disappeared. He withdrew abruptly and
fixed himself up.

“I’m
going to bed,” he said in a cold tone. “Make sure you clean this mess up.” Then
he strolled out of the kitchen, casual as anything. Leaving me half naked on
the kitchen table with a horny husband standing over me.

I
got out of bed with a shocking hangover the next morning, Ewan was still
sleeping it off.  I threw on my robe and walked unsteadily out to the kitchen,
every part of me felt shaky and weak. I stopped short when I saw Joseph sitting
at the table on which he’d fucked me the night before. He was wearing sweatpants
and a white t-shirt. He sipped his coffee and looked at me, but didn’t say anything.

I
continued past him and made my own cup of coffee, keeping my back firmly toward
him as I worked in the kitchen. After a while, he cleared his throat.

“Are
you mad at me about last night?”

I
turned to face him, clutching the kitchen counter for support. “No. Are you
still mad at me for cheating on you?”

His
eyes moved down to his cup. “No.” His voice was barely audible. I took a breath
and moved over to where he sat, taking the seat next to him. I placed my hot
coffee on the table.

“I’m
sorry about that. I’m still mad at myself. I feel like I wrecked everything
between us that was so great.” I welcomed the heat that burned my hands as I
cupped my coffee. His hand moved to touch mine and then his lips were touching
mine. I kissed him back for a few moments because that was the natural thing to
do. But then I had to pull back.

His
eyes searched mine and it was hard to speak. “I’m
married.
”

“To
a man who wants you to screw other men. What part of that is a marriage?”

“I
can’t,” I choked out. “I just can’t do that to him.”

His
hand left mine, his mouth a grim line. “I guess it doesn’t really matter
anyway.”

“Do
you want us to leave?” I was suddenly afraid that his answer would be yes. But
he just stood and pushed in his chair.

“No.”
Then he leaned down so he was eye-level with me, a hand reached out and stroked
my hair. But it wasn’t comforting, and the look in his eyes was so cold. The
small smile that his lips lifted into wasn’t friendly either. “I like the idea
of having my own sex slave around the house.”

“What?
No, Joseph, that won’t happen again–”

He
placed his finger against my lips. “Sshh…I think whatever I want to happen,
will happen. You depend on me for financial survival at the moment. And Ewan
has gambling debts that I don’t think you even know about. He’s borrowed from
some rather unsavory people, and if he doesn’t start paying them back…well, who
knows what they might do.”

The
finger was removed from my lips as I stared up at him in horror. “What do you
mean? How do you know that?”

He
stood up straight, that same smile on his face. “I do my research, plus Ewan
confirmed it last night. I told him I might help him out, that’s why he was so
happy. Trust me. Ewan won’t mind me using his wife in any way that I want.
Especially with the money I’m forking out. Face it, Jessie, he sold you.”

I
watched him walk out of the kitchen, the sound of my beating hard louder than
his feet on the tiles.

When
Ewan told me the amounts the he owed, I nearly passed out. I sat beside him on the
bed and put my head between my legs. It took me a moment to get myself under
control and face him.

“Why
didn’t you tell me?”

He
looked regretfully at me. “You were so stressed out about everything already
and I didn’t want to make it worse. But it’ll be okay now. Joseph’s going to
help us out.”

“Yeah.
But what does he want in return?” I gave a small laugh that had no humor in it.

Ewan’s
arm wrapped around my shoulders. “He likes you, Jessie. We should use that to
our advantage. I’m sure he thinks that he’s cleverer than us and that he’s the
one calling the shots. But deep down, it’s really us. You just need to get him
wrapped around your little finger, and we could have everything we want.”

“Ewan,
no–”

But
he silenced me with a kiss. “Trust me. Okay? We need to get back on our feet,
and those guys that I owe money to… they are not nice people. They could hurt
me, and they could hurt
you
. If anything happened to you, I don’t know
what I would do.”

I
found it hard to breathe and tears pricked at my eyes. “Are they that bad?”

He
nodded, grimly. “Yeah. I was so stupid…but I can’t change any of that now. Hey,
you know I love you, right?”

“I
know.”

He
started to kiss me, and his hand slipped inside my robe, cupping my breast. In
spite of everything, my nipple hardened under his touch and I pressed against
him. His other hand slipped down between my legs and I bucked against it. I
needed some kind of release from all this tension. I wanted to cum so hard that
I couldn’t remember any of my worries.

His
touch, his kisses…all of it felt so good. But then he was maneuvering me face down
over his lap. This was what he needed to get hard, and if I wanted him to fuck
me good and proper, this was what had to be done.

The
bottom of my robe was pulled up, baring my ass. He ran his hand over my flesh,
and his hands, once so soft, were now rough and callused from his outdoor work.
I braced myself as the first slap of his hand came down on me, and that was
quickly followed by another one. In a sick way, the pain felt good; even as it
grew and grew until my ass stung and I started to cry. But the crying was good
too, it was release. I felt like everything poured out of me along with my
tears