Defining Love: Volume 3 (Defining Love #3) (11 page)

“Sounds like an excellent way to spend my day off.” He pulled me
up, but before I could even begin to get off the pool table, he cradled my face
in his hands, staring deep into my eyes. “Seriously, Henri, you didn’t put me
through anything, okay? You’re my girlfriend now. I love you more than you’ll
ever know. Please don’t
ever
feel like there’s anything you can’t share
with me. Anything you can’t be completely honest about. I meant it when I said,
short of you cheating on me”—he lifted a pointed brow—“I can’t think of
anything else that would make me leave you. My love for you is unconditional.
Always will be. So promise me you won’t hold anything in. Let it out before it
builds so much you’re hurting as much as you were today.”

I smiled, even as I felt the lump in my throat again, but not in
a bad way this time. This time it was overwhelming relief. I truly believed
every word he was saying. “I promise.” And I meant it. I never would again.

~*~

Aaron

The wedding was even more painful than expected. As in
painfully awkward. Admittedly, I wondered if seeing Mia again would do anything
to me. Invoke any kind of doubt that I’d made a mistake.

Yesterday morning was a major confirmation of only one thing. I
couldn’t and wouldn’t live without Henri in my life now. There was no point in
mentioning it to Henri even after she’d made the remark about how hard it
must’ve been for Mia to see me again.

Our conversation hadn’t been quite as cut-and-dry as I made it
out to be, but again I didn’t see the point in elaborating. Henri wasn’t the
only emotional girl I’d had to deal with yesterday morning. Mia’s initial
reaction to seeing me when she obviously wasn’t expecting to was to freeze.
She’d instantly choked up, turned around, and stormed out the door she’d just entered.
I followed her out only because I’d been on my way out already but also because
I would’ve felt like a dick not checking to see if she was okay. I really did
care about her as a person, as my former best friend. She did manage to compose
herself though the pain was still there when we spoke.

The rest was pretty generic with her assuring me she was fine and
she just hadn’t been expecting to see me. “I thought for sure you’d be picking
up your tux later tonight when you were done with work. It’s why I took the
morning off to come by now.”

Of course, I didn’t tell her there was good reason why I’d chosen
to pick it up in the morning versus in the evening. My evenings now were very
much occupied whenever I wasn’t at the station, and I wasn’t about to interrupt
them. She did say one thing that I hadn’t been sure would be a good or bad
thing. Only her closest family members and, of course, the bride and groom knew
we were split now. Everyone else in the family knew nothing because she hadn’t
seen most of them, and she wasn’t going to pick up the phone just to tell them.

“So no need to feel like everyone is watching you, knowing what
happened. Even my closest family members don’t know all the details. They just
know we’re taking a break.”

Taking a break. I should’ve known that couldn’t be good. That
implied it wasn’t as final as it really was, but I decided I wouldn’t worry
about it. After today, I’d never have to see any of them again. How bad could
this be, right?

Bad.

It started off fine, though halfway down the aisle Mia started
crying. Not an ugly cry or even very noticeably. But one glance was all it took
for me to see the tears trickling down her face. That still wasn’t too bad.
Many guests in the pews were shedding tears too. Her crying could still be seen
as tears of joy for the bride and groom. Even though I had a feeling there was
more to them.

Then came the photo shoot immediately after the wedding. I was
forced to pose with Mia like a happy couple over and over. It didn’t stop at
the park we’d been taken to in the limo the entire wedding party shared. Everyone
had started partying early in the limo, including Mia who was taking shots. Mia
never took shots and for good reason. She couldn’t hold her liquor. Not tequila
anyway. If she stuck to wine, she was okay because she sipped slowly.

By the time we made it back to the reception, she was noticeably
tipsy. Again, it still wasn’t too bad. All the other girls were a little tipsy
too, and we’d all be eating soon so that would help sober her up.

As we sat at the wedding party table, she glanced up at me. “
You
look incredible,” she said as she sipped her glass of wine.

“Thank you.” I knew this was the tequila talking. She’d hardly
said a word to me earlier. “So do you.”

“Thank you,” she said, taking yet another sip of her wine. “But I
mean you look even bigger than the last time I saw you. I don’t know if it’s
the tux or the shirt and tie you were wearing yesterday, but when I saw you
yesterday, I couldn’t believe how much more muscle you seem to have. I was
taken too much by surprise yesterday to really get a good look, but”—she leaned
back and took me in from top to bottom—“wow.
Very
nice.”

Before I could respond, because I couldn’t decide if she was
being sarcastic or if it was the tequila still talking, she continued.

“I guess keeping up with a nineteen-year-old has you putting
longer hours in the gym.”

I smirked, picking up my glass of water and taking a sip.
Apparently, it was both sarcasm and the tequila.

“I guess so,” I said, unwilling to get sucked into any catty
verbal sparring with her.

The food being served helped pause the fun conversation we’d
begun having. The rest of the dinner had gone okay. Even the toasts were
painless, and she didn’t say anything about us as I was afraid she might. But
she kept drinking, and later we were asked more than once by unaware relatives
if we’d set a date yet, to which her blunt responses got worse each time.

“No, the wedding’s off.” When the inevitable was asked—
why?—
it
was as if she’d rehearsed it because she had several variations of answers:

“Because he likes them younger.”

“He fell in love with his young employee.”

“He went away on a business trip with his young female employee,
and when he got back, he decided he didn’t want to be engaged anymore.”

Each time I stood there as they all stared at me like they
weren’t sure she was kidding at first. Then, when they realized she wasn’t,
they glared at me like I was the biggest dick on the planet. Still, I refused
to get into it with her. I actually made light of it during one of the endless
photo sessions. She’d been asked to sit on my lap for this particular photo.
All the other couples in the party had done it, so there was no way I could be
a douche and refuse.

The lady making sure every hair was in place and all the tuxes
were perfect was another one of her unaware family members. I’d stopped tensing
up when I heard the question after the second time she gave them her very
honest and blunt answers as to
why
.

I decided I didn’t give a shit anymore. So when the inevitable
happened again, and this elderly lady, whoever she was, flattened her hand
against her chest in complete disappointment, I actually smirked and waited.

“Because, Madge,” Mia said, “he’s
doing
the little girl
that works for him.”

Madge’s eyes widened, but she didn’t seem to understand, so Mia
demonstrated with her arm as she did an inward fist thrust. Madge’s mouth fell
open, and she turned to me. I had no choice but to smile and shrug like an
idiot.

As soon as she walked away, I actually chuckled. “Good one,” I
said. “That one was your best one yet. The
doing
the little girl thing
was perfect for
Madge
. What is she ninety?”

“Thank you,” she said without missing a beat. “I’m particularly
proud of that one.”

“Nice touch with the obscene gesture by the way,” I said,
chuckling again. “Way to really drive it home.”

She giggled now. “I had to practice that at home, you know.”

When I laughed again, she turned to me and kissed me. Not just
any kiss either. She grabbed my face with both her hands and thrust her tongue
in my mouth. Though I didn’t give into the kiss and pulled away, the damage was
done. That’s when I knew she’d had way too much to drink and this night was
over for me. I should’ve known when I saw her do the obscene gesture that things
might get ugly. It was so unlike Mia.

I wondered if I’d been set up because the camera snapped away the
whole time. Others, like the bride and a few of the bridesmaids, snapped their
camera phones too.
Fuck
.

It was over as soon as it started because the moment her lips
were off mine I nudged her off and stood up. “But we’re not done,” the
photographer said.

“I am,” I said, stalking away, pissed at myself for actually
egging her on when she was clearly drunk.

I didn’t even have to explain to Luke why I was leaving early.
The formalities were all over anyway, and it really wasn’t
that
early.
It was almost eleven. I just wouldn’t be hanging around to dance the night away
as I’d considered doing earlier for Luke’s sake.

I’d confided in him about Henri and me. I didn’t even ask him
not
to share with his fiancée—Mia’s cousin. But he said he was not about to open
that can of worms and have her make him her go-between for information. But
since he knew, he understood.

“I saw everything,” he said as soon as I reached him.

“I gotta go.”

He nodded in understanding and thanked me for going through with
this when he knew it couldn’t have been easy. I said goodbye to the most
pertinent of guests and got out.

I’d been going over everything that happened, still wondering if
Mia possibly planned it that way but decided Madge couldn’t be
that
good
of an actress. The absolutely appalled expression on her face was classic. Mia
couldn’t have planned that. Even as I reached my car, I had to smirk. Once in
my car, I got the text from Mia and I read it.

I’ve forbidden anyone who got a photo of that to post it
anywhere public in case you’re worried about that. The hand gesture is as
immature as I get. I wasn’t just being sarcastic either. You really do look
amazing. Sorry. I just couldn’t help myself. Goodbye forever, my love. =(

Yes, I knew Mia wasn’t that immature
when she was sober
.
She was still drinking and in a herd of other drunk bridesmaids who’d likely
egg her on. Even then, I still thought Mia too classy to go there. But I
couldn’t risk it. I wouldn’t even wait until tomorrow when I’d be seeing Henri
again.

Things were already touch and go with the whole Edi thing. The
last thing I needed was to give her
any
reason to think California was
her best option if Edi really did leave. I groaned, knowing Henri’s apartment
was still an hour away. I’d keep my fingers crossed that Edi had either gone
out again and wasn’t home or they were asleep and Henri could sneak out for a
few minutes. But I had to talk to her now before anyone else got to her.

Chapter 20

Henri

Not since yesterday morning had Edi mentioned
transferring to ESU again. I actually cut short my day of making each other
feel better with Aaron yesterday so I could get home earlier than the norm to
talk to her.

To my surprise, she had friends over: two of the girls from her
volleyball team but thankfully not Astrid. Not that it mattered anymore, I just
thought it’d be too awkward to be around her, especially given the fact that
she’d warned Edi I’d only hurt her again and I had.

Another surprise was how sweet and inviting all three were with
me. I had to wonder if Edi had told them anything. They’d bought stuff to make
pizza from scratch. Her friend Iris had told them about her mom’s
to-die-for
homemade pizza. I actually hung out with them as we put the pizza together and
then baked it.

They’d bought beer, and we drank some and chatted for a while.
The pizza really was to die for. Like the times I’d spent with Edi in the last
few weeks catching a movie and going to the jazz fest, it was actually very
pleasant.

Considering what an awful morning we’d had, I knew my hopeful
heart was naïve to think she’d changed her mind about ESU so quickly. But
seeing how well she got along with her friends and how much she’d calmed, I let
my heart hope.

I let her know yesterday that I was free today again all day, in
case she wanted to plan something. She had to put in internship hours at the
hospital early in the day, but when she got home, we did laundry together then stocked
up on groceries. Again, the fact that we were shopping and she was talking in
terms of milk
for the week
and
enough
cold cuts gave me hope she
was at least not thinking about leaving in the immediate future.

We rented a couple of DVDs and had already watched one together.
When it was over, we got up for a late snack and remembered we still had the
leftover ingredients from last night’s pizza-making gathering. So we decided
we’d make it even as late as it was and eat it while watching the second movie
we’d rented. I was in the middle of spreading the cheese on the pizza when I
heard my phone ping. I ignored it, thinking if it was important they’d either
call or text again. Then I heard it ping again.

Edi was surprisingly in a good mood, and while I was curious as
to what caused the turnaround, I refused to ask and kill the mood. All I knew was
she’d invited the girls over yesterday to shake her from the blues and it
worked. At least for now.

After washing my hands, I decided to casually check my texts.
They were both from Aaron. The first one just asked if I was awake. The second
said he was outside because he’d left the wedding early but needed to talk to
me.

I frowned as I glanced up at Edi, who was still distracted
working on the pizza. She finished with the pizza, put it in the oven, and
pulled out a bowl and a bag of microwave popcorn.
Shit
.

How was I supposed to interrupt our girls’ night to tell her I
was leaving with Aaron, especially this late at night? There’d be no way she’d
buy this was purely business. I couldn’t. So I responded.

We’re making a late snack. Can this wait?

I knew Aaron would understand. But I had to wonder if maybe he’d
been drinking and that’s why he’d shown up like this so late. He couldn’t be
mad. If he were about to sit down and eat with someone, I couldn’t expect him to
just drop everything for me just because I wanted to talk to him.

I had to wince because I knew he probably would, even if it were
his parents or something. So I grumbled something about needing to use the
bathroom and walked in there before Edi would notice my distraction with my
texting. I really didn’t want to ruin this evening.

My phone buzzed this time because I’d turned off the ping, and I
braced myself, hoping he would say “okay” and really be okay with it.

Actually, under normal circumstances, I’d say, absolutely,
enjoy your evening, but I REALLY need to talk to you. Any chance you can say
you asked me to drop something off? Paperwork or some BS and just come out for
a few minutes? Either that or maybe I can call you? I’ll keep it short, I
promise.

I frowned, chewing my thumb nail. Which would be better? Taking
his call and risk Edi hearing and possibly ruining the perfectly pleasant day
we’d had so far. Or going out and talking to him quickly?

I decided the latter was safer and responded that I’d be out
there in a few. I walked out of the restroom and into the living room. Edi was
standing in front of the TV with the remote. The entire apartment smelled like
popcorn now. “Should we start it now or wait until the pizza is done?” she
asked.

“Actually, Aaron’s outside,” I said, and her expression
immediately tensed. “He’s just dropping off an assignment I forgot at the
office and really need to work on. I’ll only be a few minutes. We can start it
when I get back in.”

She nodded and glanced away to the TV again, but I hadn’t missed
the troubled expression in her eyes. I hurried out, wondering what in the world
could be this important it couldn’t wait. As if my stomach weren’t already
tense enough, the look on Aaron’s face was unnerving.

I wasn’t sure if he was upset that, because of my lack of courage
to come clean to Edi about us, my boyfriend had to be sneaky about seeing me.
Then something else dawned on me. As expected, he looked breathtaking in his
tux. He wasn’t even wearing the jacket. The vest was undone and so were his top
buttons, reminding me of our night in his room in Milwaukee. I could only
imagine what must’ve been going through Mia’s head when she’d seen him today
completely decked out.

I closed the door as I got in. “What’s going on?”

He had that hardened expression about him. Something was really
bothering him, and it only unnerved me further.

“Mia kissed me,” he said simply.

It was almost as if I heard wrong. It took my mind a moment to
let it register. “She kissed you?”

“Yeah, and I wouldn’t have even mentioned it—”

“On the lips?” I asked as it finally registered. He nodded, but
then something else hit me. “What do you mean you wouldn’t have mentioned it?”

“Because,” he said, lifting his hand, “it was so insignificant
and meaningless. It’s not like I kissed her back. She was just drunk.”

“Where were you?” I could feel my insides already heating.

No matter how hard I knew this whole break up must have been for
Mia, I would
never
feel sorry for her again. My head raced, trying to
picture how she could
just
kiss Aaron?

“Right there on in the middle of the reception hall. In front of
everybody. It’s not like we were alone anywhere.”

“How did she
just
kiss you,
Aaron
? And I take it
wasn’t just a peck or you wouldn’t be sitting here telling me about it.”

“She was on my lap and—”

“She was
what
?” I asked much louder than I expected.

“For a photo,” he said quickly, reaching for my hand. “Everyone
in the wedding party took a photo that way, and it was practically just a peck
because I pulled away, and it was over before it even started. Trust me, baby,
it was
nothing
. You know how I feel about her and how I feel about you.
The
only
reason I’m telling you is because the cameras were going. The
entire wedding was one awkward moment after another, so when she did that, I
called it a night and left. She texted me after I left to apologize and promise
she wouldn’t let anyone post the photos anywhere public, but they’re all drunk
right now. I was worried someone might anyway and you’d see it before I could
explain.”

I stared at him, somehow knowing that, as always, there wasn’t
anything insincere about what he was saying. “One awkward moment after
another?” I asked a little calmer. “Did she try anything else?”

“No, that’s was so surprising about her kissing me,” he said,
sounding a bit relieved that I wasn’t freaking out on him.

He explained how the first part of the wedding she’d barely
spoken to him and it wasn’t until the reception after she’d had a few that she
did talk to him but the entire conversation had been dripping with sarcasm.
There’d been a handful of backhanded compliments. He’d been pretty sure she
hated him now until that kiss.

“So, she’s still—”

“Doesn’t matter,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m over her and
completely into you.
You’re
all that matters now. That’s why I’m here. Even
though this is such a non-issue, I just didn’t want you to find out about this
any other way.”

I stared at my hand, feeling the guilt that here he was showing
me his complete devotion and I couldn’t just leave with him or invite him in
because my priorities were still divided. It made me feel so weak and
undeserving of him.

“Hey,” he said and I glanced up. “You believe that, right? That
you’re the only one who matters to me now?”

I nodded, taking a deep breath, then let my head fall back on the
head rest.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I wish I were as strong as you,” I said.

“Babe, you’re stronger than I am.”

“How can you say that?” I turned to him. “You’re
so
much
stronger than I am, not to mention patient. I don’t know that I’d have the
patience to deal with someone as pathetically weak as me.”

“Stop.” He squeezed my hand with that hardened expression again.
“I can’t even begin to imagine having to go through some of the things you did
and still have such a buoyant outlook on life. I think it’s what made me fall
in love with you in the first place. I was so damn impressed by you that first
time I talked to you. You’re gonna get through this.
We’re
gonna get
through it together. This is just another twist on that roller coaster you
spoke of, remember?” I stared at him, tilting my head, confused, and he smiled.
“ That first night you said you’d like to think every twist and turn you take
on this roller coaster ride of a life you’ve had is molding you into the person
you’ll someday be.”

“You remember that?” I asked, wondering how long it would be
before he stopped turning my insides to complete mush.

“I told you before, Henri. I remember everything about the
conversation that night. About
every
conversation we’ve had since. You
never cease to amaze me.”

“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered, feeling emotional suddenly.

“Nope.” He shook his head. “
I
don’t deserve you.” He
turned to my apartment as I stared at him, not thinking my heart could swell
any more than it already was. “You’ve been out here a while. Maybe you should
head back. I don’t want Edi getting upset.” He turned back to me, and I must’ve
looked as dreamy-eyed as I felt. “Only because I don’t want
you
getting
upset, but stop looking at me that way. I’m not
that
understanding or
patient, babe. I will be for now, but you have to know it won’t always be this
way. It’s inevitable that she’s gonna find out about us—”

“I know,” I said, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “It’s just
I need a little more time.”

“I said I’d be reasonable.” He lifted a brow. “So I’ll give you
more time, but this isn’t even about me, babe. After what I saw yesterday, I
just think the sooner you start dealing with this the better.”

I felt my smile flatten but decided to risk what initially I
wasn’t going to. I leaned over and kissed him softly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“See you tomorrow morning,” I said as I got out of the car.

As usual, he waited until I was all the way in the apartment, and
I waved from the window because Edi wasn’t in the front room or kitchen. I
noticed the TV wasn’t on anymore. And sitting on the table in front of it was
the popcorn, barely touched.

“Edi?” I asked, nervous suddenly that maybe she’d seen me kiss
Aaron goodbye.

Then I heard it, the familiar sound of her muffled whimpering,
and my heart nearly gave out. I rushed into her bedroom where she stood over
her bed, throwing clothes into her suitcase. She looked up at me, and I saw her
tear-streaked face the same as it was yesterday morning and the night before.

“What’s wrong? Where are you going?”

“Home.”

My insides hollowed out, and I felt sick to my stomach again like
yesterday morning. This was my worst nightmare. She was leaving just like this?
She wouldn’t. She
couldn’t
. Yet here she was packing frantically.

~*~

Aaron

I woke to two troublesome texts. The first was from
Mia. It’d been sent a little after two a.m. She’d attached the photo someone
had taken of
the
kiss. And
God damn it
if didn’t look at all like
the meaningless peck I’d described to Henri. I either closed my eyes and didn’t
remember doing so or someone took the picture just as I’d blinked. But it looked
like I was just as much into the damn kiss as she was. I stared at the picture
for a moment before reading the text she sent with it.

Don’t we look perfect together? Ruth said it should be
shared, so I’m sharing.

That had me sitting up straight as my heart began to pound. “The
fuck does that mean?”

The next text was from Henri, and I nearly choked when I read it
because I had a feeling now what the answer to my question was.

I’m flying out to California with Edi. I’ll call you
tomorrow.

This time I jumped out of bed, checking the time before hitting
speed dial on Henri’s number. It rang twice before she answered.

“Hello?”

“What happened?” I asked and somehow just the sound of her voice
soothed my panicked heart. But very little.

“I can’t talk right now,” she said in a lowered voice. “Give me a
few minutes and I’ll call you back.”