Defining Love: Volume 3 (Defining Love #3) (13 page)

“We’re gonna need an ambulance,” he said over his shoulder.

“No,” I said, panicking. “I’m fine, really. I just get really
lightheaded when I haven’t eaten, and I was on a plane all night.”

I rambled on, explaining, even as Magda chimed in agreeing that
if the paramedics thought I should be taken to the emergency room I should go.

“You don’t want to ignore a concussion, miss,” the paramedic
said. “There could be bleeding or swelling in the brain that needs to be taken
care of ASAP.”

Magda was already gasping all over the place, but I felt
ridiculous being fussed over so much. It was just a fender bender. I knew all I
needed was to get some food in me. “We’re going to the hospital anyway,” I
reminded Magda. “If I’m still not feeling well, I’ll go down to the emergency
room.”

They made me sign off that I was refusing to let them take me.
One of the older-looking paramedics approached us just as I signed. “Are you
her mother?” he asked Magda.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “But she’s a very close friend
of my daughter’s.”

He nodded. “Okay, well, all the signs are there. If the dizziness
continues or she experiences any nausea, she needs to go directly to the
emergency room.” He turned to me. “Nausea is a very bad sign. You’re not
feeling nauseous are you?”

I shook my head, wondering if I could possibly be that weak-minded
remembering how anytime I was asked if I needed to use the bathroom I didn’t
until the moment they asked. I hadn’t felt remotely nauseous until he mentioned
it, but I didn’t tell him.

“Well, if you do, even a little bit,” he added, “
do not
ignore it, young lady.”

I agreed and wondered what Aaron would say when I told him about
this. The last paramedic’s stern instructions had my stomach knotting up, but I
reminded myself I was fine. Not every one of the coffees had spilt over, and
the food was still intact. A little mushed but still eatable.

“You let me know if you’re still feeling dizzy or nauseous at all
as that fireman said,” Magda said as I bit into my sandwich. “We’ll run right
down to that emergency room. Swelling or bleeding in the brain sounds very
scary.” She gave me a look as stern as the last paramedic’s before adding, “I’m
sure Gemma will agree when you tell her about this that maybe you should go to
the emergency room regardless.”

I nodded, devouring my sandwich. We didn’t even make into to the
hospital when I threw up my entire breakfast and then some right outside in the
parking lot.

“That’s it,” Magda said, looking very frightened. “We’re going
straight to the emergency room.”

A part of me still felt tempted to argue, but another part felt
slightly alarmed. Bleeding or swelling brain.
Good God!
So I reluctantly
agreed. She called Edi to let her know. They already knew about us being rear
ended. Magda had called them earlier and then again later to let them know we’d
been cleared and were on our way back.

We rushed straight into the admitting area of the emergency room.
As soon as we, but mostly Magda, explained about the accident we’d just been in
and all my symptoms, how I refused to be taken in, and now I’d thrown up, they
hurried me in. It didn’t help that I felt even more lightheaded now and a
little disoriented. The only thing that had slowed them down from getting me in
any faster was a waiver I had to sign first. Since I was an adult and Magda
wasn’t even blood-related, they weren’t going to let her in with me, but I
wanted her there. So they made me sign a waiver saying I was okay with the
attendants disclosing information and asking private questions in front of
anyone I allowed in with me.

My head was really hurting now, so I asked for pain medicine, but
they needed some info from me before they could administer any. When I was
asked for the date of my last period, I couldn’t even remember. Thankfully,
Magda had stepped out just then to take a call because I would’ve been forced
to lie in the next line of questioning.

“But you usually remember?” the attendant asked, glancing up from
her clipboard.

“Well,” I thought about that. “Yeah. I think.”

She jotted something down on her clipboard. “Any chance you could
be pregnant?”

“Um, no.”

Her eyes studied me again. “You’re not sexually active?”

I glanced over to make sure Magda wasn’t on her way back. “I am,
but—”

“Have you experienced any other nausea or thrown up in the last
few days?”

I was about to say no when I remembered my hysterical episode
yesterday with Aaron. Last night when I thought Edi was leaving because she was
upset about Aaron and me, I’d also been a little nauseous, but I knew those
were completely unrelated.

“Yesterday,” I said.

“How many times?”

“Just once,” I lied.

“Have you been sick or do you know why you threw up?”

Oh for crying out loud, I
was not
pregnant, and my head was
really beginning to pound. But there was no way I was explaining how the memory
of my sister and my all-out freak out yesterday was what caused that.

“No, I haven’t been sick,” I said, feeling a bit irritated. “I
don’t know why I threw up. I just did.”

She jotted something down then smiled, seemingly unconcerned
about my less-than-patient sounding response. “Let me just have you take a
urine test real quick so we can rule out that you’re pregnant before we
administer any painkillers. We can still give you some if you are,” she said
reassuringly. “But this way we know which
not
to give you.”

To my relief, Magda still wasn’t back when I got back from peeing
in a cup. Even a while later, she still hadn’t returned. It worried me. I hoped
the baby’s condition hadn’t taken a turn and maybe that was why she’d been gone
so long. A few minutes later, she was finally back with Edi
and
Esme.

As long as we’d been delayed with the accident, Esme had already
gone home and returned. Her husband was with the baby now. They said they’d
been out in the parking lot assessing the damage to Magda’s car and that’s what
had taken her so long to get back. I’d been icing my head with the ice pack I’d
been given. Esme asked me to lift it so they could see the bump and I did.

“
Ow!
” Edi said, staring at my head a bit horrified. “And
you didn’t wanna come to the emergency room with that big ole knot on your
head?”

“I didn’t think it was that big a deal,” I said, shrugging. “I
still don’t. My head just really hurts.”

“Did they ever get you those painkillers you asked for?” Magda
asked.

The attendant entered just then, holding her clipboard with two
little paper cups on it. “Your test came back positive, so I can’t give you
morphine, but you can take these.”

She handed me one of the little cups and explained it was 800
milligrams of ibuprofen then walked over to the water dispenser to fill the
other cup.

It didn’t even register what she’d just said until I was staring
down at the cup with the pills and Magda asked, “Positive for what?”

“The pregnancy test she took is positive,” the attendant said,
handing me the cup of water. “Good news is that nausea, which is normally a
very
bad sign, if in fact you do have a concussion, in this case may likely have
nothing to do with it.”

The rest of what she explained about my vitals and other symptoms
were drowned out by the buzz in my ears. Edi’s eyes were locked on mine. I knew
I hadn’t cheated on her. I knew I never betrayed her while we were still a
couple, but the hurt in her eyes said it all. Everything I’d denied so
vehemently the other night about her fears that what she’d always known would
happen one day was happening. She was forced to witness the love of her life fall
for someone else, and she just couldn’t deal with it.

I vaguely recalled what Magda and Esme said as they excused
themselves to leave. Something about giving us a moment and them checking on
the baby. Edi stayed but, even after they’d walked out, didn’t immediately say
a word. The room felt heavy with suffocating silence Then she finally spoke.

“You’re having a baby,” she whispered as her voice broke.

Those four little words spoken with so much emotion jolted me out
of the daze I’d been in and into the harsh reality. Two vows I’d made in life
had just been shattered. I’d spent almost my entire life vowing I’d never bring
a child with the blood of those two monsters into this world, and the last
several years I’d spent vowing I’d never give Edi reason to leave me—that I’d
never lose her. Now I sat there knowing for a fact there was child growing in
me, and I could see it in Edi’s wounded expression: my two worst nightmares were
becoming realities.

I nearly fell while scrambling off the bed to get to the waste
basket because I knew was going to be violently sick.

Chapter 22

Aaron

I hadn’t heard from Henri since that morning’s phone
call. I kept replaying our conversation, trying to remember anything I might’ve
missed as a sign of her being upset with me. I’d yet to hear back from Mia too.
I’d responded to her text, asking what she meant by “share.” Was it possible
she had shared it somewhere where it’d gotten back to Henri?

That wasn’t like Mia at all, but then a text sent at that ungodly
hour could mean only one thing. She’d been drunk, and she wasn’t herself when
she was drinking. I’d also tried calling and texting Henri more than once after
several hours of not hearing from her. It was already past eleven that night
and still nothing. I was the last one at the office and about to call it a
night when my phone rang. I rushed to my desk where my phone sat and picked it
up, glancing at the screen. Mia.

“Hey,” I answered.

“Hey yourself.” She sounded groggy. “Sorry if you were expecting
to hear from me sooner. My phone was dead when I finally crawled out of bed
today. I put it on the charger but ended up crawling back into bed after being
sick and taking some aspirin. I’ve been in bed all day and just now turned it
on.”

“Did you share that photo anywhere?” I asked, not bothering to
acknowledge anything else she’d just said.

“I don’t think so.”

“What do you
mean
—?”

“Look,” she said, raising her voice a bit. “I’m calling you
because my head is still too foggy for me to concentrate on texting. I barely
remember sending that text in the first place, and considering how wasted I was
when I did, I doubt I was able to share it anywhere else, but I don’t see it on
any of my other social media sites or that I sent it to anyone else. So I don’t
think
so. You know I wouldn’t do something like that, but then normally
I’d never drink as much as I did last night either.” She paused and sighed.
“Just about everyone I know was there yesterday. So they all pretty much know
now, not just that you and I are a done deal but
why
.” She groaned.
“Believe it or not, my explanations got even more obnoxious once you left.
Posting that picture anywhere would only make me look stupid. Trust me. If I do
find out it’s been posted anywhere, I’ll be sure to get it down ASAP.”

I smirked, remembering her Aunt Madge’s expression yesterday. But
I refused to apologize for any embarrassment she might be feeling over this.
That was all her doing.

She was in the middle of apologizing for her childish behavior
yesterday when my other line beeped. The moment I saw it was Henri, I cut Mia
off and clicked over.

“Hey, baby, I was getting worried.”

She didn’t immediately say something, and I almost began to say
something again until she spoke. Only it wasn’t her.

“Henri asked me to call you,” she said.

I couldn’t be sure, but if I had to guess, it was Edi. I squeezed
my eyes shut, grimacing, and sat on the edge of my desk. After the initial
alarm of knowing I might have just fucked up, something else hit me. “Is this
Edi?”

“Yes,” she said simply.

“Why didn’t
she
call me?” I asked, straightening up a bit.

“She’s not feeling well,” she said, spiking my already alarmed
insides. “She was in a minor car accident this morning where she bumped her
head. She wasn’t even taken in to the emergency room.”

Edi explained about how the accident had occurred on the way back
to the hospital from Starbucks that morning. They’d been rear ended, and Henri
had insisted she was fine despite the paramedics suggesting she be taken in
because they feared she had a concussion. When Edi’s mom and Henri arrived at
the hospital, Henri had thrown up in the parking lot, so they went straight to
the emergency.

“They weren’t going to admit her at first,” she explained, but
she started throwing up again.
A lot
. So they decided to admit her. They
wanna keep her overnight to keep her hydrated and watch her closely. She’s got
a pretty nasty hematoma in the frontal part of her head, and the doctors want
to make sure there is no hemorrhaging.”

“Which hospital?”

I’d been on my feet from the moment I heard concussion and
throwing up. I was already locking everything up as I listened to Edi go on.

“It’s not as bad as it sounds. The doctors even said they really
don’t think it’s too bad. Her speech is fine; she’s not confused or dizzy
anymore. It’s been over twelve hours now, and she’s showing no signs of post-concussive
syndrome. Except for the continued nausea, she’s fine.”

Her use of the medical terminology so casually made me remember
she was a pre-med student already interning at a hospital. Surely she had to
know a head injury followed by any nausea should not be taken lightly.

I set the alarm and locked the front door. “Which hospital?” I
asked again.

“You don’t need to come all this way—”

“She’s had a head injury and she’s throwing up,” I said, stopping
before I got in my car, feeling the frustration mount.

“The CT scan is showing no swelling or bleeding at all. They just
want to keep her overnight to make sure it’s nothing so slow they haven’t
caught it and then do another one before releasing her tomorrow morning.”

“I need the name of the hosp—”

“She doesn’t want you here.”

My hand froze at the handle of my car. “What?”

“She’s confused,” Edi said quickly. “Not about where she’s at or
what day it is. She just has a lot to think about right now. She said she knew
you’d want to fly out, but there’s nothing you could do for her here, and she
needs time to think.”

“Think about what?” I asked, my insides going hollow. “Have you
two talked?”

I was done tiptoeing around this subject. Clearly, Edi knew
something or she wouldn’t be calling me. She wouldn’t be telling me Henri knew
I’d want to fly out to be with her. And she certainly wouldn’t be telling me
Henri didn’t want me there.

“Yes,” she said, her voice lowering a bit. “I told her I’m only
going back to Michigan to get my things and I’m transferring to ESU. I can’t be
out there anymore.”

“What about her?” I asked, my heart aching for Henri already and
worried about her reaction to that, especially given her condition.

“She didn’t say. She’s had a long day. It wasn’t until once she
was very groggy and ready to pass out that she asked if I could just text you
to tell you about the fender bender. That she was just being kept overnight for
observation and she’d call you tomorrow. I had a feeling you’d need more than
that. I know I would.”

That confused me as much as it began to set me off. “So she
didn’t actually tell you to tell me she doesn’t want me there.”

That was a pretty bold fucking statement to be making on her own,
given what she just said Henri had told her to text me.

“She did actually,” she said matter-of-factly. “She’d mentioned
it earlier when we discussed my transferring back here. My internship and
classes in Michigan are fulfilled for this semester, so I don’t need to go back
just yet. I need to stay here for a few weeks. But the lease on the apartment
is paid up for the next two months. I told her to let me know when she wanted
to go back and my mom would book her a flight. She said she wasn’t sure when
she’d go back either. That’s when she mentioned she was going to ask you not to
come out because she needed time to think about what she’d be doing. I’d hate
for you to fly out here because of my call. I just thought she should call you
tonight, give you more than the text she suggested. I told her so, but she said
she wanted to wait until tomorrow to talk to you. Sleep on it. In her defense,
Aaron, she’s really had a
long
ass day today. We were up all night on
that flight. At least I got to go home and sleep for a few hours, but you know
how concussions are. They won’t let you sleep for very long without waking you
to check your vitals and quiz you. I think they’re finally gonna let her sleep
for longer than an hour at a time.”

Once she’d told me everything she could, including the name of
the hospital Henri was in, even though I promised I’d wait to hear from Henri,
I thanked her and hung up. I understood now why Henri was so loyal to Edi. Just
like with Mia, both were genuinely sweet people who truly cared about us. I
could see Mia making such a painful call to Henri if the tables were turned. As
much as I did love Mia, and Henri so honestly admitted she loved Edi, it just
wasn’t the kind of love they needed from us.

It wasn’t the kind of love Henri and I felt for one another. The
kind your heart is so inherently invested in you could never let go. I knew
Henri had demons she needed to deal with, emotional scars that made her
think
she needed Edi in her life to be complete. But I had none. Zero. I’d lived a
charmed life and
knew
I couldn’t live without Henri.

I’d been with a near-perfect girl long enough to know the
difference between love and
extraordinary
love. The kind of love you
fight for with every fiber of your being. Mia was perfect in almost every way
except one. She wasn’t the perfect girl
for me
. Henri was, and now that
I’d been fortunate enough to find her, I’d be damned if I was letting her go.

I had every intention of fighting for Henri. I’d let her sleep on
it. I’d let her think about it until I talked to her again. Then, whether she
liked it or not, I’d be on a plane to go claim what was rightfully mine. There
wasn’t the faintest doubt in my mind anymore, and I wondered now if there ever
had been. From the moment I first spoke to her, Henri was my soul mate and I
was hers.

~~~

Because of the time difference, I booked a flight later
in the afternoon to give Henri a chance to get up and feel she’d had enough
time to call me. I didn’t want to be on a plane when she tried to call since I
was four hours ahead of her. But my bags were packed and ticket was bought.
Regardless of what she said to me on that phone, I was leaving today and wasn’t
coming home without her. Even if it meant putting my job and business on hold
for days if for whatever reason she wasn’t released from the hospital or she
refused to come back right away.

I’d gone into the office to let everyone know that I was leaving
half day. Bea could close up since she was still coming in every now and again
and today was one of those days. Everyone would have a full day today, but I
let them know the rest of the week was up in the air and I’d send them notice
as soon as I knew something.

The call I’d been waiting on all morning finally came at around eleven,
so I knew it was one of the first things she was doing since it was only around
eight in the morning in California. I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad
thing, but I braced myself.

“Hey,” I answered cautiously since the last call I’d answered had
been Edi on the other line.

This time it wasn’t Edi. It was Henri. “Hey,” she said, sounding
a bit down, and my heart sped up a little.

“How you feeling?”

“Better. I’m, uh, being released soon. There’s no hemorrhaging or
swelling, so they said I’m good to go but I’ll have to follow up with my own
doctor in a few weeks.”

Her own doctor. There in California? Several weeks?

I cleared my throat, doing my best not to sound pushy or
insensitive. She wasn’t even out of the hospital yet. But I had to know where
her head was with this. Still, I decided I’d go slowly.

“How’s the baby doing?”

“Much better. She went home last night.”

“That’s good,” I said, closing my eyes before I asked my next
question. “So does that mean you’re coming home too?”

The silence, while it only lasted seconds, felt like an eternity.
“I’m not actually. I have some things I need to take care of here first.”

“Things like what, Henri?” I asked but caught myself before I
could sound harsh.

“There are decisions I need to make,” she said softly. “Big
decisions I need to really think about. Life-changing decisions. You said it
yourself. I’m not one to make those so hastily.”

“Life-changing?” I asked, sitting up at my desk. “What decisions
would those be?”

Was she seriously considering going back to a life she already
knew was a lie? Leave me because she thought . . . “Do you love me?” I asked
her before she could answer because suddenly I was terrified of what her answer
might be.

“Yes, but—”

“Don’t say it,” I said, feeling like a coward. “I already know
how you feel about Edi. You don’t have to say it. But it’s the same way I feel
about Mia, baby. Don’t you see the difference? Can you really see yourself
happy without me? Because I
know
I can’t be happy without you. Would you
seriously consider moving thousands of miles away from me? Just because—”

“There are things I have no control over.” She was crying now but
not hysterical like the other day. “Things I don’t ever think I’ll feel
differently about no matter what.”

“Like what?” I asked, my patience wearing thin, despite hearing
how emotional she was getting. Hearing her say “no matter what” was fucking
infuriating. “Like that you can’t live without Edi?” I got up to close my
office door because I could feel myself getting heated. “Are you choosing to
leave me to follow Edi back to California? Is that what you’re saying?”

“What did you think was going to happen, Aaron?” Now she sounded
angry too. “That you’d marry your little girlfriend who’s all fucked in the
head, and we’d live happily ever after?”

“Sure, why not?” I retorted with just as much conviction. “You
said you’re going back to therapy. You’ll get help with your issues, so why
can’t
we live happily ever after? I love you and you love me, right? Isn’t that all
that matters? We can get through anything else, baby, I swear to you.”