Defining Love: Volume 3 (Defining Love #3) (9 page)

I knew any jealousy over what he might do with Mia at that
wedding or because of what he might feel when he saw her again was unwarranted.
Not only did I believe how very genuine his love for me was, I could
feel
it. Even in the short span of time that this had become a reality—Aaron and I
were officially together—I could feel his love for me grow more profound with
every single kiss we exchanged. I knew I wasn’t just imagining it either
because my love for him was deepening just as fast, as was the lingering fear
that, like Edi and everyone else, he’d ultimately leave me too. Only my fear
that he’d leave was much realer than my paranoia and issues with self-worth.

With everything going on, I’d completely forgotten about that
wedding. It did stand to reason that with all that had happened in the last
week he’d forgotten to bring it up too. Only this changed things. I wasn’t
aware that he’d had a lunch date with the groom
yesterday
to discuss his
toast at the wedding. Yesterday, when Aaron had left during lunchtime, all he
said was he had a lunch meeting and errands to run. I hadn’t even questioned
it, and he didn’t mention it when he got back.

I still wasn’t questioning it and certainly not jumping to any
conclusions. Maybe it was just a subject he’d prefer to stay off. I wasn’t
exactly being completely forthcoming about a few other sore subjects either.
But it still made me curious.

Within an hour, our desks and boxes were packed up, and we drove
to our new workplace. The office space was set up so that there was one big
enclosed office in the back, which of course would be Aaron’s. Next to his was
a smaller one, the only other enclosed office in the place. The rest of the
room consisted of six much-less-private cubicles separated only by short
partitions. Aaron had already interviewed a few candidates he’d be hiring to
start filling these six cubicles, but there was still room to add more, and at
the rate the business was expanding, he’d likely need to.

Since, of the three current employees, I put far more hours in
and because he now had me working on his EPG apartment project, Aaron reasoned
I should take the other enclosed office. Bea’s brows were immediately at
attention.

Aaron caught the look but didn’t seem fazed by it at all.

“She’ll be putting in even more hours this summer when she’ll cut
down on the amount of classes she takes during a regular semester. I know you
and Eileen are just waiting for me to hire enough help so you can bail.”

“We never said we wouldn’t help you if you needed us,” Bea
countered a bit too defensively.

Aaron turned to her with a smile. “And I know you would if I did,
sweetheart. I’m just saying once I have enough help you won’t have to. With you
two gone, I’ll need Henri to run the show on the days I’m not here. All of the
potential new hires I have coming in to interview next week are older than she
is. Regardless, they need to know and respect who’s in charge when I’m not
here, so having her in one of the private offices from the beginning sets
precedent.” He turned to me next. “The days you sit in for me I actually want
you in
my
office.”

With that, it was settled, and Bea seemed satisfied with his
explanation. I stood in my office now, feeling weirdly excited but nervous at
the same time. Aaron was showing such confidence in my ability to
run the
show
when he wasn’t there. This was only the second job I’d
ever
had. As comfortable as I was practically running the entire EPG apartment
project, I wasn’t sure if I was ready for subordinates.

The movers finished bringing in everything, and it was just
Aaron, Bea, and I until three when she left. Aaron meandered into my office as
soon as Bea was out the door with that smoldering gleam in his eye I knew all
too well now.

“What do you say we break in your new office?” he asked as I
turned my body around to face him completely.

Instantly, he had me pinned against my desk, his bulging erection
against my upper thigh, igniting my arousal. I wondered how much longer we’d be
able to get away with this. Already he’d begun to refer to me very casually as
Henri in front of Bea and Eileen versus his much more professional-sounding
Henrietta as he had until things took such a wild change. Then there was the
fact that I’d begun to make it a point to wear skirts or clothes that were much
more easy access for this kind of thing.

His hand thrust up my skirt as he lifted me onto the desk and
devoured my mouth.
God,
this would never get old. Something fell off my
desk as he pushed me onto it further, and I turned to see what it was. “Leave
it,” he said against my lips as he pulled my panties down and lifted my skirt
higher. “Whatever it is, I’ll buy you another one.”

I giggled, reaching for the top button of his pants and undoing it,
then unzipped him, feeling crazed as he continued to suck my tongue.

“You guys should really lock the door.”

Aaron jerked off me but used his body to shield me as we both
turned to see Bea looking half stunned half disgusted just outside my office
door. She shook her head and stormed away as I frantically pulled down my skirt
to cover up. Aaron continued shielding me until I nudged him gently to let him
know he could move away so I could get off my desk.

He fumbled with the front of his pants before rushing out, and
followed Bea to the cubicle she’d been setting up her things at earlier.

“I forgot my phone charger,” I heard her say and wanted to crawl
under my desk. There was no way I was walking out there to face her. “Jesus,
Aaron, really? Mia gives you ten years and you do this to her?”

“I didn’t do anything to her.”

“Really? So what do you call Henri?”

“My girlfriend now, Bea, and I need you to respect that,” he said
firmly. “She had nothing to do with my decision to break things off with Mia.”

I heard her scoff. “Oh, I’m sure what you two were doing in there
is the first time ever and had
nothing
to do with it,” she retorted, not
sounding the least bit convinced. “I gotta go. I’m in a hurry. Sorry I
interrupted. You can get back to your innocent
work
now. Just lock the
door, will you?”

She stalked away, and Aaron didn’t say another word. I watched
him walk out of my sight to lock the door no doubt. I’d never felt so mortified
in my life. How in the world would I ever face her again?

Within minutes, Aaron was at my office door, holding on to the
door frame on either side of him with both hands.

“Oops,” he said with earnest eyes. “My bad. I got so ahead of
myself I completely forgot about locking the door.”

He walked toward me when I didn’t say anything and wrapped his
arms around my waist, kissing my forehead softly. “She’ll get over it,” he said
but didn’t seem too concerned by even this. “They’re all gonna have to.”

“But this,” I said, pointing at my desk. “This is
not
how
I wanted your family to find out. Oh my God!” I gasped. “What if she tells your
mother?”

I’d only met Aaron’s mom twice, but I’d heard enough to know the
woman could be a firecracker when aggravated. I’d already been nervous about
the prospect of Aaron bringing me around his family and letting them know he
was with me now. This was the
worst
way they could find out.

“She’s not gonna tell my mother,” she said reassuringly.

“How do you know? You said yourself they’ve always been very
close and united when it comes to Mia.”

“Because I’ll tell her not to. This,” he said, motioning to the
desk, “is not a detail of my private life my mom needs to know about. I don’t
mind if Bea tells her I’m in love with you and we’re together now. I told you
I’ve only held off saying anything to anyone about this because you want me to,
but I don’t have a problem with them knowing.” He smirked. “I’d rather not hear
my mom’s opinion of this, but we’re two consenting adults, Henri. I’m,
personally, not too concerned if she does hear about it, but for your sake, I’ll
talk to Bea and make sure she doesn’t tell her.”

“When?” I asked anxiously.

This would be my only saving grace if I could at least know his
parents wouldn’t be hearing about this. Maybe then seeing them again as his
girlfriend
—the
one I’m sure everyone in the happy family I met on New Year’s Eve would forever
blame for his and Mia’s breakup—could be slightly less painful.

“As soon as I talk to her,” he said, pecking me sweetly.

“Call her now,” I said, and before he could protest, I gave him
my most pathetic pleading expression. “
Please!
”

He leaned against my forehead again with a groan then let go of
me. “I’ll get my phone.”

This time I followed after him like an anxious kid. His phone was
on his desk, and he picked it up, shaking his head as he tapped his screen even
as he kissed his fingers and blew it my way.

“Bea,” he said. “I need you do me a favor. I don’t care if you
tell Mom and Dad about Henri and me. It’s just a matter of time before everyone
knows anyway. Just keep what you saw today to yourself, please.” He was quiet
for a moment then rolled his eyes but smirked. “No, actually, I really don’t
give a shit about that either. But Henri does, so I’m asking you to please not
say anything.”

I waited anxiously as he listened to whatever Bea was saying now,
and then he spoke again. “Up to you. I don’t care if she knows either. She’ll
find out soon enough too. But if you care as much about her as you say you do,
you may wanna spare her the gory details.” Whatever she said next, to my
surprise, made him smile, and he nodded. “Yes, I am.
Very
happy.” He
glanced up at me and mouthed the words
I love you
with an even bigger
smile, making me clutch my hands at my chest and my heart double over. “I love
you too,” he said into the phone. “And thanks. I’ll let her know. She’ll be
glad to hear it.”

He hung up, put the phone down, and then hurried around his desk
to where I stood, pulling me to him. “You see? I told you she’d get over it.”

“Is she really?” I asked incredulously but even more relieved.

“Yep, she said in a weird way she’s glad she can finally stop
hoping, and she asked if I was really happy, to which of course I said ‘yes, v
ery
happy,’ and she said that’s all she’s ever wanted for me. She also asked me to
tell you there aren’t any bad feelings, she understands why you’d keep it from
her, and she’s happy for you too.”

“Oh thank God,” I said, the relief enormous. “I still don’t know
how I’ll ever face her again, but I’m glad she’s not angry at me.”

“Did you hear everything she said before she left?”

“Yes!” I shook my head in frustration.

I yelped in surprise when he spun me around and pinned me against
his desk, his hand already moving up my skirt. “So you heard her say we could
get back to what we were doing?”

I laughed as he kissed me, but it wasn’t a ravenous kiss like his
earlier ones. It was soft, sweet, and so profound I had to take a deep breath
and once again ponder how in the world I got this lucky.

Chapter 18

Aaron

It was no surprise that my parents would disagree about
my being with Henri now. My dad said if it was what my heart wanted then that’s
who I belonged with. My mom, of course, was worried about several things. Henri
had been right about Bea telling my mom. My sister had kept her promise and not
told my parents about walking in on us, but she had shared with my mom
previously about me admitting I was in love with Henri. So my mom was worried I
was acting on impulse because I’d become
infatuated
with Henri.

It took my mom a while to come around, but several weeks after
Bea’s unexpected discovery and my officially telling my parents about Henri and
me, Mom asked me to bring her over for dinner. Henri had been understandably
nervous about meeting my parents again, this time as my girlfriend, not my much
younger sister’s friend. I told her she didn’t have to if she didn’t feel ready
to, but she said she may as well get it over with.

To my surprise, my mom’s first impression of Henri, which she’d
never bothered to share with me before, was completely different from the
impression Henri had first made on me. My mom said Henri came across as
painfully meek. Almost to a fault.

“When Beatriz first introduced her new friend that time you
picked them up from the show, her voice was a near whisper and almost it seemed
as if she were trying to hide behind one of the other girls.”

This time she said she seemed a little less bashful but could
understand why she’d be. Still, she said there was something that seemed
uncomfortably reticent about her. I got the feeling my dad had coached my mom
beforehand to not be too probing on their first real meeting with Henri because
she didn’t ask too much of her as expected. But she did grill me the next day
when she called to discuss her.

“So, she’s only here for school but lives in California,” she
began, and I knew exactly where she was going with this. “You seem very adamant
that she’s the one,
mijo
. It makes me nervous. Have you given any
thought to what happens once she goes back?”

“Not a whole lot” was the most I’d give her because it was the
truth. “It’s so early on in our relationship, and she still has
years
left of school here. Anything can happen between now and then.”

~~~

Another thing my mother had been worried about was,
since Henri was so young, it could be another long wait before we moved to the
next level. “You’re twenty-nine, Aaron. I know
you
think you’re still a
spring chicken, but if you wait another ten years with this one, you’ll be
pushing forty. You don’t want to wait
that
long to start a family.”

I had to laugh. At least she’d moved on from insisting she still
believed Mia was my soul mate to something new to nag about. It’d been weeks
since Henri’s dinner with my parents. In the end, like Bea, my mom said all she
wanted was for me to be happy and would pray I didn’t live to regret this
decision. She did ask for one thing that I actually agreed with. She thought it
would be disrespectful, not just to Mia but to her family, to bring Henri to
the wedding. Unlike my parents, who refused to call Mia their daughter-in-law
until we were officially married, Mia’s parents had been calling me their
son-in-law for
years
. My mom was certain they were as devastated by the
breakup as Mia was.

“Why risk possibly ruining your best friend’s wedding,” my mom
had warned, “if someone in Mia’s family gets a little too much liquid courage
in them and decides to confront you or Henri?”

Thankfully, not only was Henri not upset, she’d admitted to being
worried I might be expecting her to come with me. So it was settled. Tomorrow
I’d be spending an entire day away from Henri in what would probably be the
most awkward day of my life: escorting Mia down a wedding aisle in front of her
entire family as they all watched knowing I’d pretty much left her at the
altar. And I had no idea if any or
how
many of them knew I’d moved on so
quickly.

I glanced down at the clock on my dash to check the time. Last
night had been another first for Henri and me. Ever since I’d gotten the new
bedroom set, we’d spent a lot of time in there. Last night after a few rounds,
we’d knocked out, and for the first time, I awoke with her in my arms. The
bliss was short-lived because, the moment she woke up and realized we’d fallen
asleep and that it was so late, she shot out of bed in a panic. She’d yet to
spend the night at my place and said she couldn’t until she could tell Edi
about us, but frustratingly, she still wasn’t ready to.

I wondered now if, because I’d brought her home so late, she had
overslept this morning. She knew I was picking her up at ten. It was a quarter
after, and she still hadn’t come out. To my relief, the door to her apartment
opened, and she walked out. I watched as she plodded along pensively. Something
seemed off, but it wasn’t until she got in my car that I realized she was
crying.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, immediately alarmed.

She shook her head, but her face scrunched, alarming me even
further. “I can’t,” she said, but she could barely speak and didn’t go on.

“You can’t what?” I reached out and touched her thigh.

“I can’t talk about it here,” she choked out the words. “Can we
please just go?”

I put the car in gear but only drove a few blocks until I finally
pulled over because she began sobbing.

“Baby, what happened?”

Taking a deep breath, she wiped her eyes and attempted to compose
herself. “Edi is talking about moving back to California and transferring from
Michigan State to ESU. She’s already been researching it.” She took a trembling
breath but wasn’t able to calm herself. She was becoming hysterical. “And she’s
even looked into dorms for me here so she won’t leave me hanging because she
says she can’t do this. She can’t take it. So she’s leaving me. Leaving me,
Aaron! Just like everyone else ever has.” She banged the inside of my door,
crying even more uncontrollably, and I reached for her hand, but she pushed my
hand away. “Just like you will!”

I reached for her hand again and took it, even though she tried
to pull it away. “I’m not leaving you,” I said into those inconsolable eyes
even as she shook her head frantically.

“Yes, you are!” she screamed, continuing to try to free her hand
from mine.

“No, I’m not,” I said again with even more conviction. “And
neither is Edi. She’s just hurting, sweetheart. She probably just needs to be
with her family.”

“And what about me!” she screamed, finally undoing her hand from
my hold. “What about me? Who do
I
have? She’s leaving me, and I’ll be
all alone again.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, raising my voice, not
because I was angry, but because I needed her to hear me over her own sobbing.
“You have me and Bea—”

“Until you leave me too!”

“I
am not
leaving you!”

“You will!” she cried. “You will! Everybody does!”

I got out of the car and rushed around, my own throat
constricting as my heart broke for Henrietta. I knew she’d been afraid of
losing Edi, but I had no idea how deep that fear ran, and I could kick myself
now for not being more understanding about this.

I opened the door, but her face was buried in her hands, and her
entire body shook with continued sobs. “Henri, baby,” I said, kneeling down so
I could be closer because suddenly I didn’t think it was such a good idea to
ask her to step out. Someone might call the cops if they heard her. “I’m not
going anywhere, and I think you’re misunderstanding Edi wanting to leave. She’s
not leaving
you;
she’s trying to get over a broken heart.”

“It doesn’t matter, Aaron,” she said, still staring at her hands.
“She’s still leaving me—wants nothing to do with me—and you will too.”

“
Why
do you keep saying that?” It was a struggle, but I
was trying not to let the frustration get to me. “I love you. Damn it. I’m not
going anywhere.”

“You will when you find out . . .”

I froze even as I stared at her still shuddering body. “Find out
what?” I asked as calmly as I could. She didn’t respond only continued to sob.
“Find out what, Henri?”

Normally, at a terrifying moment like this, I’d have a million
things assaulting my thought process. At the moment, I couldn’t think of a
single thing I could find out that would make her think I’d leave her. The only
things that surfaced were my contradicting feelings about her excitement over
spending time with Edi a few of the days I’d reported to the station in the
past weeks. She’d said the time they’d spent together had been very
pleasant
.
“It almost felt like old times,” was how she’d explained it.

They’d gone to the movies one of the days then gone out for
burgers. Another one of the days they’d spent the entire day at a blues
festival downtown. She said she felt as if things might be getting back to how
they once were, but now I wondered what exactly that meant.

I remembered feeling happy for her. I hated that genuine fear
that flashed in her eyes whenever we spoke of the possibility of Edi not ever
being able to accept them as
just
friends. So seeing her so happy about
the time they’d spent together was a relief. I really had been happy for her,
but a part of me couldn’t help worrying. Maybe things had been pleasant for
other reasons.

The thought of Henri and Edi being intimate was generally an
arousing one. As arrogant and immature as I knew it was to feel nothing more
than aroused at the thought, I’d never felt so incredibly ignorant than I did
at that moment. All this time, despite everything Henri had told me, I’d
considered Edi harmless to my relationship with Henri. Like a punch in the gut,
the reality hit me just then. Edi posed a
real
threat, and it didn’t get
more apparent than at that moment as I watched Henri sobbing over the thought
of losing her.

Suddenly, I realized that, in my utter stupidity, I hadn’t
considered the fact that my girlfriend still
living
with her ex was a
problem. Her ex, regardless of her gender, was still very much in love with
my
girl. Henri had been happy about spending an entire Sunday at a romantic jazz
fest with her ex and had been glowing the next day about the fact that it felt
like
old times
.

“Henri,” I said as a sudden heat engulfed me. “Look at me.”

She shook her head, refusing to lift her face from her hands as
the frustration I was now feeling with myself for having been so fucking stupid
mounted. Yesterday everything had been fine. What happened between now and then
that triggered the sudden turmoil that had us sitting here with Henri bawling
her eyes out?

“What is it she can’t take anymore?” I asked as calmly as I
could.

Her sobbing calmed a bit as if maybe she realized I was on to
something. I reached over her under the armrest and pulled out a napkin,
handing it to her. She wiped her nose and dabbed her eyes as she continued to
sniffle but still wouldn’t look at me.

“Does she know you and I—?”

“No!” she finally looked at me, her face in complete shock. “I
can’t tell her, Aaron, especially not now. She’s seriously thinking about
leaving! Don’t you understand? If I admit the truth, she’ll for sure leave.”

“So what changed?” I asked, doing my damnedest not to snap.
Obviously, this was a lot harder for her than I could understand. “Why today?
Did something happen between you two?”

She wiped her eyes, sniffing some more. “She was upset last night
when I got home so late. She kept telling me to just admit something was going
on between you and me, but I couldn’t. This . . .” Henri pointed at herself.
“This was her last night. She was
this
upset. How could I tell her?” She
shook her head. “We finally went to bed, but this morning I overheard her on
the phone with her sister. I heard her telling her she’s feeling homesick, how
she’s thinking of transferring to ESU. She didn’t mention any of that last
night, so when she got off the phone, I asked her if she was serious, and that
was when she told me about how she’s been looking into it and then said she was
researching how I could get a dorm or maybe another student roommate. In other
words, she doesn’t want me to come with her.”

“Baby, maybe it’s for the best,” I said.

“How can you say that?” she asked, her face crumbling again.

“Because . . .” I reached for her hand. “Maybe this is what you
both need.”

“No.” She shook her head adamantly, staring down at her hands. “I
don’t wanna be alone again. You’re gonna leave me too.”

I squeezed her hand and shook it this time. “Look at me.”

She shook her head again.

“Look at me, Henrietta.”

She finally did wiping her nose again.

“When I find out what? You said I’d leave when I did.” Her brows
lifted as her face began to fall apart again, so I took her other hand and squeezed
them both now as my heart sped up. “I can’t think of a
single
thing that
would make me leave you, baby. Not one. So just tell me. What is it?”

“I’m a horrible person, Aaron. The worst kind imaginable.”

I stared at her, not understanding. “Horrible person?” Now
I
shook
my head. “What are you talking about?”