Defining Love: Volume 3 (Defining Love #3) (2 page)

“The only thing that made me uncomfortable was how upset Bea
was.” I smiled, still not entirely sure how to interpret what he’d just said to
me. Was he saying he was nervous that I might believe what Bea said Mia was so
sure of or that it was true and he was nervous about what my reaction to
that
was? Was that why he was glad I hadn’t canceled?

The flight attendant asked if we wanted anything to drink. I was
still working on my coffee from the bagel place, but Aaron ordered a Bloody
Mary. I couldn’t help wondering if he felt he needed the alcohol. It came to me
suddenly that, just as I’d had with Edi and then Mia, this was another eye
opener. Even Aaron wasn’t as perfect and put together as I once thought him. He
was human just like me, and I was now seeing his vulnerable side.

He’d been visibly nervous when he’d first said he didn’t even
know where to start that morning. Now he was admitting that he had been and
why. But he still hadn’t denied or confirmed Mia’s accusations.

Thankfully, once his drink arrived and we were on our way, the
conversation switched to the trade show. He brought out a map he’d printed out
of the set up and showed me where we’d be sitting and explained the advantage
it gave us.

By the time we arrived in Milwaukee, any tension from our earlier
talk regarding Mia seemed to have dissipated. At the very least, we’d pushed it
to the backburner, though it did feel like something we’d be getting back to.
For now, Aaron was suddenly all business, and I was grateful for that.

Once at the hotel, Aaron said I should go ahead and take my bag
to my room and freshen up while he checked the packages he’d had shipped to the
hotel. I’d only ever stayed at a hotel a handful of times, and none were
anywhere close to the fancy one we were staying at.

Just entering the fancy lobby, I felt completely out of my
element. It was so strange to be wandering down the long corridor to my room
all by myself. Not that I’d even been down a hotel corridor like this. All the
hotels or rather motels I’d stayed at were the kind you parked your car right
outside the door. When I got to the door, I swiped my key card and opened the
door.

I actually froze. The room was beautiful. It wasn’t as fancy as
some of the suites I’d seen on televisions shows, but it was much bigger than
any of the rooms I’d ever stayed in. It had a small sitting area with a
television and a small bar area with a sink, microwave, and a refrigerator. The
bed wasn’t in the front room as I was accustomed to. It was off in its own
bedroom with an attached full bathroom.

I’d been in the room for about a half hour. I changed into the
outfit I packed for the trade show and was refreshing the light makeup I’d
applied that morning when my phone dinged in my purse. I hurried to it,
remembering Edi had asked me to text her to let her know when I arrived.

One glance at the screen and I could see the text was from her,
and there was more than one. I clicked on them, squelching the nagging guilt
that was slowly becoming a permanent fixture in my conscience. Her first text
had my heart pounding instantly. In it, she informed me she was flying to
California last minute, but then I remembered the calls she’d gotten last night
and this morning. I’d been so grateful for the first call last night because it
lightened the mood and had us talking about that instead.

Edi’s oldest sister had gone into labor with her first child.
It’d be her parents’ first grandchild, and the entire family was ecstatic about
it. Edi had already missed the baby shower because she hadn’t been able to take
time off of school. She’d gotten news of the baby being born just before I left
that morning.

With finals over now for the second semester, she explained in
her text that her parents had offered to fly her out for a few days so she
could be there when the baby came home. She was leaving tomorrow, around the
same time I’d be flying back from Milwaukee.

I felt the strangest relief. I’d never been a good liar, and
somehow, I got the feeling that after this trip I was either going to have to
come clean about the uncertainty I’d been feeling or continue with the vague
answers concerning Aaron. Basically lie. The latter was not something I was
willing to entertain. Edi didn’t deserve that, and it would only make the
situation worse. So knowing she wouldn’t be home for a few days when I got home
was a welcome relief.

A knock sounded at my door just as I sent back the text letting
her know I’d arrived in Milwaukee and would call her as soon as the show was
over to tell her about it. I slipped the phone back into my purse and hurried
to the door. As expected, it was Aaron. He’d changed into a pair of black
slacks and a long-sleeved white dress shirt and tie. I hadn’t thought it
possible, but he was even more breathtaking than ever.

As usual, thoughts of Edi were instantly squashed. Instead, I was
suddenly worried that I was underdressed.

“Our ride is here,” he said, adjusting one of his cufflinks. “You
ready?”

I nodded as the mixture of excitement and nervousness and the
suddenly worrisome thoughts that I was inadequately dressed consumed me. “Yes,”
I said, still taking him in from top to bottom then examining the simple pencil
skirt and buttoned tucked-in blouse I was wearing. “Should I change too?” I
asked, touching my blouse, and feeling a little irritated for not having
thought to ask him about the attire sooner. “Is what I’m wearing okay for
this?”

He stopped adjusting his cufflinks, bringing his full attention
to me. His eyes looked me up and down slowly until they came to rest on my
eyes. I gulped, feeling as if I’d inadvertently given him the go-ahead to eye
me in that way that had my insides bubbling.

“You look perfect,” he said with a slight curve of his lip.

It was one of those moments my brain kept insisting was in my
imagination—just like the one on New Year’s Eve I’d tried for months to
suppress but had failed miserably. Those moments had happened more and more in
the past couple of weeks, the weeks Mia told Bea she’d noticed the change in
Aaron.

I cleared my throat and stepped back, letting him in. “Okay,
well, I’ll just grab my purse and we can go.”

I rushed away toward the bedroom, feeling the heat rise from my
neck to my face. By the time we were downstairs and in the awaiting car, I’d
managed to calm my nerves. It helped that Aaron had gone back into business
mode, discussing our presentation and assuring me I had nothing to be nervous
about.

When we arrived at the fairgrounds, the place was bustling. Just
as Aaron’s appearance at my hotel door had snuffed my thoughts of Edi, the
tradeshow and its clamor had eclipsed any thoughts of our latest “moment” back
in my room.

For now.

Chapter 12

Aaron

My fixation with my cufflinks when Henrietta had first
opened her hotel door had been purposeful. Seeing her looking sexy as all hell
in her business attire was a bit much. I’d been afraid she might notice my gawking.
So her asking for my opinion on what she was wearing had caught me off guard. I
hadn’t meant to be so damn obvious, but she really did look
perfect
.

I’d recovered fairly well and managed to not say or do anything
inanely obvious again until the end of the first presentation. It felt
different from any of the other presentations I’d ever done. Different because
of her. In the past several weeks, Henrietta had become a distraction like none
I’d ever experienced. Even during my presentation, I couldn’t help feeling
distracted every time I glanced her way.

As she had every time we discussed the presentation, she’d spent
the entire time taking notes. All this time as my attraction for Henrietta had
grown, I’d always regarded her as adorable because of her age. It felt safer.
Less wrong. She was a beautiful young lady with qualities anyone would admire.
Only it’d slowly become impossible to ignore how damn sexy she was too.

The business outfit she wore today was simple enough, but
something about it made her seem more womanly. The visuals I’d begun having of
helping her out of said outfit were entirely wrong, especially the effect they
were having on me physically. I hadn’t spent so much time trying to keep my
crotch under control since high school. But it just couldn’t be helped. The
offensive visuals weren’t a new thing. They’d been happening almost since the
day she started working for me. At first, they weren’t quite so offensive.
Mostly, I’d lose my train of thought, staring at her lips when she talked and wondering
what it might be like to kiss them. Then later what her mouth would
taste
like. They’d since increased in a sexual nature, but I’d managed to keep things
under control. Now seeing her like this today, staying in control or just
keeping my mind off her was proving to be nearly impossible.

Control had always been my thing, and I’d never felt so out of
it.

Then something else happened just after I’d finished up the
presentation and was taking the final questions from a few of the onlookers. I
noticed a guy approach Henrietta. I’d introduced her early on as my business
associate who could also answer any questions and would be passing out flyers
after the presentation. The guy who approached her had taken a flyer, but I
couldn’t help noticing the way he smiled at her as they spoke. Whatever he was
saying to her wasn’t all business because she’d even laughed politely, glancing
around and appearing a bit unnerved.

Without thinking, I’d abruptly excused myself from the two men
I’d been speaking with and hastened over to Henrietta and the guy.

“As soon as we’re done here,” I said, touching her elbow gently
and without apologizing for my interruption, “we’ll go grab something to eat.
We have a little break before the next presentation, and I wanted to go over a
few things with you.”

She turned to face me. “Sounds good,” she said with a smile. “I
was beginning to get a little hungry.”

“What time will you be completely done here today, Henrietta?”
the guy asked with annoying smirk.

Once again and absolutely out of character for me, I turned to
the guy and didn’t just answer for her, I did so with enough inflection there
was no way he
or
Henrietta could miss it. “
We’ll
be here until
three, but if there’s anything else you need,
I’d
be happy to answer any
questions you may have.”

Out of control.

I was on the verge of crossing the line—being too
obvious—especially because I knew Henrietta now knew what Mia thought. The
truth. I was hopelessly  infatuated with her and making it undeniably clear.
But if I had to be honest with myself, this went beyond infatuation—far beyond.

Despite my apprehension that I was being too obvious, I didn’t
back off. I stared the guy straight in the face. Even worse, I knew without a
doubt that if he didn’t pick up on my insolence, I’d make it clear one way or
another. I was too far gone to back down now. Most alarming was I’d never felt
this kind of possessiveness with Mia. Sure in those very early years I’d made
sure once I decided I wanted a relationship with her that it was known we were
more than just friends. But after that, even when I’d notice someone flirt with
her, I never felt what I felt at that moment as I waited for this guy to
respond.

His response was nothing more than to ask a few more questions
about the EPG. Questions I made sure to answer myself. I answered as politely
as possible in an attempt to make up for my earlier tenor—for Henrietta’s sake.
Not so much because I didn’t want him engaging further with Henrietta but
because I could no longer trust my response to it. It was finally time I
acknowledged and admit that, from the moment I’d gone against my better
judgment and duped my sister and cousin into offering Henrietta the job, I’d
lost control. I knew then it was a bad idea but was powerless to stop myself.
After what happened last night, my behavior now proved things were only getting
worse. My impulsive reaction to his obvious interest in Henrietta was
completely atypical for me. No telling what I’d do or say if he proceeded to so
much as flirt with her in front of me. Fortunately, my conversation with him
concluded with no further incident.

Lunch was uneventful. After my unexpected reaction to something
as petty as seeing another man get a little too friendly with her, I was being
overly cautious. I stuck to talk of the presentation she’d be doing next,
steering clear of any subjects that might have me admitting too much or doing
things such as getting lost in her eyes. Something that was happening way too
often.

I was convinced now that what I was certain she’d felt even way
back on New Year’s wasn’t imagined. That whatever it was had only increased
with each conversation we’d had since she came to work for me. It was mounting
now each moment we continued to spend around each other. The fact that she was
in a committed relationship with her
lesbian
girlfriend mattered as much
to me as being engaged to my girlfriend of over ten years did. Something was
happening, but there was something even more worrisome that had begun to gnaw
at me.

Last night she’d begun to open up. Henrietta had been about to
tell me more about her relationship with Edi. When I asked her if she was in
love with Edi, I was genuinely curious. They hadn’t been a couple that long,
but I wasn’t implying that I had my doubts. Hope maybe, but not a doubt. Not
until she’d answered the question anyway. Instead of answering with certainty
or even an honest “I’m not sure yet,” there’d been an air of defensiveness in
her answer.

I was beyond curious now about what she didn’t finish saying. But
after everything that happened last night, I knew I was lucky she was here with
me today. I didn’t want to push it. Even before my conversation with Bea this
morning that had me spitting out my orange juice, I’d been nervous she might
start feeling uncomfortable working for me. Mia had completely ignored
Henrietta last night. Henrietta might be young, but it’d been more than
established she wasn’t naïve. She must’ve had at least an inkling, even before
Bea told her what Mia’s issue might be. Now that she knew the galling truth, I
wasn’t sure what to expect.

I hadn’t even wanted to call Henrietta that morning after I got
off the phone with Bea. I figured if she’d changed her mind about coming on
this trip she would’ve called or texted, and if she was still undecided, it
might be easier for her to cancel over the phone. I wouldn’t make it that easy
on her. It felt devious, but I just couldn’t chance it. What if she did cancel
or worse—quit? I thought maybe if it could at least be in person I’d have a
better chance of convincing her otherwise.

Now I had other worries. My out-of-control reactions were
becoming reckless and unpredictable even to me. At one point during lunch,
she’d gone over a certain part of the presentation. She’d held her notebook up
with one hand and read while her fingers on her other hand tapped nervously on
the table. I had to refrain from reaching over and touching her hand. It
would’ve come across as me trying to assuage—calm—her nerves. But I knew it was
more. The inappropriate urges I’d had to touch her even from the very beginning
were reaching a boiling point.

With lunch over and us back at the trade show, I tried to compose
myself, focusing on setting up for the next presentation. I took a seat as she
took front and center on stage. Within seconds, I was transported back to that
night, New Year’s Eve, when I’d felt so blown away by her. I already knew she
was a natural. We’d practiced enough back home. But seeing her now in her sexy
outfit and watching her make this presentation her little bitch, I was floored.

Halfway through it, I forced myself to focus on the actual
presentation. She’d glance at me every now and again and smile as if wanting my
approval. I knew she’d want feedback once she was finished. So far, all I could
think of was
you were beautiful
and
can I fucking kiss you?

By the time she’d finished, I was in what had become too familiar
of a daze lately. In the weeks and days leading up to this trip, I’d begun to
feel that the
little girl
I’d had that conversation with back on New Year’s
Eve—my kid sister’s young friend whose slam dunk first impression I’d tried so
desperately to convince myself had been just a fluke—might be the real deal.
What my dad had been talking about when he said I’d know. Everything about
Henrietta had slowly begun to bring me to my knees. Now here I stood, ready to
drop down on them and pray I hadn’t imagined everything that’d been happening
between us.

I knew I couldn’t—shouldn’t—because I had to respect that she was
in a relationship and remember that I was her boss. Damn it. Not to mention
that while it was likely the end of the road for Mia and me, after everything
we’d been through, I owed her a dignified break-up.

In person
.

Not over the phone. I knew I’d be tempted to break up with Mia
over the phone if by some miracle Henrietta actually admitted not just to
feeling the same for me but that she’d be willing to do something about it.
Henrietta wouldn’t be the reason I was breaking up with Mia. I wasn’t even sure
yet if everything I
thought
was happening between Henrietta and me was
all in my delusional head. There was still the very real possibility that she’d
adamantly object to anything happening between us. Not just because of Edi, but
her home and only family member she knew of were in California. She might be so
uncomfortable by any admission she could quit. There were still so many
obstacles for me to think anything beyond a professional relationship would
ever work between her and me.

“So?” Henrietta asked the moment we were alone after her presentation.
“What’d you think?”

She wore that same smile that lit up those eyes so beautifully.
The same one she wore each time she made a breakthrough on our quest to get the
EPG in apartment buildings. The one that took my breath away every single time
and reminded me what I was feeling for her was
far
more than physical
attraction.

I wouldn’t say what I really wanted to say, but I refused to
devalue her performance for the sake of being
appropriate
. “You were
amazing,” I said, smiling even bigger when I saw the added excitement in her
already gleaming eyes.

It was the truth. She’d nailed it. “I couldn’t have done it
better,” I added and meant it.

As annoying as it was to see how some of the men in her audience
were captivated by every word she’d said, every move she’d made, she’d very
genuinely and efficiently sold the EPG for everything it was worth.

She did the last two presentations of the day, and while I hadn’t
thought she had anything to improve on, she did each time. She was a boss’s
dream.
My
dream. In so many more ways than one now.

“I was so nervous at first,” she said as we walked toward our
waiting car. “But even in the first presentation I made, I felt completely in
the zone.”

She turned to me, and I was instantly distracted when her tongue
pushed away a strand of her hair that blew against her lip. Pulling it aside,
she continued speaking excitedly about the presentations as I dealt with my
inner turmoil.

“I guess my professor was right,” she said as we slid into the
backseat of the car. “Public speaking is my forte. I’ll have to get right to it
as soon as I get back and start checking into changing my major. I can hardly
wait until the next trade show.”

The relief from hearing that was unexpected. It washed over me
like a glorious hot shower. Last night’s turn of events didn’t appear to have
impinged on Henrietta’s decision to continue to work for me. The pessimist in
me—the
realist
—knew it was very possible she’d only agreed to still come
this weekend because she knew it’d be too late to get a refund on her first-class
ticket and room. But I didn’t realize how worried I’d been she might still quit
until now.

Further proof of how crazy I was beginning to feel about her.

Even as she continued to talk cheerfully, without any noticeable
apprehension like the undeniable unease I’d felt from her that morning, I
wouldn’t get too encouraged just yet. We still hadn’t actually discussed what
Bea had told her. How Henrietta felt about it. How Edi did. That conversation
was inevitable, and her outlook might change once I told her what she’d likely
ask. How would I address the issue when we got back home? But the even bigger
question, one she likely wouldn’t be asking, was even more daunting. I could
leave it alone if she didn’t ask and have it linger like the elephant in the
room it would certainly become, or I could just man up and address it.