Deliver Me (14 page)

He
got Delilah settled into the back seat and buckled himself in. He took a moment
before driving to calm down. It was early enough that Lee wouldn’t be on stage.
It was early enough that Lee wouldn’t be on stage. Erik needed to feel their
connection, even if it was one sided, so he sent a text:
Knock ‘em dead,
baby
.

The
miles and faces flew by. Tag was counting the days until he could see Erik and
Delilah again. Four weeks down. Eight to go. Fifty-six days until he closed the
door on the first chapter of his life and began the next. The last concert of
their tour was in Nashville. He couldn’t have planned it any better if he’d
scheduled the shows himself. The last performance was two weeks before
Christmas. He would be home for the holidays, and by home, he meant with Erik.

Tag
had already ordered special Christmas ornaments with their names on them. He
included his band, Echo, and the bodyguards who were now so much more than
employees. Whether they spent Christmas in Nashville or Los Angeles, they would
have a special spot on Tag and Erik’s tree. There would be two Delilahs sharing
top honor. It would be bittersweet for Tag. He always spent the holidays with
his baby sister. He made sure they were together every Christmas. She refused
to come to his house stating it would take too much time to decorate a house so
large. Instead, he stayed with her in their parents’ home, helping her decorate
a small tree. He could have bought her a tree taller than the house, but she
wanted a small one. She decorated it with ornaments from their childhood. He
had those same decorations safe in his attic. He would add a couple of the
really special ones to the tree he and Erik put up for baby Delilah. They would
start their own collection of ornaments for her.

He
knew it was still a few months away, but Tag wanted their first Christmas together
to be perfect. The paperwork had been approved, and Tag was officially
Delilah’s father. He wanted to share the news with Erik in person. He didn’t
tell anyone else about it for fear it would get leaked, and Erik would hear it
from someone else. His head was spinning with everything he was looking forward
to in the future. Not only would he have a new family but also a new business
venture.

Most
of the day consisted of photo shoots and interviews. The Dallas Cowboy
Cheerleaders were holding an auction to benefit some children’s charity and
happened to be at the same hotel where the band was staying. Tag didn’t mind
professional photo shoots, but he did mind random shots with half naked women
even if they were cheerleaders. He had been in the tabloids several times over
the years, and now that he had someone special in his life, he didn’t want to
do anything to disrespect Erik.

Angels
to Ashes finished their set, and the roadies began switching out instruments
and speakers. The 7’s Mistress banner was rolled down, landing a few feet above
Cade’s drum kit. Tag usually stayed backstage until everything was in place and
it was their turn to take the stage, but tonight he stood off to the side,
watching the workers get everything ready for the band. There were so many men
and women behind the scenes doing much harder work than standing in front of a
crowd singing. The lighting technicians who had to climb multi-level scaffolds,
the men who rigged the scaffolds, those who pushed and pulled the heavy speaker
boxes, stacking them into place for the perfect sound, these were the ones who
deserved the credit for putting on such a solid show week after week.

It
dawned on Tag that not once in his career had he ever said thank you to anyone
who set the stage for him to do his job. Of course he gave props to his band,
but that was to be expected. He wanted to do something nice for his road crew. Echo
walked up beside him and nudged him with her shoulder. “Hey, Boss. You okay?”

He
smiled down at her. “Never better.”

She
wrapped her arm around his waist and said, “I believe it. In all these years,
I’ve never seen you happy. Not really. I’m really happy for you, Lee.” Ever
since they had met Erik, Echo called him Lee in private.

Tag
squeezed Echo to him, kissing her on top of her head as the lights in the arena
went down.

Cade
smacked Tag on the ass and said, “Let’s do this,
Lee
.” He took his place
behind the massive drum kit and got the show started. Sloane and Pauly gave him
a shoulder squeeze as they passed by, walking side by side onto the stage. Tag
adjusted the body pack attached to the back waistband of his jeans and inserted
the monitors into his ears. He closed his eyes, picked up the key around his
neck, and kissed it. He thought of his man and baby girl back home. When he
opened his eyes, he jogged to the middle of the stage, grabbed his microphone,
and yelled, “Hello, Dallas!”

As
with every other gig, 7’s Mistress brought the house down. When the show was
over, the band came back out on stage to take a bow. Sloane and Pauly made sure
Tag was sandwiched between them. Nothing was said about Cade’s behavior as long
as he didn’t pick a fight with Tag, but the two of them had become buffers
whenever the drummer was around. It was rare that Tag and Cade were alone
together.

The
after party was mild compared to most. It wound down early, and for that, Tag
was grateful. He hated the nights he couldn’t Skype with Erik and sing Delilah
to sleep. Cade came up from behind and wrapped an arm around his shoulder,
walking stride for stride with Tag. “Hey, buddy. I got you a little something
for your birthday.”

“My
birthday isn’t until next week.” Tag had a bad feeling about this.

“I
know, but we’re in Dallas, and I found something really special for you. It’ll
only take a second.”

Against
his better judgement, Tag went along with Cade. He glanced behind them for
Sloane or Pauly. Hell, even Echo would do at that point. It was a sad state of
affairs when you were afraid to be alone with your best friend. When they
reached Cade’s room, he slid the card into the reader and waited for the light
to flash green. When it did, he opened the door and gave Tag a gentle push. “Happy
birthday, Tag.” 

Before
he could stop her, a busty blonde dressed in a Dallas Cowboy’s Cheerleader
outfit pressed herself to Tag and kissed him on the mouth. He grabbed her arms
to push her away and heard the sound of clicking. Cade was taking pictures with
his phone. “What the fuck are you doing?” Tag grabbed the woman by the arm and
escorted her to the door.

“But
I’m here for the night,” she pouted.

“Not
with me you aren’t. I’m taken, and the man I love is back home with our
daughter. I’m sorry he brought you into this.” Tag pushed her into the hallway
and slammed the door. Before he could catch himself, he turned to Cade and
caught him across the jaw with a right hook.

“You
bastard,” he yelled. “You motherfucker!” He swung again, but Cade was ready this
time. Even though they were practically the same height, Cade had at least
forty pounds of muscle on him. Cade grabbed him around the waist and tackled
him. They crashed into the coffee table in the outer room of Cade’s suite. Cade
was straddling Tag, ready to take a swing when Gus stormed into the room and
pulled Cade off him.

Tag
yelled, “Get him the fuck away from me; and get his phone!” He laid his head
back down amidst the broken wood of the coffee table. “Fuck!”

Echo,
followed by Sloane, Pauly, and Carl ran into the room. “Oh, God. Are you okay?
What happened?” his manager asked.

“Fucking
Cade happened. Bastard set me up. Said he wanted to give me my birthday
present. When I got in here, one of the Cowboy Cheerleaders was in here, or
someone dressed up as one. Cade took pictures.”

“I’m
going to call the doctor; I’ll be right back,” Echo said as she left the room.

“I
don’t need a doctor. I need a new friend.” Tag’s head hurt, and he was pretty
sure he had a cracked rib or two. Fucking Cade.

Pauly
and Sloane helped Tag to his room where he was seen by a physician. The doctor
tried to get Tag to go to the hospital, but he refused. He wanted a pain pill
and sleep; after that, he’d consider going to the hospital. After
that
,
he was going to settle things with Cade, once and for all.

For
the next two days, Tag stayed medicated on pain pills and whiskey. Gus promised
to keep everyone away from his room until he was ready to get up. On the third
day, he was ready for a shower and to talk to his man. Erik was probably pissed
as hell, but hopefully once Tag explained the situation, everything would be
okay.

Cade
pulled his hat down over his eyes. Wearing sunglasses and cowboy boots, he
faded into the crowded Dallas sidewalk. For almost twenty years he had taken a
back seat to his best friend. For a while things were good. Really good. He had
Tag all to himself for the most part. Having the man in his bed was a dream
come true. Cade had fallen in love with Tag when they were still in high school,
but he didn’t make a move on his friend until much later.

He
never thought Tag would swing his way, but one night, the drink was flowing and
the cocaine was blowing. Whoever they had taken back to their hotel room had
left in the middle of the night, leaving Tag and Cade alone in bed together.
Cade took advantage of the situation and kissed Tag. When his best friend didn’t
push him away, he took it a little further and gave him a blow job. Tag didn’t
push him away after that for several years. Life was fucking fantastic.

Now?
Life was in the fucking shitter. How had things gone from perfect to zero? The
more Cade tried to get Tag back, the more he pulled away. Now he had a fucking
kid. Tag called her his daughter, not his niece. And the goddamn doctor? What
the fuck was up with that? Taggart Lee didn’t date fucking doctors. As long as
they’d known each other, Tag hadn’t dated anyone seriously. His music had always
been his mistress. When Tag told the hooker he was in love, Cade lost it. He wasn’t
supposed to love anyone else.

Cade
would not sit by and watch the man throw his love away on a do-gooder like
Erik. Tag needed someone in the business. Someone who understood him. He needed
Cade.

Things
had been going remarkably well for Erik. Bethany returned to work a week early,
and the office was back to business as usual. Laura had done a fantastic job,
but Bethany was family. On Friday afternoons, she would follow Erik home so she
could watch Delilah while Erik and Duke went to the V.A. Hospital. Sarah was
back at work with the dogs and the veterans, and she seemed to be in better
spirits. Erik had not been able to find any of Sarah’s friends who knew any
more than he did. All of the women in her life said she’d cut them off without
a word. Still, she and Erik were able to spend time together without it ending
in an argument.

 
Most of the time he and Sarah were together, Bethany was present. She knew what
it was like being pregnant without the father around. Erik wanted his best
friend to know she could be okay being a single mother. She hadn’t brought up
adoption, so he assumed she was planning on keeping her baby. Erik didn’t keep
anything from her regarding Lee. He wouldn’t force them together when Lee came
off the road, but he wasn’t going to hide his feelings from her either.

Now,
Lee was over six hundred miles away and hurt. Erik couldn’t sit still another
minute longer. Not being able to talk to Lee and find out from the man himself
how he was doing was killing him. Echo had called telling him about the fight,
but she didn’t give any real details. Gus called once saying Lee was still out
of it, but he was okay. Hearing Lee’s voice would make Erik feel so much
better. It was all he could do not to hop a plane for Dallas.

Bethany
stuck her head in his office door and frowned. “Boss, you really need to chill.
Let’s take the kids to the park. Or something.” Their last patient had just
left, and they were getting ready to close the office.

“I
have a better idea. There’s somewhere I need to go. You’re welcome to go with
me, but it won’t be much fun.” Erik had only been to Delilah’s grave once since
Lee left. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Okay.
I’ll start getting the kids’ things together.”

Bethany
stayed in the car while Erik went into the florist and bought a dozen white
roses. When he returned, she said, “So, tell me where we’re going.”

“To
see Delilah’s mother.”

The
September weather was still pleasant enough the babies could be outside without
being bundled up. Erik removed Delilah from the car while Bethany got Brady.
Duke trotted ahead of them, going directly to Delilah’s grave. The last bouquet
of roses had dried up, so Erik replaced them with the new ones. He sat down on
the ground next to the headstone holding Delilah in his lap. Bethany stayed a
few feet away, still within earshot. Duke lay down opposite Erik, and placed
his snout on his front paws.

Erik
said to the grave, “Hey, Delilah. It’s me, Erik. I’m back. I know you’d rather
it was your brother, but he’s in Dallas this week. He sends his love as always.
I wish you could see your baby girl. She’s growing so fast. I’ve brought a
picture with me, and I’m going to tuck it in your flowers so you can feel her
with you all the time. She’s here with me. She’s not big enough to talk yet,
but I know she loves you. How could she not? You’re her mom. You brought this
precious girl into the world, so you have to be special.

“There’s
someone here I want you to meet. Bethany is a dear friend of mine. She is my
receptionist at work. I told you about her last time. She, too, brought a
beautiful baby into this world. His name is Brady. She’s trying to keep me sane
while your brother is off rocking the nation. She knows this, but I need to
tell you; I’m falling in love with your brother. It’s a little unconventional.
Okay, it’s a lot unconventional, but we talk on the phone and Skype almost
every day. It’s a crazy way to carry on a relationship. But there are people in
the military who don’t see their loved ones for months at a time. At least this
way, he and I are talking and keeping up with each other’s lives.

“I
can’t wait for the tour to be over. Eight more weeks. That’s it. We can do
this, can’t we, Delilah?” He was talking to both of them then. Erik hoped that
Lee’s sister would have approved of him had she lived. “We’re going now, but
we’ll be back soon. Please watch over Lee from wherever you are. Bring him back
to us.”  Erik laid the old bouquet on the ground beside him and, with one hand,
crumbled up the dried petals and sprinkled them over the ground. He stood and
grabbed the stems to dispose of later. He kissed Delilah on the cheek and
turned toward Bethany. She was wiping at her eyes.

“She
would have loved you, Boss.”

“I’m
sure I would have loved her, too.” They both knew if she were still alive, Erik
and Lee would probably have never met.

“What’s
up with crushing the petals?” Bethany asked when they got to the car.

“Lee
likes to think the residual scent will seep into the ground so she can enjoy
the smell. He knows his sister isn’t really there, but it’s a nice thought.”

“Yeah,
it is. Thank you for letting me come with you. You’re the only family I have
now other than Brady. You and Delilah.”

Erik
knew the feeling. “You’re welcome. Now, let’s go eat. What do you say about
burgers and milkshakes?”

By
the time Erik dropped Bethany and Brady off at the office to get her car, it
was getting dark. He was ready to talk to Lee. Hopefully he felt well enough to
Skype, because Erik really needed to see his lover’s face. When he got home,
Sarah was waiting in the driveway. She was leaning against the door of her car,
something in her hand. Erik opened the garage and pulled the Range Rover
inside. Duke jumped out and went to greet their guest.

Sarah
didn’t bother to pet the dog. Instead she walked up to Erik with a smirk on her
face. Shoving a magazine into his arms, she said, “I told you he wouldn’t be
faithful.”

Erik
flipped the magazine over. It was an entertainment tabloid. The picture on the
center of the cover was some sister who’d made a name for herself by giving a
rap star a blow job. One of the smaller pictures was Lee and a Dallas Cowboy
Cheerleader. The caption read, “Rock Star to be a Father.”

“Please
leave.” Erik didn’t want to be around anyone right then. He knew he shouldn’t
shoot the messenger, but when that messenger gloated over his unhappiness, he
wanted her out of his sight.

“But
you shouldn’t be alone right now. Let me come in and…”

“Sarah,
I’m asking you nicely. Please leave.” Erik removed Delilah’s car seat from the
base and shut the door. Sarah was still standing there, arms crossed over her
chest.

“I
hate to say it, but I told you so.”

“Sarah,
so help me God, if you don’t get the fuck out of my sight right now…”

She
threw her hands up and interrupted. “Okay, damn. Call me when you want to
apologize.”

Erik
didn’t watch her leave. He took Delilah into the house and got her settled.
Then he grabbed a beer and swallowed half of it down. He wiped his mouth on the
back of his hand and looked at the offending magazine he’d tossed on the table.
“You can’t believe everything you read, Erik,” he chastised himself. He would
wait and hear what Lee had to say.

Erik
didn’t have to wait long to hear from Lee. He had given Delilah her bath and
was putting her to bed. When he answered, Lee said, “Hey, babe. Am I too late?”

“Too
late for what?”

“To
sing the princess to sleep.” Lee sounded like he’d just woke up.

“No,
actually you’re right on time,” Erik said, trying hard to keep the anxiousness
out of his voice. “Go ahead and start.” Erik put the phone on speaker, and Lee
started singing. When the song was over, Erik went back into the living room.

“How
are you feeling? You sound groggy,” Erik asked him.

“My
ribs hurt like a motherfucker, but I’ll live. I’ve been asleep for most of the
past few days. I’m sorry, I was out of it.”

“I
guess congratulations are in order.”

“Yeah,
what for? Did I win the lottery?” Lee joked.

“On
becoming a father.” Here it was. The moment of truth. Either Lee would tell him
it was all fabricated bullshit, or he would tear Erik’s heart from his chest.

“How
did you find out? Nobody was supposed to know. Not yet anyway.”

Oh
God. Erik sank down to the couch. “When were you going to tell me?”

“When
I get home. I wanted to tell you in person.”

Erik
hated himself for asking, but he had to know. “When did it happen?”

“Right
after I hit the road. Babe, it’s no big deal. It won’t have any bearing on us.
I promise.”

No
big deal? Was he serious? “I have to go.” Erik hung up the phone. It immediately
rang, but he didn’t answer it. He went to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle
of Scotch. He couldn’t drink much in case Delilah needed him. It was now
evident his boyf… Lee didn’t need him. Instead of getting wasted, Erik went
into Delilah’s room and sat in the corner in the rocking chair. None of this
made sense. Surely if Lee was having a baby with that woman, he wouldn’t have
been so nonchalant, would he? He wanted to believe the last few months had
meant as much to Lee as they had to Erik.

Duke
licking Erik’s hand woke him up. He was disoriented for a moment. Why was he in
the baby’s room sleeping in the rocker? The previous evening came back full
force. His heart couldn’t take it, so he didn’t dwell on the phone call. While
Delilah was still asleep, he quickly took a shower. He would go about his days
as he normally did; only now, he wouldn’t wait with baited breath for Lee to
text him.

When
he arrived at the clinic, Bethany immediately latched on to his bad mood. He
barely said good morning before taking Delilah to the nursery. When he stepped
into the kitchen, she said, “Okay, what happened?”

“I
don’t want to talk about it.” Erik poured his coffee and added too much milk.
“Fuck,” he hissed.

“Erik,
stop. Talk to me.” Bethany took his cup from his hand and poured out some of
the creamy liquid so she could top it off with coffee. “Sit down and talk to
me, please.”

Erik
sat at the table and ran his hands through his hair. “It’s over.”

“What
are you talking about? How can it be over since last night?”

“He’s
having a baby with a professional cheerleader. He admitted as much.”

“I
don’t believe it, Erik. That man loves you. There has to be some
misunderstanding.” Bethany rolled her bottom lip between her fingers,
contemplating the wrongs of the world.

“I
thought so too, but when he called last night, I asked if it was true, and he
said it was. I don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want to think about it.
I need to keep my head on straight so I can take care of business. Let’s get to
work.” Erik stood from the table leaving Bethany in deep thought. He didn’t
speak to her the rest of the day about anything that wasn’t business related.
When five o’clock rolled around, he told her he’d talk to her the next day. He
wasn’t in the mood for company, not even his best friend’s.

Lee
texted several times during the day, but Erik waited until he was home to read
them. He didn’t need the distraction at work. The first was short:
Everything
ok?

The
second a little longer:
Erik, what’s going on?

The
third harsher still:
What the fuck is up, Erik? Call me, dammit

How
did the man not realize what the problem was? Erik wouldn’t be as upset if it
was just the fact Lee screwed around. He hadn’t really expected someone like
him to remain celibate for three months. But for him to be so nonchalant about
having a baby with someone…  Erik needed a break. He needed to get away even if
it was just a day. He would ask Bethany to keep Delilah on Saturday so he could
just get drunk and forget about everything. He needed to forget about Lee
Holloway.