Denying Mr. Parks (The Parks #1) (15 page)

When I did finally move to sit up, I threw him an icy glare before looking around for my yoga pants. He knew full well what I was angry about, but his explanation was casual. “Normally I deny my own pleasure to prolong a woman’s
pleasure, but when you’re being punished, Evelyn, you do not get the right to withhold it from me. Neither do you get the pleasure of an orgasm.”

I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t. “Fuck you, Parks. I don’t want your fucking pleasure.” I found my yoga pants on the floor and yanked them on in frustration.

“Your body could have fooled me,” he said, wearing a side smirk. I watched as he ruffled his dark hair back into place, then fed his belt back through the loops before fastening it.

“That’s just a taste of what will happen when you disobey me or misbehave, Evelyn.” Disobey him? “And I’d like you to know I fucking hate wearing condoms. Prove to me that you’re clean, and I can fuck you without the barrier.”

“Excuse me?” I wasn’t having him speaking to me like that. I climbed off the bed to lay into him, but before I did, I snapped my mouth shut as I heard the front door slam. My heart jumped into my mouth when my name was called.

“Evey?”

Shit. It was Alex. I ran to close my bedroom door, only to spot Parks’s nostrils flaring in anger.

“Why is
he
here?”

“Keep your voice down,” I hissed. “He has every right to be here. Please, you have to hide.”

He laughed like I was crazy and went to open my bedroom door. I frantically knocked his hand away and pushed myself against it to stop him.

“Parks, no.”

He crossed his arms casually, loving that something was riling me. “Why, Evelyn, you’re showing emotion. Call me by my first name and beg.”

“Like fuck,” I scoffed. He sighed like I was insolent and pushed me aside to open the door again. “Okay,” I gritted through clenched teeth, yanking on his arm. “
Please
hide, Wade.” Fucker.

“Hmm, good girl.” He turned on his heel and hid behind my wardrobe. I took hold of the door handle, pulled in a deep, sick breath, and walked out of my bedroom.

I met a perplexed Alex in the living room. His eyes lit up when he saw me, but mine sagged as soon as I noticed he was wearing his police uniform. I knew what he had in mind when he walked towards me, so I took a step back, which he ignored. I could smell earthy, raw sex all over me, and I didn’t want him to smell it too.

“I mentioned something about role-play.” He winked, trying his best to sound hot and seductive, but it didn’t suit him. I was inwardly cringing, and I felt hideous for feeling that way and hideous about what I had just done.

“Alex…I…” He took my hands and gently pulled me into him. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. “I thought we were going to take this slow?” I asked him gently.

He frowned as he remembered what we agreed, then dropped my hands. “Sorry. I’m being a letch.”

“Don’t apologize. Look, why don’t you go home, get changed, and I’ll meet you at yours?”

“Or you could come with me now,” he suggested and pulled on my hand, starting to lead me to my bedroom. I cautiously looked at the bedroom door in front of me in case Parks suddenly appeared. My heart was in my throat. I felt sick.

“I have to shower and get changed.” I yanked on his arm, pulling him away. “You go. I won’t be long.”

“Are you sure?” He chuckled as I pushed him to the front door.

“Sure.” I smiled sweetly, trying to look confident.

“Okay.” He leaned over to kiss me, but I turned my head away and ushered him out, making sure he was gone before I shut the door.

“You’re not sleeping with him, are you, Evelyn?”

I jumped as I turned around to see Parks glaring at me.

“No.” I pushed him in his chest and skirted him.

“Then why does he have a key?”

Why did he care? “Steph gave it to him, not that it has anything to do with you.”

Then he was even more curious. “And Steph is?”

My sigh was as dramatic as he was infuriating. “She’s my best friend, my flatmate, and Alex’s sister.”

“Oh, so she would love nothing more than for you two to be together. Her best friend, her brother. How sweet.” He was being patronizing, and it almost felt like he was jealous. But I couldn’t see how a man like Parks could ever get jealous.

“That’s right, and I won’t hurt him. I like him. He’s the kindest, most generous man I’ve ever met.” I needed an obvious shield between us, so I wrapped my arms around myself.

He didn’t attempt to walk towards me, but he continued to belittle Alex. “But he’s not me, Evelyn. You want
me
, you desire
me
. You don’t yearn after him like you do me, do you? Tell me I’m if wrong.”

I shook my head, getting angry at myself, at the situation, and at the nob that was causing me all this stress. Stress I didn’t need.

“You’re wrong, Parks. I can stay away from you.” Lie. “I don’t want you—or desire you. You need to leave me alone.” I sighed. “Please. Leave me alone. I don’t understand what you want from me.”

He was too controlled to show that my words had hurt him a little, so he spoke with his usual firmness and conceit.

“I have told you what I want, Evelyn. I want
you
. I want to fuck you any chance I can get. I want to watch your eyes when you come for me. I want to taste your lips, taste your skin. I want to have the privilege of caressing your sweet, tight body at every opportunity. You are making my stay here in London very much worthwhile, and when you stop denying me, it will be even better.”

My mouth fell open, and the rage that was brewing overtook me. He was lucky a sharp or heavy object wasn’t in my reach, because I wouldn’t have hesitated to throw it.

“You want to use me for your own fucking enjoyment? That’s what this is?” I wasn’t hurt, I didn’t think. I just thought he liked me, and when he confirmed he just wanted me for sex, I remembered how much of an arsehole he was.

Yes, all men thought with their dicks.
Including him.

“No, it’s not like that.” He looked almost apologetic as he stepped forwards. The step back I took told him not to come anywhere near me, so he halted. “There is so much more I want from you, and I can’t give you a reason why that is because I’ve never felt that way before. I have never wanted to get to know any woman deeply, or for any other reason than just sex. Before you, that is.”

I shook my head in amazement. “You think I should feel privileged that I’m the only woman you want to get to know? You probably tell all the women that same story.”

His jaw tightened as he spoke. He was completely offended. “What I have just told you has never before passed my lips, Evelyn. I am a man of my word.”

I slammed my fists on the kitchen worktop, my temper getting the better of me like it always did. “You just told me I would be the reason your London trip would be worthwhile. You just fucked me for punishment, and now you tell me I’m the only woman you have ever wanted to get to know? What do you expect me to say?”

He ran a hand through his dark, glossy hair, clearly exasperated. “I don’t expect anything from you.” He paused, his eyes softening. “Except to let me in.”

“Why I would let a controlling, arrogant arsehole like you into my life? Why should I give you my precious time? Time I have already wasted on you. I have always stayed away from men like you. I hate men like you. So please, politely, fuck off.”

“Oh, Evelyn, you’re hurting my feelings,” he goaded, holding his palm against his chest.

The air in my lungs was slowly evaporating from how infuriating he was. “I won’t say it again, Parks. Get. Out.” I marched towards him and slapped his shoulder, pushing him away from me in rage. “Get the fuck out of my flat and out of my life and leave my head alone.” I pushed him out of the front door, slammed it shut, and slid my backside down it to prevent him coming back in. His voice was raised when he called, but he didn’t yell.

“You need to make up your damn mind, Evelyn. I want you. And you want me. And I want that man gone. You’re mine and only
mine
. I will not allow another man to yearn after a woman that belongs to me.”

I punched the door and screamed, “Fuck you, Parks. I do not belong to anyone.”

“Wade,” he yelled. After that I heard the slamming of a car door, then the screeching of the wheels as he speed away. The back of my head fell against the door as I shut my eyelids tightly. I was dangerously close to crying, but I reined it in. I would not cry because of some idiot who thought he could have me at the click of his fingers. A man who thought I already belonged to him and who had barged his way into my home and fucked me as a punishment. Never mind how magnificent it felt, it was out of order.

Instead of dwelling, I got my purse, marched myself down to the local shop, and bought the cheapest red wine they had. The wine that got me drunk in no time and tasted of paint stripper.

Back home, I ignored my phone constantly ringing, pulled out a big wineglass, and poured the wine until it reached the brim. I took my first gulp without hesitation and slumped down onto the sofa with a mammoth regretful sigh. Fucking Wade Parks. How could he have been in my life for such a short time yet affected me so colossally? I wished he would leave me alone, and I wished my mind would stop allowing him to pop up every fucking minute. Most of all, I wish my body didn’t crave him. But it did; all of me did. Especially after I knew how magnificent he felt inside me. How big and—no, I couldn’t think about him. It wasn’t right. What also wasn’t right was the way I was treating Alex. It was despicable. He didn’t deserve it.

I’d been fucked by a man I hardly knew, yet the feelings he could make me feel were limitless. I loved every second of it and loathed that I did. It also made me wonder why he was so concerned about discipline. He mentioned fucking some discipline into me before, but I hadn’t taken much notice. Did I need the punishment because of what I had done to him? No. Maybe I needed it for what I was doing to Alex? Whatever the reason, receiving it felt right, and I convinced myself it was for a worthy cause. Besides, I was full of sins. From head to toe.

After almost an hour, the wine bottle was empty, and my light-headedness was only enough to take the edge off my feelings. If I wanted to forget, I had to be staring into oblivion.

After discarding the bottle in the waste bin, I covered it with rubbish so it couldn’t be seen, then took my smartphone out of my bag and read the texts I’d received. All but one were from Alex. He was asking me where I was. The other was from my dad, letting me know my mum was home. He said she wanted to see me. How could he allow her to come back? I needed to tell him that his actions were completely idiotic.

I also decided I needed to see my mum for myself.

It was probably a reckless decision, but I couldn’t think straight. I was intoxicated, angry, and fucked up in the head. I threw on my coat and caught the bus to my parents’ house. Along the way, I was almost thrown off for being disorderly. My hands kept shaking, my head pounded, and blurry thoughts of my mother kept riling me up.

I ignored how dark and eerie the estate was at night and ignored the wolf whistles from the gang of boys who were sitting at the bottom of the stairwell. As I stumbled up the metal stairs, someone followed me. They must have been a floor down, but I could hear the echo of their footsteps. For some reason I knew it wasn’t the boys. The hairs on the back on my neck pricked up. Although my paranoia was probably the fault of the drink, I still made quick work of getting to my parents’ flat, tripping up a few steps on my way.

I couldn’t see straight and couldn’t find the key in my bag, so I banged the shit out of the door until my father answered. His expression was optimistic until he saw my face.

“Evey. I…”

“Where is she?” I demanded, clumsily pushing my way around my foolish father and storming down the hallway. I found her sitting on the sofa in the living room, eating from a Chinese carton.

“Evey, my baby.” She pushed the carton aside when she saw me and stood up with open arms. She was wearing skin-tight jeans and one of my dad’s Beatles T-shirts and looked like she’d put on weight, which was a good thing. Her once long, lifeless, brown hair, full of split ends, had been cut into a pixie crop. It suited her slim, pretty face and made her look more presentable. I looked like my mum, only with my father’s eyes. She was beautiful before she ruined her body, her face, her life.

I held my hand up to stop her coming near me. “Don’t you dare, Mum,” I warned, slurring my words. “Why the fuck are you back?”

She recoiled, looking completely hurt. I didn’t buy it. Not anymore.

“I’ve finished my time in rehab, Evey. I’m clean. I’m sober. I came home to get my family back. My life back. Won’t you give me my little girl back?”

I shook my head at her, dumfounded. “Your little girl? If you didn’t ruin our relationship in the first place, you wouldn’t have to ask for me to come back, would you?”

By the way she stared into my eyes and listened to me slur she knew I’d been drinking, but she was too wary to question me on it. She turned her back on my wrathful glare and wrapped her arms around herself.