Denying Mr. Parks (The Parks #1) (16 page)

“You give your father your time, but you won’t give ya ma any?”

I glanced woozily over to my dad, who was watching me cautiously, then I spotted my mum take back her spot on the sofa. She was licking her lips and biting the inside of her mouth. In the past, those were indications she was back on cocaine. But she’d just come out of rehab, so I wondered if she was doing it solely out of habit.

“I give Dad my time because he got clean and chucked you out months ago. He did it for me. You were always too fucking selfish. You did nothing for me, Mum. Nothing for us.” I opened my arms as I pronounced the last word.

Her eyes looked tired as she pleaded with me, speaking with her hands to stress her words. “I’m clean now, Evey. I’ve done it. Please, give me another chance.”

My hands were also flying around to enunciate my feelings. “How many chances have I got left to give, Mum? You ruin every chance I give you. I can’t do it anymore. I’ve learned to cope on my own. I have since I was sixteen. I don’t need anybody. I don’t need anything from anyone, and I especially don’t need
you
.”

She quickly got to her feet and stalked towards me, forcing me to take a step back. She took hold of my hands and kissed them over and over with her chapped lips, making me grimace with each peck. “Evey, please. I’ll prove myself to you. I will be the mother I was meant to be. All the wrongs I’ve ever done I will make up to you for however long it takes for you to forgive me. I just want my daughter back.”

“However long it takes?” I laughed, repulsed. “Then your wrongs will outlive you.” I pushed her away from me, causing her to stumble back, but she didn’t seem to be surprised by my rejection.

“Evey, baby. I’m so sorry for putting you through what I have. I’m sorry for all those times I should have been there for you. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused, all the hurt. But I’m clean now, and I will stay that way for you. Please, one more chance.”

I looked into her dark brown eyes, and with all I had, I wished she was telling the truth, just like I did every time she told me she’d changed. When I was a child, I clung on to every single word, every single
sorry
, and nobody would ever understand why I would always give in to my mum as a child, or even now. I wished I could have been strong enough to say no, strong enough to walk away. But even after counselling, my therapy, and hardened ways, I never was. The small part of me that wanted a loving, normal, kind mother like so many other children had overruled my choice. Nobody understood that all I ever wanted from my mother as a child was her love. But she would continuously let me down, and I knew deep down in my cold heart that she would continue to do so. Still, I wanted to hold on to that four-letter word I never believed in.
Hope
.

I knocked back tears before they could fall. They were a sign of weakness, and I wasn’t about to show any sign of that. Ever. “One more, Mum. I swear to God, you fuck this up and—”

“I won’t,” she promised. “I won’t.” She held out her hand for me to take, but I couldn’t touch her.

“I have to go.”

My father sensed I was leaving and quickly followed me to the door. Before I could leave he pulled me back by my arm.

“It will be different this time, kid.” His hopeful smile always made me want to either shake some sense into him or break down.

“We’ll see.” I sighed.

“You okay, Evey?” My father narrowed his eyes at me. He’d noticed my drunken behaviour as soon as I turned up at his door, but he wouldn’t question me on it.

“I’m fine. Bye, Dad.” I turned away from his concerned look and made my way back home.

Steph wasn’t in when I got home, but when I walked into the living room Alex was sitting on the sofa, which gave me an almighty fright.

“Fuck, Alex. What the hell are you doing?” I gasped, holding my palm up to my beating heart.

He was still wearing his police uniform and looked embarrassed as he scratched the back of his neck. Christ. “You didn’t call over when you said you would.”

The last thing I needed was for him to start getting clingy. “You can’t just call here whenever you feel like,” I stressed, immediately regretting shouting when his face lit up in surprise. “Sorry,” I said as I rubbed my aching forehead. “It’s been one of those days.”

“You all right, Evey? You don’t seem yourself lately.”

And didn’t I know it. “I’m fine,” I lied, putting on a brave face because I was good at it and trying my best to act sober.

“I would say, ‘Do you want to talk about it,’ but you’re not much of a talker.” He smiled as I lowered down next to him on the sofa.

“I’m not much of anything.” I frowned into my lap.

“Hey.” He wiggled my knee. “That’s not true. You’re amazing.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Amazing I was not.

“You want me to stay the night?”

My head shot up from my lap and up to meet his gaze. “What? No. I’ll be fine. I’m just tired.”

He shifted on the sofa to face me and sighed. “Evey, forgive me if I’m wrong, but you said you wanted to make a go of this. It seems to me like you’re not really interested.”

I should have told him he was right, but I couldn’t because even though he wasn’t who I wanted, he was what I needed. “No, I am. It’s not that…”

“Then what?”

“Nothing. It’s…nothing.” I shook my head confidently and looked at his soft, baby-blue eyes and hopeful features. He was handsome. He wasn’t sexy, but he was cute. He didn’t turn me on, but did that matter? Still feeling intoxicated, I made a stupid decision to lean in and kiss him, resting one hand on his knee and the other on the back of the sofa.

He cupped my face gently after his initial shock wore off and tenderly kissed me back. Getting a little too carried away, he tried to lift my tank top over my head. I pulled away and jumped up from the sofa. His hands thumbed into his lap, expressing his annoyance, but I couldn’t do it.

“God, Evey. What’s wrong with you?” His frustration was utterly acceptable, but how could I sleep with him when I’d slept with another man hours before? I was disgraceful. “I’m going home.” He gathered his jacket and wallet and brushed past me. “Call me when you decide what you want.”

He left me in the flat by myself, scowling at the front door, feeling confused, hurt, and completely muddled. I looked around the room at the mess Parks had left the place in and sagged. Jesus, why did I get myself into these situations?

Chapter Twelve

“So you’re playing my brother now, Evey?” Steph pulled my duvet from my body before I even had the chance to wake up.

“What?” I blinked, completely disorientated.

“You heard me,” she yelled.

“Steph, fuck off. I’m not even awake yet.” I pulled the blanket out of her grip and back over my head.

“He said you’re turning hot and cold and he feels played.”

“Well I never said I was tepid, did I?” I snapped back from under my duvet.

“So you
are
playing him?”

I pushed the blanket from my body aggressively. “I’m not fucking playing him. And if he’s talking about last night, I acted the way I did because I stupidly went to see my mother.” That wasn’t entirely a lie.

“Oh.” Her face dropped, and she slowly perched on the end of my bed, looking entirely pessimistic. “Was she high?”

I scoffed at how causal Steph’s remark was, like it was such normal behaviour. Then again, for my mother, it was. I sat up in bed, crossed my legs, and yawned. “No, actually. She begged me to give her another chance.”

Her curly blonde hair fell messily around her face from being asleep, and it bounced as she shook her head. “And you agreed?”

I looked away from her beady, ominous eyes and sighed my confirmation on an embarrassed shrug.

Steph punched the mattress. “Why do you do this? Is it only your mother who has some hidden power over you? You’re crazy.”

“You don’t think I know that?” I barked. “I try to block her out, Steph. But I keeping thinking that maybe I’ll get to have a normal relationship with my mum one day. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

She sighed softly. “Just don’t get your hopes up, Evey. I don’t want you getting hurt again.”

“I won’t.”

She smiled tightly and gave me a quick hug, then tugged her head in the direction of the door. “So you going to tell me why the flat looks like it’s been burgled?”

I groaned, flopping back down onto the bed and did a quick think. “I lost my keys. I was trying to find them.”

“Jesus, Evey. You and losing things. You’d lose your head if it wasn’t screwed on.”

I agreed and glanced at my alarm clock. It read eight thirty. “Fuck.” I shot out of bed. “Steph, why didn’t you wake me? And why didn’t my alarm go off?”

“I did wake you,” she mumbled, wandering out of my room so I could get ready.

Shit. I was going to be late. Four times in a four months. It would undeniably get me a warning this time. I had thirty minutes to get ready and get to work. I had no chance.

***

I closed my front door behind me in a rush, dropping my keys as I went. I bent down cursing as I picked them up, and when I straightened, I spotted the black Jaguar parked outside the road from my flat.

I shifted on my heels, contemplating whether to jump in or not. Then I glanced at the time on my phone and made a decision.

Cleaver was actually surprised to see me as he climbed out of his side to open my door. “You’re finally accepting a ride?” He gave me a charming smile. I had never taken great notice of Cleaver. I knew he was in his late fifties and had silver-fox hair under a black chauffeur hat. His eyes were dark brown and warm. He was tall and also American.

“Maybe just today.” I climbed in and immediately asked him if he went everywhere with Parks.

“Yes, ma’am. I do.”

Ma’am? I chucked. “I feel privileged to be called
ma’am
.”

“It’s my way of being polite, ma’am.”

“Where are you from?”

“I’m from Alabama, ma’am.”

I chuckled again. “Could you please call me Evey?”

“Sure thing, Evey.”

“So where is Parks from?”

He looked into his rear-view mirror at me and smiled. “I have to withhold information about Mr. Parks, Evey. Forgive me.”

“Sure.” I smiled but was really quite pissed. Pissed I asked a question about Parks and pissed because I didn’t get the answer.

I jumped out of the car when we got to my office building, almost stumbling as I caught my heel around my stupid handbag straps. “Thank you,” I shouted to Cleaver as I pulled myself together and ran into the building.

Clarke glanced over his computer screen with a pronounced raised brow at my lateness, but I ignored him and quickly scanned the room, then sagged with relief when I saw no Carla. I was fifteen minutes late. Not too bad. That was until I heard the wearying voice of Bitch-Features.

“Evey, my office. Now.”

When I turned my head, Carla was standing outside her office. Her mahogany bob shook as she pointed a sharp, red fingernail in the direction of her door. I grunted under my breath and pursed my lips as she twirled on her stiletto and walked into her office. I quickly took my bag over to my desk.

“Good luck,” Clarke whispered.

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smirking, which caused him to tell me to wipe it away. I walked into Carla’s office gingerly and reminded myself not to get carried away with my mouth. She was my boss, she paid my bills; there was no excuse for violence.

I glanced up as I closed the door behind me and came into eye contact with Parks. He was sitting behind the desk, oozing his usual grace, and dressed in a dark blue suit, white shirt, and a tie that was a lighter shade of blue. He looked dangerously sexy, but his green eyes looked withdrawn. It was like he was looking straight through me. Jesus, I was only fifteen minutes late. What was the big deal?

“Now.” Carla’s tone took my focus from Parks. She stood beside him, thinking she was the fucking Queen Elizabeth. She crossed her arms slowly as she spoke, and I watched her rhythmically tap her fingers on her bicep. “This is the fourth time you have been late since starting at this company, Evey. As you know, and as Mr. Parks here will remind you, we do not tolerate tardiness. I am utilizing a verbal warning, and it will shortly be followed by a written warning. The warning will outline my expectations of my employees and the consequences for excessive lateness.”

Excessive lateness? Was four times excessive? I sang a song in my head to try and calm myself down. I despised people who thought they were above everybody else. We all shit the same, don’t we?

“Do you understand?” she asked, her lips curling into a smirk. She was trying to belittle me in front of Parks and loving every second of it. Especially because it meant showing off her authoritative side in front of a man she desperately wanted to fuck.

“Yes,” I hissed, forgetting the song I was singing in my head and thinking about my hand across her face.

“Good,” she sang. “You can leave now.” She shooed me away with her fingertips like she always did. I looked down at them in repugnance and thought of breaking the fuckers until Parks spoke for the first time, standing from his desk.

“Miss Hammond, please leave us. I would like to have a private word with Evelyn.”

She turned to him open-mouthed, looking like she’d been slapped with a fish. When she didn’t budge, he shooed her away just like she had done to me. I snorted and focused on my shoes to try and contain myself.

“Go on,” he urged.

“Right.” And off she trotted, leaving us alone.

When the door closed behind her, I focused my attention on Parks. “You’re going to tell me how my lateness is a burden to your company now, are you?”

He leaned against the desk and placed his hands in his pockets like he always did. His eyes remained introverted, his features impassive. “It isn’t a burden to me. However, Clarke depends on you. Think of him next time you decide not to attend work on time.”

I crossed my arms, narrowing my eyes at him, getting quite pissed and confused at how cold he was acting. “Okay, I accept that. So why do you want a private word? Because I know it isn’t about my punctuality.”

He pushed his backside up from the desk and walked around it. There, he pulled out a drawer on the desk and reached inside, then presented me with a file.

“Last night, Evelyn, I reread my firm’s résumés.” The way his hard gaze lingered, I knew he was going somewhere with this. “I found you have no previous experience in secretarial work or law admission.”

I shrugged incautiously, trying to ignore my heart sinking at what I thought he was about to say. “I never said I did.”

His eyes narrowed. I knew they weren’t darkening over my lack of skills. He was angry about how I had got the job in the first place. I knew it.

He paced behind the desk, flicking through the file. “I also looked into why my previous executive director, Mr. Lowry, was fired.”

My heart rate was quickening, and my eyes were wide as I waited, watching him like he was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

“It was gross misconduct,” I breathed.

He closed the file with a snap, and the low rumble in his chest told me he wasn’t messing around.

“I know that part, Evelyn. So are you going to tell me how
you
got the job? No skills, no qualifications, yet you get into one of the greatest law firms in London? The second best internationally?”

“I…” I hated the way he was looking through me even as I tried to ignore that his behaviour hurt. I was also trying to think of my defence strategy, but he didn’t give me the time.

He pressed his palms on the desk and leaned forwards. “I’ll remind you, shall I? The reason you got the job, Evelyn, is because you
fucked the boss
.” He spat the last words at me like I was some sort of whore and he couldn’t stand the sight of me.

“It…it wasn’t like that.” I had no idea why I was stammering. Was it because I was so scared of losing my stable job, the one thing that got me on a narrow path, or because of the way Parks was looking at me? What was he thinking when he found out about one of my many dirty secrets? And more to the point, why did I care?

He tilted his head back, looking dumbfounded, and let out an insulting laugh. “Then what was it like? Because I’m failing to understand. No, wait, I do understand. You fucked him to get the job. He got fired because he let slip he was fucking an employee but then kept his mouth shut about you. Why? Did he love you?”

“No…I don’t know, and neither do I care.”

He clenched his jaw and pushed off the desk when I mentioned Lowry might have loved me. “Because you don’t care about anyone, Evelyn.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t upset, I was more surprised at his attitude. “That’s not true.”

Parks ignored me and continued to speak callously. “You know, I should be firing you the same as Lowry was. I should be reprimanding Carla for not looking into this and—”

“There’s no need for that.” I was trying to save myself, so I had to act with grace. “I know your firm has reputation to keep, Mr. Parks, but I don’t know how this got out. He said he would make sure it wouldn’t.” At the time, I’d told him I wouldn’t have cared if it did. Now, seeing how furious Parks was, and how he was looking at me in a completely different way, my past remark seemed to be biting me in the arse.

He smirked wryly. “Oh, he did make sure the woman he was fucking wouldn’t be exposed. He only told
me
because I had him by the balls.”

I blinked and felt my heart twist. “Excuse me?”

He turned to look out the windows at the sunshine. His tone was almost proud as he clasped his hands behind his back and rolled back on his heels. “I paid him a visit. I wanted to know personally why one of my top executives had been fired. I had a feeling which one of you he was fucking. After all”—he faced me—”it wouldn’t have been Patricia, would it?”

I gasped. “This isn’t about your precious company reputation. You just couldn’t stand the fact I fucked another man.”

His dark features didn’t relax and neither did he deny it. “That’s beside the fucking point.”

Wow. My body recoiled at his words. He had never cursed at me or spoke harshly. He didn’t even seem to notice my alarmed response to his sudden mood change. “It’s exactly the point. The men I slept with in the past are my business and mine only. It has nothing to do with you.”

He walked towards me, fast and infuriated. “Yes, it does,” he spoke quickly, “because I can’t stand the idea of any other man having his dirty hands all over you. It also begs the question…”

I swallowed hard. “Which is?”

He ran his gaze over my body quickly in a dirty glance. “You say you don’t have feelings for men, but you’ve slept with most of London.”

I gasped, stunned at his audacity, and without hesitation I slapped him across his face. “How fucking dare you,” I snarled. “You know fuck all about me.”

He opened his eyes wide. The cold shield he’d put up seemed to have fallen with the impact of my slap. “Shit, Evelyn. I didn’t mean that. Forgive me.”

I smacked his hands away as he tried to pull me into his arms. I was hurt. Of course I was. But I wouldn’t show it, and neither would I let him near me.

“Yes, you did. I bet you’ve slept with the whole of America, but do you see me insulting you because of it?”

He turned his back on me and threw his arms up in the air. “Because you have no sense of emotion, Evelyn. You show traces but never admit your feelings.”