Denying Mr. Parks (The Parks #1) (17 page)

I swallowed down the pesky lump in my throat and glared at him. “Well, like you just said, I have none. You know what, go ahead and fire me. You’re right about me not having any qualifications. The truth is, I’m incapable of achievements. I can’t do anything right and have always been told so. So if you think that telling me I have no business working in your top law firm is a shock to me, then you’re wrong. I have been put down my whole life, so it doesn’t bother me if you want to do it too, Parks. I can deal with it, like I always have. So throw at me what you will, call me names if you like, because after all, I’m the girl with the thick skin that can cope with it. I’m the girl with no feelings, so what does it matter if I get called names and get belittled? You know what, I’ll leave if it’s best.” My voice was croaking and low, but I wouldn’t cry. I couldn’t.

His eyes mellowed, filling up with empathy. What I had admitted struck a nerve. “Evelyn, I can’t stand that you’re demeaning yourself. There is nothing unworthy about you. Please, please forgive me for what I just said.”

“Nothing?” I laughed. “You’re a hypocrite. You just told me I had no skills and no right to work here. You demoralized me about fucking an ex manager and then told me I’d probably fucked the whole of London. Now tell me how you think I’m worthy?”

He rushed to my side to take hold of my hands, ignoring my brush-off. “I didn’t mean any of that, Evelyn. I was mad. Mad at you for sleeping with a man like Lowry when you deny me. Mad at the idea of another man using you as some sex toy.”

I laughed at how he was trying to make me look innocent and how much he was still a hypocrite. “Isn’t that what you’ve done?”

His head recoiled, and he let my hands slip out of his. “What?”

“You fucked me last night and then left. Is that not using me?”

He wouldn’t listen to me accusing him of such things and hated that I did. “You’re wrong. That was punishment, Evelyn. You were bad, and bad behaviour requires discipline. I have told you I need discipline. I need control, and that’s what last night was. You think I just fucked you and never thought about it afterwards? Do you realise how much I actually desire you, Evelyn? Do you realise how good it felt to be inside you yesterday? I told you I wouldn’t speak during fucking you because it was your punishment, but if it wasn’t, I would have told you that being deep inside your sweet body was like nothing I have experienced before, and I need more of it. I need more of you.”

I regained composure after listening to his declaration, because I couldn’t get sucked into it. It was all for show. He didn’t really need me. A man like Parks didn’t need anything.

“You can’t have more.” I spoke quietly as it didn’t matter if I shouted it. He still wouldn’t understand.

His jaw tightened in clear loathing of my disobedience. “And why is that?”

I turned the tables on him because I wasn’t going into me. “Why is it you need discipline?”

He blinked at my sudden question and straightened out his light blue tie. “I just do. No explanation is needed.”

Was he as guarded as I was? I knew the look of defence, because I adopted it myself. I also knew he wasn’t going to start telling me what “Wade’s world” included. So I changed the subject.

“So am I fired?”

He sagged against the desk. “No. But I will make sure Lowry never steps foot in another law firm again.”

I felt relieved, but it wasn’t fair that I had gotten away with what I’d done yet Parks was making Lowry’s life hell. “You think it was all him? It wasn’t.” I didn’t know why I was sticking up for him, but I knew how to hold my hands up when I had done wrong.

“Yes, because he made you an offer you couldn’t refuse, and then he took full fucking advantage.” He pushed his hands through his dark hair. He was obviously tortured by the thought.

“What did you do to him?” I winced, knowing it wouldn’t have been pretty. Parks was a man of confidence, control, and high authority. But I was convinced he was hiding a bad, dark temper.

He glanced at me through dark lashes, projecting egotistical satisfaction. “What didn’t I do to him is the question.”

I closed my eyes at his response. “What if he presses charges?”

“He won’t.”

“You’re sure?”

“Am I sure?” he toyed. “Why do you care, Evelyn?”

I didn’t know why I did, so I didn’t say anything, because admitting feelings I didn’t want to feel was detrimental.

The silence stretched on for a while, until he spoke gently. “Come sit with me.” He wrapped his fingers in mine and made me follow him around the desk. He kicked out the chair with his foot, then sat down and pulled me onto his lap. His smartphone never stopped ringing, but he ignored it every time I was in his presence, and that was surprisingly satisfying. He stroked my hair as I rested my head on his chest. I couldn’t understand why I was willingly doing so. It felt so wrongly right. He was warm, protecting, and comforting, and his masculine fragrance soothed me. Strangely, I welcomed his affection.

“Evelyn, tell me why you lack the ability to find happiness in anything.”

I sighed heavily as I laid against his chest. I knew the answer, yet I was clueless. “It’s like I once read,” I began. “The things that mess us up in life are the fantasies inside our heads telling us how life is meant to be. How life should be. When really, life is a living nightmare.”

He drew in a hasty breath. “A nightmare? You’re a beautiful, feisty young woman. How can that be anything but a dream?”

“Like you said, I have a broken smile that can’t be fixed. You wouldn’t understand.”

He pushed me off his chest gently and gazed into my eyes. “Then make me.”

I was about to talk, and easily, which came as a shock to me, but a knock on the door made me jump to my feet. It was Jittery Joanna.

“Mr. Parks…” she said as she entered, “I…” Her expression soured as she gave me the once-over. She was fully aware of where I’d been sitting and hated it. The look she gave me proved it. “I have Mrs. Parks on the line,” she said as she moved her gaze from me and pinned it on him “She’s desperate to speak with you.”

Mrs. Parks? His wife? My heart hopped in its cage.

“Tell my mother to wait, Joanna.”

Oh. His mum. I may have deflated. A little.

“Oh, okay.” She gave me another scrutinizing look and left us.

“I don’t think she likes me.” I snickered, finding it highly amusing. Not many people did.

He tugged the hem of my skirt and pulled me down onto him again. “What matters is I like you.”

“I don’t know why.” I shifted in his lap, and his hardness grew beneath me. Jesus.

“Stop,” he demanded.

I wriggled from his lap and straightened myself out, mindlessly glancing out the windows at the London streets below. I knew I had to leave, but Parks didn’t want to let me. I felt him walking towards me, then he slid his hands across my stomach as he rested his chin on my shoulder. I flinched a little from his contact, until he whispered soothingly against my neck.

“You look beautiful today, Evelyn. You look beautiful every day.”

I prised his hands from me and moved away. “I better get back to work.”

“Let me take you out tonight?” he asked, stopping me in my tracks.

“Well…I…” I didn’t want to carry this on with him. I was confused because I knew I didn’t want anything from him, yet when we were together, he made my judgment take flight.

“Let me rephrase that.” He pointed at me. “I
am
taking you out tonight.”

“But you want me as your date, and I don’t want to be. My only other option is if we go as friends.”

His jaw tightened again, the way it always did when I defied him, but he exhaled harshly through his nose after a beat. “As you wish.”

“Thank you.” I could deal with that. He could be my friend. That way, I didn’t have to admit having feelings for him and neither would I be hurting Alex.

“I will pick you up at eight. No short dresses.”

I gaped at him. “You can’t tell me how to dress.”

He gave me an amused smirk. “I do not wish to, but I can’t change the dress code for where I am taking you.”

“Oh. Okay.” That’s all right, then, I thought.

He walked back around the desk and lowered his delicious body down into the seat, opened up his laptop, and raised his brow at me. “You better get to work before Clarke kicks your butt.”

“My butt?” I laughed because of the word, and because of the way he said it.

“Arse, then.” He shrugged, doing another English accent. I shivered in delight every time he did it.

“You know, you’re quite good at that.”

“What?” He frowned, looking clueless, which was quite adorable.

“An English accent.”

“Of course I am.” He shrugged, completely serious.

“Such an arrogant arse,” I murmured on my way out.

Clarke huffed when I re-entered the room and shot me a folder. “Evey, you’re impossible. Scan this array of photographs for me, please. Oh, and I wouldn’t take too much notice of them if you’re squeamish.”

Of course I looked. Then looked away immediately. I knew a murder investigation when I saw one.

I got home around six p.m. after accepting a lift from Cleaver. Parks was busy, so I rode alone. When I got in, I ran myself a bath, then opened up my wardrobe and sighed as I looked at what to wear. I knew it couldn’t be short, and I wasn’t sure whether I believed that was because of the restaurant’s requirements or Parks’s.

I settled on a tight-fitting, mid-length, nude dress. It could be worn bandeau, but I kept the straps on to support my ample breasts. The colour looked good against my light olive skin and dark brown hair, so it was a definite yes. I spritzed Black Opium on my wrist, my neck, and behind my ears, then quickly looked in the mirror again before leaving my room. I never saw beauty. I always saw those words my mother used to stab into me when I looked at my reflection, so I never really stared for long.

I was actually on time when I looked at the clock as I entered the living room, which had to be a first. I found Steph and Mathew watching TV, looking bored to death, but their eyes popped out when they saw me. Steph made a point of closing Mathew’s mouth.

“A date with Alex?” Steph beamed, sitting up and clapping her hands.

“No. A friend, actually,” I replied, a little distracted as I applied my pink lip gloss.

“A friend?” She looked at me in shock. “I’m your only friend.”

I chuckled at the fact, but now I had a new friend. “It’s a work colleague, chill out.” I popped my lip gloss back into the tube and dropped it into my purse.

Steph frowned, getting more curious by the minute and glanced at Mathew for advice. He shrugged like he didn’t care. She continued like Sherlock Holmes. “I know you didn’t get dressed up like that for a woman.”

“What, I’m not allowed to look nice?”

She was taken aback a little, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of my announcement or because of how distracted I came across.

“Am I invited?” Yes, she was grumpy, grumpy because I hadn’t invited her and she had no idea who I was going out with. And maybe a little because she had to stay in with Mathew.

“Steph, you’re having a night in with Mathew.”

“He won’t mind. Will you?” She shot him a hopeful look. She didn’t care if he cared.

“No, don’t mind me.” He slumped down into the sofa and tried to make out he wasn’t bothered, but he clearly
was
bothered.

“No. I’m leaving. Good-bye.”

“Have fun,” she murmured petulantly, sinking back into the sofa with her arms crossed.

As precise as clockwork, the Jaguar was waiting when I walked outside. When Parks elegantly climbed out, my heart stopped for a second. He wore a crisp white shirt that was open slightly at the collar. It showed a small fraction of trimmed chest hair that made me swallow hard. The white dress shirt was paired with navy blue, fitted suit trousers that hung from his hips delectably, and his black wing-tipped shoes finished off his classy look. He completed it with a gold watch, and his dark hair was styled more precise than usual. I sort of had a thing for his hair. When he didn’t style it finely it looked like just-fucked hair, hair that oozed sex appeal and dishevelled perfection and that “I don’t care if it’s tousled, I still look good” attitude. Not many men could pull that off.

Whipping myself out of my Parks trance, I caught his gaze rolling slowly down the length of my body.

“Evelyn, you look…sensational.”

“I do not.” I brushed off the compliment and looked over Parks’s breathtaking posture once more. “But you…” I didn’t finished my sentence as the amused twitch his lips gave stopped me from talking.

“Was that almost a compliment?”

I yawned, purposely. “Shut up, Parks. Don’t get used to it.”

“It’s Wade,” he corrected, and I sensed his smirk as I passed him to climb into the car, then said hello to Cleaver.

“Does he ever go home?” I whispered.

Parks whispered back, copying my actions. “No, he lives in this car.”

I laughed, shoving him in his chest, so he brought me into him by wrapping his arm around my shoulder.