Denying Mr. Parks (The Parks #1) (36 page)

His head shot up to look at me in shock, but not because of my demand. It was because I had used his name. Biting his bottom lip, he removed his fingers from my entrance and breathed.

“Use my mouth where, Evelyn?”

He knew where I meant, but he wanted me to say it. I had never talked dirty during sex before, but Parks did it so erotically I wanted to converse that way with him.

“Here.” I moved my hand down to my sex and cupped it gently, spawning a low groan from Parks.

“Your sweetness?” he confirmed. I nodded breathlessly. “Hmm, your sweetness is now mine.” He bowed his head and replaced my fingers with languid, erotic strokes of his tongue into the centre of my sodden cleft.

“Ah, that’s it,” I gasped, rolling my hips into his mouth, following the slow pace of his dexterous tongue.

“You taste so sweet.”

My back arched slightly from the bed as he pushed two fingers into me, and I dug my hands into the bedsheets whilst he rolled them in and out of my entrance. He lapped between my folds as he bobbed his head up and down. The sweet drift of his fingers easing in and out of me got me building to a fever that erased all thoughts. My body convulsed to a dangerous, entranced level that I wanted to stay upon.

“Wade, I’m…” But of course he knew I was staggering to those heights he set me upon.

“Hmm. I know.”

I wailed as my body’s temperature soared. “Oh God, yes.” My mind went blank, and my body began to jerk, my legs trembling as he slid his tongue around my pressure point. He made me come monumentally. I clung to his hair, tightening my legs around his head whilst my body bucked to try and ride the wave of my arousal. The core of my sex clenched whilst pumping my liquids into his mouth. It was so sensitive, so tender, and I tried to move my sex away from any more delicious torture, but Parks held my thighs down with his forearms and continued his sweet disarray.

“Wade, I can’t,” I begged. My body couldn’t take any more.

“You can. I need to taste more,” he taunted huskily before delving into my cleft with his tongue to draw another mind-blowing, body-imploding orgasm from me. I rolled around the bed with his lips firmly stuck between my thighs. And when he lifted his head after my second orgasm, he gave me no time to compose myself.

“Taste what I crave, Evelyn,” he ordered before crashing his mouth into mine on a loud, predatory growl and lashing his tongue inside to make me taste my own arousal; and damn it was good.

I cried into his mouth, wrapping my legs around his waist. His body was damp against mine, and the heat radiating from him was catching. It turned me greedy to have his muscles under my palms, and the way he felt beneath my touch pleasured me to the deep core and drove me wild. My hands all over his body were fanatical. I’d never gotten to touch his impeccable body during sex before, and I was taking complete advantage.

“I need you naked.” It was a demand, and he moved to get up and obey. But I shook my head, pulling him back into me.

“Just like this,” I pled on a whisper. “Please, just like this.” I gazed with lust into his stunning face. His features were burning, his vivid green irises tender. I was staring at a man who had a craving for me, and the only way he could suppress it was to make sure I came undone. He also had other tastes: to dominate, to punish, to be obeyed and take control. I craved that side of him because I understood it, but I denied his other sides because they confused me and would undoubtedly make me weak.

He nibbled on my earlobe, which was a weak spot for me, so I writhed under his touch. I felt his smirk against my sweltering skin as he quickly kissed down my shoulder blade and across my breast. “I’ve never wanted any woman as much as I want you, and believe me when I say that. Why do you do this to me, Evelyn?”

I tugged on his hair, pulling him up to meet my lips again. I felt unusually needy and impatient. “I don’t know.” How on earth I made a man like Parks lust after me would never cease to amaze me.

I then suspected Parks had feelings towards me that maybe skirted the boundaries of just sex. I didn’t know for certain, but I did know in that moment that I felt like Parks had unlocked a shackle from around my heart. Warmth flowed through my veins from hearing what I meant to him, from knowing he wanted to protect me. Yet I still didn’t know the reason he felt this way. Still, I wanted to show him I needed him now.

“Capture me, Wade,” I begged.

His eyes grew wide and dark as intense arousal flared within them. “Oh, Evelyn. I captured you the very moment I set eyes upon you. And you have seized me.”

Parks’s bewitching approval sent a violent shiver of arousal right through my body, and I had never in my life felt so enthralled, heated, and alive as I did in that moment.

He propped up on his elbows so we were nose to nose. “This time, I get to watch you call my name whilst I devour your sweetness.”

“Hmm,” I moaned as he plunged deep with one fierce thrust, rasping out my name as he sank into me. My cry got tangled with his, and our bodies shuddered together from the intense feeling of satisfaction. Satisfaction, yes, but we also felt a connection; an emotional connection, a physical connection. My body accepted his body infinitely. I didn’t understand it, but it was evidently there. It was also evident that I couldn’t admit it.

“Jesus fucking Christ.
Evelyn
.” He rolled his hips against mine as if he was relishing the feel of being inside of me, baring himself. “So warm. So snug. So good. Your sweetness fits around me indisputably.” His kissed my lips once, then pulled out. I was already pressing my fingers into his forearms as I knew it was going to be a sweet blow. It was more than that. He slammed forwards on a determined growl, and I cried out again, digging my nails into his arms as he took total domination of my body. Furthermore, I let him.

I was a quick-fumble kind of girl; no emotion, no real kissing, just get it over and done with for my own pleasure. But this was different. He was different. My body plummeted to a dangerous level of desire I never felt before. A level Wade Parks made impossible for any other to compete with.

He began to fuck me with wild thrusts, and I wailed as every deep plunge sent pleasure rippling through me like an explosive mass of heat. The growls rumbling through his chest felt raw, primitive, and sexy.

“
Evelyn
. My cock craves every ounce of you. I can’t get enough,” he hissed through his teeth, pumping his hips in and out as I clenched my legs around the solidness of his waist.

His hands were on either side of my head, his arm muscles on full display, and Jesus, were they impressive. I wanted to touch this god. I ran my fingers over his hard, damp arms, then pushed them through his hair and pulled his head close so our lips met. I needed them from him. Needed his all from him. Let me rephrase that.
My lips
needed his;
my body
needed his.

My moans made him pump even faster.

“Yes,” I hissed, “harder.” I took hold of his thrusting hips and pulled him down faster.

“You want it harder, Evelyn?”

If it was possible, I wanted him deeper, wanted him harder, and wanted him faster. Even though I already knew he was pushing the limits of what the human body allowed. But I wanted to push those limits farther, and he was a man who could comply.

“Please,” I groaned, digging my fingernails into his hips, pulling him into me more.

“Please, what?” he breathed.

“Please, Wade.”

With that, he knelt up, took hold of my legs, and placed my ankles onto his shoulders. He pushed into me with an inexorable force, causing the air to leave my lungs.

“Ah. Fuck,” I cried and he continued. Hard, aggressive, powerful. “Yes, Wade. Yes.” I called his name over and over, telling him how good it felt, clutching at the sheets. Our bodies were sweating, too hot and intense, and it magnified the build-up of my climax as my whole body contracted. Involuntarily, I tried to pull my legs down from his shoulders to ease the throb between them, but he kept them where they were.

“Come for me, Evelyn,” he bit out.

“Oh God.” My climax crashed through me so intensely it had me sobbing his name over and over in mindless delight.

“That’s it. Christ.” He bucked into me, shaking the bedframe. I briefly watched his head tilt back. His hard thrusts became short and soft as he climaxed, filling me with his warmth.

His slick body collapsed onto mine, and the hardness and weight of his perfection was welcome. He didn’t speak, and I didn’t have the air in my lungs to, either.

Parks’s kisses coaxed my aching body tenderly until my breathing mellowed. Jesus, I was stiff, and my sex was swollen, but I was happy. Shit. I felt happy after sex. That never happened.

After kissing the tip of my nose, he gazed into my half-open eyes. “You’re a beautiful woman, Evelyn. That was…” He couldn’t manage words. Neither could I. After pulling me into him so my back was against his chest, he wrapped me up in his arms like he was my shield. “I can’t get enough of you, Evelyn. Please don’t deprive me of that.”

I lost myself in his arms and suddenly realised the depth of a Christina Perry song I’d been listing to. I did feel safe in his arms, but I couldn’t let him save my life because it wasn’t salvageable. That I knew for sure.

“There isn’t enough of me to go around. Besides, I’m too much of a mind fuck for myself, never mind anyone else.”

“Don’t say that.” He sighed, nuzzling my hair. “Tell me, Evelyn, do you feel satisfied?”

“Yes,” I heaved out. “But guilty as hell.”

He shook his head in the crook of my neck. “I don’t understand you.”

I laughed. “That makes two of us.”

He starting stroking my hair softly and murmured, “This is nice. We can do this all night, Evelyn, just say the word.”

“Hmm,” I managed. My eyes drowsed as he pressed soothing kisses up my back and along my nape.

“But this time, I want you naked.”

My eyes flew open, and I sat up in bed, shimming away from him as he looked at me, stunned. “I should go,” I told him, trying to hide my panic.

“What? Why?”

I climbed off the bed and pulled on my trousers, trying to ignore how shaky my body was. “Because we’ve had sex. Now I’m leaving.”

He was climbing off the bed and coming towards me, so I turned and threw on my jumper to cover myself up.

“Why do you do this to me, Evelyn? You deny me after sex and act like what we have is meaningless.”

I spun around, startled by his hypercritical words. “And you don’t? You play cold mind games with me too, Parks.”

He began pacing the floor, gloriously naked and sporting another semi. “That’s not true. I made my feelings clear, Evelyn. Please. I’m asking you to stay with me.”

I tightened my arms around my chest, trying to protect myself from his touch, from his words. “I don’t stay with people, Parks. They fuck me and I leave. And you’ve fucked me, so now I’m leaving.”

He paused when he saw my defensive stance and flopped his hands at his sides. “But I’m asking you to stay.” His voice was soft, and underneath that steel armour he wore so well, I thought I could see vulnerability. But did he truly have any?

Still, I refused point-blank. “No.”

He tightened his jaw, containing his rage. “Why?”

I sagged, uncrossed my arms, and pressed my hand to the ache in my chest. “Why do you want me to stay?”

He winced, his expression telling me he was struggling to say it. “It hurts when you leave.”

I stared at him, blinking from his confession, trying to work out if he was being genuine. Trying to figure out where we could go from here. Listening to him tell me he hurt when I left warmed me completely. But I was always going to get the same answer to where Parks and I would end up. Nowhere.

My gaze dropped to the floor, and it was my turn to struggle finding words. “But it will hurt
me
if I
stay
.” I knew that definitively.

I heard his sharp intake of breath, then felt him approach. With his index finger, he pulled my chin up to face him, and for the first time since meeting him, I saw that shield he held over his eyes completely and willingly disappear.

“I would never hurt you, Evelyn. Ever.”

I swallowed hard. “I won’t give you a chance to prove that to me.”

He cupped my cheek in his hand in a rare tender gesture. “You won’t or you can’t?”

I swallowed again before answering him cynically. “I can’t.” My heart ached immediately, because I knew I had to deny anything that may be good for me. Love? Hope? I didn’t have those privileges. Ever. And I didn’t deserve them.

His eyebrows knitted together in painful confusion, and he let his hand drop from my cheek before turning his back on me. “Then I’ll drive you home.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

We rode the lift down in silence. Neither of us knew what to say, and when the doors pinged open, he gestured for me to walk out first. As soon as my foot left the lift, a voice called me from across the lobby, making me whip my head around.

“Evey?”

My heart sank right down into the pit of my stomach as Julian jogged towards me. His expression wavered between confusion and utter suspicion.

“What are you doing here?” He looked at me quizzically, then glanced over at Parks as a lightbulb flickered inside his head. “Mr. Parks?” He was surprised to see him, suddenly straightening himself up in front of the CEO.

I saw his cut lip from the punch I’d given him but quickly forgot that I shouldn’t have spoken to the creep, because the situation he’d stumbled upon called for an explanation. “Mr. Parks asked me to join him in the gym.”

Now he was fully suspicious, which wasn’t good. “Oh? I didn’t see you, and I’ve just come off shift.”

The word
fuck
instantly entered my head, but I couldn’t risk a glance towards Parks; it would have looked shifty.

“We went for a swim,” I said quickly, wincing at my own uneasiness. I could hear Parks’s low, unappreciative groan beside me, which had me worried he was going to give me away. Instead he added his own cocky answer.

“You should have seen her breast stroke. It’s remarkable.”

What?

Julian nodded slowly with permanent, furrowed brows. “Right. I’ll see you some other time.” Then he turned to Parks. “Nice to meet you again, Mr. Parks.”

I wasn’t sure if Julian had believed me or not. “Yeah, sure. Bye.” When Julian was out of sight, I slapped my forehead at my over-the-top good-bye and was met by Parks’s wrathful glare. He shook his head and walked away from me.

“Parks, wait,” I called desperately behind him. But he wouldn’t wait. He marched right outside the hotel and up to the valet. “Where are you going?” I called, chasing after him.

“Taking you home.” He was furious and didn’t want to speak to me, and that pissed me off. But more than that, I was confused by how angry his behaviour made me. Normally I would have marched off and flipped him the bird, but instead I was following him and trying to explain my actions.

“What if Julian tells Steph?”

He took his car keys from the valet’s palm and opened the passenger-side door for me, clenching his jaw tightly. “If he does, you can tell her exactly what you just told Julian, can’t you?” He sounded almost wounded, but he remained calm—too calm and extremely cold. I admit it, I hated him being like that.

“Parks, I don’t want to—”

“Just get in the fucking car, Evelyn,” he bit out sharply. I recoiled instantly. No one ever spoke to me like that. Not even Wade fucking Parks. I took hold of the car door and slammed it shut.

“You know what, fuck you, Parks. Fuck your demands and fuck your Jaguar.” I spun around on my heel and marched up the street. As I did, I counted in my head: three, two, one. Sure enough, I heard his stern voice.

“Evelyn, get in the fucking car.”

I turned around to face him whilst I carried on walking backwards. “Why? So you can boss me around?”

“You’re denying us, Evelyn, and you think that’s okay?” he said with an aggressive sweep of his hands.

“But there is nothing going on between us, Parks, so why would I tell Julian something that didn’t need to be said?”

He stopped in his tracks, and his face fell. My remark had offended him. “You think what we have is nothing? You think our relationship is insignificant?”

I rubbed my aching eyes, exhausted from fighting him and my emotions. I was living in a mess of my own making and was forever in a muddle. Could, and would, my feelings for Parks grow? If they did, I would inevitably feel damaged even further. I was already depending on him for punishment, and I had never depended on anyone in my life. But it felt good to be punished, even though he didn’t know why I wanted it. I was a fucked-up mess and couldn’t even explain it myself. I didn’t want to accept we may have had that special something because I was afraid. Fear was my enemy. So as usual, I lied and defended myself.

“It’s just fun, Parks.”

“Fun?” He inhaled an offended breath. “You think what we have is just
fun
?” He spat the word like it left a sordid taste in his mouth.

I swallowed the lump that had appeared in my throat. “Isn’t it?”

His eyes looked hurt, and that showed me he was only human. Only human with a vulnerability he always made sure he guarded. Then he turned and walked away from me. He got into his car and sped off in a temper with wheels screeching, leaving me standing there, speechless and overwhelmed by the emotions attacking me from all angles. These were the ones I kept locked away or hidden under the influence of alcohol. But now they were making an appearance, released from their cage by a key that belonged to Parks, and surely they were going to start showing on the outside. And that terrified me.

I was shaking and seething as I marched to the nearest bus stop. I had too much going on in my head. If I kept going to Parks for punishment, that would mean I was giving him a part of myself—a part I didn’t want to give him. Yet he was right when he said he held an erotic power over me. He knew how to make me feel liberated after a spanking session as if it had washed away my sins. But was that all there was to it? Apart from feeling magnificent when he was inside me and the spectacular, mind-blowing orgasms he gave me, was there something more?

Yes, he ticked every single tick-able box on my list. He was incredibly handsome with the most beautiful, vivid green eyes known to man. His body was to die for, and so was the way he carried himself—strong, masculine, controlled, and confident. He was intriguing, sexy, and yes,
hot
. Extremely fucking hot. Apart from the physical aspects, I also felt I could talk to him. It was liberating but scary at the same time.

That was another thing. Was I scared Parks would learn about my past I had desperately tried to keep hidden, and that I would repulse him if he knew? Even though I tried to keep the past in the past, it never seemed to want to let me go. I felt trapped by it. And Parks being around me made things worse instead of better. For a normal girl, it should have been the opposite. But I wasn’t normal. I was damaged goods and beyond repair, and a highly respected businessman like Parks had no business with me. Of course he didn’t.

I checked my phone when I got to my flat and saw a text from Steph that said she would be staying at Mathew’s that night. She was clearly doing this because of our argument, but it was fine by me.

As soon as I got into the living room I felt a chill and noticed the window had been left open. Steph must had forgotten to close it. Stupid girl. As I shut it, I glanced through the glass and saw the Jaguar parked on the street outside. A second later, the doorbell rang. My shoulders sagged as I exhaled an exhausted breath.

“What?” I answered the door with my arms crossed. My eyes narrowed at the sight of him. He had his hands in his pockets and was watching me sternly.

“I followed you. Letting you travel home by yourself was reckless of me. I wanted to make sure you got in safely. Like a gentlemen should.”

A gentlemen? Ha. “That’s all?” I knew it wasn’t. The uncharacteristic way he kept opening and closing his mouth told me as much.

“That’s all,” he agreed without making any attempt to leave. I stood there holding the door open as we stared at each other whilst hot desire rolled between us.

He took a small step forwards and into my flat. I followed his gaze as I took a step back to allow him to enter fully. He closed the door with his foot, then brushed my cheek with his knuckles. “Please don’t deny what we have, Evelyn. You said what we have is
fun
, and maybe at the beginning it
was
just sex. Amazing sex between two people who didn’t want to admit their feelings. But the more I think of you, the more it pains me to stay away. We have a connection. Everything fits together perfectly between us. Don’t you see? This could be the beginning of something beautiful.”

Wow. This was the most honest he’d ever been about how he felt, and yes, a sparkle of delight shifted through me at his words. But I couldn’t accept them.

“Nothing we have could ever be beautiful because I’m an ugly person, and everything I carry around with me is the same. What we have is just sex, Parks. I agree, its amazing sex, but that’s it. I never should have asked you to punish me, and I shouldn’t keep giving in to your persuasion. I don’t even know you. I…” I had so much to say, but for the first time in my life, I was speechless.

“Not a damn inch of you is ugly, Evelyn Banks. I will not hear of it. And as for not knowing me, no one knows me, Evelyn. I think the same is true of you. I can see how closed off you are. How hidden and guarded you come across. And I know I’m not that good with words, but haven’t my actions shown you how much I want you? How much I want that
more
?”

He wanted that
more
with me? But why?

“Words speak louder than actions to me, Parks, because my whole life I’ve had actions thrown at me, whether it be a fist, a smack, the cold shoulder. Anything but kind words. Words mean everything to me. But then, how do I know they’re real?”

Pain stung his eyes from what I’d told him, and I could tell he was eager to ask about the abuse I’d mentioned, but he treaded carefully. “Then let me prove to you. If it’s words you need, then I’ll give them to you. I’ll write you a whole fucking novel if I have to.”

I groaned in irritation and walked into the living room. “You’re only saying what you think I want to hear.”

His groan mirrored mine as he followed. “Then what is the point in telling you how I feel when you won’t believe me?”

I couldn’t believe the words and the emotions he was trying to prove because he couldn’t justify them. “You haven’t told me how you feel, Parks. You’ve told me you need me. You’ve told me you feel connected to me. But why? Why do I make you feel this way?”

He threw up his hands, exasperated. “I don’t fucking know, Evelyn. You think this is easy for me? A woman who is—at times—unbearable, pigheaded, stubborn, and crazy is making
me
crazy.”

“I make you crazy?” My heart was thumping dramatically. The conversation was making me anxious, but I ploughed through.

“Yes, you do. I have never fallen for a woman before. Never had to explain myself. I don’t chase, I don’t play games. Everything with me is always straightforward. No-nonsense. Just fucking and done. With you, everything I’m about is changing. My morals and control fly out of the window, and I don’t know how to handle that. I am a man of control, Evelyn, but with you, I have none.”

Looking at up the ceiling, I prayed to be taken out of the situation, but I was in the depth of it and had to ride it through. I had to talk, had to feel, had to try and work through my discomfort. “If you really thought that about me, then why do you fuck with my head? We have sex, and you go cold on me. Your actions fuck with my head because I don’t know who I am when I’m around you. I need control too, and you don’t realise how much. I can’t accept what we have is anything other than dangerous mind games.”

His back went rigid. “Mind games? The only one that has ever played mind games, Evelyn, is you. I’ve always tried to tell you what I want from you. I told you to get rid of Alex the instant I found out about him, and that was the same time I stopped fucking other women, but you disobeyed my wishes. You still continued to date him. You’ve had me chasing you for weeks. We sleep together, you depend on me for punishment, and I think we’re finally getting somewhere until you tell me all we are is
fun
. What the fuck am I supposed to think?”

I slammed my fist on the kitchen counter. “You don’t know me. So don’t tell me what I’ve done to you is a fuck up when you have no idea how I feel. You don’t know what goes on inside my head.”

He walked towards me, but I pushed him away with my palm against his chest. That didn’t stop him from trying. He took my fighting hands into his and pleaded. “Then let me in.”

I pushed him away again and spat, “I will never let anyone in.”

Sagging, he let my hands go. They fell down to my sides lifelessly as he took a step away from me. “Why am I bothering?”

I screamed when I answered him, balling my hands into fists. “I never told you to bother. So go ahead. Leave. Because everyone else seems to abandon me. Why should you be any different?”

That made him change his stance. He tensed, and the intensity of his stare, the predatory heat in his eyes made me back down.

“Because I am different, Evelyn.” He marched back towards me, threw his body into mine, and sent me backwards into the fridge with a thud. “And you will be mine. Even if I have to fight
you
for
you
.”

I whimpered as he picked me up and assaulted my mouth whilst moving around the kitchen with me wrapped around his waist. We were fighting with each other to stop, yet bowing down to the need we both inexplicably felt towards one another.

“I can’t stop now.” He attacked my mouth again as we crashed into anything that got in our way.