Authors: Tamsyn Bester
Helpless. That’s how I feel. I see the fear and pain marring Kyler’s face, and
wish there was something I could do to ease it. But I can’t. Life is cruel and
unpredictable, and I feel my heart crack between my ribs for what he’s about
to face.
“What do you mean you have something else to tell me?” Kyler grinds out,
his hands balled into fists. I rest my hand on his arm, hoping to calm him,
but he just brushes me off.
His mother, Estelle, sniffles, and looks down at her weary husband. He nods
once and her sad, desolate eyes move back to Kyler.
“Your father,” she takes a breath, and I can see she’s struggling to keep her
composure, “has stage four pancreatic cancer.”
Kyler’s face pales and he looks between his parents. “How long have you
known?”
“A week,” his father croaks out. I cover my mouth with my hand, and feel the
tears burning my eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kyler roars. His mother flinches, and her tears
start streaming down her face.
“Son,” his father reprimands. Even in his weak state, Robert Knight’s voice
still has an authoritative tone.
“No, Dad! I deserved to know! You’re dying, and you didn’t think your only
son needed to know?”
Another sob comes from across the room and my heart drops at the sight of
Estelle. She’s devastated.
I bring my hand up to Kyler’s chest, his heart racing beneath my palm. “Kyler,” I call his name softly, and he looks at me.
His eyes are glazed, tears forming and spilling over the rims of his eyelids. It
kills me to see him like this, so confused and so lost, like a little boy instead
of a grown man. His body relaxes and he drops into the chair next to his father’s hospital bed. His head rests in his palms, and I watch his shoulders
shake as he cries.
“Cassey, sweetheart.”
My eyes dart up at the sound of Robert’s voice, and he gives me a sad smile.
“Can you give us a minute, please?”
I nod, wiping my face, and he turns to his wife. “Let me talk to him,” he says
to her. She kisses his forehead and then his lips. I feel like I’m intruding, but
I can’t tear my eyes away from them. Their love and adoration for one another is palpable, and so true that my heart breaks all over again.
I couldn’t imagine having to say goodbye to the love of my life after spending more than half my life with that person at my side. Estelle walks over to
me, and I wrap my arms around her waist as we leave Kyler and his father
alone. I don’t know what to say, so I keep quiet. Estelle doesn’t seem to mind
though. She sits silently in the uncomfortable waiting room chair and stares
out the window.
An hour later, a nurse walks in, and looks at Estelle. “Mrs. Knight, your husband is looking for you.” She nods, and gets to her feet, turning to face me.
“Thank you, Cassey, for being here with Kyler,” she says, a sad smile slipping
onto her face. I rise to my feet and hug her tightly.
“I’m so sorry.” A sob escapes and her arms tighten their hold on me. “If you
need anything, please, don’t hesitate to ask.”
She pulls back to look at me, and her hand cups my face. “Thank you, sweet
girl,” she pauses, “My husband is right about you.”
Before I can ask what she means, Estelle turns around and disappears around
the corner, leaving me alone in the waiting room. Instead of going in search
of Kyler, I decide to head home, and give him some time with his parents.
This is a lot to process, and I don’t want to intrude. I also feel guilty, because
while Kyler is dealing with this news, I’m thinking about where this leaves
us, whatever version of an us we are. God, how could I be thinking about this
right now? I chastise myself. I shake my head and pull up the number for a
cab company. Kyler needs time, but I find myself hoping that when he leaves
the hospital later, it will be me he seeks out.
My mother and Cassey leave the hospital room, and I inhale, craving air like
I’m starved for it. My chest is tight, my vision blurred, and I feel… I don’t
know what I feel. What are you supposed to feel after something like this?
After learning that you’re going to lose one of the most important people in
your life? Not even as a grown man am I prepared for this.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, my voice hoarse. I look up and find my father regarding me carefully.
“We haven’t known long,” he replies. “I saw the oncologist last week for the
first time, when he gave me the prognosis.”
“I should’ve known,” I tell him, barely reigning in my anger. “I could’ve been
there with you and mom.”
“I’m sorry, son,” he says. “But your mother and I needed time to process it
ourselves before we told you. I didn’t want you worrying, with everything
you’ve had going on at work - ”
I stand up in rush, shoving the plastic chair away. “I don’t care about work,”
I interrupt. “I care that you’re going to die and didn’t tell me, Dad. You are
more important than the company.”
My father sighs and I suddenly notice how sick he looks. He has always been
the strong one in our family, and now all I see is a weary man with limited
time left to live.
“Kyler, take a seat. There are a few things we need to talk about.”
I calm my breathing, wishing that Cassey was back here. One touch from her
and my heart slowed. Her presence calms me. I need her.
“You’ve made me so proud,” my father starts, “and I have no doubt that you
are ready to take my place at Knight Media. I didn’t want you worrying
about me because the legacy I have left is now yours to protect, and grow, so
that one day, it will go to your son or daughter. The next few weeks are going
to be difficult, for all of us, but I need you to make me a promise.”
His eyes glaze over and I feel my throat tighten to the point where speaking
is impossible, so I just nod. He has weeks left.
“Take care of your mother and be the man I have raised you to be.”
I swallow, and wipe a tear that slips down my face. “I promise,” I choke out.
“Good,” my father sniffs. “I have one more thing to ask of you, and then no
more mushy, ‘doom and gloom’ for today.”
“Okay.”
“Take care of Cassey.”
His request catches me off guard, despite my inability to stop thinking about
her.
“What do you mean?”
He chuckles, and shakes his head. The small smile on his face helps ease the
weight pressing down on my chest.
“Even a blind man can see how you feel about her, Ky. Don’t say I didn’t warn
you.”
I could feign ignorance, but that would be pointless. My father is right, and
he did warn me.
“Dad, I - ” I start to explain, feeling like I should apologize to my father.
Why, I don’t know, but it feels like the right thing to do.
“I knew it would happen,” he says ruefully. “I was counting on it.”
I frown, confused. “I don’t understand.”
“There was no reason for you to help Cassey with her presentation. She was
perfectly capable of doing it on her own, but I knew the minute you started
spending time with her, you would be drawn to her.”
I fiddle with my fingers in my lap, replying, “It’s nothing, we’re just - ”
“You care about her, son, I can see that, but it’s a little more than that.”
“You’re wrong,” I lie. “It hasn’t been long enough for it to be more.”
My father lets out a tired breath. “Did I ever tell you how your mother and I
met?”
I shake my head, “No.”
“I was your age,” he begins, “when we met. We were at some charity thing
with your grandparents and I spotted her at the bar. She was wearing this red
dress, all the men wanted to dance with her. I knew I didn’t stand a chance,
but the moment our eyes locked, I said to myself ‘I’m going to marry that
woman’ . Of course, when I plucked up the courage to ask her for a dance she
turned me down, and then again a second time, and a third.” I smile at the
look on my father’s face, and the love he so evidently has for my mother.
“It was months later,” he continues, “and we bumped into each other a coffee
shop, literally.” He laughs. “I spilled my coffee all over her white dress, and
after fighting in front of everyone, I gave her no choice but to go on a date
with me. A month later we were engaged, and your grandparents were furious, but your mother and I didn’t care. She became my reason to live, and the
day you were born, she gave me another reason.”
“I didn’t know that,” I say quietly. The air in the room grows thick, and the
melancholy returns. Being reminded of what we’re going to lose, and what
my father is going to leave behind is like a kick to the stomach. I don’t know
if I’m strong enough to be the man my father needs me to be. “But what does
it have to do with Cassey?”
“Time doesn’t matter. When you love someone, the way I love your mother,
you’ll know, and the amount of time it took you to get there will be irrelevant. But what does matter, is that you find the woman who will be your reason to live, who will stick with you, not during the good times but through
the hard times, and who will tell you when you’re being an ass. Find the
woman worth keeping, for more than sex, the one you can see your future
with. And when you look at her, you’ll know you’ve found her.”
My father’s words sink in, and Cassey’s face pops up. I miss her.
My father yawns and his eyes close. I stand up and squeeze his hand. “I’ll be
back later to check on you, okay, Dad?”
His eyes open briefly. “Okay. I love you, son.”
“Love you, Dad.”
I hear the front door shut and check the clock on my bedside table. It’s just
after one in the morning and I expected Kyler to go back to his apartment,
but I hear him walk down the hallway until his tall, muscular frame fills my
doorway. My eyes follow him as he walks in and starts pulling his clothes
off. He crawls over to me, the soft moonlight illuminates his sharp and now
haunted features. He hovers over me and his eyes convey everything he’s not
saying.
“Are you okay?” I ask quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.
He shakes his head, whispering, “Make it better, Cass, just for now.”
I pull Kyler’s head down to mine and I close my mouth over his. His hands
reach for the hem of my shirt and I lift my arms so that he can pull it off me.
He palms my breasts, sucking my tongue into his mouth, and I moan. My
hands roam to Kyler’s boxer briefs, and with the help of my feet, I slide them
down his legs so that he’s naked. He kneels up, and I feel my sleep shorts disappear, silently thanking Mother Nature that my period ended. Kyler reaches
for his jeans, searching for a condom. I stop him, touching his face.
“No,” I kiss the side of his mouth. “I don’t want anything between us.”
He hesitates, asking, “Are you sure?”
Nodding, I wrap my arm around his back and shift closer to him, shivering
when my breasts touch his hard pecs. He trails his fingers down my spine
and he lowers me onto the mattress, positioning me on my side. Kneeling,
Kyler straddles my leg, and goes to wrap the other around the side of his
waist. I feel the tip of his erection at my entrance, and let out an erotic sigh
when he pushes into me slowly until he’s buried balls-deep. I grip the pillow
under my head and bite my lip as Kyler’s cock strokes me, pushing in deeper
and deeper every time. I crane my neck slightly and watch Kyler, his brows
scrunched as he watches his shaft move in and out of me. The room fills with
our joint moans, our mouths open as we pant with reckless abandon. Kyler
takes his time, and just when I think I’m going to come, he pulls out and
rubs my clit with the head of his cock before pushing back in and starting all
over again.
“Kyler,” I whimper. “Please. I need…Oh God.”
My words are swallowed as Kyler bends over and captures my mouth, cupping my face. Our tongues dance and match the pace of Kyler’s hips. One
hand wraps around my neck and the other moves down to cup my breast.
He pushes into me harder and harder, and with one final thrust, my orgasm
erupts low in my belly and spreads heat through my blood and up my spine.
My nails dig into his forearms and I keep my eyes locked on his as I shake
violently. He sears me with his gaze, connecting me to him in a way I’m not
expecting. Something new sparks to life and my racing heart contracts, pulling us closer to each other. Kyler falls over the edge with me, and quickly
moves my leg from around his waist and collapses on top of me, still shaking from his release. I welcome the weight of his body on of me, inside me,
around me. His hot breath hits my neck and I feel his shoulders shake. I hug
him to me as realization dawns.
My heart, in it’s erratic state, breaks for him again, and I don’t let go, even as
his body continues to wrack with his broken sobs. Our relationship remains
undefined, but in this moment, I don’t care. I allow Kyler to take from me
what he needs, without words. Not knowing what comes next scares me, as
does my need to tell him what I’ve started to feel for him, but I put my own
needs aside and focus only on Kyler. He stays buried in me for what feels like
an eternity, and when he rolls over onto his side, he pulls me with him. He
opens his eyes, and with them he tells me what words can’t. As our breathing
slows, I feel my heart leave my chest and make itself at home in his.
I caress Cassey’s tits from behind as I push into her. She cranes her neck and
plants a searing, hungry kiss on my mouth before pulling away to catch her
breath.
“Oh God, Kyler,” she moans loudly. “Harder, baby, please.”
I grin, and soon the sounds of slapping skin, whimpers, and groans fill the
space in my bedroom. Cassey lifts her arms, and grips my head board as it
hits the wall. I lean over and kiss the damp skin between her shoulder blades.
I feel her pussy clench, and she squeezes, causing me to groan. It drives me
crazy when she does that.
“Be careful, baby,” I warn. Cassey squeezes again, and I almost lose it. I raise
my hand and slap her butt, causing her to cry out.
Wrapping my arm around her waist, I kneel back and bring her with me, her
back flush with my chest as her body moulds itself to fit mine. Her butt rests
in my lap and the shift in position makes my thrusts deeper.
We start moving up and down, and Cassey rests her head on my shoulder.
She smells so fucking good, like me, and sweaty sex. It’s become one of my
favorite scents, next to the Ellie Saab perfume that she loves to wear. I trail
my hand down, and slip my fingers over her swollen, sensitive clit, rubbing in
slow circles. Cassey grips my wrist, and her nails dig into my skin.
“Yes,” she cries out, exhaling harshly. “Yes, that’s so good… Ohhhhh.”
I sink my teeth into her shoulder, and thrust up once, twice and on the third
thrust, Cassey’s mouth drops open. “Ahhhhhhhh.”
Her body quivers in my arms, and I feel her muscles squeeze my cock, dragging my orgasm out of me. A bunch of expletives leave my mouth as I come,
hard and fast. Cassey’s hands rub up and down the side of my thighs as we
come down from our high, and work to catch our breath.
“You okay?” I ask her breathlessly. I palm her tits, feeling her heart race
against my hand.
She lets out a breathy giggle, and turns her head on my shoulder to face
me. “Never been better.” I kiss her deeply. “That was…incredible,” she whispers. Our eyes connect, and what I see should come as no surprise. Because
I feel it too. The more that has slowly creeped in, and changed everything
I thought I wanted with Cassey. Neither of us have had the courage to say
anything, and we seem to be content to leave our ‘relationship’ status as it is.
It suits me, for now. It’s been a week since we found out about my Father’s
illness, and the only time my fears and worries don’t fill my head is when I’m
with Cassey. It makes me feel guilty, like I’m using her, and maybe I am, but I
wouldn’t be getting through this if it weren’t for her.
The alarm goes off, and Cassey smiles at me, brushing a piece of hair from
her sweaty forehead.
Her skin has a light sheen of sweat, and her cheeks are flushed, her green
eyes shining bright. She looks incredible in the soft the lighting of the impending dawn.
“Good morning,” she says against my lips.
“A very good morning, indeed,” I reply, smirking.
I move back, missing the feel of her around me, and fall onto the bed feeling relaxed, and gratified. I watch Cassey bend down to collect my discarded
shirt and pull it over her shoulders. Her butt teases me, as do her curves, and
I feel my cock harden to half mast. I’ll never get enough of her sweet body.
She turns for the bathroom, and looks at me from over her shoulder with a
mischievous grin.
“You’d better hurry, we’ll be late for work.”
I follow her into the shower, and after another round of getting each other
off, we get dressed for work. We move in synch as we watch each other from
across the room, sharing secret glances, and trading unspoken words.
“You look beautiful, Miss Emerson,” I whisper, brushing her long brown
aside to expose her neck. My tongue moves to the spot below her ear.
“Thank you, Mr. Knight, but we’re going to be late, and I’m not sure about
you, but I’d like to keep my job.” She laughs, slapping away my wandering
hands.
“Don’t worry, I’ll put in a good word with the boss on your behalf.”
Cassey turns to face me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “No need,” she
says against my mouth. “I’m screwing the boss, and I can tell you he’s very
agreeable.”
With that, Cassey leaves me, and walks to the kitchen. I know what she said
is the truth, but what I’m not prepared for is how her words make me feel.
‘I’m screwing the boss’. I don’t like it.
I shrug the thoughts from my mind, and make my way to the kitchen.
After grabbing a quick breakfast, Cassey and I decide to walk to the office
instead of taking the town car.
“Are you going to stop by the hospital later?” she asks, looking up at me. Her
hair sways in the gentle breeze and I fight the innate need to run my fingers
though it.
“Yeah, I told my Mom I’ll stop by over lunch. You want to come with?”
“I wish I could, but I have a meeting and I thick it’ll run into my lunch hour.
But I’d like to go with you tonight, if that’s okay with you?”
“Of course,” I reply, giving her a small smile. I thread our fingers together
and ignore the way her eyes dart to the side of my face. We’ve already blurred
every other imaginary line in this ‘relationship’, why not just add to the list.
We reach the lobby, and step into the elevator. The few people around us get
off on the first floor, leaving us alone. I take the opportunity and push Cassey
up against the wall. She looks up at me from beneath her thick black lashes.
“You’re going to get me in trouble,” I tell her.
She lifts and eyebrow. “And why is that?”
“Because you look so fucking good in that dress, and I don’t think the security team would appreciate us having a repeat of this morning’s sexcapade on
camera.” I plant my lips on hers and kiss her. She laughs against my mouth.
“Then you’ll just have to be patient, and wait until tonight. Your place or
mine?”
“Neither,” I reply carefully.
“Oh,” she says. Her smile falters, and is replaced by a fake one. “That’s fine, I
need to work late anyway.”
The elevator doors chime, and Cassey tries to get past me. I grab her elbow,
and pull her back in.
“This car is full,” I tell the people wanting to get on. “Take the next one.”
The doors close and I press the emergency button to stop the elevator from
going anywhere. I take hold of Cassey’s chin, and lift her head so I can see
her eyes. They’ve always told me how she’s feeling, even if she doesn’t know
it. We can be lounging around on the sofa, or tangled and sweaty in sheets,
but I can always see what she’s really feeling with one look into those green
eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing,” she replies, too preppy.
“You’re lying. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing, Kyler, I’m fine. You should have fun tonight, with whoever
you’re going to be with.”
I look at her, and then understanding dawns. I can’t help the smirk that slips
across my face. “You think I’m going on a date.”
“What?” Cassey asks, her voice rising a few octaves. “No! That’s silly.”
I cup her face, and grin down at her. “It’s not a date,” I tell her. “I’m meeting
some friends at ‘The Iron Maiden’ after work, and I don’t know what time
I’ll be back. As much as I want you to be in my bed when I get home, I don’t
want you to wait up for me.”
“Oh.”
I chuckle. “You know, Cass, your jealous side is kind of turning me on right
now.”
“I’m not jealous,” she replies, slapping my chest lightly.
“Yes.” Kiss. “You.” Kiss. “Are.”
The elevator intercom buzzes, and we both freeze.
“Mr. Knight,” the voice says. “Is everything okay?”
I turn slightly, making sure my body shields Cassey, and glare at the security
camera as if it’s a person. “Yes, Burton. Everything is fine.”
“Sorry sir, but we need to get the elevator moving again.”
I scowl at the camera, and reluctantly press the emergency button again to
get the elevator moving again. Cassey giggles, and nibbles her lip.
“Give me that lip,” I tell her. I suck it into my mouth just as the elevator
doors open.
“Have a great day, Mr. Knight,” Cassey purrs. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The thought of waiting that long to see her again doesn’t excite me. It’s going
to be a long twenty four hours.