Destiny (30 page)

I
smiled and got into my car. Then I called the general manager there in Green
Bay. He seemed surprised to hear that I was still representing Marcus, but he
was thrilled with the deal I was offering. Marcus was a threat as a runner and
a receiver, and he could play special teams. They knew that they had a stud in
him. I truly did think that we could get the fifty million out of them, but
this was how he wanted it, and for the first time, I thought I understood why. Life
isn’t all about winning. I could have held out and won that negotiation, but he
wanted it done. Marcus wanted the security to know that he was going to be in
Green Bay for a long time. I wanted that, too. I would have loved to be in
Green Bay permanently. As I was driving, I fantasized about what it would be
like to buy the land overlooking the lake that Olivia had always pointed out. I
could build her dream house there and grow old with her. It was just a fantasy,
though. Odds were that even mentioning it would push her away from me. I might
even lose her as a friend permanently. Then again, what if she still fantasized
about things like that? Wasn’t it worth the risk? Couldn’t I tell her how I
felt? What was stopping me? There was no such thing as a risk that was too big
if it gave me a chance at getting the girl of my dreams. I had decided what I
was going to do. I would tell Olivia that I loved her, and if that didn’t work,
I would
show
her how much I loved
her. She was married, and I knew that it was wrong, but I didn’t care anymore.
I had already done so much wrong in my life and taken the punishment for all of
it. This was the only thing that no punishment would be too much for. I could
live with this guilt. I picked up the phone and called her.

“Hey,
are you almost here?” Olivia asked.

“Yeah,
I’ll be there in just a few minutes. I’m sorry about being late, but it’s only
ten. That will leave us with plenty of time to talk.”

“Are
you sure this is a good idea, Eric?”

“Why
wouldn’t it be?”

“I
know I’m the one who invited you, but I don’t know how Richard would feel about
us being here alone. Maybe we should meet somewhere.”

“It’s
just me, Olivia. You know I would never do anything you didn’t want me to.
Besides, what Richard doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“I
guess you’re right. Come on over. I’ll see you soon,” she said, and we got off
the phone.

I
smiled as I hung the phone up. My luck was changing. I could just feel it. I
had kept Marcus as a client, and soon I was going to be telling the woman who
had always been my home that I wanted to spend my life with her. The next few
hours would be interesting, and more importantly, they would change everything
about the rest of my life in
one way
or another.

Chapter 30

The
Pursuit of Happiness

After
I got to Olivia’s house, I immediately told her everything about the last forty-eight
hours. I saw something in her eyes that I wasn’t used to. She pitied me. Olivia
had always looked at me in a certain way that made me feel better than I
actually was, but the pity I saw was enough to make me question just how bad my
situation was. Could I recover from everything?

“I’m
sorry that things have gone so badly for you. Is there anything I can do?” she
asked.

This
was my chance. There
was
one thing she
could do. I loved her, and I knew in my heart that she still loved me. She
could make a life with me. It would be asking a lot, but wasn’t it worth a
shot?

“Are
you okay? You’re being awfully quiet,” she said.

“I’ve
actually never been better. An event like this puts life into perspective. I
did a lot of bad things to get to where I’m at, and God knows I made some
mistakes with us back when we were younger, but I know what’s important now.
None of the money I’ve made has resulted in happiness, and if I’m being honest,
Chastity never made me feel the way you did. I guess what I’m saying is that
I’m going to start doing things the right way, and I’m going after my
happiness.
That all starts with you.
I love you,
Olivia. I never stopped loving you for one second.”

“I
don’t know what to say, Eric.”

“Just
tell me how you feel. I need honesty.”

“I
can’t do that. I’m married, and I know your life seems messed up at the moment,
but I’m sure Chastity is going to call any day now. No woman in her right mind
would walk away from a guy like you. I know.”

“You
walked away.”

“In
a moment of insanity.”

“So
you
do
have feelings for me?”

“Of
course I do. What we shared doesn’t go away. It fades somewhat, but every time
I see your face, it all comes flowing back. I’m fourteen every time I see you,
Eric. I love that, but it’s not right for either of us. I think you know that
deep down.”

“I
used to, but I see things clearly now. There are things that are meant to be in
this world, and we can’t stop fighting for them. I know your situation is
complicated, but I’m all right with that.”

“Are
you really? Think about it for a second. If I did tell you I loved you right
now, what would happen?”

“We
would make a life together starting today.”

“So
it’s that simple? What would you do when Richard came knocking at your door,
and how would I explain to my son why I was leaving the only man he’s ever
called dad? For that matter, could you be the man in Phillip’s life? Are you
really willing to take responsibility for a child and our actions?”

“I
should have had a child with you a long time ago. I think back to that all the
time. I wish I could take back what I said so we could have a family together.
I would welcome any child who was a part of you. I would be the best stepdad,
or even just plain dad, that’s possible. As for Richard, I can take whatever he
wants to do, if it means I get to be with you.”

“You’re
putting me in a difficult situation.”

“I
know that, but this needs to be said. I’m already twenty-five, and I’m not
getting any younger. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize that I should
have pleaded with the love of my life to be with me when I was younger. I’m
never going to be satisfied unless you’re by my side, and I know deep down that
you won’t be either. Just let me show you that all those same feelings are
there,” I said and wrapped my arms around her.

I
moved my lips toward Olivia’s, but she pulled back. I neither pulled back nor
advanced in that moment. I simply looked into her eyes. As we gazed at each
other, I saw so many things in her. She was scared and confused, but also excited
about what we could be doing there. I knew that no matter how much she acted
like she didn’t want this to happen, she had been craving this moment just as
much as me.

“Give
me a chance to show you that what we have is still worth pursuing. You can say
when, and I’ll stop immediately. Okay?” I asked.

She
nodded, and I kissed her. I had almost forgotten her soft embrace. I slowly
turned our soft kiss into a deeper one. As I did, I lifted her up, and she
wrapped her legs around me. I carried her to the bedroom, and we crashed down
to the bed. She pulled my shirt off, and then we paused for a second. She
simply stared into my eyes. This was what we had been missing. Wrong or not, this
just felt right on every level. I went back in for a gentle kiss and slipped my
arms around her as I did. We slowly removed each other’s clothes, and then I
made my way down to her neck. She had always loved the way I kissed her neck,
and I couldn’t help but notice the way her whole body quivered when I kissed her
in just the right place. As I slid down her body, I made sure to kiss every
inch of it until I got to her legs. She suddenly let out a breath of frustration
and pulled me back up to her. As we met face to face, she said the word I least
wanted to hear.

“When.”

“How
is that possible?” I asked in disbelief.

“Because
as much as I love everything you’re doing right now, it’s wrong. This is my
fault. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let things go this far.”

“I
don’t believe that you think this is wrong. I think you know with every part of
your being that this is how things were supposed to be. I can feel it every
time we touch. You want this. Why not let it happen and see where it can take
us?”

“I
do
know that, but it’s complicated for
me.”

“What
happened to that girl I used to know? She wouldn’t have thrown away one moment
of passion just because someone she didn’t even love would be disappointed. She
wasn’t serious about much either. She just enjoyed life and loved the only boy
who would do anything for her. I miss
that
Olivia.”

“I
grew up, Eric. I have a kid now, and . . .”

“You
don’t this morning. Right now, you’re the same Olivia I’ve always known, and
we’re not going to overthink this or put labels on it until it’s over. We’re
just going to do exactly what comes naturally. This is what’s meant to be. Now,
what is it that you really want to do?”

For
a brief moment, I saw her smile and caught a glimpse of that girl I used to
know. She was still in there. She kissed me, and we picked up where we left
off. It was passion filled and romantic. Most of all, it was complete ecstasy.
It was just like the first time. As I got to know every inch of Olivia once again,
I knew in my heart that everything about what we were doing was right.

After
all passion had faded, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the back of her
neck. That’s when she asked the question that was most on my mind.

“What
does all this mean?”

“Whatever
you want it to,” I answered.

“I’m
not the only one here. What do you want?”

“You.
I don’t care how. I just want
us
again.
Can we make that happen?”

“Tell
me how you envision our lives.”

“What
do you mean?”

“Tell
me what will happen if I leave my husband. How will the rest of my life go?”

“You’ll
leave him, and he’ll hate me. Richard will probably even hate you for a while.
He’ll stay involved in his son’s life, though. After everything is settled in
that area, we’ll get a place here in town. It’ll probably be an apartment for
now, but that’s not where we’ll be staying permanently. There was a place on
the lake that you always wanted. I’ll find a way to buy that land and pay
someone to build the exact house you always dreamed of. While that’s being
done, I’ll take you out on dates again, bring you flowers and gifts for no
apparent reason, and make love to you every single night. I’ll also endear myself
to Phillip. I’ll make him understand that I know I can never be his dad but
that I’m someone who can make his mom happy. It won’t happen all at once, but
I’ll find a way to be his friend and a third parent. I’m hoping that by the
time the house is built we’ll be friends.

After
that, we’ll move in. Our friends and some of our family members will have some
nasty things to say about us, considering I will have broken up a marriage, but
I’ll make our relationship into an honest one just a few weeks after we move
into our dream home. I’ll ask you to marry me in the grandest way. I’m not
going to tell you how because I don’t want to spoil it. After that, we’ll live
our lives together as happily as we used to. Instead of being that person you
described earlier who couldn’t act like the girl I used to know, you’ll realize
that a life was always possible where laughter, love, and passion were a given.
I’ll have my best friend beside me all the time, and I’ll never want for
anything again. We’ll go ice-skating in the winters behind the house and raise
Phillip together. Eventually, we’ll get a surprise. You’ll find out that you’re
pregnant, but this time when you tell me, I’ll be ready. I’ll want that kid
like I’ve never wanted anything besides her mother,” I said.

“Her?”

“Yeah,
I think so. Then we’ll raise our daughter. She’ll have your blue eyes and sense
of humor. We’ll raise her the way we both wished we had been. Money or accomplishments
won’t be my number one priority like it was for my parents, and she won’t grow
up seeing her mom and dad fight like you had to.

As
time goes by, the kids will leave the house, and we’ll realize that we’re
getting old. We’ll temporarily panic. Without the kids we love, we’ll lash out
at each other. It’ll be so hard to let go of them that we’ll have to lash out
at someone just to deal with it. Slowly but surely, I’ll remember what really
matters, though. I’ll remember that this all started with you. I’ll take you
out on dates again like when we were sixteen and spend all the energy I used
with the kids on you. In time, you’ll be able to let go, too. We’ll see that
it’s a good thing that they grew up into such good and independent people. We
will have done a good job, and it’ll be our time for each other. We’ll grow
closer every single day. When I’m seventy and we’re both so wrinkled that we
barely look like ourselves, I’ll realize something. In that moment, I’ll find
you more attractive than I ever have. I’ll love you more, even though I didn’t
think that was possible back when I was telling you this story. We’ll get sick,
and we’ll forget who we are some of the time after that, but we won’t forget
what we feel for each other.
That
will always be the constant in our lives.

I
don’t know when it will happen, but one day, I’ll be lying on a hospital bed
with you holding my hand. I’ll be dying. As I’m leaving the world, I’ll still
be trying to cling to any sign of life, though, because I’ll know in my heart
that no matter how great Heaven might be, it can’t compare to my worst day with
the woman who meant everything to me. I won’t be able to stay, though. All I’ll
be able to do is smile at the thought of every memory I made with you. I’ll
know I was the luckiest man to live on this earth because I got to make a life
with someone who truly was my soul mate when most people never even get to find
someone half as beautiful and completely captivating as you.”

“I’ll
give you this. You can still tell a good story.”

“It’s
not just a story. It’s our life, if we want it to be. I know I do. The only
question now is what you want.”

“You
know exactly what I want. It’s always been you, Eric. It isn’t that simple,
though. There are things you don’t know. I’ve got to tell you something, and
you’re probably going to hate me for it . . .” Olivia managed to say before we
heard the front door open.

She
looked at me with fear in her eyes. Even if we were going to be together, this
wasn’t how either of us wanted to do it. Having Richard walk in was just about
the worst way to do this.

“Hide
in the bathroom,” she whispered and grabbed her clothes.

I
nodded and grabbed my things. I ran into the bathroom and put my clothes on. Then
I jumped into the shower. I closed the curtain and sat down just in case
Richard came in. Sure enough, he did. As he rinsed his face off, I took a quick
peek out from behind the curtain. He looked dirty and worn down from his job at
the factory. In that moment, I felt guilty. I didn’t like the guy, but I was
ruining his life. Everything he had been working for was about to be gone. It
almost seemed too cruel. Then again, the life I envisioned with Olivia was
worth hurting anyone I had to. A part of me wanted to get it over with right
there. I could step out of the shower and reveal myself. I could tell him
everything, and Olivia and I could start our lives right then. I knew that
would be selfish, though. He deserved to find out in an easier way, and it was
really Olivia’s choice to decide on how to tell him. I decided to simply hide
in that shower, and I had to hide for a while. After nearly an hour, Olivia
came and got me.

“That
was too close. You’ve got to go,” she said.

“What
are you talking about? I can’t leave now. Why was he even here, and you said
that you wanted to tell me something. What was it?”