Destiny (33 page)

“You
know exactly what I’m doing. You took her from me in high school, and then you
even slept with her after we were married. That’s not even the worst part. She
told me . . . she told me . . . he’s not even my son. Haven’t you taken enough
from me? I wanted a career in sports, and you became an agent. Then I worked to
become a man who was worthy of Olivia’s affection, and you came out of nowhere
and took that from me, too. You don’t get to have
my
son, though. He might not be mine biologically, but make no
mistake about it. He’s my son, and you can’t have him,” he said and punched me
in the gut.

As
I fell to the floor, I heard someone say call the police. This was a matter
that needed to be settled between Richard and me, though.

“No,
we can settle this just fine. No one calls the police,” I said and rose back
up.

Richard hit me in the face, knocking me
back down to the floor. I stayed down that time.

“Get
up and fight,” Richard said.

“I’m
not going to fight you.”

“Why?
You didn’t seem to have a problem doing it in high school.”

“I
was wrong then, and I’m wrong now. I can’t make up for what I’ve done to you. I
love Olivia. I always have, and it will never change. I know that now. That
doesn’t excuse what I did to you, though, so hit me as much as you need to. I
won’t fight back. I deserve this, and you’re right. You deserved better. I
shouldn’t be the one who was successful. I cheated to get to where I was when
you were the one who worked for it. A freak injury derailed you, and I’m sorry
for that. Even more, I’m sorry that I ever left Green Bay for college. If I
hadn’t, Olivia never would have come back to you, and we wouldn’t be having
this conversation. I left, and you were there for her. I have no right to her
when you’ve been the man she needed, but even so, I can’t stay away, not now
that I know about my son. I just learned that yesterday. I haven’t figured out
what to do about it yet, but I know I can’t leave without at least talking to
Olivia.”

“You
stay away from my wife! You’ve done enough already.”

“I’m
sorry. I’m not going to do that. I love her. Do you think . . .” I managed to
say before he kicked me in the midsection. Then he kicked me in the groin area.
From there, I lost my words.

“I’ve
been waiting a decade to do that. You’ve been warned, Eric. Stay for your
uncle’s funeral, but then get out of here. If I ever see you again, I’ll kill
you. That’s a promise,” he said and walked out.

I
picked myself up off the floor and paid my tab. I got some strange looks as I
left the pub. We had just aired our dirty laundry out for everyone to see. I
figured the looks I was getting were natural. I knew what I had to do that
night. It was time to talk to Olivia. As I drove toward her house, I started to
feel dizzy. I was extremely drunk, and there was no way I needed to be driving.
Just as I was about to pass the lake, I looked up on the hillside. I imagined
the house that Olivia had described earlier in her life. I was going to build
it for her. I just knew it. We would be happy there. The only problem was that
while I was having a fantasy, my car was veering off the road. Just as I
regained concentration, I saw that my car was running into the lake. I tried
to, but there was no stopping it. I heard the crack of ice and felt cold water
flowing into the car. I quickly opened the door as it began to sink and climbed
out. The water was freezing, and I was having a hard time trying to pull myself
out of it and onto the ice. For a brief moment, I thought I was going to die,
but then I thought of everything I would be losing if I did give up there. I
would never get to meet my son or live life with the woman I truly loved. It
had been the worst two days of my life, but it wasn’t time to give up just yet.
I pulled myself out of the lake and got to my feet. I was literally freezing to
death, and with every step toward the road, my body ached even more. I knew I
was roughly a mile from Olivia’s house, and I wasn’t going to be okay for much
longer, so I jogged as quickly as I could toward it. I felt like I was going to
pass out so many times on the way, but somehow I kept going. It was as if every
part of me knew that I had to talk to her one last time. It didn’t matter if
pneumonia set in after I arrived and I died in some hospital room later on. I
had to tell her how I felt at all cost.

When
I arrived at the front of her house, I noticed that the living room light was
still on. She was up. I took another step toward the door but stopped. I was
literally freezing to death, but the fear of walking into that house and
finding out if she loved me or not seemed worse than anything else. I didn’t
know what to say, and as I stood there, I thought of everything that had led me
to that moment. Some things had been sad, and others had been downright
hilarious. The best and worst times of my life always started with me at Olivia’s
door. This would just be one more. That was what I had determined.

As I walk toward what could be my
destiny, I leave you here. My story is over, but it’s really just beginning.
One more talk with Olivia to determine our whole future. That’s all that’s
left.

Chapter 33

A New
Perspective

40
Years Later

It’s
been a long time since that night when Eric showed up at my door. My name is
Olivia. Yes,
the
Olivia. You might be
wondering why I’m standing out on this hillside in freezing weather. Then
again, if you’ve heard the beginning of the story, then I’m sure you know
exactly what this place means to me. I used to come here to talk to my father.
Lately I just come here to remember. As age creeps up on me, I find it harder
and harder to keep the simple things from slipping away, but there are some
things you can never forget. Seeing this place reminds me of where it all
started. I’m also waiting on someone.

A
lot changed after that night when he dragged himself up to my door. He had
almost died. I don’t know how he didn’t. Let me tell you the rest of the story,
so maybe you can understand who Eric Wilson really was as a young man and why I
loved him so much to compromise everything for a fraction of a chance to be
with him one day.

* * * * *

Eric
found a way to get up to the door and knock. I was a little caught off guard by
someone knocking that late, and honestly, I figured it was Richard. That was
the last thing I wanted right then. When I opened the door, I saw the one
person I had needed to talk to, though. It was time to get everything out in
the open with Eric.

“Olivia,
I need to talk to you about something. We’ve been really . . . we’ve been,” he
managed to say before he fell forward.

I
caught him and drug him over to the couch. I didn’t know what was going on. He
was freezing and soaking wet. Then there was the bruise on his face. I had to
believe that Richard had something to do with this. It looked like Eric was
dying.

“I’m
going to call an ambulance. Just hold on,” I said.

“No,
don’t do that. I just need to talk to you. Promise me it’ll just be us. I’m
going to be all right,” he said.

“Fine,
but come with me,” I said and got on one side of him.

Eric
braced himself on me, and I helped him into the bedroom. Just as we got into
the room, he passed out. I managed to lay him in the bed. Then I sighed. I
didn’t know what to do, but I knew I couldn’t let him die there. It was going
to be a long night and an even longer morning. I couldn’t let Phillip see some
strange man in the house before he went off to school. I started doing what was
necessary. I stripped his clothes off and used my body heat to keep him warm.
For then, that’s all I could do.

* * * * *

The
following morning, I took Phillip to school without him ever knowing that a man
was in the house. When I got back, I discovered that Eric was awake in the
bedroom. He looked confused.

“Are
you all right?” I asked.

“I
think so. Why am I naked? Did we . . .”

“No,
don’t flatter yourself. You were freezing when you got here. I stripped your
clothes off and got you warm. I didn’t know if you were going to make it for a
while there, and I almost called for an ambulance more than a few times, but
you’re still here. Do you want to tell me what happened to you?”

“Yeah,
it’s all really complicated, though. I got the news that my uncle died, and
then I got on a plane to come here. When I arrived, my aunt gave me a note from
him. He told me everything, Olivia. I know that Phillip is my son. I didn’t
know what to do when I found out. I’m supposed to get married in a few days,
and while I was trying to make a decision on what to say to you and what my
intentions would be, my aunt asked me to do the eulogy at Uncle Gary’s funeral.
I agreed to do it, but I had no words that would do him justice. Between everything
that was going on and the grief that I already had, I think I lost it for a
minute. I went down to a pub and got plastered. Richard was there. He messed me
up pretty badly. I didn’t fight back, though, because I knew he was right. I
shouldn’t have done what I did to him. I deserved for him to hit me. The thing
is that while I was lying on the floor, I realized something. Even if I did the
wrong things with you, I don’t regret any of it. The only thing I regret is
going to Miami and leaving you here. I got into my car and drove straight here.
I had to let you know that I loved you. On the drive over, I got a little
distracted by the sight of the place where you dreamed your life would be. I
ran into the lake, and I almost drowned. I pulled myself out of the water,
though, and willed myself here. I couldn’t die before I told you how I felt.”

“And
how is that?”

“Here
it is completely uncensored. We’ve been really shitty people, Olivia.”

“Okay,
not the best start.”

“We
really have, especially me. It’s not too late, though. I reacted poorly to
hearing that you were pregnant when we were teenagers, and that’s when
everything went downhill. I started compromising my own morals and became
someone totally different. At the same time, it caused you not to have faith in
me when you got pregnant again. You saw Richard as someone who could be a good
father when I couldn’t, so you made that decision for me. You didn’t tell me,
and that was bad on you. I deserved to know. I would have loved both of you.
You know that now, right?”

“Yeah,
I do.”

“Good.
A lot of other messed up things happened after that. I caused you to cheat
while you were married, and because of you, I’m about to break up with my fiancée,
devastating her in the process. We haven’t been good people. There’s no doubt
about that, but it’s not too late to be the people we were meant to be. I still
remember how innocent we used to be. We were just two fourteen year olds who
didn’t know anything about life. All we knew was that we enjoyed each other’s
company. I want to get back to that. For as many bad things as loving you has
driven me to do, I know in my heart that it’s right, and it can lead to so much
good. I love you, and somehow we found the worst paths for the last few years.
I want you to make a life with me where we find our way back to the path we
were on in high school. I want to love you every day of my life, and I want
that love to be simple. I don’t want any more Richards or
Chastitys
.
I just want you with me until we’ve been together so long that neither of us can
remember a time when it was any different. I want to raise my son and live with
you until we get so old that we lose our minds. The only constant in my life
has always been you, and I know that’s never going to change. I’m asking you to
be a positive constant in my life right now and to give me a chance to show you
that I’m still the same boy you met so long ago.”

“We’ve
changed a lot, Eric.”

“I
know, but you can’t tell me you don’t feel like that same fourteen year old.
You know you wish you could be that person again. I’m telling you in time, we
can be that together. Can you give me that chance?”

“I’m
sorry, but no. You’re right. I was a terrible person. I shouldn’t have kept
Phillip from you, and I certainly shouldn’t have let Richard believe that he
had a son, but Phillip is the most important person in all of this. He thinks
of Richard as his dad, and I can’t break my little boy’s heart by telling him
that it was all a lie. I do love you, but I messed this up beyond repair. I
want to be better, and I will be for my little boy. That’s part of why I told
Richard. Lies chip away at you until you’re just a shell of yourself. I think I
used to be a pretty decent person, and Phillip deserves that me. I couldn’t be
her again until I told the truth. Your uncle had said as much before he died.
When I heard about what happened to him, I knew it was time. I told him
everything, and he stormed out. I’m going to divorce Richard because I don’t
love him, but I’m not going to take away Phillip’s dad. He’s still going to be
his father, and bringing you into the picture just complicates all of that. I
love you, and I want nothing more than to live my entire life with you, but
that’s selfish. I can’t be selfish anymore.”

“You’re
wrong. You can have it all. Just because I’m involved in yours and Phillip’s
lives doesn’t mean that Richard can’t still be in our son’s life.”

“You
know it won’t go that way. I need you to leave, Eric. This is hard enough on
me. I’m getting a divorce, a good friend has just died, and now
I’m having
to tell the love of my life goodbye. I have to,
though. It’s the right thing to do.”

“Your
decision doesn’t change anything, Olivia. I’m going to buy that land you always
talked about, and then I’m going to build the dream house you described. After
that, I’m going to stay here and pursue you with everything I have. I used to
believe in destiny. I thought you were my purpose, but now I’m not so sure. I
don’t even know if I believe in us having a set purpose at all. I do know one
thing, though. I’m choosing a purpose, and it’s you. I don’t care what you say
now. I know in my heart that the stars are going to align for us in the end.
I’ll make it so. I’m going to marry you one day, and we’ll have everything we
ever wanted.”

“I
truly hope you’re right, but I doubt it. Go, and write down what you’re going
to say at your uncle’s funeral. That’s all you need to be concentrating on
right now. Anything else can wait until after the funeral,” I said.

Eric
agreed to go, but he didn’t look discouraged. That was a good thing to me. I
honestly didn’t want him to give up on us. Even if I thought it was too complicated,
I wanted to know that there was at least still a chance of things working. The
next few weeks would make things no easier. Richard came back that night, and
we had it out right in front of my son. The one thing I never wanted to do was
expose Phillip to the type of things I saw growing up, but on that night,
that’s exactly what I did.

We
had the visitation for Gary the next day. More people showed up than I thought
he ever knew. He was a well-liked man, and I didn’t know how Eric was going to do
the eulogy the next day. I didn’t talk to him, but I could tell that Eric was
in shambles. Gary was like his father. I remembered when I lost my dad. The one
person who pulled me out of the deep depression that had its hold on me was
him
. He was there when no one else was. I knew that even if
things weren’t going to work out between us that I owed him this. When the
visitation was over, I asked my mom to keep Phillip for a while and walked over
to Eric in the parking lot.

“Hey,
can we go somewhere for a little while?” I asked.

“Of
course. Where did you have in mind?”

“There’s
a spot I’m sure you remember that I used to go to when I wanted to talk to my
dad. Can you meet me there?”

“Yeah,
I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

I
drove out to the old spot, and within a few minutes, Eric arrived. I got into
the car with him, and no sooner than I did, he burst into tears. He had held it
all in until then. Maybe he didn’t feel like he could express that kind of
grief with his family, or maybe he knew that he was safe with me, but either
way, he was getting the relief he needed right there.

“Hey,
it’s going to be all right. I know it seems like everything is horrible right
now, and it is, but it gets better. I know. When I lost my dad, you got me
through it, so I’m here for you. I’ll do anything. What do you need me to do?”
I asked.

“Just
talk to me. It’s been a rough day. I still don’t know what to say about my
uncle, I broke it off with Chastity today, and to top it all off, I just
realized that I’m never going to be able to talk to him again. I mean, I knew
that, but it never really clicked until now. How do I do this, Olivia?”

“You
take it one step at a time. First, you should call Chastity back and tell her
you made a mistake. She’ll write this off as you grieving. Trust me.”

“I
don’t want that. I’m not marrying her. I just hate that I had to hurt her.
She’s a good person, and she deserved better. It can’t be helped, though.”

“I
think it still can, but that’s got to be your choice. As for your uncle’s eulogy,
just speak from the heart. You knew him better than anyone but Kristen. Tell everyone
about his life and what he meant to you. There aren’t any set rules on how to
do this sort of thing. You can say goodbye to Gary right here, too.”

“What
do you mean?”

“I
used to come out here to talk to my dad. The truth is I still do sometimes. I
don’t know if he hears me, but it helps. Tell your uncle goodbye right now. Say
everything you would’ve said if you were here when he passed, and it’ll stay
between him and us. I might even share this place with you, if you need to talk
with him from time to time.”

On
some level, I knew it wasn’t healthy to talk to air and expect someone to hear
you, but I had been doing it for years. Even if it shouldn’t have, it helped. A
part of me actually believed that my dad could hear me when I spoke to him, and
Eric needed to believe that then.

“I
don’t know how to do it. What do I say? How do I say goodbye?” Eric asked.

“Just
close your eyes and say whatever comes naturally. I promise you’ll feel better
if you do.”

“Uncle
Gary, thank you for always looking out for me. I didn’t know you were carrying
such a big secret about Olivia and me until recently. I’m sorry I messed things
up so badly in that area. I’m glad you got to tell me in the end. I needed to
know. I promise that I’m going to make everything right in that situation, and
I’ll find happiness just like you asked me to.
Enough about
me, though.
This is what I really want to say. You’re the one who taught
me how to be a man. You taught me that it’s not always about doing the right
things. It’s about being able to look at yourself in the mirror every day and
know that you could answer to anyone about your actions and not regret them. I
haven’t done a good job of that lately, but I’m learning. I’m getting better. I
don’t think I was as much of a man as I thought until recently. I think I’ve
been a little boy playing a man for the last few years, but I’ve finally grown
up now, and it’s thanks to your patience and guidance. Everything I am, good or
bad, is because of you. Thank you. I want you to know that I’m going to take
care of Aunt Kristen. She misses you. We all do, but I’m going to make sure we
get through this. As a matter of fact, I’ll make sure we’re happy again some
day. That sounds impossible without you, but I know you would want us to find
happiness again. I love you, and I know I’ll see you again some day. Until then,
just know that I’ll be missing you. You were like a father to me. No, you were
my father. There’s no doubt about that,” Eric said and exhaled.