Authors: Mitchel Grace
“Are
you all right?” I asked.
“I’m
fine. You’re right. It did help. Can I ask you something about us?”
“Sure.
Go ahead.”
“Are
we ever going to be happy together?”
“I
don’t know, but that’s not what you need to concentrate on right now.
Mourn
, and we can deal with everything else another day,” I
said and got out of the car.
We
would have to deal with things later, but for then, all he needed to think
about was his uncle. The next day, what he said about Gary was beautiful. He
had nothing written. It was all done from memory. He told us about the man Gary
was, and in doing so, described the type of person we should all be. Gary had
taken in a kid he barely knew and made him into a man. Not many people would
have done that. He was the type of man who loved without expecting and forgave
before it was even asked for. Gary Wilson was a dying breed. What Eric didn’t
know was I saw a lot of his uncle in him. Sure, he had made some mistakes, but
he was there taking responsibility for them. That was the first step in
anything. I wasn’t exactly innocent either. I had ruined Richard’s life and
taken away Eric’s chance at knowing his son. I had a lot of growing to do.
Over
the next few months, I got a divorce from Richard. His visits to Phillip came
less and less often until he didn’t come at all. I don’t think he could stand
to look at Phillip or me. His heart was broken, and I couldn’t blame him. Eric,
on the other hand, seemed to visit more and more. He got to know his little
boy. Phillip just thought that Eric was an old friend of mine. He had no idea
that the man who wanted to know him so much was his real father. During those months,
Eric must have tried to get back together with me dozens of times. I didn’t
give in, though. It was Phillip and
me
from there on
out. That’s how I saw it, and it’s what I thought was right.
True to his promise, Eric bought the land
that overlooked the lake. He started building a house there. You have to
realize that Eric had never built anything in his life, so it took a lot of
trial and error for him to get anything done. He hired out some people to do
the more complicated jobs, but he was able to do the majority of it himself. After
nine long months, he had surprisingly built my dream home, or at least it
looked that way from the outside. I was still standing strong, though. There
was no way I was going to confuse my child by moving in with a man he barely
knew. That’s what I thought . . .
My
Dream Life
Months
had passed, and Eric’s house had been finished for quite some time. Every time
we crossed paths now, I could see hopelessness in his eyes. He was finally
getting it. We were
not
getting back
together. Eric never was one to get easily discouraged, though, and he still
had one last ditch effort in store for me.
My mother had been asking me to let her spend
some time with Phillip. It had been weeks since he stayed over at her house, so
I took him over there. It was during the Christmas season, so he was on break.
I guess I figured I deserved a break, too. I loved my little boy, but I needed
some time to decompress. It seemed like all I did was work and take care of
him. I didn’t mind, but I was starting to feel like the oldest twenty-six year
old in the world. I never went out, and the best night in recent memory
involved popcorn and a Disney movie with my little man. That was a good enough
night, but I was craving something more. I didn’t know what, though. It wasn’t
like I had friends anymore. Most people were put off when they heard what I did
with Eric. People who used to call me their friend looked at me like I was
somehow dirty or damaged. I probably deserved it. I had nearly ruined Richard’s
life, and I didn’t even know if he was okay. He had moved a few weeks before.
He said he just had to get away and that he couldn’t stand to see Phillip or
me. Right about then, I was feeling beyond hopeless. As I sat there in my empty
house, I got a call from an expected person. It was Eric. I didn’t want to
answer. About once every two weeks, he would ask me out. He would always do it
under the pretense that we were just friends, but I knew we could never be
something so insignificant. We could be everything to each other or nothing at
all.
I grabbed
the phone and answered. It wasn’t like I had much choice. He knew where I
lived, and he came to visit Phillip quite often. He would probably just come
over if I didn’t answer.
“Hey,
what’s going on?” I asked.
“I
was just wondering if I could see Phillip tonight.”
“He’s
with his grandmother.”
“Oh,
that’s even better. There’s something I’ve been meaning to show you. Can you
come see it?”
“I
don’t know if . . .”
“Please,
Olivia. It would mean a lot. I’m not exactly the most popular guy around here
now. When people heard about what we did, I lost a lot of friends. I still have
Mike and my aunt, but I think most other people are making a pretty big effort
to avoid me. I could use a friend right now.”
“I
know what you mean. You would think no one around here had ever made a
mistake.”
“So
you’ll meet me at my house?”
“Yeah.
I’ll be over in just a few minutes.”
“Before
you go, I want to set the record straight. I don’t think we made any mistakes.
We just had bad timing about it all. I don’t regret how things happened,
though. It’s led me here.”
I
didn’t know what to say to that. It was nice to know he didn’t regret the
nights we spent together, but telling him that I really didn’t either would
only make things worse. I settled for a simple goodbye and got off the phone. Then
I walked into the bedroom and started trying to pick out what I was going to
wear. My thoughts were strange that evening. The outfit had to be perfect. I
found myself caring about how he would perceive me. I needed to look attractive
but not desperate. Suddenly, I caught myself. This wasn’t a date. Why was I
acting like it was? I was behaving just like I did when I was in high school.
This was like our first date all over again. I smiled at that thought. So many
memories came back all at once. Didn’t I deserve someone I loved? For that
matter, shouldn’t I be with the only man I had
ever
loved? Who cared what other people thought? This was my life,
and I could find a way to make Phillip understand, couldn’t I? It wasn’t like
Richard was around anymore. Could Eric be the man I needed him to be? That last
thought made me feel bad. Why was I only looking at Eric in terms of what he
could be for my son and me? This was the man I still loved, even if I didn’t
want to admit it, and I knew he could be what we needed. The real thing I was
scared of was if I could be what
he
needed.
Eric still saw me as that same girl from high school, but I was different now.
What if he realized one day that everything he pictured in his head was a lie?
What if I wasn’t enough?
I
looked up at the clock and realized that I had been standing by my closet for
almost ten minutes. It was time to make a decision and just go with it. I grabbed
the first outfit that looked halfway decent and fixed my hair. Then I walked
out. When I got to Eric’s place, I was impressed to see everything he had done
to it. I had seen it from the road, but it was so much more impressive up
close. The yard was fenced, and there was a swing in the backyard. There was
even a path leading down to the lake. That was just the land. The house itself
looked like it had been done in the most expensive way possible. It was a new
home that was obviously molded to have a classic feel. With its wraparound
porches on both floors and the stunning woodwork on the outside, it was the
perfect white house I had pictured in my dreams.
I
had to marvel at it for a minute before walking inside. When I got up to the
porch, Eric opened the door and invited me in.
“Hurry
up. There’s a blizzard outside,” he joked, reminding me of the first time we
met.
Once
we were inside, I took a look around. The foyer was modeled exactly as I told
him I wanted it.
“Let
me show you the rest of the place,” he said while taking notice of how
impressed I was.
He
led me all throughout the house. The kitchen was similar to what I had
described to him. It had a more modern feel to it, though, which I could
appreciate now. There was a basement downstairs where he had a rec room. A pool
table,
a small bar, and some old games
sat down there.
A big screen television covered the back wall. It was the perfect place for the
adults to relax. Once we were back upstairs, he showed me the bedrooms. There
were four in total, and they were all very large. There was a room that I knew
Phillip would love. It had so much more space for his things. Eric had even
built shelves into the walls to make it the perfect room for a little boy with
a lot of toys. The two guest bedrooms could have easily been turned into
children’s rooms or a mother-in-law suite. All were equipped with large
closets. He had also built an office that served as a small library. He had
packed it with books of all kinds, but I recognized all of them. They were my
favorites. It was as if he remembered everything about who I was. He knew that
this house should have a place for me to escape into books for a while, and I
had always wanted a place with plenty of bedrooms because when I was a
teenager, I planned to have two or three children. He also knew that we would
need an adult room to escape the kids from time to time. That wasn’t the best
part, though. When he showed me his room, I truly fell in love with that house.
It was perfect. It was big enough for two people and graceful enough for me not
to ever want to change one thing about it. It had two walk-in closets and a connecting
bathroom with a clawfoot tub and the type of shower I had always wanted.
“This
is all really great. I can’t believe you built this place. How could you afford
this?” I asked.
“I
made a lot of money being an agent, and Marcus still gets me by with plenty
left over. I built it for us.”
“We’ve
been down that road before. I just don’t know if . . .”
“That’s
not what I mean. I promised you that I would give you your dream one day, so I
built this house for you. I did it for me, too, because no one would have ever
guessed I could do this. You have no idea how much of this stuff had to be done
twice because I screwed it up the first time. Let’s just say that I’m never
getting what I put into it back out of it,” he joked.
“I
sure didn’t know you had it in you. I should have known you could do this,
though. When you set your mind to something, there’s no stopping you. There’s
still one thing I don’t get. You said you built it for me. What does that even
mean?”
“It
means that as far as I’m concerned, this is your place, too. You belong here.
We both know that. This was your dream, and I just so happened to love it, so I
made it real when I got the chance. My dream is standing right in front of me.
All I’ve ever wanted was you.”
“This
is a lot to take in, Eric. I feel like you’re trying to buy my affection with a
house and sweet talk.”
“Is
it working?” Eric joked.
“Be
serious.”
“Okay,
I don’t think I have to buy anything from you because I know you already love
me. You just don’t think I’m right for your situation. This house and me
turning over a new leaf in my life wasn’t about getting your love. It was about
showing you that you’re wrong. I can give our son a great life, and I can be
the dad he needs. More than that, I think you know I can love you like you
deserve. For once in our lives, why don’t we just let ourselves slip into
whatever this is and never look back?”
“And
what is this?”
“You
tell me. I love you, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I
don’t care how complicated it is or what people say about us. I just want you,
and everything else is something that we can deal with together.”
“So
what if I said I feel the same way? Where would we start?”
“Right
here. Come with me,” he said and led me to the door where he had ice skates
sitting by it.
We
walked down to the frozen lake and made our way out onto the ice. It quickly
became apparent that Eric should have learned to ice skate before inviting me
out there because he could barely stay on his feet. I took his hand and helped
him, though. He might not have thought this all the way through, but he was
definitely getting points for effort. This was part of the fantasy I had so
long ago.
“Sorry
about this. I thought I could just wing ice-skating. Boy was I wrong,” Eric
said as he nearly tripped again.
“This
is a really amazing gesture. You’re right, though. You should have probably
learned how to at least stand up on your own before you got out on the ice,” I
managed to say before Eric tripped, bringing me down with him.
I
landed on top of him, and we both just lay there in pain for a moment. Then we
started laughing. This was a disaster, but it was the best kind. As I lay there
on top of him, he reached up and brushed the hair out of my eyes.
“Do
you know what first attracted me to you?” he asked.
“If
you say my breasts, I’m going to slap you,” I joked.
“There
was
that
, but seriously, this face,”
he said and touched my cheek.
“Those
beautiful eyes mixed with that long dark hair. Then your lips . . . they looked
so inviting, yet so unattainable for someone like me. I never stood a chance.
I’ve been yours since that day,” he said and kissed me.
As
we lay there on the ice kissing like we were teenagers, I realized something.
There was a reason I loved this man, and it had nothing to do with what he
could give my son or me. It was completely selfish. There was something that
Eric didn’t know. I saw him before he even noticed me. When he looked at me on
the day we met, I didn’t dare look away from him for a reason. I felt something
in that moment. I was truly alive. For the first time, I felt true chemistry
with a person like I’ve never felt since. I knew then. He was the boy I wanted
to end up with. I had played things cool when we met because he was a little
shy, and I didn’t want to show all my cards at the beginning, but I liked him a
lot more than he did me. That was still true even then as he embraced me. Eric
had always thought that I was somehow special - that a guy like him wasn’t good
enough for a girl like me. That wasn’t true, though. I was the one who should
have felt that way. I had made a lot of mistakes, and the first one was not
letting a man love me who clearly had captured every part of my heart. I wasn’t
making that mistake again.
“All
right, you’ve got my attention. What else did you have planned for tonight?” I
asked.
“I
was thinking I could make you dinner, and we could go from there.”
“While
that’s a good idea, I’ve had something else in mind that I’ve been dying to do
with you for a while now. If you can pick yourself up off this ice and get
inside, I might show you what it is,” I flirted and got off him.
I
had never seen anyone get off ice so fast. He almost busted his butt a couple
of times, but we walked back to the house together, and Eric carried me up to
the bedroom. For the first time in years, we had a night together that didn’t
feel wrong on any level. I was just with a man I loved and the father of my
son. It was perfect in every way. With every kiss and every touch, I felt
myself falling more and more for this man.
The
next morning, he went out to get donuts just like my dad used to. That whole
day was spent doing all of our favorite things, and when it was over, we got
our son from my mom’s. I never left Eric’s house again. It became my home, too,
on that night. I guess it always was my place, considering that he built it
with only me in mind. I told Phillip that Eric had this big house now, and he
didn’t want to stay in it alone, so he offered us the chance to live with him.
Only being six, he accepted it. I’m pretty sure Phillip knew that more was
going on, but he liked Eric, and Richard wasn’t around, so he welcomed any man
who showed him the kind of attention that Eric did. In time, we started to show
more affection for each other in front of our son. It was hard for him to
adjust, but he did eventually. We got married a little over a year after we
moved in together. Some people in the area immediately showed support for us.
It was as if they thought that getting married made us being together okay.
Before, I suppose we were just sinners in their eyes, but to this day, I don’t
think there was ever a wrong moment when Eric and I were together. There were a
few who would never forgive me, like Richard’s relatives. That was okay,
though. I had the man I loved and the perfect little boy in my life. I had
everything I needed. A year after the wedding, we told Phillip the truth about
Eric. He knew who his real dad was, and things were never the same afterward.
Eric stopped being thought of as a stepdad and became what I should have always
let him be. He had earned the right to be a father. He was the best one I could
ask for.