Authors: Mitchel Grace
“He
came home for lunch. Richard doesn’t normally do that, but he wanted to see me.
He was surprised to see your car out front and more than a little suspicious. I
told him that your uncle came over, which isn’t a rare occurrence. I’ve become
friends with him. I said he brought your old car and it wouldn’t crank, so he
got Kristen to come get him. Richard thinks that Gary’s just getting a part and
coming back to fix it. I don’t think he believed me at first, but he did a
little walkthrough of the house, including the bathroom you were hiding in. I
was scared to death when he came in here. When he didn’t find any sign of you,
he took what I was saying as truth. He can’t ever know you were in town,
though. Avoid him at all cost while you’re here. As for the other thing, I
shouldn’t have said that. You just need to go.”
“Hold
on a second. I really want the life I described to you earlier. Don’t you?”
“Yeah,
I do. I’m just really confused right now. I think I need some space. Can we
just pretend that this didn’t happen for a while? I have to figure out what I
need to do, and having you press me for answers right now isn’t going to help.”
“So
that’s it? You just want me to leave until when? How will I even know when you
make your decision? This isn’t fair. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you,
and I’m right here telling you that I’ll still do anything for you. You’ve got
to give me something, though. I can’t wait forever. I’ve been going crazy over
the last four years knowing that you’re with someone else. Make a life with me
now, or put me out of my misery, and let me know that it’s never going to
happen.”
“I’m
sorry, Eric. It can’t happen. I’ve messed things up too badly for it to.”
“What
does that even mean?”
“It
means you need to go back to Miami and fix things with Chastity before it’s too
late. This was a mistake. It was a beautiful mistake, and I still love you, but
it wasn’t right. No one can ever know about it.”
“Are
you really sending me away? You’re smarter than this, Olivia. Why would you
waste what we could have?”
“Because
I don’t have a choice. Please, don’t make this harder on me. It’s bad enough
sending away the man I love. I don’t need him trying to change my mind.”
“If
that’s what you really think, then goodbye, Olivia,” I said and walked out.
In
that moment, I was done with her. I had given her everything I had and come up
empty. I was confused, and I didn’t want to go, but I felt like I had no
choice. I wish I could go back to that place and make a different decision. She
made it clear that she didn’t
want
to
be with Richard. She wanted me, but something was holding her back. If only I
had known then what I know now. I might have been able to say the words that
would change everything.
After
I left the house, I called Chastity. Surprisingly, she answered.
“Hey,
we need to talk,” she said.
“I
know. I’m in Green Bay with my aunt and uncle right now, but I’m coming home
soon.”
“I’m
sorry. I should have supported you. I was just shocked. Can you forgive me?”
Chastity asked.
“Yeah.
I’m sorry for not being the man you thought I was. Let’s just start over. I’ll
come home, and I’ll tell you everything about my past and where I want to go in
the future. I’m a better person than I used to be, Chastity, and I don’t want
to throw away what we have because of something I did a long time ago.”
That
actually wasn’t true. I didn’t have any desire to marry her then. I had just
left the woman I wanted to marry. What else was I going to do, though? Olivia
had sent me away. Nothing was changing in that area. I had to live my life with
someone who wanted to share it with me.
Over
the next few months, a lot would happen. I went home, and Chastity forgave me.
We set our wedding date for December 2
nd
. It seemed like life
couldn’t be better to people on the outside. Even the scandal surrounding Emmitt
and me faded away like yesterday’s news. Then, on a cold November night, I got
a call, and everything in my life stopped. Tragedy had struck, and I would have
never thought it, but a secret was about to be revealed that would change
everything.
My
Uncle’s Secret
November
All
the wedding planning had been done, and Chastity and I were as happy as we
could be. She was ecstatic, and I was doing okay for someone who had just
cheated on his fiancée a few months earlier with the woman who should have been
standing beside him at the alter. Here’s the truth. I wasn’t satisfied at all,
but I thought Chastity was my only chance at happiness. She didn’t need to know
what I had done in Wisconsin. It would only hurt her. She needed me to be the
man who loved her, and I needed her to replace something that I had lost much
longer ago than I cared to admit.
As
we sat in our apartment on a still sunny Miami winter day, I got a phone call
from my aunt. I never expected to hear what she told me.
“Hello,”
I said.
“Eric,
I need to tell you something. Your . . .” she managed to say before I heard her
burst into tears.
“What’s
going on, Aunt Kristen? Are you okay?”
“No,
I’m not.”
“Is
it Uncle Gary?”
I
don’t know how I knew it was
him
, but I just did. His
health hadn’t been good since his first heart attack, and I knew it was only a
matter of time, but I still thought we had many more years together.
“Yeah,
you need to come home.”
“Wait
a minute. Is he okay?”
“No,
Eric, he’s not. He had a heart attack, and . . . and . . .”
“He’s
still alive, though, right?” I asked in desperation.
“He
didn’t make it. I don’t know what we’re going to do here. What am I going to
do?” she asked as if she was just considering that question for the first time.
“I’m
so sorry. We’ll figure
all of this
out together. I’ll
be there in a few hours. I love you.”
After
we said goodbye, I fell apart. I had tried to be strong while I was talking to
Aunt Kristen, but the truth was that I couldn’t take this now. Uncle Gary had
been like a father to me, and knowing that he was gone was the worst feeling in
the world. Everything felt colder, and nothing mattered but getting back to
Green Bay to help my aunt through something that seemed impossible to ever get
over.
“Are
you okay? What happened?” Chastity asked as I wiped a tear from my eyes.
When
I glanced at her, I noticed that she looked fearful. We had known each other since
we were in high school, and not once had she seen me weep. Chastity knew that
something had just changed my entire world.
“My
uncle died. That was Aunt Kristen. I’ve got to go,” I simply said and stood to
pack a bag.
“Are
you crazy? You’re not going anywhere without me. I know what he meant to you,
and I’m going to be there for you. It’s not going to be like last time.”
She
had felt guilty about not standing beside me during the scandal, but this
wasn’t like that. I didn’t want someone standing beside me with supportive
words assuring me that everything was going to be all right. Nothing was okay,
and her being there wouldn’t make a difference.
“I’m
fine, Chastity. I just need some time to process all of this. I want you to
stay here.”
“Why
would you want me here when it’s clear that I need to be with you right now?”
“Because
there are still some last minute things to do on the wedding. I’m not delaying
it. Uncle Gary wouldn’t want that. I need you to take care of all the stuff
here, so I can take care of my aunt for at least a while. Can you do that for
me?”
“Will
it really help? I don’t mind delaying things for a while, if that’s what you
need.”
“No, I need life to go on normally after
I come back. I need you here making sure that I can come back home to something
that feels halfway normal after I deal with everything there. I still can’t
believe he’s gone,” I said and sat down on the bed.
“Come
here,” she said and wrapped her arms around me.
Chastity
didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to. I could feel what she was trying
to convey. She loved me, and she was going to be there for me, no matter what
that meant.
“Are
you sure you want things done this way?” Chastity asked.
“I’m
positive.”
“Okay,
I’ll book you a flight leaving as soon as possible. You should pack your bags.
If at any point you need me, though, I’m a plane ride away. Know that.”
“I
do. Thank you, and I love you,” I said and stood to give her a quick kiss.
While
I packed my bag, I thought about when I was fourteen and I first met Uncle
Gary. He had taken me to a football game. I didn’t even like sports, but I felt
like I fit in so well with him and his friends. They welcomed me. That wasn’t
something I was used to back in Miami. Words like outcast came to mind when I
thought of myself then. He never treated me like an outcast, though. In fact,
he encouraged me to talk to a girl who was way out of my league. Uncle Gary was
the first person to give me confidence instead of taking it away. He taught me how
to be a man, too. Everything I was, good or bad, was partially because of him.
For that, I would always be grateful.
There
were other things that came to mind also. Uncle Gary did some mysterious things
in the months leading up to his death. He always encouraged me to find a way to
talk to Olivia, even though he hadn’t done that in the past. Before he had been
hung up on the fact that she was married, and he should have been. I didn’t
understand what had changed in that area, but I wish I did. I knew he had his
reasons. Then there was what Aunt Kristen had been telling me. Sometimes he
would leave the house unannounced. She didn’t know where he went, and he didn’t
bother telling her. It was unlike him, and the last thing I wanted to think
about was
him
doing something terrible. Still, I wish
I could have understood his state of mind during that time.
I
zipped my bags closed and cleared my thoughts. Whatever he had been thinking in
the months leading up to his death was irrelevant now. He was gone. I had to
remember the best things about him and keep them alive in memory. Everything
else could fade away for all I cared. My uncle wouldn’t be remembered for some
mysterious behavior when this was all over. People would remember him for the
generous and hard
working man
he was.
As
I was walking to the door, Chastity gave me the information about my flight. It
was going to be a few hours before it left, so I had to wait. I didn’t want to,
but sitting up at the airport for hours would do me no good. She convinced me
of that. We spent the time I had left there talking about old stories that
involved my uncle. It seemed like there were a million of them. Every part of
my teen years that was worth revisiting involved only three people. There was
Uncle Gary, Aunt Kristen, and Olivia. Now one of those people was gone, and I
didn’t think I could take it. She listened to every story, though, and when it
was time to go, I kissed Chastity goodbye and boarded a plane bound for what I
thought of as my real home. The apartment I had in Miami was a place to stay.
It wasn’t the home I had in my head for Olivia and me. The people I had there
were my real family, but they weren’t the ones I felt at home with, and the
woman I was supposed to love wasn’t the person I saw every night when I closed
my eyes. I was coming home, and it was going to be a messed up place for the
first time. Still, I was about to be where I belonged. My aunt needed me in the
worst moment of her life, and honestly, I knew I was going to need her in what
was the worst one of mine.
* * * * *
When
the plane finally landed in Green Bay, I got off with full expectations of
having to catch a cab. I hadn’t told my aunt when my flight was getting there,
so why would anyone be picking me up? As soon as I stepped off the plane, I saw
an old friend waiting on me, though. It was Mike.
“What
are you doing here?” I asked him.
“Chastity
called me. She told me when you were going to arrive and asked me to pick you
up. She knew your aunt didn’t need to get out right now.”
“Thank
you for this. It’s already pretty late. You didn’t have to come get me.”
“It’s
a Friday night, Eric. I’m married, but I’m not dead. It’s only eleven. Besides,
I was going to do anything I could for one of my oldest friends. Speaking of
that, is there anything I can do for you? I know this has to be hard,” he said
as we walked toward the exit.
“No,
you’ve done everything you can. This is just messed up. What happened? I know
he had a heart attack, but did he go quickly? Did he say anything to anyone?”
“I
wasn’t there, but from what I understand, he had a heart attack and blacked out
soon after. Your aunt tried to get him back, but it didn’t do any good. When
the paramedics got there, he was already gone. It was quick, and I don’t think
he had time to talk very much. He didn’t have to, though. He loved your aunt,
and she knew that.”
“I
know. I just wish I could have been here to say goodbye or at least see him one
last time. The last time I talked to him, do you know what he said to me? I
asked him for advice about the wedding with Chastity. I was getting cold feet,
and a part of me just wanted to run back here. He told me to follow my heart.
If it was here, he encouraged me to come back running. That wasn’t like him at
all. He normally would have told me to find my courage and marry the woman I
loved. I wish I knew why he said that. Even more, I wish I had taken his
advice. If I had come back, I could have spent the time he had left by his
side. I was like a son to him, Mike.”
“I
know you were. You can’t blame yourself, though. No one can predict when things
like this are going to happen. I think I know why Gary gave you that advice,
too. All he ever wanted was to see you happy. If that was with Chastity, then
he would have approved, but if it were just wasting your life here with all of
us, he would have loved that, too,” Mike said as we got into his car.
“Thanks.
I think you’re right.”
“I
know I am. Are you sure you don’t want to go somewhere and talk before you go home?
We could get a burger and talk about the last few days. It seems like everyone
has gone crazy around here lately.”
“What
do you mean?”
“Get
some food with me, and I’ll tell you everything.”
“All
right, I’m not in a hurry to get home anyway. I’m pretty sure things are going
to be really bad there.”
We
found a good place that stayed open late and got a table. Then Mike started
telling me about all the things that had happened lately in Green Bay. Most of it
was irrelevant like the Packers had lost to the Lions at home for the first
time since the early nineties. Some of it was more serious, but it didn’t
necessarily concern me. A little girl had fallen through the ice recently. It
was tragic, but I had enough grief of my own. I couldn’t concentrate on that.
There was the obvious, too. My uncle was gone, and the people who knew him
weren’t dealing with it very well. Finally, there was something I never
expected to hear.
“Olivia
kicked Richard out, too,” Mike said.
“Wait.
What? Why would she do that?”
“Maybe
that was the wrong way to put things. She wanted him gone, but he agreed to
leave. It all happened tonight. I never would have thought it, but after we all
had dinner together a few years ago, Kelly and I made friends with them. Right
now, Richard Burning is sleeping on my couch. Yeah, a sixteen year old me never
saw that one coming.”
“I
still don’t understand why he left, though. What happened?”
“None
of this can leave the table if I tell you.”
“Come
on. I was your best friend through high school. You can trust me.”
“Apparently,
she cheated on him a few months ago with some guy. I think there’s more to it
than that, but he’s not telling us what it is. I told you that everyone is
going crazy around here, even Olivia.”
“Yeah,
that does sound crazy . . .” I said while losing myself in thought.
They
weren’t the kind of thoughts that I normally would have had. I would have
usually been looking at that as the perfect opportunity to win Olivia back.
Right then, all I could see was grief. Sure, the mystery of why Olivia would
leave her husband and reveal that she had cheated on him weighed on me, but
wasn’t the death of the man who made me who I was so much more important than
that?
“Hey,
are you all right?” Mike asked.
“Yeah,
I’m fine. I’m just really tired. I don’t mean to be rude by spacing out like
that. I just can’t believe the day I’m having. Do you know what I mean?”
“Yeah,
I don’t know what I would be doing if I lost my dad. I know that’s what he was
to you. I’m sorry, man. If you ever need anything, you know I’m here for you.”
“I
know. Let’s get a round for my uncle. He wouldn’t want us to sit here sad and
without a drink. Let’s honor his memory.”
We
made a toast to my uncle and told old stories about him. It was odd. Talking
about him was painful, but at the same time, it was so joyful. The thought of
him gave me a certain type of pain that I didn’t know existed. It was worse
than any I had known, but I didn’t want to ever let go of it. I wanted it to
consume me because the moment I let go, I knew the memory of my uncle would
start to fade. That was something I could never let happen. I would rather live
with a hole in me and know it than live without him and try to forget what I
had lost.