Did You Read That Review ? (19 page)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

303 of 323 people found the following review helpful

Hot shot

By
A Customer
, August 22, 2003

I now own three CDs:
Looking For—Best of David Hasselhoff
(which is an import—i.e., I imported it from elsewhere), “
David Hasselhof—The Very Best
,” and “
The Best of David Hasselhof
.” I also own a table, a chair, a tea set left to me by my gran, a curtain, three pairs of underpants, a small fridge that does not work, a black-and-white television, a bicycle pump, a shirt, two pairs of grey trousers, a tin of sweet corn, and a hedgehog-shaped shoe scraper. I own a knife, a fork, and a coffee cup, a tie (black), a pair of odd socks, and a pair of matched socks, one cassette of calming sounds designed to help me stop smoking (I have never smoked), a newspaper from June 1987, a carrier bag from the co-op, a plastic wallet in which I keep
my bus pass and any money I ever obtain through whatever means (usually favours to desperate men), a towel, a bar of imperial leather dating from 1996, and a pair of brown shoes. I think when I get a CD player I will like this album most out of all of my possessions because the reviews of it are so good. If I ever have any more possessions I will try to let you know. I expect the song “Hot Shot City” is particularly good.

100 of 107 people found the following review helpful

A Tropical Storm in Your Trousers

By
A Customer
, November 28, 2002

Don’t be mistaken, the instant this (exquisitely packaged, btw) disc leaps its way onto your Beat Box (mine’s a multichanger) like a thrusting man-god in orange subduing an Atlantic surf-storm (but this time without that plastic thing on a string), a tsunami of sheer lunatic artistry descends on one’s fornicating worthlessness. On you jump, the elevator of higher understanding, accelerating toward and through each track (floor), until you stop at Lingerie & Ladies’ Fashions that is “Hot Shot City,” which is particularly good. Meanwhile, outside Hafflehorse’s carrot-hued universe, you don’t notice that your tongue has been trapped in an egg whisk for some while as you become a floater, bobbing downstream in the undercurrent of sonic dysentery toward “Je t’aime Means I Love You,” a foreplay of toe-sucking banjo virtuoso, soaring then tumbling into the tender congress of harmonies between a rabid parrot and a peeled monkey. Leave well alone, if you feel shaving ferrets is life enough; otherwise be *very* aware, peer beyond the cover hewn from the rock of Olympus itself and forever stain your psyche with an indelible chalky whiteness.

61 of 67 people found the following review helpful

On the first day, God created David Hasselhoff

By
Wayne Buzzard
, November 11, 2003

What can you say about David Hasselhoff that hasn’t already been said one thousand times before? The man is quite simply a musical genius. Hasselhoff’s entire arsenal of musical weaponry is on full display in this album. At first I didn’t really believe that David Hasselhoff, international star of television and cinema, could actually be a talented musician. I was skeptical to say the least. Then my friend played a few Hasselhoff songs for me and, wow, I was hooked. The words flowed forth from Hasselhoff’s tender lips like sweet nectar from the mouth of God himself. I found myself in a trance of pure joy and ecstasy as the soothing rhythms caressed my ear. Hasselhoff’s hymns had brought me to the summit of human achievement, and I was now free to look down at the wreckage and ruin that lay below. I stared into the distance and said, “Oh thine Hasselhoff, how thy music hath saved my immortal soul.” Hasselhoff’s music is life making, and I can only hope that you, too, will experience its profound gifts.

3.6 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Westland Giftware Star Trek Magnetic Spock & Captain Kirk Salt and Pepper Shaker Set, 4½ Inches

ASIN:
     B0050386CG

Price:
     
$15.95

Westland Giftware Star Trek Magnetic Spock and Captain Kirk Salt and Pepper Shaker Set, 4½ inches. A magnetic insert keeps these cute shakers together.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3,850 of 3,888 people found the following review helpful

Too realistic

By
George Takei
, June 11, 2013

After Brad got me this set, I realized that they were a bit TOO true to life. The Kirk shaker kept wandering off in search of “lady shakers,” insisting his salt crystals were real dilithium. I’d have recommended this as a great Father’s Day gift, but I noticed over time that the body of the shaker droops, and the uniform now seems, well, a bit snug. I also was disappointed to learn that the hairpiece does NOT come off as expected. One star off my marks for that. Plus, the Spock shaker kept trying to rescue the Kirk shaker, even after it crawled in the microwave and was irradiated beyond repair. And while Spock’s magnetic pull with Kirk is strong, it seems to much prefer the Uhura unit. I literally had to pry them apart, admonishing, “Alright, you’ve pon far enough.” This incident also made me realize that I must be in the alternate tableware timeline.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

OMG! These are SO NOT saltshakers

By
Joanna Daneman
, June 12, 2013

If you are a
Star Trek Original Show
(TOS) fan you KNOW what’s going on here. Clearly, Korob and Sylvia from the planet Pyris VII have been at it again. Using a matter transmuter, Sylvia previously changed the
Enterprise
into a very decorative keychain fob and heated it over a candle. Everyone inside the
Enterprise
was remarkably oblivious to this monumental transformation. (Hey, anyone look out a window? Look at the fat lady the size of a solar system! That ain’t right!) Well, they did feel a bit warmish—isn’t it getting a tad hot in here? What in hell is going on with climate control down in Engineering? There is NO WAY these figures of Spock and Kirk are saltshakers; what a joke. As if anyone on the
Enterprise
needs a saltshaker. Ha!! Everyone knows you just tell the replicator to add 10 milligrams of sodium chloride to the Andorrian Goulash. That’s right. I’m sure by now you realize that these “shakers” are really Spock and Kirk, and they’ve been miniaturized by the evil Sylvia and her minion Korob for their evil plans. If you do order these, I suggest you find the matter transmuter and take control (it’s been described as a jeweled necklace around a cat’s neck). Then you can rescue the captain and his first officer and get the
Enterprise
back on course. So start by looking around. Any cats? Any of them have ornamented collars? Oh! Look, there’s one! Grab it! Oh, just a vaccination tag, sorry. Moving on. Here, kitty, kitty!