"That's what I'm getting at, sweetheart," Tobias whispered. "What might be best for him isn't what's right for you. I want what's best for you. Period. Okay? And that's why I'm not going to give you that permission. You can tell him I said no, and that'll be the end of the conversation. Outside of a scene, you may not have sex with Phantom. Clear?"
Noah nodded. "Yes, sir." He seemed greatly relieved, and let out a long sigh before he settled more comfortably into Tobias arms. "Understood, sir. God, that's so much easier."
Tobias nodded and kissed the top of Noah's head. "You're comfortable still seeing him, with that in place? Because I can talk to Bradford, set something else up. Brian, maybe, or even Nikki."
"I'm fine with it. This is much easier on me, sir. If it's you saying no and not just me saying it, he won't question it, and I won't have to feel bad about turning him down. It solves my own control issues, too. T
hankyou, sir."
"Self-control, yes," Tobias said. "But it doesn't take away the fact that you want him. Do you want to talk about that?"
"I wanted him then. I don't always. Mostly, I think of him as a friend. But he's so... sexual. He's graceful and fluid, he just... sexy. It's hard not to want him sometimes. I can't imagine I'm alone in feeling that way."
Again, Tobias laughed. "Oh, no. You're not alone. In fact, I think Bradford is one of the few to remain unaffected -- I'd ask him his secret, but I'm not sure I want it to stop. It's almost... fun, wanting Phan when he's trying hard."
"He knows, too. He knows exactly what effect he has on people. He's very clever that way."
"It's what he was taught," Tobias said, fighting the wave of anger that always threatened to overwhelm him when he thought about what Phan was forced to endure as a child. "But after a while one can learn
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when he's merely playing and when he's hiding behind his sexuality. He's very skilled at manipulating, but a big part of him wants to be caught at it so he can stop. Do you think he was being manipulative when he came on to you, or was he just wanting to take advantage of the opportunity?"
"Honestly? It felt like he just wanted to make me feel good. I actually think it was very genuine. It's possible he was manipulating me and I didn't see it, but no warning bells went off."
Tobias shook his head. "I wouldn't worry about it then, pet." He stroked Noah's arms again and hugged him a little tighter. "Anything else you wanted to talk about?"
Noah shook his head and shifted slightly so he was lying against Tobias rather than just sitting against him. "No, sir, that was all that was on my mind. You?"
"So long as you're happy," he said softly. "I'm fine."
If there was something Tobias was never sure he'd balanced well, it was where Noah slept. A small part of him, the pure Dom, the part that had ached to own Phan like a possession, wanted Noah on the floor all night, chained to the bed. The rest of him -- the lover, the partner, the top who merely wanted to bury his cock deep in Noah's ass or mouth -- that part wanted his boy in the bed.
He was fairly sure Noah generally preferred the bed, although he liked the chain and was positively giddy about the collar.
Maybe one day he'd get it sorted out to their satisfaction.
Noah was in bed with him this time. They both needed it, Tobias thought, and he slept better with Noah curled against him. He'd been treated to both bath and hot tea, so sleep came quickly, comfortably.
The room was still dark and also slightly chilly when he woke. Or, to be more precise, when Noah woke him. Warm hands roamed over Tobias' skin, stroking his back, his hips, his thighs. He felt hot breath and the pinch of teeth on his ass, and he was hard almost instantly. He bent a knee and Noah hummed his approval, pushing it up to open him even further, and then circled his hole, gently and deliberately, with his tongue.
"Oh, God," Tobias moaned. He loved this, just loved it. If he was completely honest, this was one of the reasons he really liked having Noah in bed. He could easily order Noah to do this, he knew, but it was just more intense, more pleasurable, when Noah surprised him in the mornings.
He bent his leg even more, rubbing his cock on the cotton sheets as he tried to encourage Noah to go faster. "Please," he whispered.
Noah's fingers dug into his cheeks and tugged them wide. His tongue moved faster and with more purpose. He was licking and biting, teasing sensitive skin, and making soft, low sounds that were partially muffled into Tobias' ass.
Finally, Noah groaned loudly and his tongue dove into Tobias, intruding again and again with relentless, shallow thrusts.
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"Oh, God, yes!" Tobias arched his back, wantonly shoving his ass back to Noah. "Please, Noah. God, yes, please." His cock throbbed and he rubbed against the sheets again, trying to get more sensation. He cried out again as Noah's tongue fucked him, and he tried to open himself further.
He couldn't think. He didn't want to think. He just wanted more. "Noah!" he yelled. "Please! God, yes!"
"You are so hot when you scream," Noah panted at him when he came up for air. He quickly replaced his tongue with two fingers and pressed them deep. "Makes me so hard." Noah's fingers thrust in and out, searching for Tobias' sweet spot. "Where is it, baby?" he asked rhetorically. "I want to hear you."
Tobias couldn't breathe, couldn't get enough air into his lungs, and then -- suddenly -- he could. He screamed, his hips rolling back as he fucked himself on Noah's fingers. More. He wanted more, and couldn't ask for it, so he'd let himself revel in what he was given.
He screamed again as Noah's fingers pushed at the sullen hot spot inside him, sensation shooting through him like lightning. "Fuck, yes!" he cried, one hand reaching for his cock. "More!"
"Jesus..." Noah breathed, his voice sounding heavy and rough. Tobias felt Noah's fingers slip away, and he moaned loudly. "Anything you need, love," his sub-turned-lover said softly. Tobias caught a flash of Noah's hand in the corner of his eye and heard the bedside table drawer open and close. "I want to be everything you need."
Then Noah's fingers were on him again, taking hold of his hips and tugging him partly to his knees.
Tobias felt the warm, hard head of Noah's slippery prick press against him and then slowly, very slowly, into him.
"Oh, God," Tobias moaned. He didn't quite dare to believe it, didn't quite know what to do or say. He knew he'd lose what rational mind he had in very short order, so it had to count. "Thankyou," he finally managed, shifting his hips and moving back slightly, meeting Noah as he filled him. "Love you."
His head dropped down and he gave himself over to just feeling, loving the pressure and slight burn as Noah slipped into him. He ached for this, welcomed it. "Oh, God," he moaned again. "Yes, please."
Noah pressed deep and held there a moment, leaning partly over Tobias to spread kisses over his shoulders. "I love you so much," he whispered, and then with more voice he added, "Jesus fuck, you're tight."
Noah started to move, keeping hold of Tobias' hips as he thrust. It started out slow and tentative, more about sensation than anything else, but soon began to build. Thrust after thrust, Tobias sensed Noah's confidence growing, until he was fucking Tobias soundly, plunging into him over and over, his fingers bruising Tobias' skin.
Tobias was almost past words. He repeated an endless litany of begging for more and thanking Noah for what he had, almost hoarse from crying out. He grunted and growled and threw himself back to meet Noah's thrusts, shoving his ass higher as Noah pounded against his gland.
His arms gave out and he sank down onto the pillows, his knees spreading as he let Noah force him closer to coming. He felt like he was a tension spring, coiled to never break, but almost sprung. He began to growl, his voice building to a near howl as he began to move again, working with Noah.
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"Oh, baby!" Noah encouraged. He shifted as well, and his thrusts grew faster, one arm now braced by Tobias' shoulder. He was panting hard, his breath hot on Tobias' back. "Close," he groaned. "Tobias...
it's so good. Come on, baby, come for me."
The howl grew into a roar and Tobias threw his head back, his eyes shut tight as he grabbed his cock with one hand. He pulled at himself almost brutally, yanking his climax from his body. The world grew hazy as his body started to spasm, his ass clamping down on Noah's cock, keeping him deep in Tobias'
body. His roar faded to a whimper as he shot onto the sheets, ribbons of come soaking the bedding as he panted and moaned through his orgasm.
"Yes!" Noah yelled, and his hips jerked against Tobias' ass as he came. Tobias was dimly aware of Noah as he shivered above him, riding out the rush until it left Noah boneless and gasping, hanging over Tobias' back. "Oh, God... oh, God," Noah managed to say as he exhaled heavily. Tobias felt almost desperate fingers in his hair, and hungry lips on his shoulders. "Baby."
"Sweetheart," he whispered. "Oh, God, sweetheart. Love you so much. Thankyou." He sank down onto the bed, lying in the mess and not caring. "God, thankyou."
Noah settled beside him, curling around Tobias' back and wrapping an arm around to his chest to pull their bodies tightly together. "You're welcome," he told Tobias, "I love you, you know I love you."
"I know you do," Tobias said in a whisper. He didn't trust himself to speak clearly -- already he was feeling overly emotional. "But that... that was wonderful, sweetheart. A gift."
"Mmm," Noah sighed. His voice was soft and lazy. "I'd been thinking about it for a while. I was nervous at first, but your reaction made it so worth it. I'm so glad I was able do that for you."
Tobias would have lifted his head to look at Noah if he'd had the energy. "You have? You were?
Yeah?" He blinked and tried again. "You were nervous? And how long were you torturing yourself with that, pet?"
"Oh, God, a long time, sir," Noah admitted, slipping automatically back into sub status with Tobias'
name for him. "But don't worry about it, I knew it would happen eventually, I just had to..." His voice trailed off and he shifted behind Tobias. "It's a lot like how I know you'd never have asked me. I didn't know how to offer, you know? Or if I even could."
"Could?"
"Do we have to talk about this right now?" Noah asked, evading the question. He snuggled closer and ran his hand over Tobias' side. "You feel so good."
"You feel better. And, no, but you know we will soon, if only because you've made me a curious pile of well-fucked flesh." He smiled, fairly sure he wasn't making sense. "I'm going to ache all day..." he said, utterly content.
Noah laughed. "I'll take that as a compliment. I'm hoping that you're happy about that, sir. Are you hungry? I'm going to have to go take care of the horses soon. You want coffee before I go?"
"I'll be asleep before you leave the house," Tobias assured him. "But I wouldn't mind a cup when you get back. Noah?"
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"Sir?"
"I love you."
Noah climbed over him and smiled. "I know," he said, and kissed Tobias passionately. After a moment, he pulled away and licked his lips, looking flushed and breathless. "Horses."
Noah slipped out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom.
Tobias briefly considered chasing after him, but even as the sound of water running started up he knew he'd be happier merely lying in bed and enjoying the aches and pains that came from being loved that way. Carefully, he pressed one of the bruises forming on his hip and grinned as his groin tightened in response.
There would be time to chase Noah later; now was for sleep and relishing the sensations still zinging through his body.
Now was for knowing how much Noah loved him back.
Tobias sat in the truck and stared out the window until the late February chill had settled into his bones.
As he was sitting in the sun, and out of the wind, he assumed it had taken a while, but he really wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there. With a deep sigh he finally roused himself and went back into the barn to tell Deidre he had to leave for the day and probably the week.
"Are you all right to drive?" she asked him, quiet and serious. "I can call Noah."
He shook his head. "I'll be fine, Dee, thankyou. I'll call him on the way to the farm."
She nodded and hugged him hard. "I'm sorry, Tobias. So sorry."
"Me, too."
He drove almost halfway to the farm before he remembered to call Noah. He used the phone in the truck, grateful for both the hands-free system and the digital signal that was coming up strong. He bit his lip and debated between calling Noah's pager and calling his phone, and settled on simply sending the car phone number to the pager; Noah would call when he was alone, and that might be better. Then he called the garage and told them that Noah might be by for the car.
It was about twenty minutes before the phone rang. Tobias sighed, but he answered after a couple of rings. "Noah..."
Noah was using his work voice, that rich, authoritative cop voice, when he spoke. "Sir? I got your page.
Where are you? Is this the truck number?"
"Yeah, it is. I need you. Can you get away?" He wondered if his voice was really that tired sounding.
"I'm about ten minutes from the farm," he added as an afterthought.
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"Uh... sure. Yes, sir. Let me just... you sound awful, you've got me worried. Let me just talk to Carol.
Are you all right? Are you driving?" Tobias could hear Noah shuffling in the background and then a car door open and close.
"Mrs. Miller died," Tobias said softly. "I'm going home."