Down the Hidden Path (32 page)

On the floor of her closet were the spike-heeled boots she’d been wearing when they’d rescued David and Caleb. She’d scraped the sides and had broken off one of the heels. Still, she hadn’t been able to throw them away. But today, she felt stronger, so she snatched them up and deposited them in the trashcan in the corner of her bedroom. It was a new day. It was time to move on. She’d spent too many years wishing things had been different with Miah. Too many nights wondering what might have happened if he hadn’t left for LA back when they were teenagers, when it seemed the whole world stretched before them, ready to be lived and relished.

Now, she just wanted to move on with her life. She
did
have a bright future. His name was David. And David understood, too. Which was miraculous, in Gray’s mind. He’d told her he knew Miah loved him, but being a full-time dad was probably scary and he’d tried, but he just . . . wasn’t that good at it yet.

Gray shoved the Valentine’s dress to the back of her closet and pulled out a simple black one that was cut to fit her body and landed just above the knees.

In the living room, David had returned to his book.

“How about this one?”

He inspected it with narrowed eyes. “Yep.”

The smile meant approval and Gray breathed relief. “See? I’m not trying to sabotage it.”

“Yeah. Keep telling yourself that.”

“Okay, mister. That’s enough. Make sure you have your stuff ready, or I’m leaving you here.”

“Stacey and Rick are expecting me.”

Stacey’s brother, Rick, and David had hung out together quite a bit in the last two weeks. Apparently, David’s antics on the snowmobile had spawned a sort of idol worship with some of the other boys. Horrible how a near tragedy could do that. At least something good had come out of it. Everyone forgot about the camping trip gone wrong, too busy chattering about being in the cold water, the rescue, how the incident made it on to the Laver news.

David had gathered his backpack and stood at the front door when Gray came out dressed and fumbling with her heels. When she realized she’d forgotten her earrings, she spun. “Two seconds.”

He groaned. “Ugh. Women.”

Gray clamped a hand on the bedroom door and angled to look at him. “Did you learn that from Jeremiah?”

David grinned in answer. “Yep. He said women’s clocks are broken so they’re not good with time.”

She slipped the small hoops into her ears. “What does that mean?”

His eyes sparkled with mischief. “If a woman says it will take her fifteen minutes to get ready that means thirty at least. If she says she’s only going to shop five more minutes, it will be an hour because her watch is broken so no matter how long she shops, five minutes is always five minutes away.”

“He’s completely corrupted you.” Maybe she should stay angry a while longer.

David plopped down on the bench on her front porch as she locked the front door. “I’m sorry about everything, Gray. You know, about you and Miah.” His face was smooth, the concentration causing a line between his brows.

She sat, too, and pulled him into a side hug. “It just wasn’t meant to be,” she said. “But we’ll both be here for you. That’s what matters. And we both love you.” That, she was certain of. That was undeniable. David would have them for the rest of his life. One day, she’d find a good man who could be a good stepdad for David. And she supposed one day, Miah would marry. The thought of him loving another woman bit into her heart. But it was inevitable.

David watched her for several seconds. The sun had set behind them, its last glow throwing an orangey hue onto the yard. He pointed to the sky. “See that star?”

She followed his gaze. “The bright one that twinkles?”

“That’s the Eye of God. As long as you can see it, it means He’s watching over you. It means everything is going to be okay. It means things are going to work out like they’re supposed to.”

She squeezed his shoulders. “I’m so proud of you, David. You’ve been through a lot in the last several months and I’m constantly amazed at your ability to handle all the things thrown your way.”

“It’s your fault, Gray.”

She tilted to look at him.

He smiled, the shine from the streetlight snagging on his dark head. “It’s your fault I’m so strong. You’ve always been there for me. Always. You taught me to never give up. You’ll see. Things are gonna work out like they’re supposed to.”

The image of Miah fanning a billow of smoke in the kitchen at the lodge skittered through her mind. She forced it down into the pit of her stomach where all her sorrows lay in clumps surrounded by the could-have-beens. She smiled through the sorrow, then rested the side of her head on David’s, where they could sit for a few minutes and gaze at the Eye of God.

Caleb had returned home after four days in the hospital. He’d begged for a couple weeks off from therapy and reluctantly, Miah had agreed. Besides, it hurt too much to see Gray right now, especially here at the lodge. He kept telling himself it would get better, but every time he’d show up at her door, the flu-like pain racked his system anew.

Around the house, things were back to some pseudosense of normalcy even though the house was too quiet without David and Gray lighting up the place. The fact was Miah wanted both of them more than he wanted his next breath. Unfortunately, his knee-jerk reaction had cost him everything. Now he understood why good parents never, ever gave up on their kids. He wanted to be a full-time dad. And would gladly accept all the risk that came with that title. If only it wasn’t too late.

Caleb had cooked spaghetti for dinner. Miah was clearing dishes and knew his younger brother’s eyes were on him. Finally, Caleb cornered him at the sink. “Dude, you gotta snap out of it.”

Water ran in rivulets down the sink, creating a spaghetti-orange miniwhirlpool at the drain. “Huh?”

Caleb slapped a hand on the counter. “That’s what I’m talking about. You’re lost, dude. Like a brainless robot going through the motions of daily life, but not feeling any of it.”

Not feeling any of it? Was he kidding? Miah felt everything, as if his entire system was in hypersensitive mode. Every pain, every memory, every thought. All of them intensified to the point of torture. Two weeks ago, he almost lost his son permanently. Now, he’d lost not only his son but also the woman he loved. In one night, everything had changed. In one night, his whole world had crumbled. But it wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own. He’d pushed Gray away. He’d made the call to send David to live with her. He carried the full brunt of the decision. And that choice was eating away at him, like acid corroding his body. And that right there was why he’d never get to carry the full-time dad label where David was concerned. Miah had already blown it.

For the first few days, David wouldn’t even talk to him, refused to see him, then one day, Miah had shown up and David was cordial, not friendly, but tolerant. He’d tried to make him understand and David had rallied. But there was a deep hurt in Gray’s eyes that opened the wounds that she’d sealed twelve years ago. Kids were more forgiving, he supposed. Gray, well, Gray was Gray and she didn’t allow people to trouble the deep waters of her heart. But when someone did, she’d close them off completely. He couldn’t blame her. He deserved the treatment he got.

He still loved her. Now, he’d have to live with the pain of his actions. He guessed he deserved that, too. He raised his head to find Caleb snapping his fingers under Miah’s nose. “You gotta fix this.”

He wrung his hands on a dishtowel. “I don’t think I can, Caleb.”

“No. You don’t get it. I’m not making a suggestion. You and Gray deserve this chance.”

“I had my chance. I blew it.”

“You totally blew it.” Caleb sank his hands in his pockets, head shaking. “She’s more than you think she is.”

“What?”

Caleb slapped him on the back and started to walk out of the kitchen.

Miah stopped him. “What do you mean?”

His younger brother turned, came back slowly. “Do you have any idea how tedious it was for her to watch me do my therapy? Day after day, exercise after exercise. Constant. Over and over. It would have been boring for a snail.”

“I’m not following you.” But Miah placed the towel by the sink and anchored his hands on the counter so he could hear Caleb out. If there was any way, any hope . . .

“She doesn’t give up as easily as you think. Somewhere in her heart, there’s the capacity to forgive you . . . again . . . you’re such an idiot, but whatever. She can forgive you, Miah. If she can do that, she can give you another chance.”

He shook his head. “Not sure I deserve it. David was still in the hospital and I just loaded up his stuff and dumped it all on her.”

“You made a mistake. You’re not perfect; you just like to think you are.” Caleb’s mouth quirked. “Besides, if you don’t deserve a second chance, then who does?”

“What?”

Caleb leaned forward on the butcher-block counter. “You’ve spent your life protecting our country. You put your life on the line so families were free to sleep at night. You protected so others wouldn’t have to. If you don’t deserve a second chance, who does?”

Miah patted Caleb’s forearm. “Not sure it works like that.”

Caleb leaned away from him. “I just never thought I’d see you run away.”

Miah’s fingers clamped on to the edge of the counter. No one could make him mad faster than Caleb. “I’m not—”

“Miah. Gray has loved you her whole life. Don’t you think
she
deserves this?”

His hands were going sweaty. “She deserves better—”

“Stop it. Man, for a dude who walks around like God’s gift, you really have no self-esteem, do you? Who will love her more? Who will take better care of her? Who do you want to grow old with, Miah? And more importantly, who do you want her to grow old with?”

Miah’s face was slick with sweat because, for the first time in two weeks, he was convinced he might not have completely ruined his life. Miah swabbed his face with the dish towel. It smelled like spaghetti sauce. His heart pounded against his chest like a drum, thumping away the moments, ushering in the thought that maybe, just maybe, he could actually fix this. But his mind was a blank. Even the idea that he might still have a chance with Gray caused his muscles to seize up.

There was a knock at the door. It took a moment to register the sound and when Miah finally did, Caleb was already making his way there.

Hope and fear fought inside Miah’s chest. Could it be Gray?

Caleb pulled the door open to David and Stacey. “Hey, science nerd.”

David grinned. “Hey, meathead. Can I talk to Miah?”

Miah stepped into the living room, his heart floating on hope. David was here. This was the first time he’d come to the lodge since the snowmobile incident. “Come in.”

Caleb looked at Stacey. “You want some hot cocoa? Miah made it earlier. We can warm it up in the kitchen while these two talk.”

She nodded and pulled her jacket off, then followed Caleb.

David walked into the room, shoulders squared and a serious look on his face. “I’m here to talk to you man-to-man.”

“Okay.” Miah followed him to the couch and David motioned for him to sit down. He obeyed and watched as David paced the floor in front of him, his hands deep in his pockets. “My mom’s out on a date.”

Miah lurched forward. “A date?” What? It had only been two weeks.

“Yeah, with that plastic-looking cat doctor who smiles too much. I don’t even think those teeth are real; I think he stole ’em from a horse.”

A date. Flu-like symptoms rushed his body. Again.

“Here’s the thing. She’s a really great lady. She doesn’t like the cat doctor, not really, she just has her heart hurt and she wants to make it better.”

Miah dropped his gaze. “David, I’ve ruined everything.”

He moved over to him, patted Miah’s shoulder. “It’s okay. You can fix it.”

He looked up to find his son’s face full of hope. “I ruined things with you, too. I made a really stupid mistake. I thought I was doing the right thing having you move in with Gray. I didn’t want to see anything bad happen to you.”

David dropped onto the couch beside him. “But it did happen. Not the accident, but you. We lost you. We don’t want to lose you, Miah. Mom doesn’t either, she just . . . she’s so used to having to be strong for everyone else. She’s sooooo mad at you, but she really, really in her heart loves you.”

“It might be too late.”

“I listened to her cry herself to sleep for the first week. Now, she’s just pretending like we can move on. But we can’t move on. Not without you.”

Emotions swelled to the point where Miah could no longer contain them. Here his son was exhibiting more strength than he could muster. Here, his son was trying to repair all of their broken hearts. He pivoted and took David’s face in his hands. “Do you remember when I screwed up on the fishing trip? You told me that just because you weren’t good at it didn’t mean you didn’t want to try?”

David nodded, causing Miah’s hands to bob up and down. “I want to try, David. I’m not very good at being your dad, but I want to try. I’m so sorry I pushed you away.” There were tears streaking Miah’s face. David reached up, brushed them off.