DUBIOUS (2 page)

I guess I had gotten his attention because I didn’t detect an attitude.

“
I’ve been putting your mail in your office, and since you haven’t been here, it’s piling up. A letter came from the bank that requires your signature, today. They sent this second request Certified Mail, and I signed for it.”

“
Why does the bank need my signature? The loan is in your name; I’m just a tenant.”

“
It’s the Use and Occupancy Permit and as the tenant, you have to sign it. If we don’t get the papers back today, they will place the loan in default.”

He sighed. “Fine. I can’t leave right now, but if you bring them to the kennel, I can sign them real quick.”

“
Sorry, I can’t. I had to come home to change clothes because I spilled coffee on my shirt. If you come home now, I can drop them off to the bank and still be on time for my two o’clock deposition.”

“
Damn. What time is it?”

“
Eleven-thirty.”

“
Alright, I’m on my way. Leave the papers on my desk, and I’ll sign them. I’ve got to get right back. I’ve got an appointment this afternoon that I can’t be late for.” He hung up without saying goodbye.

“
I got your appointment.” I threw the phone on the bed and continued to get dressed. “Nothing is more important than the appointment you have between my legs and getting us back on track.”

***

I nervously paced the floor while awaiting Randy’s arrival. I could not decide where would be the best place to greet him. Part of me wanted to stand at the front door butter-ball naked, but the thought of carpet burns on my ass ruled that out. I wanted him to manhandle me like he did when we had first gotten married, rip my clothes off, suck my breasts, and drive his dick deep into my emptiness.

My pussy had gotten wet just thinking about it.

“
I sure hope he takes a bath before he comes home,” I mumbled out loud, even though I had already decided I would take the dick in whatever form he decided to give it to me.

Ever since he had started running the kennel, he stopped doing the basic things in life like bathing. His goatee, which he normally kept trim and distinguished, had turned into a wild and wooly beard. His hair had grown long enough to braid, but I would be happy if he ran a comb through it or, at the very least, he wiped off all the dog hair that seemed to cling to his skin. The Randy I remembered had skin like rich milk chocolate. He was a hunk who was well over six feet tall, who weighed in at about 230 pounds. He had the most perfect teeth, and he had two dimples that made me wanna holla every time he smiled. His most striking feature, though, was his eyes. Most black men had dark brown or black eyes but his were chestnut with flecks of green in them.

I heard the downstairs door opening and the sound of rapid foot falls across the hardwood floors. I expected him to call me any minute, and he did not disappoint me.

“
Felicia, I don’t see any paperwork.”

“
I’m up here,” I hollered back. I draped myself over the bed in my most provocative pose. My pussy was practically dripping in anticipation.

He took the stairs, seemingly two at a time, and arrived at our bedroom out of breath and disheveled as hell. His smell assaulted my nose, and I fought hard not to wrinkle my nose in distaste. Briefly, I toyed with the idea of getting mine in the shower, thereby killing two birds with one stone.

Looking everywhere but nowhere near me, he went right to our dresser, not bothering to so much as to say hi. I struggled against the urge to snap on him. Didn’t he see this pussy all dressed up for him?

Throwing up his hands in apparent frustration, he turned to face me. “Where are the papers you said I need to sign? Didn’t I tell you I have to run in and out?”

His anger was barely kept in check, but he wasn’t the only one angry now. I had one nerve left and he was standing on it, but again, I held my tongue.

“
Hello,” I said, trying my best to sound seductive, but it didn’t resonant that way to my ears. I sounded needy instead.

“
Hey.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his wild hair, leaving stray hairs, which I assumed were from the dogs that were ruining our lives.

“
Sit down for a minute; it’s been so long since we’ve had a chance to talk to each other.” Patting the bed, I tried to get him to look at me, but he wasn’t cooperating.

“
Yeah, talk … that’s right. I’ve been meaning to talk to you for some time now,” he said, almost mumbling. He was still distracted, and his eyes were wandering around the room.

My heart soared with love. All the preparation and the deceit were about to pay off. I moved over on the bed to allow him room to rest his body, but he remained standing. Hoping to urge him along, I tugged aside the thin material that hid my clean-shaven pussy.

“
It’s about the kennel.” He cleared his throat as if he were searching for the right words to say.

I was outdone. Here I sat practically dripping like a faucet and he wanted to talk about his precious kennel. “The what?” I said in disbelief. Surely my ears were deceiving me.

“
The kennel, I need to expand it. I need you to take out a second mortgage on the house to help me grow the business.”

“
What did you say?” Snapping my legs shut, I sat up on the bed so fast I felt dizzy. If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn that I’d stepped onto the set of
The Twilight Zone
.

“
Come on, Felicia, I don’t have a lot of time.” He looked at his watch for emphasis.

Something inside me snapped. I grabbed my robe from the foot of the bed and put it on. Since it was obvious that Randy wasn’t interested in what I was offering him, there wasn’t need to continue lying around like a dressed turkey at Thanksgiving. My ego was bruised. I started to wonder why I was trying so hard to hold on to this asshole. “Oh, it’s like that? You barge in here—after God’s knows how long—and have the nerve to twist your lips to say that you don’t have time for me?” I was livid.

“
I didn’t say I didn’t have time for you. I just said I didn’t have time for this!” He looked around the room and finally noticed the candles, the soft music coming out of the stereo, and if he hadn’t been so funky, the erotic smells emanating from the room. Understanding finally ignited. His eyes softened, but the words he uttered remained the same. “Look, let me sign the papers. We can talk about the loan later tonight. I gotta run.” He looked around the room again, dismissing me and my wants and desires.

This was the final straw as far as I was concerned. “There is nothing to talk about. I won’t do it.”

“
I’m not here to argue with you, Felicia. Just give me the damn papers and stop acting like a silly bitch.”

I could tell he regretted the
silly bitch
part almost immediately after he had said it, but it was too late. The damage was done.

“
Oh, I got your silly bitch.” I was already pulling the earrings out my ears, ready to go toe to toe with his foul-smelling ass. At that moment, I had forgotten he was supposed to be the love of my life. Instead, he was an enemy that I needed to destroy.

“
You know what, if you don’t get me that loan then it’s over.” He twisted up his lips as if he had smelled something funky coming off of me.

His words cooled my fire and caused me to pull up from the head-butt I was about to give him. Surely he didn’t mean our marriage was over … oh hell no! “Are you saying that you are going to leave me if I don’t?” I was stunned into no action.

“
I can show your silly ass better than I can tell you.” He turned around and headed straight to the closet, which was off of the master bathroom.

Feeling dizzy again, I sat back down on the bed with the wind knocked out of me.

CHAPTER 2

Grabbing the first set of luggage that we had purchased together, I started flinging my shit into the suitcases. This wasn’t the way that I thought this would go, but I had to make her see how serious I was about expanding my kennel. Just because she controlled the purse strings in our relationship, I wasn’t going to allow her to dictate how it was spent. Fuck that!

Hell, I wasn’t asking for a lot of money. I just needed about twenty-five thousand dollars to build the extension and, perhaps, another fifty or so to buy the property next door—a measly hundred grand tops! She probably had that in an IRA somewhere just gathering dust. With the way the business was going, I knew we could have paid back the money in a few years. But no, she didn’t want to hear my business plan. All she wanted to do was just say no. “You dumb-ass, silly bitch,” I purposely said loud enough for her to hear in the next room.

Picking up my suitcase off the floor, I moved it over to the counter to collect the rest of my toiletries items from our shared vanity. As I packed my clippers and my trimmers, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and the sight was unfamiliar. My eyes were glazed and wild- looking. What disturbed me most, though, was my face. My over-grown beard made me look like a caveman, and my clothes hadn’t seen a washing machine in weeks. In the confining space of the bathroom, my body odor caught up with me. “Damn, I sure do stink.”

Without giving it a second thought, I stripped out of the offending clothes and threw them into the dirty clothes bin. Since I had already spent too much time at the house, I decided to take a quick shower. It wasn’t until I was in the shower that I decided it might not have been the smartest move I’d ever made, but I was hopeful that this delay would have given Felicia time to come to her senses. On the other hand, it might have given her all the more reason to attack me while I was naked. That thought propelled me to move my ass.

I used her wash cloth to rinse away the sweat and funk that I’d ignored. The water felt good, but I fought the temptation to linger because I felt guilty being away from my kennel. I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel from the rack. It was slightly damp but that didn’t bother me. I wouldn’t be here long enough to worry about it. I paused when I notice Felicia perched on the toilet seat glaring at me. She watched my swinging dick as if she wanted to snatch it off.

Fear invaded my body as I looked at her hands to see if she was carrying a weapon. Thankfully her hands were empty. If looks could kill, I would have been a dead man. Turning around, I wrapped the towel around my waist. Satisfied that I had covered my most precious jewel, I continued to throw items into my suitcase.

“
Who is she?” Her voice was calm, but I wasn’t fooled. She was pissed.

“
What are you talking about?” I replied in an equally calm manner. I just needed to get the rest of my shit and get the hell out of there before she tried anything stupid.

This time she raised her voice: “The bitch you just washed your nasty ass for!”

“
Your language is hardly becoming. Did you learn that in school, too?” I was being spiteful to get her out of the bathroom with me. Grabbing a pair of jeans from the suitcase, I slipped them on under the towel. Instantly, I felt safer without my balls swinging freely.

“
You forgot to put on some drawers,” she snidely remarked.

I chose to ignore this comment. The quicker I got out of there, the better I would feel. “There is nothing more to talk about, Felicia. When you’re ready to see things my way, call me. Until then, I’m out.” I slammed down the lid to my suitcase and grabbed it by the handle.

She jumped up off the seat allowing her robe to open. It revealed a glimpse of the skimpy outfit she was wearing. A feeling of shame came over me. I was so hell-bent on what I wanted, I didn’t even notice what she was wearing.

“
She must be fucking you good because you haven’t looked my way for the past two years!”

“
You are being ridiculous now. It hasn’t been that long.” I knew it had been a minute, but I refused to believe it had been two years.

“
Am I? When was the last time we had sex?”

I could not answer her since I didn’t rightly remember, but I didn’t want to think about it any longer. I just needed to get out of there before we both said something else that we would live to regret. “I’m about to go. Where are the papers?”

“
There are no fucking papers you blockhead. I just made up that story so you would bring your sorry ass home to give me some dick!”

“
You lied to me?” I was flabbergasted. In all the years that we had been together, I don’t think she had ever outright lied to me.

She simply stood there like I was the one that was sprouting nonsense.

The walls of the room seemed like they were closing in on me. Suddenly I needed some air. Guilt had consumed me. All the broken promises, late-night excuses, and lies had come crashing down on me, causing me to strike out at Felicia. “You’re a silly little bitch. How dare you waste my fucking time like this, acting like a tramp?” I pushed pass her and headed for the door. As I went down the stairs, I half expected her to follow me. Instead she yelled down the steps:

“
So what is it? You fucking those dogs now or something?”

Her words made me stop in my tracks. If she had spit on me, it wouldn’t have hurt as bad as that accusation. Squaring my shoulders, I turned around to face her for the last time. She was leaning over the banister, looking down on me.