Duplicity (10 page)

As usual, unable to find her own words, she drew on someone
else’s.
“ ‘I
get paid to make men believe what
they want to believe.’ ”

Trey narrowed his eyes, and Lilith swore for a moment he was going
to call her on her line. “So what you’ll have me believe is that every minute
you’ve spent with me—when you laughed, when you listened—every single thing was
an act.”

Lilith had to turn away. She felt sick to her stomach, like she
was going throw up any second. “I’m not saying you aren’t the coolest client
I’ve ever had—”

“No, tell me.” She heard the rustle as he got to his feet, and
before she could react, he was in front of her, his hands on her shoulders.
“Look at me.”

She couldn’t.

“Look at me.” His tone was gentle, but no less a command.

She looked at him.

“Tell me to my face. Look me in the eye, and tell me you don’t
enjoy my company.” He paused. “You’re right, Lilith. I’m a very smart man. I
know there’s some bravado to what you do, but until you say the words, right
now, to my face, I will not believe we get along because you’re being paid.”

Lilith opened her mouth.

Tell him it was all a lie.
Every minute.
Just tell him.

It would hurt him, but he would understand. Maybe all of this
would be over, but maybe that was a good thing, a better thing.

Lilith closed her mouth. Her throat was so dry. It was difficult
to think over the
thud, thud,
thud
of her heart
pounding in her ears.

When she opened her mouth, for the first time in recent memory,
she found she couldn’t lie. “I like you,” she whispered. There was almost no
volume to her voice.

A small smile tugged at the edge of his lips, as though he was
fighting a much broader grin. “Well,
good
. I like you,
too. Now don’t you think it’s permissible for two people who like each other to
have a meal together?”

For three long, heavy seconds, she glared at him, though she was
well aware there couldn’t be much heat behind the look. Huffing out a breath,
she nodded once.
“Fine.
You’re a fucking bully, but
fine.
Just not today.”
There was no way she was going
out in these clothes, and she wasn’t going to let him see her apartment.
Besides, she needed to regroup. She was sick of the way
this man made her so damn bewildered. Lilith thrived on what little of her life
she could control, and he was not making it easy.

He pressed his lips together. “Yes, I’m a mean, mean person.
Suggesting lunch is so deviant.”

Lilith rolled her eyes.
“Just text me.
We’ll eat. Sometime.”

So smooth, Lilith.

She couldn’t get out of his apartment fast enough.

Chapter 12

This is crazy
.

Hands on her hips, Lilith looked at her bed. It was covered in
just about every outfit she owned.

Lilith wasn’t the kind of girl who cared about fashion. She
doubted she would have been able to figure out what was considered sexy if
Smith and the other girls hadn’t taught her. More than that, it was very rare
for Lilith to think about her body at all. She looked in the mirror when she
needed to straighten something, but it was a perfunctory glance at best. As
long as what she was wearing fit and wasn’t too full of holes, she wore it.
Period.

So why the hell she was so conflicted about her outfit, she didn’t
know. It wasn’t as though there was a wide range of choices. She had jeans in
various colors and T-shirts. She should have known without having to stare at
everything she owned, she wasn’t going to come up with something so impressive
out of nowhere.

Why was she noticing things like how frayed her jeans were? Her shirts
were shapeless for the most part.
And wrinkled.
Everything was wrinkled. It had never bothered her before—why did it bother her
now?

Get a grip.

“Uh.
Whoa. What happened in here?” Dana asked, walking into the room.

“Nothing.”
Lilith was in motion the second she heard her friend’s voice. She started to
pick everything up. “I was trying to find this shirt.”

Dana paused, looking around. “Did you find it?”

“No.”

“Well, if you’re going to give up the search anyway, let’s go out
tonight.” She shoved over some of the clothes so she could sit on the bed, her
legs crossed. “We can have dinner and see a movie.”

For a second, Lilith was relieved and excited. This was a good
excuse. Dana was more
important .
 . .

No.

Trey had goaded her about this. He had outright told her she was
going to come up with some excuse to get out of it. The insinuation had annoyed
her, but here she was, jumping at her first chance.

She was all kinds of squirrely, and she was driving herself crazy.

“I can’t,” she said, sitting next to her friend with a huff, not
caring that she was rumpling her clothes further. What was one more wrinkle?
“I’m meeting someone.”

“Oh.” Dana looked away, but she couldn’t resist the obvious
question.
“A client?”

“No.”

That caught Dana’s attention. Her head snapped up.
“Really?”
She sat up on her knees, her eyes wide and
excited. “Do you have a date? Is that why you’re tearing the closet apart?”

“It’s not a date!”

“Oh.” She sat back on her haunches. Disappointment turned into
confusion. “Well, okay. If it’s not a date, and it’s not a client, who is it?”

Lilith had never quite understood what the term
raised hackles
meant, but it sure became clear to her then. If she was a cat, her back would
have been arched, her fur standing on end. She was close to hissing. “It’s just
a guy.”

If it were anyone else but Dana, the tone of her voice would have
warned her she was treading on thin ice. “What guy?”

“God-dammit, Dana. He’s just a guy.”

Dana blinked at her, screwing her lips up to one side of her
mouth. “Okay,” she said with a shrug. “I have a few things that would fit you.
If you want.”
She was playing it cool, but Dana was anything
but subtle.

Lilith was rankled. She opened her mouth to snap that there was
nothing wrong with her clothes, but she ended up nodding, remembering some of
the cute things she’d see the other girl wear.
“Fine.”

~0~

One of the things that made Lilith good at what she did was the
fact she didn’t care what people thought. She could strut around in her
birthday suit without a single fuck given. She didn’t care what she looked like
on her back or on her belly or any other way anyone cared to have her.

In the end, she had refused Dana’s offer of borrowed skirts and
fitted shirts. She wasn’t Dana; she couldn’t be Dana. She’d chosen from what she
had as best she could, and there she was.

Fully clothed in the middle of the mall, surrounded by people who
weren’t looking at her, Lilith had never been more aware of her own skin. She
kept looking over her shoulder, getting that creepy-crawly feeling that someone
was watching her.

“Are you trying to make me feel more comfortable?” Lilith’s words
were an accusation as she fell in step behind Trey. She was aware in some part
of her brain she was displacing her irritation and her self-conscious attitude on
him, but she didn’t care.

He slowed down until they were taking equal steps. “What are you
talking about?”

“A mall food court?
Come on. I doubt you’ve ever stepped foot in a McDonald’s, let alone a mall
food court.” She wasn’t sure she appreciated being catered to.

He gave her the side eye and shook his head. “You know
,
even rich teenage boys are still teenage boys.”

“What does that mean?”

“Will and I ate a lot. And we never agreed on anything, of course.
So we’re in the car one day, arguing about where to eat, and my mom got sick of
it. She pulled in here, gave us both twenty bucks and told us to go nuts.” He
winked at her. “So seeing as I have no idea what your tastes are, I figured
this was the easiest way to find out.”

He looked so pleased with himself, Lilith couldn’t help but laugh.
“You’re like a Bond villain, telling me your evil plan before you can carry it
through.”

His expression was sardonic as he looked over at her. “Yes, it is
so very nefarious of me to want to know what you like to eat. How dare I?” He
made a shooing motion. “Go on, then. Go find something to eat. I’ll be over at
the Mongolian Grill.”

Lilith meandered away, her hands wrapped around her arms. She
found the nearest line and joined it, looking across the way at Trey instead of
at the menu.

There was something very wrong with this picture. It was like
those children’s puzzles where there would be random things out of place—a
picture hung upside down or something like that. She was having trouble
figuring out what was off. After all, it wasn’t as though she’d never been
here, so it couldn’t be her who was so “one of these things is not like the
other.”

When she made her way to the table where Trey was already sitting,
Lilith was determined to shake off the oppressive feeling. Par for the course,
it seemed like Trey had different plans. He started in with his questions right
away.

It should have been comforting. If Trey was barging ahead with his
questions, maybe she wasn’t coming off as spastic as she felt.

Or maybe Trey’s considerate act was just that: an act. As she’d
told him, it wasn’t unusual for men to imagine they were somewhere else, with
someone else. Maybe being there with her, no costumes or pretenses, he’d let
his guard down.

Maybe this was the real him—inconsiderate of her discomfort.

Lilith regained some of her sense of bravado. It didn’t matter
that she wasn’t in skimpy clothes; she still knew her lines. She had answers to
all his questions.
Besides, he seemed to be asking all the inane things
today: her favorite color, her favorite foods. Why he cared, she couldn’t
fathom, but he didn’t look bored.

They lingered. Trey bought them cookies for dessert. Despite the
familiar territory, Lilith found she couldn’t relax. Her eyes darted
everywhere, though what she was looking for, she couldn’t say. At times, it
felt as though the hair on the back of her neck was standing up.

When Trey got to his feet, she was more than a little relieved.

“Why don’t we walk around? Maybe window shop a bit.” He waggled
his eyebrows at her. “Or maybe we can go crazy and shop for real.”

Lilith had to work to keep the dismay out of her voice. “You want
to shop?”

He looked at her in that assessing way of his. “I’m not averse to
it.” He cocked his head. “You want to go home, don’t you?”

“Your house is fine.”

For a second, it looked as though he was going to argue. Instead,
he nodded. “Okay. Let’s go then.”

Maybe it was Lilith’s imagination, but the car ride seemed tense.
She wondered if Trey was annoyed at her and found
herself
irritated at the thought. This was what he’d wanted. This was her,
unadulterated. If he expected her to act a certain way, then he knew how to get
his wish.

Why was he wasting their time with this?

“You know what? I’m going to get going,” she said when they pulled
into his parking space.

Trey leaned over the steering wheel a little as he looked at her.
There was a hint of incredulity to his expression, but it faded to grudging
acceptance. “I’ll take you.”

“No.” The word came out sharper than she intended. “That’s fine. I
can take a cab.” She put her hand on the door and started to get out.

“
Agh
.”
Trey caught her by the arm. When she turned back, the look on his face was
startling. It was a sad, frustrated look. His eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes
sharp, and his lips pressed into a thin line.

“What is your issue?” Lilith tried to yank her arm back, but he
didn’t let go.

He didn’t answer right away, but the ire in his expression faded,
leaving him looking very tired. When she tugged again, he let her arm slip out
of his grip, and he sighed. “It’s just me, Lilith.” His tone was even, quiet
when he spoke.

“What?” She didn’t understand what that was supposed to mean.

“It’s just me.” He shifted in his seat so he could face her.
“Whatever it is you’re trying to hide from me? You don’t have to.”

“I’m not hiding anything.” Her words were hard, but her voice
shook. Chills ran down her spine. Right then, there was nothing she wanted more
than to be out of this car. “I’ve got to go.” She got the door open that time,
but he was over to her side in a heartbeat.

“Lilith.” He reached out for her, but she twisted away.

“What do you want from me now?”

Indecision flitted across his face for a split second before he
charged ahead. “Whatever you’ve got going on, I can handle it. What is it? Do
you have a kid at home?”

“What? No.” She turned away from him, wrapping her arms around
herself as she started to walk away again.

“It’s obvious you don’t want me at your place, but I’m telling
you, I can’t think of anything that would scare me away.”

Lilith whirled and glared at him. “What is wrong with you? All I
said
is
I have to go. There’s nothing else going on
here. I don’t know what you think—”

“Then let me take you home.”

“What?”

“If there’s nothing wrong, then let me take you home. You don’t
even have to invite me in. Just let me drive you there.”

“All I said
is
I don’t need a damn ride,
and that makes you think I have some kind of drama going on?”

“No.” His tone was intense, and she felt as though she could feel
the weight of his gaze on her. “I think something’s going on with you because
you lie to me constantly.”

Lilith froze, her back going ramrod straight. She turned back to
him. “What?” Her tone was low, her mind blank. She wasn’t at all sure what she
was supposed to be feeling.

It was obvious from the look on his face he’d said more than he
wanted.

“Don’t stop now,” she said through gritted teeth. “Tell me what
you mean.”

His shoulders slumped, but when he spoke, his voice was clear and steady.
“When you told me why you do what you do for a living—it was from a song. I
recognized it.”

Lilith’s stomach dropped right down to her toes. She said nothing.
She was too afraid she was going to throw up.

“Everything you say, all the answers to my questions, are from a
song or a movie or a book. I recognized most of them.”

It
shouldn’t have surprised her. How often had he identified the pop culture
references sprinkled throughout her conversation? She should have guessed he
could tell when she was giving him answers from fiction rather than her own
life.

For long seconds, Lilith couldn’t breathe, but right on the heels
of panic was fury. She inhaled, clenching her fists at her side.
“So what?”

His hands dropped to his sides, palms out—open and imploring. “
So .
 . . I want to know your real story.”

She was silent.

Trey took a cautious step forward and then another until he was
standing right next to her. As much as she wanted to, Lilith couldn’t move. Her
head was spinning, and her heart was racing. The closer he got, the more her
shoulders hunched inward. She ducked her head, angling her body away from him.