Dust (14 page)

She turned around, the smile dying on her face. "What? Of course I like it."

"You don't have to lie to me, Liv."

She walked up to me and squeezed my arms. "Hey. What's wrong?"

I shook her loose and stepped back. The shocked look on her face hurt almost as much as her dismissal of my work.

"
Killian
. I like it. I like all of your work. You have no idea how proud I am of you. I am your biggest fan, and I will bitch slap anyone who tries to say otherwise. I want to stand and stare at each piece all afternoon, but you're not here for me. You have people to meet and a professor's ass to kiss. This event isn't about me, sweetie. It's about you."

I shut my eyes and released my hands. Shit, I was being ridiculous. It must've been the stress of the show. That didn't help my suddenly guilty conscience. I sighed when I looked at her. "I'm sorry, firecracker," I breathed, but I knew that wasn't enough. I had to explain with words what I'd hoped my art would tell instead. "This is the one I was working on when we met. I just finished it last week. It might not be an image of anything specific but it's the only piece I have that I started before meeting you but finished after. For that reason alone, it's the most important piece to me."

Her gaze softened, and she pulled me into a hug. "I can't believe that hideous looking blood-splattered painting turned into this beautiful piece."

A shocked laugh escaped me, and I clutched her to me. She was an amazing woman. I'd practically chewed her head off and instead of cowering away from the ferocious animal, she'd batted me like an annoying fly. She probably didn't even know she hadn't flinched. But I'd noticed. She'd come a long way with her reactions since we'd met. She wasn't the only one feeling pride right now. "So I'm forgiven for being a big baby?"

"Hmmm...I don't know. Maybe you could take me to the graduation party the JPS is throwing."

I groaned. Sneaky little woman. "You know I hate parties."

"That's not how you grovel, mister."

"What about finals?" I hedged. I knew she was finished with all her major assignments, and this showing was my last one before graduation, but that didn't mean we didn't have some tests remaining. It was a pathetic attempt at staying away from the chaos, but I wasn't ashamed to use it.

"Killian Ashley, it's a graduation party, and you're
graduating
."

"Fine. We'll go the stupid party," I whined playfully. If she wanted to go, I'd have gone anyway. I just liked seeing my firecracker explode every now and then.

She quickly lifted up on her toes and kissed me. "Now get back to work."

"You can be bossy when you wanna be," I grumbled.

"Baby, I can be a lot a things." She winked before turning out of my arms and twitching her little ass away from me.

My mouth fell open, shocked she'd played up an innuendo. When I closed it, I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning, but that didn't keep me from staying back and watching her body sway. It was mesmerizing. And seriously hot.

Hell, yeah, I watched.

T
he music was loud
, and there were people everywhere. A couple of months ago, I would've either been looking for a quiet place to hide or trying to get outside for fresh air without coming into contact with anybody. I would've been doing my best to avoid a panic attack...and losing miserably. This wasn't a guess. It was fact based on years of precedence. But tonight I felt neither fear nor anxiety. This wasn't my first college party, but it was the first time in my life where I felt free to absorb the experience, rather than run screaming from it. Okay, maybe not screaming—hyperventilating. Equally embarrassing.

"Told you the skirt would work," Jewel screamed into my ear. I glanced down at the frayed jean material that barely fell to mid-thigh. I'd paired it with riding boots because I knew I'd be on my feet all night. I was going to wear pants, but Jewel had put her foot down. No, literally. There had been stomping involved. I'd have laughed at the temper tantrum if I hadn't been the cause of it.

"Yes, you're a fashion genius," I mocked. She stuck her tongue out at me. So this was female bonding. I kinda dug it. "When's Gabe coming?" I yelled. Jeez, my throat was going to be sore tomorrow.

"Should be here any minute."

I watched as Kill made his way toward me. "Here's your beer," he said into my ear. He was stating the obvious, and I would've cracked some smart-ass remark, but his lips brushed my lobe. He could recite the alphabet to me, and I wouldn't care as long as his mouth was on me while doing so. I'd save the fun snark for later.

"Thanks."

He put his arm around me and pulled me against his side. I had to stop myself from melting into him like I wanted.

Jewel grinned like the Cheshire cat, watching us. "You two are just so cute."

I glared at her. This was another requirement for female bonding—giving the evil eye when your friend embarrasses you.

"She's beautiful, not cute," Killian said and kissed my hair. He had a thing for it. Before we started our exploration, he'd touch it every now and then, but now? He was always running his fingers through it, kissing it, even smelling it. I was pretty sure sniffing wasn't an official part of relationship development, but at least he seemed to like what he was inhaling. One day, he'd been sitting in the cafeteria. I hugged him from the back before taking my seat and tried this sniffing thing. The result? A hair went up my nose and made me sneeze. He'd smelled good, but it wasn't worth the risk of getting snot on him, so no way was I attempting
that
again. I either lacked the finesse or it was a guy thing. Either one was entirely possible.

"Aww, that's so cute."

"You said that," I said, cutting my gaze to her.

"Oh lighten up. Drink your beer." She waived her hand dismissively, but then jumped. "He's here!"

I looked to the side and watched as Gabe approached. Killian stiffened beside me, so I rubbed his back.

"Hey there, beautiful." He kissed Jewel, then took her hand into his before facing us. "How's the happy couple?"

Jewel gave him arm a warning tug, and he chuckled. Killian squeezed me tighter. Ugh, I guess this was also part of female bonding—putting up with macho guys. Yes, guys. I couldn't call Killian my boyfriend since we weren't putting labels on what we had.

"We're good," I said before Killian could fire off a retort.

Gabe looked at me when I replied, and he continued to stare. It made me a little uncomfortable. I wasn't sure what Jewel saw in him. Yes, he was cute, but he kinda gave me the creeps. Of course that could be Killian's opinion of him coming out through me. Gabe's eyes narrowed slightly. "Do you
like
living in Arkansas?" he asked slowly, yet loudly enough for me to hear him.

I shrugged. "Yeah, it's nice."

"Louisiana's better." Before coming here, I would have disagreed. Now, I was glad I hadn't fought with my mom on the transfer. This state still held a lot of bad things, but if I hadn't come here, I wouldn't have met Jewel...or Killian.

"Well of course it is now. I'm here."

Gabe laughed. Killian rubbed my back. I glanced at him, but he hadn't taken his eyes off Gabe since he'd walked up.

"You mean now that you're back?" He raised an eyebrow at me. My breathing sped. How did he know I used to live here? Did Jewel tell him? We hadn't talked much about my past, but I probably mentioned living here before. I glanced at her, but she was frowning at Gabe.

"What?" I asked. Maybe if I pretended not to hear or understand, he'd drop it. Now I was grateful for the blaring music.

"You lived here before, right?"

Shit
. No such luck. "Yeah." I took a sip of my beer and tried to figure out a way to change the subject.

"I want to dance," Jewel said, smiling up at Gabe. It didn't seem sincere. It was a diversion tactic, which I appreciated greatly.

He looked down at her. "Woo-hoo. Come to papa." He pulled her away, and she gave me a timid smile over her shoulder. She seemed a little confused, but I didn't understand why. Maybe she was just worried about why I shut down after Gabe brought up a seemingly innocent topic. I knew I could trust Jewel. Maybe it was time to confide in her more about my past.

Killian finally relaxed beside me and pulled me into his arms. "Let's go upstairs where we can talk without having to yell." He looked at me for my answer, and I nodded. The conversation with Gabe left me a little frazzled and my throat was already getting scratchy from the yelling just to be heard. He took a drink of his beer while grabbing my hand with his free one. Then he led me up the stairs. We passed several rooms with open doors, filled with many people, and some with doors closed with a shirt or bra hanging on the knob... hopefully
not
filled with many people. After testing a few knobs, he found one that'd open. He flipped on the light as we stepped in. After watching him shut and lock the door, I turned to look inside the room.

A bedroom.

That we were now both locked in. Alone.

"This okay?" His voice sounded hollow, but I wasn't sure if it was because of my nerves, his nerves, or just my ears trying to adjust to the more appropriate decibel level.

"Yes," I squeaked. I cleared my throat. He flashed a smile at me and guided me to the bed.
Hello, butterflies
. I tried to ignore them as I sat. He played with my fingers.

"You ready for finals?"

Hmm... He must have been as nervous as I was. He’d asked me that same question today at lunch. Knowing he was just as affected help settled some of my uneasiness. In fact, this was the first time we'd been alone together like this. My heart started racing, and I licked my suddenly dry lips. His eyes followed the movement. There were other things I wanted to do besides talk. I leaned toward him. His eyes flashed wider when he realized I was going to kiss him. We'd kissed a lot, but never on a bed.

My lips landed on his, and he moaned softly. God, this man tasted good! I could lick him all over. The thought of that made me groan and kiss him harder. I'd never gone down on a guy before. I wondered if he'd be open to letting me experiment.

He broke away from the kiss, panting. When did we end up horizontal? Since I was partially on top of him, I guess I was the one who made it happen. I bit my lip as I looked at him.

"I don't want you to think I brought you up here to make out," he said with a hint of guilt. "I was just looking for someplace quiet."

I smiled at him. "You were very successful in finding someplace private for us." I leaned in closer. "Can we keep going a little?"

His pupils dilated. He gave me a jerky nod. "Say the word and it stops. Always, firecracker. You never have to worry about that with me."

Without responding, I dove in for another kiss. He opened for me as soon as my tongue teased his lips. Feeling his tongue massage mine sent sparks straight to my core. I eased my knee over his leg and rubbed it as we kept kissing. Within seconds, he had his arms around me, his hands squeezing my back while I practically humped his leg. But god, it felt so good! I rubbed his chest and broke away from the kiss to catch my breath, but that didn't slow him down any. He kissed a path to my neck, licking and gently sucking the skin he encountered. I pressed myself fully against him. My skirt had ridden up and I could feel his jeans-clad thigh rub against my wet panties. I gasped at the sensation, and his hand trailed down my back to grip my ass, encouraging me to rub myself against him. I should be embarrassed by how turned on I was, but I couldn't muster the dignity to care.

I wanted to touch him. The brief encounter my hand had with his penis in the woods hadn't counted. That had been an accident. I didn't want there to be any doubt of my intent now. My hand slid down his chest, over his belt, and found his hard bulge. I squeezed.

"Oh fuck," he groaned into my ear as his hips left the bed, forcing him more into my hand.

"You're so hard," I breathed in awe. I moved my hand all over it, squeezing, feeling, experimenting.

"Shit, Liv, I know you're not trying to talk dirty, but if you keep saying stuff like that, I'm going to blow, baby."

"Do you like to talk dirty?" I asked brazenly. I wasn't sure where that had come from. Maybe it was part of the learning experience. But it had been a major turn-on when he swore in my ear earlier.

He grabbed my hair and forced my mouth onto his instead of answering. Fine by me. We kissed fervently while I continued my ministrations. Every once in a while his hips would lift a little before he could stop himself. I assumed by that his actions were involuntary. It made me want to feel him without the barrier of clothing to see if he'd respond the same. It was a heady feeling knowing I was the cause. I eased my hand away from him, and he slowed his kiss. He probably thought I was ready to stop.

Far from it.

I pushed my hand underneath his waistband. He gasped my name as I fumbled to get inside his underwear and immediately brushed against something damp. I moaned as I wrapped my fingers around his dick. It was hard, but soft on the outside. I wanted to touch all of it, but as I tried moving my hand around within his clothes, I discovered how limited my room was. I groaned in frustration. But then I felt Kill move, slide his arm out from underneath me, and grab his belt.

He was unbuckling it. Yes! I slammed my mouth down on his while he worked his belt and snaps. I felt him shove at his clothes and then he was free. I broke away from the kiss to look down at my hand around his penis. I stroked him as I watched, mesmerized.

"Liv," Killian breathed. I looked at him, and he tangled a hand in my hair. "I'm gonna come if you keep doing that. I'm having a hard time not doing it just knowing it's you who's touching me."

I looked back down. There was a stream of fluid leaking from the tip. I wanted to taste it. Without another thought, I shifted toward his crotch and bent over him. He clutched my hair, stopping me.

"Shit, Liv. If you suck my cock, I'm going to lose it."

"I just want to taste it," I breathed, keeping my eye on the prize. He loosened his grip, and I dropped lower, letting my tongue slip out. I barely licked, and he hissed. I let the flavor linger in my mouth, enjoying the salty taste. I dropped again and inhaled as I went. His scent consumed me, and I finally understood what all the sniffing was about. His natural scent was an aphrodisiac. I wanted more. I was taking more. I opened my mouth and sucked the whole head.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Killian chanted, clenching my hair so hard it stung, but his response only fueled my desire. He tasted so good. I'd only wanted a little lick, but now that I had him in my mouth, I didn't want to stop.

I wasn't going to. Not unless he ripped my hair out trying to get my mouth off him. I sucked him deeper and wrapped my free hand around him to stroke. It was an impulse, but one that seemed right by the tightening of his body. My head bobbed. My hand explored. My pussy clenched, ached. I went faster. Impulse. It was all some ingrained instinct.

"Oh, shit, baby...baby, you've gotta stop, or I 'll shoot down your throat." His hips were moving now, thrusting his cock into my mouth as I sucked it. He didn't want to stop. He was saying that for my benefit, I realized that. I shook my head to quell his worried protest and doubled my efforts. He groaned low and fisted my hair. His back bowed, and the sound he made morphed into a shout as the first splash of his release landed on my tongue. I sucked harder and swallowed what I could until I had to pull away to breathe. I watched as the last two jets squirted into the air and onto his belly and my hand. I continued to rub, his cum slicking it up more. He groaned, but I couldn't stop to look at his face. I leaned forward and sucked the last little bit that slipped out. He flinched, so I stopped and looked at him, startled that I'd done something wrong.

"It's sensitive there after I come."

"Oh." I slowly released him, though I didn't want to.

He sat up, yanked both of his shirts off, and freed his undershirt from the tangle. He used it to wipe my hands, his belly, and finally his penis. It wasn't as hard, but still look engorged. He touched my face, and I looked at him. He had this look of such wonder that it stole the air from my lungs. He kissed me softly as he gently caressed my cheek. He eased me down to the bed but didn't increase the intensity of his mouth loving mine.

He pulled away slowly, his eyes darting back and forth as he looked into each of my mine. "I want to touch you. I don't want to scare you though. It was hard controlling myself just now, but I can. I
will
. Can I, firecracker? Can I touch you?"

I knew if I said no, he wouldn't push it, but I wanted him. God, I wanted him to touch me everywhere. I bit my lip and nodded.

He leaned in again and kissed me, a little more passionately than before, but not as heatedly as earlier. He was giving me a taste of his passion while keeping himself in check. Then I felt his hand on my breast and whimpered, lifting my head to deepen the kiss. He squeezed gently before moving his hand away. No! I didn't want him to stop. I started to protest, but felt his hand slide in the low V-cut top and into my bra, effectively silencing the beg that was on my lips. His touch was gentle, yet rough. He palmed my breast and then tweaked my nipple. I gasped into his mouth as fluid flooded my core. I squeezed my legs together, needing to ease the building ache. I must've made a noise because he lifted up.