Echoes of the Heart (9 page)

‘You’re being melodramatic. I’m not trying to control you. I’m proposing a simple contract. You being in my bed is an arrangement for our mutual benefit.’ He suppressed the sudden, disturbing thought that he wanted her back in his life and not just in his bed. He refused to acknowledge any misplaced feelings for her because she wasn’t worthy of them.

The play of emotions on her face was easy to read. He saw the inner struggle—her need to agree versing her desire to defy him and throw his offer back in his face. She seemed to search his face for any hint that she could talk him out of his proposal. If she hoped to appeal to his softer side she was wasting her time. After what she’d done to him he would not make this easy on her—would not let her prick at his conscience.

‘Why?’ she finally scraped out. The single syllable was heavy with misery. ‘Why would you do this to me?’

‘Because I want you back in my bed,’ Jake told her.

‘You’re prepared to force me into your bed?’ she asked incredulously.

‘Force?’ he questioned with a slight laugh. ‘We both know there’d be no force needed.’

Amanda’s heart squeezed in hopelessness as she watched his eyes darken for a moment.

‘You want me and you want money.’ He shrugged. ‘It’s the perfect deal for you. Why hesitate?’

‘You’re blackmailing me!’

His body stiffened and his mouth twisted sardonically. ‘You stand to gain in more ways than one.’

The conviction in his voice told her he wouldn’t negotiate. She visualised her life crashing into a million pieces around her. It was as though she was facing a dark mine shaft. If she entered, a brick wall would be erected behind her, trapping her in the darkness forever. Cold and alone. She stifled a sob. She’d just found her freedom from Lloyd, she couldn’t let herself be controlled again. But what choice did she have?

He picked up a pen and moved it idly between his fingers. ‘I’d say it’s a win-win deal, Amanda. Although the amount you want is more than I originally had in mind, and probably far more than you’re actually worth.’

‘Please —’

‘What’s wrong? The whole of Sydney knows you let Bennett buy you for life. All I want is one month.’

Every cruel word was like a knife wound to her heart.

‘I can’t.’

His features set hard. ‘It’s a little late in the day to pretend to go all moral on me, sweetheart.’

The knife twisted. The pain was so excruciating, the wound so profound, she thought she’d bleed to death.

Jake was the devil, and she was dealing with him.

Would she sell her soul to him?

She closed her eyes tight and knew the answer in an agonising heartbeat. With a sense of helplessness, she thought back to her conversation with the doctor just a few days ago.

‘How much is this new treatment going to cost?’ she’d asked the doctor nervously.

‘It’s expensive, Mrs Bennett, but all the clinical trials have shown positive benefits.’

Amanda’s heart plummeted. ‘Just how expensive?’

‘Well, it’s not listed by the government on the National Drug List, but I’m sure, before long —’

‘How much?’ she pushed.

She’d held her breath awaiting his reply—sure she wasn’t going to like his response. She was right. The weekly cost for the drug treatment was astronomical—totally out of reach on the pittance she earned from her casual jobs. Living frugally, she just made ends meet. How could she find the necessary money?

The new drug provided hope. Without that faint thread to cling to, the future was bleak.

Her feet still ached because she’d trudged unsuccessfully from one business to the next in search of a better job to replace all her casual work. None of the banks would consider lending her the money she needed until she had permanent employment. That left her with only one choice.

Jake.

She dreaded seeing Jake again and having to ask him for a job, but there was no other solution. Jake was in charge of a business empire. Surely he’d be able to put her secretarial skills to use in some capacity? It had taken her days to pluck up the courage to face him. Despite having his business card in her possession, she’d half expected to be turned away from his office. She hadn’t expected him to resort to blackmail to get her into his bed.

‘Well?’ His question cut into her thoughts.

Swallowing hard, she scanned his handsome face for any sign of compassion and saw none. All she saw was strength of purpose and resolve to bend her to his indomitable will. Inside, she was screaming. He was forcing her down a path she didn’t want to travel, but she needed that money. Desperately.

‘I’m a busy man, Amanda. Make up your mind, but know that if you walk out that door without accepting my offer, there’ll be no second chance.’

No second chance.

He didn’t know just how accurate that statement was. If she didn’t get the money there would be no second chance. This drug treatment was the last opportunity.

He glanced impatiently at his watch, and his action reminded her there was no time for pride. No time to regret what had happened between them. No time, full stop.

She bit down so hard on her lip she tasted blood.

‘Take it or leave it,’ he stated succinctly, dropping the pen on to his desk and leaning back in his chair as he waited for her reply.

Tears pricked her eyes. He wanted her to sell herself to him—to become the high-class call girl he’d accused her of being. Should she tell him why she needed the money and appeal to his better nature?

Did he have a better nature?

‘I barely know who you are anymore.’ She’d whispered the words because they weren’t for him. But he heard her.

‘I’m the same man.’

‘No. You’re different.’ She shook her head in bewilderment. ‘At least, the side you showed to me at Whale Beach was different. The man you were then treated me with more kindness and thoughtfulness than any other person I’ve ever met.’

‘And you proved you didn’t deserve my kindness or thoughtfulness,’ came the swift rebuttal as he stood and moved to look out of the window

‘I don’t deserve the way you’re treating me now.’

He swung around, his movement angry. ‘You married Bennett.’ It was a cold, hard statement.

‘Oh, stop talking as though you care about that. All my marriage to Lloyd did was prick your pride. You and I didn’t ever have a future together!’ Frustration bit deep. ‘I thought I knew you, but I didn’t. I had no idea what you were capable of. I still don’t. Jake Formosa, corporate executive, is a hard and ruthless stranger to me. A man capable of using blackmail to force a woman into having sex with him is definitely a man I can’t trust.’

‘Yet, you came to me for help.’

‘Proving I misjudged you yet again.’

Jake took a step toward her. ‘Just one month, Amanda.’ His rich voice slid over her raw nerves like an exotic balm. ‘One month and your debts will be paid.’

Shifting further back into the chair she felt like a mouse cornered by a cobra that was poised to strike.

‘One month?’ she squeaked. Was it really such a lengthy time frame to endure? She’d lived as Lloyd’s wife for two years.

Yes, but not as his lover.

Jake’s eyes didn’t stray from hers. ‘Thirty days and thirty nights.’

‘Please reconsider,’ she begged.

‘Not a chance.’ Every word was curt.

‘You can’t treat me like this!’

‘It’s up to you, Amanda.’ He gave an elegant shrug. ‘I’ve stated my terms.’

Backed into a corner, her heart sank. Jake was her only hope.

‘I’ll hate you if you do this to me.’

‘I assure you, you’ll enjoy hating every second,’ he said with a mocking smile.

A shiver passed through her. His words were both a threat and a promise.

Dark eyes raked over her. He tilted his head slightly as though he was inspecting a piece of merchandise he was about to buy. ‘When was the last time you had a decent meal?’

The unexpected question jarred.

‘I beg your pardon?’ she asked with indignation.

‘You’re way too thin. When did you last eat properly?’

Too thin?
Even in her defeat she was outraged. Of course she was too thin. All the stress. All the worry.

‘I’m sorry I don’t meet with your high standards,’ she shot at him caustically. ‘Are you withdrawing your offer now?’

‘No.’ A single decisive word, then he walked away from her toward his desk. ‘Did you drive here?’

What did that matter?

She shook her head. ‘I can’t afford a car.’

He ignored her response, picked up a pen and wrote briskly on a piece of paper before he came back beside her. ‘I’ll organise a car and driver for you. You’re to go and see this friend of mine,’ he handed her the paper. ‘Then —’

She studied the name on the paper. ‘A doctor?’

‘You don’t look well,’ he said with no evidence of compassion.

‘I —’

‘Save it,’ he interrupted, his hand slicing through the air in a gesture of impatience. ‘I’m not spending a month in bed with a woman who’s so run-down she can barely stand up.’

‘You bastard!’ she spluttered, rendered incredulous at his impersonal treatment in such a highly personal situation.

He ignored her distress. ‘You’ll have a thorough medical examination, then my driver will take you to your home to collect whatever you need. From there, you’ll go to a health resort in the Blue Mountains for two weeks.’

Her lips parted in outrage. She expelled a breath of disbelief. ‘You want to send me to some fattening farm?’

‘God knows, you need it!’

‘No way!’ She jumped up from the chair and faced him with defiance even though the sudden movement made her light-headed. ‘This isn’t what I agreed to. You can’t dictate every detail of my life!’

‘For now, I can and I will.’ His voice was cool and controlled. ‘I’m not paying an exorbitant amount of money to have sex with a bag of bones.’

The insulting words slashed what little self-esteem she had left, but she still burned with anger. ‘If you’re only interested in bedding a woman who’s a perfect ten then why the hell are you so intent on me?’

His brow furrowed and he seemed to weigh up her words.

‘Won’t it be easier to get me out of your system if I am so very physically less than perfect?’ she goaded.

He glared at her. ‘You should be grateful. Staying at a health resort will benefit you.’ He picked up a paperweight from his desk and turned it over in his hands before replacing it. ‘And the reason I still want you is because you left me before I was ready to let you go. And now, I’m going to make you regret leaving.’

Amanda’s mouth grew dry. Part of her did regret leaving. She’d never forgotten Jake’s passion as a lover. Unwanted images of his naked, bronzed body, joined with hers in a mass of tangled limbs and sheets, assailed her. The anger drained away.

‘You told me a month. This stay in the Blue Mountains stretches it to six weeks,’ she protested.

His eyes narrowed. ‘Trying to strike a better deal?’

Tears burnt her eyes like hot cinders. Without warning, two teardrops spilled from each eye and rolled silently down her cheeks.

He walked over to her and reached out to touch his right index finger to stop a tear in its tracks.

‘Tears, Amanda?’ His voice was sardonic. ‘You’re in a situation of your own making. Don’t act like a martyr and pretend you’re anything but eager to share my bed.’

‘You’re really enjoying making me feel cheap!’ Her chest heaved as she drew in each breath.

He tilted his head and lifted one eyebrow. ‘I wouldn’t call your services cheap. Divide the sum you’re requesting into a daily rate and you’ll see how richly you’re being compensated. You’ll have to work day and night to make it worth my while.’

A strangled sob escaped her and she clutched the arm of the chair for support as each word scored deep into her heart.

‘Did I misunderstand you?’ he taunted, mocking her anguish. ‘Are you offering to become my lover free of charge? No strings attached?’

When had he become so callous? Summoning her hurt and gathering it like a shield, she stared at him mutinously and fought back. ‘If I had a choice, I’d walk out of here and never set eyes on you again.’

‘You do have a choice,’ he said coolly. ‘Just like you had a choice when you married Bennett.’

She closed her eyes. Instantly, she saw her Aunt Irene. Irene was a brave, uncomplaining woman, but she was losing the battle and the light was fading from her eyes. It pained Amanda to see Irene’s vibrancy and energy ebbing away. It frustrated her that such a formerly active woman was confined to a wheelchair, dependent on others to provide the most basic daily care. Aunt Irene needed the new medication. Her physical abilities had deteriorated markedly over the last twelve months, her body ravaged by an eight-year battle with Multiple Sclerosis.

By accepting Jake’s terms, Amanda would have the means to give Irene access to the new drug treatment. Any chance the treatment would halt or slow the progress of the disease would be worth whatever price Amanda had to pay.

Amanda had already paid a high personal cost when she sold herself to Lloyd in marriage. The week after she’d returned from her stay at Whale Beach, Irene’s doctors had declared she was deteriorating faster than they had expected and it was time for her to move into a nursing home. Having nowhere else to turn, Amanda had decided that despite everything, she would approach Jake and ask him to lend her the money. When she’d called his mobile phone and Sophie Hamilton had answered and told Amanda he was in the shower, Amanda had been too destroyed to go through with speaking to him.

Lloyd had found her crying at her desk. Out of her mind with her misery, she’d poured out the whole predicament to her boss. Lloyd had stepped in immediately. He realised the wait for care in the public system was too long and that Amanda couldn’t afford to keep her aunt in the private system. He offered Amanda a choice. If Amanda agreed to become his bride, he would use his influence to secure a place for Irene in the very best private nursing facility available in Sydney and he would pay all her costs.

Desperate to help her aunt, heartbroken and disillusioned after her failed romance with Jake, Amanda agreed to the terms of the marriage.