Echoes of the Heart (13 page)

Irene looked fragile. Tubes from a drip were splinted to her arm. Leads were hooked into machines to monitor her breathing.

‘Amanda?’ Irene’s eyes fluttered open.

‘I’m here, Aunt Irene.’ Amanda leant closer.

Her aunt sent her a weary, but amused smile. ‘I can see…that,’ she said in faint, jerky speech. ‘I’m not…prone…to…hallucin…ations.’

Amanda smiled. Her aunt still had her sense of humour.

Irene’s faded blue eyes skimmed over her. ‘You look…better. I…was…worried…’bout you.’

‘There’s nothing to worry about.’

Irene had a coughing fit, and Amanda put her arm around her to sit her forward.

‘You should rest now.’ She arranged her aunt back against the pillows and kissed her pale cheek. ‘I’m here.’

‘You go…home. You rest. See you tomorrow.’ Irene’s eyelids closed again. Within seconds she appeared to be asleep. Even talking exhausted her. The Multiple Sclerosis had severely limited her respiration, making breath control difficult during speech.

‘She’s right,’ Jake said quietly from the doorway. ‘You need to rest.’

The nurse who’d first shown them to Irene’s room appeared at the doorway beside Jake. ‘Visiting hours are over, Mrs Bennett, Mr Formosa. You’ll have to leave now.’

‘But —’ Amanda began to protest.

‘Your aunt isn’t critical,’ the sister continued. ‘She’s sleeping, and we’ll call you if there’s any change.’

Jake walked toward Amanda and placed his hands on her shoulders. ‘The nurse is right. You’re exhausted.

‘I just think I —’

‘You’ll be no good to Irene if you’re run down.’

His voice was gentle but commanding and she realised there was no room for negotiation.

‘The hospital has my home and mobile numbers so you can be contacted if you’re needed.’

His numbers? Surely he didn’t expect her to become his lover under the circumstances. ‘Jake, I —’

‘Don’t argue, just come with me,’ he insisted.

She cast a worried glance at her aunt, then at the nurse who was busy checking a chart.

Jake reached out and enveloped her cold hand into the warmth of his. ‘Irene is settled, but you’re freezing.’

Not for long, she thought as he brushed his lips over hers. Instant heat engulfed her, stirring her whole body to alertness.

The kiss was probably meant to be comforting, but if she were hooked up to any electrical monitors, the nurses would call some sort of code. Medical staff would run from everywhere to see why her pulse was haywire and peaking off the charts. Jake’s presence in the same room made her heart thump more erratically but his kisses made her heart perform calisthenics in her chest.

Jake secured his arm around her waist.

‘I don’t want to leave her,’ she told him in anguished tones.

‘Mrs Bennett, your aunt is stable,’ the nurse said firmly. ‘The medication I’m about to give her in her new drip will ensure she sleeps peacefully throughout the night.’

‘We’ll return early in the morning,’ Jake said.

Outvoted, Amanda added her mumbled goodbyes to the nurse as Jake led her out of the room and to the lift. As much as she wanted to be with her aunt, she did see the sense in having a decent night’s sleep. Her eyes flew to Jake as they entered the lift and the doors slid closed. What did he intend?

‘What’s wrong, Amanda?’

There was concern on his handsome face, compassion for what she was going through. Her heart tightened. She couldn’t cope with this—this taste of how things could be between them if they had a future together. Her heart plummeted to ground level faster than the lift.

‘You don’t have to drive me home. I’ll get a taxi.’

His dark eyes zeroed in on hers. ‘I don’t think you should be alone tonight.’

‘I…I…’

‘I’m not suggesting you sleep with me, but I do want you to come back to my place where I can be there for you if you need me.’

His broad shoulders lifted in a shrug. ‘I don’t want you to be by yourself, worrying about your aunt.’

She was confused. Was he thinking of his needs or hers?

‘I can’t come with you.’ She searched for an excuse. ‘I’ve got nothing with me.’

‘Your luggage has already been taken to my home,’ he dismissed.

‘I have nothing suitable. I packed for the tropics.’

‘Okay,’ he conceded. ‘We’ll pick up some warmer gear from your place, but then you come with me. No arguments.’

She hesitated for a few moments. The strain of the day was taking its toll. Exhaustion pervaded her body and all she wanted to do was sleep so she could build up her energy reserves to be with Irene again tomorrow. It seemed Jake understood that and wouldn’t force her to share his bed. That was surely a sign that he cared and that he respected her enough to give her space in this crisis? She should be pleased. Relieved. Yet part of her longed to lean on him, to lose herself physically in him so she could escape her concern about Irene. If only she could be held within his arms through the night as his partner rather than as his paid, temporary lover. Feeling the first prick of tears sting at her eyes, she pulled herself up sharply. This consideration from Jake only proved he wasn’t a completely unfeeling human. It was not an indication that she should repeat her mistake and begin to weave foolish romantic dreams about her. They were still worlds apart and always would be.

‘I’ll come with you,’ she finally agreed.

Settled in the limousine, she gave Jake her address then watched his brows draw together in a fierce frown. Even in the dimly lit interior of the car she could see his face darken menacingly. She shrank back a little into the luxurious leather seat and waited for the storm to break.

‘You live in King’s Cross?’ Jake thundered.

What the hell was Amanda doing living in Sydney’s seedy, red-light district?

The smile she sent him was caustic. ‘I guess you think that’s an appropriate location for me.’

His lips pressed together tightly with his disapproval. The closer they got to Amanda’s address, the angrier he became. The footpaths were full of punks with their coloured, spiked hair and leather jackets. In the doorways of buildings, hookers were scantily clad despite the cool weather. Most of them were probably drugged up to the eyeballs and didn’t feel the cold.

‘This is where you live?’ he asked in disbelief as they pulled up outside a building that looked like it probably should have been condemned years ago. It was located right next door to a methadone clinic.

‘We can’t all be billionaires,’ she stated wearily, opening the door before the chauffeur had a chance to.

‘Why didn’t you move in with Middleton?’ he demanded, angry that her lover should have abandoned her to this residence. ‘Does he know you live here?’

The fire was back in her eyes as she rounded on him. ‘I will say this only once again, as you are obviously too thick to have taken it in the first time, or the second or third time. Hugh and I have never been lovers. He was Lloyd’s lawyer and my friend. At no time has he suggested becoming my lover, nor have I ever encouraged that.’ With that declaration, she walked briskly away from him.

Yes, she and Middleton had both denied having an affair. It had been hard to believe because of Bennett’s suicide note, but Jake believed it now. Middleton seemed too decent a guy to have left Amanda living in this neighbourhood. This begged the questions as to why Bennett wrote the suicide note and why he killed himself. There had to be another reason.

Jake pushed that thought to the back of his mind. He was appalled as he followed Amanda out on to the street and up a narrow set of stairs. This was a far cry from the luxury of Bennett’s Vaucluse mansion. She really had been doing it tough.

They reached a landing and had to step around a male youth who reeked of alcohol and sat clutching a bottle in a brown paper bag. Another level up and Amanda stopped, took a key from her bag and opened a door to reveal a dingy-looking, cramped bed-sit.

‘Welcome to my humble abode,’ she announced defiantly. Not looking at him, she went to an old cupboard. As soon as she opened the door, it swung on one hinge.

Jake stood in stunned silence as she removed several items of clothing and stuffed them into a shopping bag with angry movements. He found it difficult to believe this was where Amanda had been living since Bennett’s funeral. Paint peeled off the walls. Somewhere from a room above them, a man yelled profanities and a female screeched back at him. In a nearby street, a police siren wailed.

His heart clenched in outrage. She would not return here. In the morning he’d have someone come to collect the rest of her gear and move it to his home. It wouldn’t take long. Apart from her clothing and a couple of photos, it appeared she had very few possessions.

His steps faltered slightly as he registered he was determined to take charge of her life. To protect her.

Why?

The question taunted him and he gritted his teeth together. It was nothing personal—just a matter of basic human decency, he assured himself. Once, he’d loved this woman enough that he would have made her his wife. No matter what Amanda had done, no matter that she’d never been worthy of his love—she was vulnerable now and there was nobody else to look after her while she got through Irene’s health crisis.

***

Amanda was half-aware that the limousine had turned off the road. The car stopped. She opened her eyes sleepily and realised the driver was waiting while two tall, wrought iron gates swung open electronically. The tyres crunched over the crushed rock of the circular driveway as they moved forward again.

She was in Jake’s arms. He’d pulled her against him and told her to relax as soon as they got back into the car. Being in his arms was like coming home. The last thing she remembered was driving north from King’s Cross and across the Harbour Bridge.

Aware she should be fighting against the physical contact, she sighed. She couldn’t fight at the moment—she was too wrung out. Just for now she wanted to forget that he was buying her for a month and pretend he cared. In his strong arms she felt safe. Secure. A large part of her was relieved he’d taken charge. She’d coped by herself for too long and it was incredible to have someone to lean on.

Looking up from Jake’s chest she was struck by the impressive two-storey sandstone mansion. It was a grand, stately structure with a high, pitched roof and dormer windows. Old federation-style lamps edged the driveway to reveal well-manicured lawns and beautiful gardens. It was a picture of wealth. Incredible wealth. Jake’s home was far grander than Lloyd’s mansion, yet she didn’t feel intimidated here like she had at Lloyd’s house. For all its grandeur, this place was welcoming.

‘Let me help you out.’ Jake’s deep voice made her pulse trip.

The chauffeur opened the car door. Jake got out first. No sooner had Amanda’s feet hit the driveway than she was swept up into Jake’s arms.

‘I can walk,’ she protested half-heartedly.

‘You’re dead on your feet,’ he replied. ‘Humour me.’

Marbled pillars added to the majesty of the entryway, and a sparkling chandelier hung from a high ceiling, but the surroundings weren’t important. She was more intent on breathing in the unique masculine scent of Jake as he carried her up the magnificent, sweeping staircase to the upper storey.

Carrying her as if she weighed nothing at all, he stopped, turned, and swung open a door to reveal the most sumptuous bedroom she’d ever seen. Creams, gold and light browns blended together perfectly, creating an impression of peaceful opulence.

Jake entered, opened another door, and placed her gently to her feet on the marble floor of an
en suite
. He walked to a large, sunken spa bath and turned on the taps.

‘I know you’re exhausted, but I’m sure you’ll sleep better after a warm bath,’ he told her.

She stared at him. Was this the same man who’d treated her with such contempt?

‘I think you’ll find everything you need in here. If not, my bedroom is just across the hall.’

He really didn’t intend to share her bed tonight?

Her body stiffened in protest. She needed to be cocooned once more in the warm strength of his embrace to forget that Irene lay ill in a hospital bed attached to beeping monitors.

He walked toward the
en suite
door. ‘I’ll see you in the morning.’

‘Don’t leave me,’ she blurted.

He turned slowly and looked at her with a shuttered expression.

Heat rose to her cheeks. ‘I…I don’t want to be alone.’

‘Amanda,’ his tone was a warning. ‘I —’

‘Please, Jake,’ she implored him. ‘Hold me.’

Indecision hovered on his features as he hesitated. Then, he moved back to the spa and turned off the taps. At last he took a step towards her and she met him halfway. His arms wrapped firmly around her. She closed her eyes and buried her head into his chest, taking solace in the warm breadth and strength of him. Nothing felt more right than being held by him. It was as though the last couple of years had been wiped out. As though Lloyd Bennett and Sophie Hamilton had never come between them.

Releasing her hair clips, he threaded his fingers through her hair in a soothing action. A tremor of pleasure ran through her at his touch.

‘You’re exhausted,’ he acknowledged. ‘I don’t expect —’

‘Stay with me,’ she begged, reaching her arms up around his neck. ‘I’m so empty. I need to feel again.’

She couldn’t let him go. Not now. It would be the worst form of torture to lie across the hall from him when she wanted him so much. She’d tried to tell herself she didn’t want him when he’d been so contemptuous, but things had changed. Today, he’d been kind and considerate—just like the man she’d fallen in love with. Today, she’d drifted completely back under his spell, forgetting that he could morph into a cold monster who’d cut her with his words. It was impossible to remain immune to him when he comforted her like this. She wanted to reach inside to the man who was showing her compassion and nurture him, banishing the hardness of his heart forever.

She pulled herself up, realising she didn’t have the power to do that. She knew she couldn’t delude herself that she meant something special to him. The caring he’d shown today wasn’t a permanent change. This wasn’t about love. This was about need. Jake wanted her, and she needed him. He’d already clearly declared his intention to put her firmly from his life.