Echoes of the Heart (11 page)

The next instant, his expression grew serious, business-like. There was no trace of any of the intimacy they’d just shared. ‘I’m due back in a meeting.’ He flicked a glance at his watch, dismissing her as he would a secretary who’d just finished taking dictation. ‘You can stay here until you compose yourself.’

How was she supposed to react now?

‘I suggest you work on your fitness in the next fortnight, Amanda. I expect to get my money’s worth.’

Cruel. His words were cutting and impersonal. This was a deal to him. It was all about what he would get for his money. She was just a body. A body he was buying.

She hung her head, but resisted the urge to cover her face with her hands as his parting blow made tears well in her eyes.

‘One month of fabulous, mind blowing sex, then—
finally
—I’ll forget you ever existed, Amanda. This time, you’ll be hooked and I’ll walk away leaving you in an agony of withdrawal.’

Could she go through with this?

Two weeks later, alone in an exclusive, private departure lounge at Sydney’s Mascot airport, Amanda paced back and forth. She fought the urge to chew upon her short, newly manicured fingernails. Instead, she wiped at the fine line of perspiration beading her forehead. The combination of apprehension and anticipation caused her adrenal system to work overtime.

No other man had touched her heart like Jake. He’d carved his name into it, then carelessly broken it. A month as his lover would be both heaven and hell. She wasn’t sure she could endure it.

Over the last fortnight she’d tried to forget the way he’d pleasured her in his office and had racked her brains for an alternative to her financial problem, but there was no eleventh hour solution. It was crunch time. She had to go through with this deal.

She tried to focus on the bustle of activity around a nearby commercial jet so she could forget why she was here. Baggage trolleys whizzed past. Catering trucks unloaded their supplies and a pilot examined the aircraft tyres and undercarriage. Everyone went about their routine business—completely unaware of the earth-shattering events that were about to take place in Amanda’s life when she became Jake’s lover once again.

‘Good morning, Amanda.’

Jake’s voice was way too close. She took in a swift, startled breath and turned to face him. The subtle fragrance of his aftershave had her mind spinning into chaos. It was fresh, tangy and very masculine.

‘Jake,’ she acknowledged and was instantly annoyed by the breathy quality of her voice.

Dressed casually in an open-necked white shirt and denim jeans, Jake looked more like a male model than a high-powered media magnate. At first glance, he seemed relaxed. On closer inspection, she saw alertness in the dark eyes. This man probably wouldn’t miss anything, even in his sleep.

His posture, every movement he made, broadcast he was all alpha male—at ease with and in control of any situation he might encounter. Part of her admired that and part of her resented it. His control was a stark contrast to the way she felt about her life.

Her nerves were as tightly coiled as the hair she’d twisted into a French roll. The white, long-sleeved blouse she’d chosen was buttoned up to the collar, and her long black skirt and knee-high black boots covered as much flesh as possible. She must look like a virgin from the Victorian era, but better that than what he was paying her to be.

‘I’m glad you’re here.’ His voice was like a seductive spell. It curled around her, weakening her defences.

Her pulse went haywire. ‘You left me with no choice.’

His lips twisted with derision. ‘There are always choices.’

I don’t have a choice
! She wanted to scream at him. But she couldn’t defend herself without revealing way too much about her needs, and possibly her marriage.

‘This is your last chance to turn around,’ he warned. ‘There’ll be no backing out once you’re on my plane.’

His plane
. Her mind still boggled at the extent of his fortune. She’d received a message that they’d spend their first week together at his private island in the Whitsunday passage. She hadn’t even known he had a private island, but then Jake had it all. Incredible looks, loads of money and talent. He’d been born to wealth, but she’d read that the worth of the Formosa Corporation had more than doubled under his direction. Business analysts dubbed him the man with the Midas touch.

It was true. When he’d first touched her, she’d felt as precious as gold. Now she knew it was fool’s gold.

His eyes caressed her body and her blood temperature soared close to boiling point.

‘Do I pass inspection?’ she queried in a tight voice.

‘You look much better than you did two weeks ago,’ he said appreciatively.

‘I’m glad you think you’ve got some return on your investment.’ She couldn’t prevent her sarcasm.

A wicked smile curved his lips. ‘I haven’t even begun to reap dividends yet, sweetheart, but I will.’

The heat of a blush swept up her neck and right to her hairline. Avoiding his eyes, she studied her hands. ‘Two weeks at that exclusive fattening farm with endless health and beauty treatments would make Attila the Hun look attractive,’ she said with disgust.

His rich laugh made her look up and she found herself drinking in the attractiveness of his features. He was too damned good-looking for her peace of mind. Frissons of excitement bubbled through her. Against her will, her nipples firmed into hard peaks of awareness and need. No! She had to resist him. But it was almost impossible when she remembered just how much laughter and happiness they’d once shared. They’d been so close. It had been very easy to communicate with him then.

No. They hadn’t communicated—at least not honestly. Everything they’d shared had been built on a lie because she hadn’t known he’d intended to marry Sophie.

‘Being primped and preened for your pleasure is not my idea of fun,’ she snapped.

He reached out and captured a tendril of the hair that had escaped from the confines of her French roll. He looked entranced. ‘Your hair is as soft and silky as I remember—like spun gold. A couple of weeks ago it looked like straw.’

‘Gee, thanks!’ She wrenched away from his touch, and ordered her silly heart not to react to his backhanded compliment. ‘Straw into spun gold—maybe they should rename their health retreat
Rumplestiltskin’s
!’

Again, his rich laughter resounded through the room and struck a chord in her heart. How she wished they could share laughter again. For now, she was agitated.

‘Why don’t you admit I’ve done you a favour?’ he pressed.

A favour? No amount of pampering could lighten the heaviness of her heart. Couldn’t he see the despair in her eyes?

‘My appearance might’ve changed, but my stay in the Blue Mountains hasn’t changed the way I feel about you.’

The despicable man looked satisfied.

His voice was throaty. ‘Good. I still burn for you, too.’

‘You’re arrogant beyond belief!’ she retorted. ‘I don’t know why I was ever attracted to you.’

‘The chemistry between us is powerful.’ His eyes burnt into hers. ‘It made me lose my head over you.’

She did a double-take. She didn’t believe for a second that he’d lost his head, but she had lost her heart. Their brief stint had been destructive to her well-being, while he seemed to be immune to all the fall-out.

His eyes hardened. ‘I’ve always wondered. Were you hoping to trap me into marriage the way you trapped Bennett?’

‘I didn’t trap Lloyd into marriage,’ she said tightly. ‘And if I was truly a gold-digger, why didn’t I stick around with you? You probably earn more in an hour than Lloyd would have in a year.’

His lips twisted. ‘I imagine you lost your nerve. Perhaps you realised you were treading water that was way too deep and playing a dangerous game with me. Maybe you were in over your head and realised you wouldn’t stand up under my father’s scrutiny.’

He was partly right. Although she hadn’t been playing any games by plunging headfirst into their affair, she was carried along by the dangerous rip of his charm, and was all at sea before she could recover her breath. Way out of her depth, with no life buoy in sight and every indication that the ocean would only grow stormier.

The gold flecks in his eyes sparked. ‘Instead, Bennett’s money bought you.’

His words stung.

‘Like your money is buying me now?’ she asked bitterly.

The solid frame of his body stiffened with tension. ‘I’ve never paid for sex before in my life.’

‘Why start now?’ she taunted.

Apprehensively she watched his hands tighten at his sides. Had she pushed him too far? He seemed to be fighting some inner battle. Was he having second thoughts about the agreement he’d forced her into?

‘You’re like a disease I have to purge from my system.’

A disease?
My God! She nearly staggered. ‘Wow, another one of your compliments! It’s no wonder you have to pay for sex.’

‘Paying for you reminds me you’re a mercenary call-girl who’s always available to the highest bidder,’ he threw at her contemptuously.

‘You’re turning me into one,’ she whispered with regret. His words were like talons ripping at her heart. They tore. She bled.

A momentary look of regret crossed his features. ‘Hell, Amanda. I don’t much like what you’re turning me into, either,’ he confessed raggedly. ‘This isn’t the way I usually do things. It isn’t the way I speak to people or treat people, but you bring out the worst in me. I can’t forgive or forget that you left my bed and shared Bennett’s for the money.’

Amanda flinched. Jake was way off base. She’d never prostituted herself for Lloyd.

Lloyd wanted marriage without sex.

Jake wanted sex without marriage.

‘You’re wrong.’ She felt her resentment radiate from her body. She ached to throw the truth of her marriage into his face, but she had to consider Irene. ‘But you’ve forced me to sell myself to you and I will never forgive you for it.’

‘You put yourself up for sale,’ he bit out. ‘Don’t pretend you don’t want to share my bed.’

‘I came to you for a job, Jake. Honest work for an honest day’s pay.’

‘And here you are undertaking a profession as old as time itself.’

‘You’re the devil. You’re taking advantage of my desperation. You used me back then, and you’re still using me now.’

‘
I used you?
’ His features hardened in outraged anger. ‘You were the one who used me. As I recall you told me you wanted to get rid of your virginity. Don’t try to turn this back onto me. There’s no way you’ll succeed in making me feel as though I’m the guilty party here.’

‘Keep telling yourself you’re blameless. It might make it easier for you to sleep at night,’ she snapped.

‘Oh, I intend to sleep really well. There’s nothing that relaxes me at the end of the day like satisfying sex, and I know sex with you will be highly satisfying.’

‘You think so?’ she asked angrily.

‘I know so. It galls me to admit it, sweetheart, but I get hard just thinking about what we shared together. That’s why I’m doing this. I’m getting you out of my system.’

‘What you’re doing is destroying anything that was ever remotely good between us.’

‘Good?’ His laugh was bitter. ‘The only thing remotely good between us was sex. All the rest was lies.’

‘And there’s the truth of it.’ She would not cry at his hard summation of their relationship. Anger would be her salvation. ‘You lied to me every time you looked at me as if I was something special. You built me up, just to send me crashing down.’

One hand reached out and clasped her wrist. ‘I don’t know what you’re playing at, but —’

‘Playing?’ she injected resentfully. ‘I don’t think so. You’ve turned me into a working girl, remember?’

‘Oh, I remember what you are.’ His voice was harsh. ‘So, don’t expect me to shower you in champagne and roses.’

‘I don’t,’ she said through tight lips. ‘I’m immune to your charm now. I know you’re a two-timing bastard.’

From the runway, engines roared as a commercial passenger jet took off. A baggage trolley whizzed past the window of the lounge. All the surrounding activity dimmed as his eyes held hers, as though he was trying to see into the depths of her soul.

‘You truly believe I was cheating on you with Sophie?’

‘Of course I believe it,’ she replied, anger punctuating every syllable.

His jaws clamped together again. A small muscle ticked in his cheek and his grip tightened on her wrist. ‘I don’t owe you any explanations but I do owe Sophie my loyalty so I will not discuss my relationship with her. She remains one of my closest friends.’ He released her wrist and warned, ‘So leave her out of this, Amanda.’

‘Like you did when you took me to your bed?’

‘Drop it,’ he advised, his words laced with steel.

‘No!’ she exclaimed, furious at his double standards. ‘You know nothing about my marriage to Lloyd, but you’re determined to make judgements —’

‘You married a man old enough to be your father,’ he recounted coldly. ‘You fell pregnant to trap him into marriage, then you had a string of affairs.’

She pulled her eyes away from his wishing she could refute Lloyd’s false claims.

Jake shook his head. ‘I almost feel sorry for Bennett. Knowing you were with other men must have driven him crazy.’

She rallied. ‘You’re judging me by your standards,’ she flung back. ‘How many affairs did you have during your six month marriage before your wife finally got sick of your infidelity and decided to divorce you?’

Jake ground his teeth together. ‘There was never any infidelity in my marriage. Not by Sophie and not by me. I never took another woman to bed during my marriage, but there was one woman who came between me and my wife. You stopped me from being the husband Sophie deserved.’

‘She found out about your affair with me?’

He ignored her question. ‘My marriage was nothing like yours,’ he said. ‘And stop trying to pretend you’re innocent. Bennett must’ve had proof of your affairs to kill himself.’

A flush spread over her cheeks. Her chest rose and fell in indignant outrage.

‘I’m not proud about my need for you, Amanda. At the end of the month—maybe even earlier—I would have assuaged my need for you and be ready to move on while you languish in a despair of sleepless nights, haunted by the passion we’ve shared. That will be justice.’