Envisioning Hope (21 page)

Read Envisioning Hope Online

Authors: Tracy Lee

"Ollie…"

"Yes?"
he responded almost immediately.

"I
trust you," I whispered. He brought his face down and pressed a gentle
kiss against my lips before he stood back up.

His
hands moved against the skin of my stomach and I reveled in the feeling.
Everything he was doing, every touch, felt right and I wasn't about to turn
that away. I wanted it just as much as he did.

Suddenly,
I realized I was standing there in nothing but my panties for him to view and,
yet, I couldn't see anything. I quickly became apprehensive. He must've noticed
because I felt him grab my hand, I gently pulled back a bit. "No, please
don't do that," Oliver said as he put my hand up against his stomach. His
muscles tensed under my touch and I ran my hand down, feeling each bump that
was indented. "I see you with my eyes, you see me with your hands. Touch
me, Hope." I could feel the heat in my cheeks at his words. I felt like a
school girl again when it came to her first time. I was a cluster of emotions.

"God,
you're breathtaking," Oliver said as he ran one single finger down the
middle of my chest.

I
raised my other hand up and put both on his shoulders, digging my fingers in
nervously. I raised my head and offered him a silent apology as I started my
way down. My hands hit his chest and his pectoral muscles tensed as I slowly
passed over them.

"You
are so beautiful," I whispered as I continued feeling every inch of him. There
were places I wanted to stop at and just stay but my mind kept pleading with me
to continue. "Everything I am belongs to you," he breathed against
the skin of my neck as he placed his lips against my ear. Oliver began to
slowly lean me back. I felt the bed hit the middle of my knees and knew I wasn't
going to fall. I followed his lead.

It
didn't matter that I couldn't see him, I sensed everything he felt for me in
his touch and that's all I needed. Yet, he made sure I was alright with what
was happening. As we landed on the bed, Oliver immediately flipped over so as
not to crush me. I dropped my head to his forehead and felt his warm breath on
my face for a moment.

"You
sure about this?" Ollie asked and it hit me that there was nothing more
that I wanted than to be right here in this moment, with him doing exactly what
we were doing. "Never been more sure," I said as I placed a kiss
against his lips. I grabbed his hands and raised them above us, interlocking
our fingers as our kiss deepened. I never wanted this moment to end. Ollie was
showing me what I needed to see that made this life worth living. My heart was
beating, my blood was flowing, and my body was on fire. All that meant that I
was alive and I was able to continue on with not only the love that I felt for
Charlie but the love I felt for Oliver.

And,
it was okay. It was good to love again.

My
thoughts cleared and it was then I felt Ollie inside of me, slowly moving,
tightening under me as he moved tenderly. I clenched my eyes shut harder and
dug my nails in his shoulders as he continued deeper.

"Ollie…"
I breathed.

I
missed feeling this feeling. His tender touches showed me how much he wanted to
be here with me as well.

"I
love the way you feel against me," Oliver declared as he pushed my hair away
from my face. I ran my lips down the side of his face, allowing my senses to
explore. His taste sat on my lips as I ran them down the side of his neck,
laying kisses against his skin, showing him that my emotions ran deep for him
as well. I felt his low moan vibrate in his throat which made me smile. His
movements suddenly became quicker as he pushed against me a bit rougher.

My
breathing became faster as I began to move with him. I couldn't stand the
thought of him pulling away. "Ollie…" I yelled as he rocked against
me one last time "Oh God… Hope," he moaned and pushed his head into
my neck. After a moment, Oliver turned his head and placed his lips to my neck.

"Tell
me this won't be the only time we do this," Ollie said. I let out a little
giggle as he laid his head back against the pillow.

"You
have ten minutes…"

 

 

Chapter 20

 

One
Year Later

 

"Honey,
hurry up, they're going to be here any minute."

I
heard Ollie's voice yell up at me from the bottom of the stairs so I felt
around for the tube of shiny lip gloss I had him lay out for me. I hurried to
drench my lips in it before heading downstairs.

"Almost
done," I yelled back, letting him know that I was fine and didn't need his
help. I could do this on my own.

I
heard the car pull up in the drive and several doors slam shut. I knew they
were here. I scooted the makeup table's chair back and stood up, sliding my
heels on before counting the steps to the stair rail.

"Hurry,
they're just coming up to the door," Ollie said excitingly as I heard the
Christmas music playing in the living room that was off of the entryway.

"Okay,
I'm coming…I'm coming." I laughed as I counted the steps down into the
finely decorated entry. I could smell the pine of the tree that sat so
majestically across from the fireplace. Just as I stepped down onto the main
floor, Ollie reached out his hand and took mine, pulling me gently into him. At
that very moment, the doorbell rang.

"You're
just like a kid…I swear." I giggled as I laid a kiss on his lips.  Ollie
turned toward me, wrapping my arms around him as he deepened the kiss. Pulling
away slightly, he smiled. "It's Christmas, babe. I'm supposed to act like
a kid so remember that tonight when it's time for me to unwrap my present,"
he joked as he nuzzled against my neck playfully. I broke out into laughter
when I heard the front door open.

"Merry
Christmas!" The group exclaimed all at once.

One
by one, each of them walked up, greeting me by hugging me tight. First was mom,
I could smell her signature perfume that she had worn since she was sixteen.
Her vibrant laugh died down to an almost silent cry as I felt her back vibrate.
I pulled back and put my hand to her face, feeling the wetness that had made a
thin sheet on her cheek. "Mom, I love you," I reassured her with an
honest smile across my face. Her hand came up against my cheek and I finally
heard her speak. "God has given me a miracle, Hope. I have my daughter
back."

I
stopped breathing so that the tears had no choice but to stay away. This was a
happy occasion, I wasn't about to ruin it with tears. I leaned down and placed
a kiss to her cheek with a heartfelt, "I have you, Mom," as I pulled
away.

Faith
followed along with her husband, Rick. I had met him not long after I left the
hospital. It was hard for me when they got married, but I wouldn't have missed
my own sister's wedding for anything. I let my hand fall to Faith's bulging
belly and I felt my niece kick against my hand.

"Love
you, Hope," Faith said through a shaky voice. I knew that tears were being
shed because of what mom and I had just experienced, plus the out of whack
hormones weren't helping the situation.  "Love you, Faith," I said as
I squeezed her hand slightly, allowing her to see that I meant each word as I
felt my cheek become slightly damp.

I
didn't want to do this today.

Dad
was next and he wrapped his arms so tight around me, I wasn't sure if I would
be able to take in another breath. As he pushed me back a bit, I could hear him
take a deep breath but I never heard him release it. "Best Christmas present
I could ask for, standing right here in front of me, darlin'," Dad
confessed and I couldn't hold back anymore. I wrapped my arms back around him
as I whispered just loud enough for him to hear, "I'm so sorry I pushed
you away, Dad."

My
dad ran his hand over the back of my head as he spoke with demand in his voice.
"We won't be having any of that today…tis the season!" he yelled as
he held up a bottle of wine.

I
still had issues with the way I had treated them, but I knew I had to listen to
all of them when they spoke as a way of healing…our family's healing. "I
love you, Dad!" I said through tears that now wouldn't stop flowing.

This
was supposed to be a happy day!

It
was because I was here with my loved ones, old and new, having the opportunity
to share another Christmas together.

Libby
followed with her son, Jacob, hanging onto the bottom of her dress along with
Bobby who carried their newly adopted son, Joshua, in his arms. I immediately
grabbed Joshua away and made sure he got plenty of sugars from Auntie Hope. I
ran my fingers through his soft hair thinking about Sawyer and how I used to do
the same thing to him. Joshua's laugh broke me from my thought and I giggled
back a small childish laugh as I touched my finger to the tip of his nose.

Then
came Ollie's parents. His mom wrapped me up in her arms as she did every time I
saw her and it never got old. She was such a loving and caring woman who
welcomed me into her family the first time I saw her. Ollie's dad handed Ollie
a bottle of wine as he shook his other hand and started their one word greeting
that always brought a smile to my face. "Son," Milo would say in his
deep toned southern accent. Ollie would follow with his response, "Dad."
It always made me laugh on the inside.  One by one, each family member greeted
one another and continued down the line as they made their way into the kitchen
where all of the food was laid out.

 

*
* *

 

We
had eventually moved back into my home and I had, with the help of Libby,
turned it into a place that would be a new home for Ollie and I, but still held
the reminiscence of Charlie and Sawyer. I wasn't about to take them out of
here, I needed to have them around me still, even if they really weren't.

I
was still healing and I think I would be for the rest of my life but I had
never been happier. Ollie had come into my life as a gift from Charlie to
replace what had been ripped away from me and if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't
have been able to go on.

"Who
wants ham?" Oliver's voice resonated within me and the thought of him
brought a smile to my face. I loved him so much and I made sure he knew it
every day.

"Life
has a sense of humor. Don't let it catch you in a practical joke."

A
wise man once taught me this valuable lesson. Unfortunately, I learned the hard
way about life's so called personality, so I made sure that the people I loved
knew exactly how I felt about them.

I
had gone back to work. It was difficult at first, and I have complications
still, but I get through them with determination and a wonderful man helping
me.

Speaking
of a wonderful man… I turned my head around the room as to see if I could pick
up that distinctive voice. He wasn't here yet. I begin to walk into the kitchen
when the doorbell rang.

I
smiled a large smile because I knew exactly who it was. I walked over to the
door to let him in.

"I
was just thinking about you," I said as I leaned against the door.

"Oh yeah? Hope it was good," Glenn replied as I fell into his arms. "You're
late," I whispered in his ear as his arms wrapped tightly around me. "You
know my husband and being on time," I joked with him as I heard his groan.
"I got a good excuse…had to pick me up somethin' sweet at the airport."

My
curiosity was clearly written on my face. I didn't realize someone was with
him.

"And,
who might this someone be?" I asked as I looked around at nothing. "My
name's Lenore. Thank you for having me. Dad, here, has told me so much about
you. I feel like I already know you."

Dad…Glenn,
it was his daughter. Her voice was so feminine and beautiful. Suddenly, my
manners came back in a flash.

"Oh
lord, please come in. I'm so sorry," I apologized as I moved out of their
way. I heard them stomp the snow off their feet before they stepped into the
house right as I felt Ollie step up behind me.
"Glenn… ‘bout time you made it. And what did I tell you about picking up
hitchhikers?" Ollie joked and Lenore laughed a shy giggle as we stood in
the entry. "Please, take your coats off…stay a while," I said as I
reached my hand out.

As
soon as they handed me their coats, I flung them over to Ollie and went in to
hug Lenore. I could smell her shampoo as I laid my head over her shoulder. "I'm
so glad you're here," I whispered in her ear. "Your daddy cannot stop
talking about you." I pulled back but she grabbed my hand and gave it a
light squeeze. I knew she couldn't talk because the tears would fall, so I gave
a squeeze back and welcomed her into our home.

"So…who's
ready for pie?" I asked to break the silence. I didn't want anyone feeling
uncomfortable on such a joyous occasion.

"Pie!"
Oliver laughed. "Honey, we haven't even ate dinner yet," he continued
as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me into the kitchen where deep
voices and laughing could be heard.

The
sounds of family filled my ears. I didn't need eyes to know that this was what
life was all about.

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