Everything He Wants (14 page)

Cold heat prickled all over my skin as my mind went blank. Balancing on the very edge, I was slowly losing my hold on reality. Over my control. On him.

"Kira," Jake exhaled, kissing behind my ear. "Baby, you’re right there, aren’t you?"

I gritted my teeth. Tuned him out.

"Tell me what you want. What do you need, Kira?"

"Please, Master...please, let me..."

"Let you what?" He smiled into my neck. Bit down.

"Ahhhhh."

I clamped my legs shut, but it was too late. Shuddering, I held on to him as wave after wave ran through me. I’d disobeyed his orders. At the last possible second, I let go. And as the aftershocks of my orgasm stole the breath from my lungs, Jake held me up, gently caressing my skin.

"That’s a good girl," he murmured, picking me up before transporting me over to the sofa.

Tears stung at the backs of my eyes, and I didn’t fight it. As Jake cradled me in his arms, I lost it for the second time that evening, releasing everything I had into the room around us.

"Shhh," Jake whispered, stroking my hair. "It’s okay." He brushed a tear from my cheek. "You’re crying."

I buried my face in his chest and refused to open my eyes. "I’m sorry, Master."

He cupped my face and lifted my chin. "Kira, look at me." I did as he asked, and his expression was filled with nothing but concern. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because." I sniffed sharply. "I let go."

"I pushed too far. You remember what I told you about how sometimes boundaries push back?"

"I think so."

"Well, this was one of those times. I know exactly how long you can hold your orgasm back, which isn’t any longer than you did. I was testing you, Kira. You did nothing wrong."

"Then...why have me do it?"

"I wanted to be sure you were training on your own."

I drew in a shaky breath. It was my responsibility to work on furthering my training when he wasn’t home. No matter if I was working in the guest house or sitting right here on the sofa, I was expected to strengthen my Kegels. And I had.

"It’s like any other muscle in your body,"
Jake had said back when we first started the exercise.
"If you stop using it, it will become weak. You’re not going to let this happen, are you?"

"No, Master."

And I hadn’t. By now, it was almost second nature to tighten my Kegels when I was watching television or when I was in the car and we were going somewhere.

"Kira?" Jake drew gentle arcs across my cheek. "You aren’t obsessing over this, are you?"

I averted my gaze. "A little, Master."

"Oh, baby." He held me to him. "I was wrong to push you as far as I did. This wasn’t your fault. I know this and, as a Dom, I should know better than to push you so hard."

"But I’ve been training."

"I know, and I’m so proud of you. But there are limits. Some day you’ll reach the limits I have planned for you, but it takes time. Certainly more time than a few months." He wiped the tears from my eyes and drew me into a kiss. "Can you forgive me?"

I frowned. "Forgive you, Master?"

"Yes. In the beginning, I told you I was in the business of making you nervous, possibly anxious. But I should never scare you, and I hate that I made you cry. I’m sorry, baby."

"It’s okay, Master," I choked, wrapping my arms around him. "I forgive you."

J
ake hadn’t breathed a word to me since we stepped into the restaurant. His body told me even less when he took my coat and checked in with the front desk. Decked out in a suit that must’ve cost more than his entire closet combined, he rolled his shoulders back and held an arm around my waist, almost as though he was expecting me to run away.

It was tempting, especially because he still hadn’t told me why we were here or why he’d put me in a red gown. I was used to his mind games by now, along with his silence, but that was when I was on my knees.

I stiffened when the hostess invited us to follow her back into a booth where we wouldn’t be disturbed—a perk I’m sure Jake paid good money for. Once he'd ordered our drinks, the hostess excused herself and Jake gestured for me to sit down.

He’d slicked his hair back for once, eying me when he sat on the bench across from mine. I smoothed the wrinkles from my gown before fixing the short sleeves so they covered more than my shoulders.

Silverware clattered in the distance as other couples enjoyed their meals, but I couldn’t see them. Partial walls surrounded our booth, and unless I wanted to stand up, the only person I could see was Jake. I half expected him to say something when I met his gaze—certain he’d tell me why we were here when I broke it. But he said nothing.

Looking back on when I first agreed to this life, Jake had assured me he never bought clothing for his subs.
Then what the hell is this?
I played with the collar of my gown, admiring the sweetheart top that was more flattering than anything else.

Other men would probably stare, but it wasn’t as revealing as some of the other outfits I’d seen women wear around Seattle.
Tasteful.
Taste was one thing Jake had an endless supply of, always mindful of what I wore and who we were with.

And even though we’d already arrived at our destination, I had no idea what we were doing here, in a five-star restaurant—in a private room. I chewed at the inside of my cheek, hyperaware of Jake’s eyes on me and his hands resting on the table.

Instinct begged me to look at him, to question why we were here, right now, in this booth. But my habit of submission kept those questions at bay. Digging at the corner of my menu with a fingernail, I wasn’t even sure if I should open it. I wasn’t a picky eater in the least, but I was frugal.

Jake must’ve noticed me fretting and took the menu away from me. "Relax."

His command was direct, but gentle. Stuck somewhere between a lover and my Dom, that single word told me even less than the silent drive over here.

Jake smiled and thanked the waitress when she came back with our drinks. She nodded as he spoke to her in hushed tones, handing our menus over to her before she left again.

I frowned. Looked at him. Gazed back down at the table, hands in my lap.

"Kira..."

I lifted my gaze.

"What’s on your mind?" Jake cocked an eyebrow at me.

I glanced around our small booth, wondering if the waitress would return, but she must’ve known this was a private matter. She was nowhere to be found. "I’m trying to figure out what we’re doing here." I lowered my voice. "Why bring me here? You’ve been so quiet tonight, and it’s making me uncomfortable."

Jake reached across the table, holding his hand palm up and nodded for me to put my hand in his. "Tonight is very special, for a few reasons. However, I don’t want to get into them until after we’ve eaten."

"But why the secrecy? Why...this?" I gestured to the space around us. "You’ve spoken less than a handful of words to me since we left the house. What’s going on?"

Jake sighed and squeezed my hand. "There are no words for what I want to say to you, not accurately that is. I didn’t talk in the car because I honestly don’t know what to say." A smile caressed his face, and he continued. "Do you realize what today is?"

I shook my head.

Jake took a sip of his wine, swishing it over his tongue before swallowing. "My time may be off by a few days, but this is a milestone I haven’t reached with a sub in a very long time."

"I’m sorry?"

"Three months, Kira. Three short months ago, I asked you to give up your business as an escort to sub for me, and with very little hesitation, you did just that." He placed his other hand over mine. "I never expected an answer, and I never thought we’d come this far as quickly as we did. You’ve become a sub any Dom would be proud to have." He held up his hand when I went to speak. "Hear me out. Yes, there are things you still need to learn, and fears you must overcome, but the distance you’ve covered thus far is nothing short of remarkable. And I feel you might be ready for the next step."

"Ready?"

"You’ve learned to wear cuffs without feeling any resentment toward them or myself, even though Dennis may have used them in a negative way. You also have no fear when I cuff you to the Saint Andrew’s Cross, nor when I flog you into oblivion."

I shivered. "But what comes after that?"
What is it you think I’m ready for?

"You’ve seen how Master Devlin plays with Marisa in public. I’d like the opportunity to do the same with you."

"But I thought we did, didn’t we?" I thought back on the night when we watched Master Devlin and Marisa playing at one of the stations inside
The Limelight
. Back then, Jake had played with me and displayed my pussy for all to see.

"That was byplay," Jake explained. "It was a step in the right direction, yes, but we hadn’t set out to do it—it just happened."

"So it doesn’t count?"

"Not for what I have in mind, no." Jake withdrew his hands and sat back as the waitress set plates of foodstuffs between us. He smiled at her, and then she was gone. "I took the liberty of ordering more than two people could possibly eat on their own."

I studied the plates of food, some of which I recognized and others I didn't. There were plates of steak, grilled shrimp, a variety of fish, steamed vegetables and rice. I wrinkled my nose at the fish and stabbed a strip of steak with my fork.

Jake stopped me. "Tonight is a night of trying new things." He passed me a plate of fish and grinned. "It tastes a lot better than it smells, I promise. If I’m going to continue your training, we need to expand your palate first."

"By eating fish?"

"I want to see if you can—if you’re open to trying new things—before we discuss what’s been keeping me so quiet this evening. Now, unless you have an allergy you haven’t told me about..." he trailed off, raising his eyebrows to finish the sentence.

I bowed my head. "No allergies."

"Well then?" He started on the steak, taking sips of wine between bites of red meat and watching me.

He’s training you.

What for?

It’s been three months.

Why would he go to the trouble of praising me on my progress, then challenge it at the same time?

Just shut up and eat your fish.

I glanced down at my plate, and like a five-year-old, I shoved my food from one side to the other.

"Don’t let it get cold," Jake warned, pointing his fork at me. "Doesn’t taste too good when you do."

"They can reheat it," I offered.

"Yes, but having food reheated just because you’re afraid to try something new isn’t going to fix the problem. They could reheat it a thousand times, but if you refuse to eat it..." He shrugged.

Noting the disappointment in his voice, I took a sip of ice water and stared down the plate of fish. I’d had fish before, this was no big deal.
Fish sticks, you mean.
Same thing. It came out of the ocean. It had been cooked.

Expand your palate.
I exhaled and picked up a piece of fish with my fork. Screwing my eyes tight, I dropped it in my mouth, swallowing before I had a chance to chew.

"That’s how you’re going to play, hmm?" Jake asked. "I want you to really taste the next bite. Let it sit on your tongue."

Ignoring the flavor of lemon and rosemary at the back of my throat, I took another bite, doing as Jake asked. At first, all I could taste was the ocean water, but the longer I let it sit, the tangier it got. I decided to chew, surprised when the bite I had in my mouth wasn’t like the fish I’d thought of at all.

The texture was very similar to the steak he had in front of him, but it was also fish. I took another bite, savoring it as much as the last one.

"Looks can be deceiving," Jake said with a smile in his voice. "It’s fish, but the taste and texture are different."

"What is it?"

"Swordfish. It’s a very meaty fish and doesn’t flake nearly as easily as say cod or haddock do. Question is, do you like it?"

I took another bite along with some buttered rice. "It’s okay, I guess."

"You guess?" He crossed his arms over his chest. "Does that mean you’d try it again—be willing to try something new when I ask you to?"

"No slime?"

"No slime."

"I suppose I could be persuaded to try new things every once in a while."

"Good. Finish your meal, then we can talk."

* * * *

S
ometime between dessert and paying for our bill, Jake fell silent again. I figured he was just working up the nerve to talk about whatever he’d been hinting at earlier, but when I looked up to check on him, he didn’t meet my gaze. He didn’t even realize I was watching him until I reached across the table for his hand.

"You're quiet again," I said. "So, the stunt with the fish, you said it had something to do with my training?"

He nodded slowly, then as if he remembered why he brought me here in the first place, he came to life. "Not this week, but late next week, I need to ask you to do me a favor."

I inclined my head. "Anything."

"I just got word from Master Devlin. Marisa’s pregnant."

My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. "Were they...was it planned?"

"I don’t think I understand what you mean."

"I mean...is that something they’d want?"

"Wanting and having are two different things. Regardless of if it was planned or not, Marisa will be retiring from doing demos at
The Limelight.
Devlin, too. They asked me if we’d be willing to fill in while Marisa’s on leave."

Now it was my turn to wake up. "Wait a second. How far along is she?"
Because I sure as hell haven’t noticed anything different.

"A few months I’d imagine."

"And they continue to play?"

"Of course. Why wouldn’t they?"

"Isn’t it dangerous? With her expecting and all?"

Jake frowned. "You've seen them play, right?"

"Of course."

"Have you really, truly watched them?" When I didn't respond, he said, "Has any of Master Devlin's actions ever left you to believe he'd be anything but gentle with her?"