Ex-girl to the Next Girl (23 page)

A
s I packed our clothes for Orlando I was looking around the house to see if I forgot anything. I made a checklist. I had everything I was o excited, but nervous at the same time. I was able to make our reservations online and got a good rate for staying at a Marriott in Grand Lakes Orlando. Everything and everybody was ready except for me. The boys were running around the living room excited about our trip. I felt like I couldn't keep my emotions together. I was happy, then I was sad. I kind of felt like I was marrying the first man that asked me, but I really do love Andrew. However, I still had a little doubt about us. I paused for a few moments thinking everything over until Kevin yelled that Andrew and Cianni were at the door. I guess whatever doubt was in my mind, I had to let go of it.

“You ready.” Andrew asked as he came up and hugged me around my waist.

“Yes, I have to get a few more things together,” I said nervously.

“Are you okay,” he asked studying my face.

“Yeah, I'm fine.”

“You don't look like it! Kim we can't start our marriage off wrong. If we have problems or issues we have to be able to come to each other. We have to be honest. Now tell me what's wrong?”

“I don't know Andrew. I love you but I feel like we are rushing.”

“So, you're not ready to get married or you don't want to marry me?”

“I love you Andrew but I don't want to rush marriage. I want us to get to know each other more. I just don't feel comfortable marrying you after only five months.”

“Okay, Kim that's fine with me, I just want to make you happy. Let's go to Disney World, have fun and plan for a wedding at the end of the year. How does that sound.”

“Great, I love you.” I said as I kissed Andrew and finished packing.

I
called Malik for two hours, but he didn't answer his phone. I had to talk to his ass. I wanted to know why his crazy ex-wife was coming up to my job. How did she know where I worked? How did she know my name? She didn't seem that crazy. Maybe she is not crazy and she is still Malik's wife and he is lying. I have to get in touch with him. I dialed and dialed, but no answer. I finally got Malik on the line. I only had one question for him.

“Malik, are you married?” I blurted out. Malik stumbled over his words, and then said, “Nadine, hear me out. I am married, but—” he stuttered.

“Hear you out? You liar! Why didn't you tell me? You fucking bastard. I don't want to date a married man,” I said as I hung up on him, fuming mad. Malik dialed me back.

“What, Malik?” I said. Malik was still stumbling for words and an explanation. Then he said, “I'm in love with you, Nadine.”

“No, you are not. You are crazy. I don't have time for this. I don't need people coming up to my job, asking me if I'm dealing with their husband. Malik, we are so over,” I yelled as I slammed the phone down in his ear. Malik called back again.

“What, Malik? What can you say to me? I trusted you and you are nothing but a liar. And to top it off, your baby mom and your wife are two different people.”

“Nadine, I was going to explain it all to you.”

“When? When were you going to tell me?” I yelled.

“I swear I was going to tell you, Nadine. I didn't mean to hurt you. I left my wife a long time ago, but she won't give me a divorce. So I didn't want to tell you all that, then tell you about my son's mom. It was just too much. I really liked you and I didn't think you would give me a chance if you knew all that. I swear to you, Nadine. I'm really in love with you. Let me come over there so we can talk. I'm on my way.”

“No, don't bother. I'm good, Malik.” With that, I hung up on him and turned off my ringer. I had heard enough. I don't need Malik, and I definitely don't need no drama. I cried very briefly about Malik, and then I realized the tears I was shedding were not for Malik, but for Erick. I had to try to talk to Erick again. This is going to be my last time. I'm going to put it all on the line. I'm going to say everything I want to say to him. If he don't come back to me, I'm moving on with my life. Me and Malik are over, and I just want my man back. I didn't call Erick's house. I grabbed my handbag, got in my car, and drove over there. The whole ride, all I could think about was what I can say to Erick to get him back, make him understand that I made a mistake, that I love him, that I miss him. I couldn't think of anything that I could say. I was on his block and I saw his car. I called from my cell phone, blocking my number so he would pick up.

“Hello,” he said.

“Erick, I'm outside your door.”

“What are you doing? What do you want, Nadine?” he said, annoyed.

“Just listen, Erick. Please hear me out.”

“Make it quick—I have to do something,” he said.

I wanted to tell him to go to hell for his last comment, but I wasn't going to let pride interfere with me telling Erick how I felt about him.

“Erick, baby, please listen. I love you. I always loved you, I never stopped loving you. We have been apart for all these months, and I thought it would be easy to go on. But it hasn't been. Each day we have been apart I have thought about you or somewhere we'd been. I know I wasn't ready before, but now I am ready to make a serious commitment to you and us. I'm ready for us to be one and start a family. I'm ready to be all you need I don't care about anybody else or who you were dealing with while we were apart.”

Erick hadn't hung up on me yet—that was a good thing. He was listening, so I kept talking.

“Erick, nobody is going to take your place in my life. I was so wrong for breaking up with you, but I was confused. I didn't know what I wanted. But now I definitely know what I want in my life, and it's you. And I understand you are angry with me. Be angry, but don't block me out anymore. Let me back into your life. Stop acting like you don't have feelings for me. Let me back in, Erick. Please stop pushing me away. Let me in, Erick, let me back into your life,” I said as I began banging on his door. I banged and I banged and my phone went dead. Erick hung up. I guess everything I said meant nothing to him. I was still banging on his door, then I stopped and I stood on his steps, crying. He didn't even come to the door. He doesn't love me anymore. I have to move on. I wiped my face on my shirt and began walking down the steps.

Just as I was walking away, I heard Erick's door unlock. I went up to it and turned the knob. The door opened. I couldn't believe it. I walked in and Erick was sitting on the sofa. Tears were running down his face. I walked over to him and hugged him. It felt so good to hold him. I didn't want to stop holding him. I held him so tight. He tried to pull away from my hug, but I wouldn't let him. He then hugged me back. He looked at me and said, “It's okay—stop crying. Nadine, stop crying.”

“I can't stop—I love you, Erick. I love you—please take me back. I don't care about anybody you was dealing with. I just want us to be together again.”

“I don't know, Nadine. I don't know how I can know you might not leave me again. It's been hurting me not to take you back. I didn't want to deal with anybody else. I wanted to get back with you just as much as you wanted to. I just thought we both needed space and time to see if we were right for one another.”

“We are right for one another,” I said. We continued holding each other and just sat talking. Erick told me not to cry and that he wasn't going anywhere. “I love you Erick, so much.”

“I love you, too, Nadine.” After all these months, we were back together, back in each other's arms. And it felt so good.

 

 

Malik kept calling me. I put my house up for sale and moved in with Erick and I also changed my cell phone number. We're getting married next summer. Malik can go call his wife or somebody, or the next girl. I'm back with my man. I learned a lot while we were apart. The biggest lesson being you don't miss your water until your well runs dry.

I
haven't heard from Malik. I think he's staying at Jarrod's house. I did get a message on my phone from the attorney that represents him, asking me to call him back. I didn't bother. I don't have the time to worry about our divorce. For the time being, I was satisfied with having a ghetto divorce. We can take care of the paperwork later. All I have been concentrating on is Ocho.

 

 

Ocho was supposed to be coming home on house arrest, but his attorney advised him that he should just remain in custody. He only had three more weeks before he went to court on the attempted-murder charge. The other assault case was already thrown out. As soon as he got out, he told me, I could quit this job and I could just run his businesses with him. I couldn't wait till he got out. It's been so difficult dealing with him being in jail, Malik cheating, and just not knowing how everything is going to pan out. My daughter hasn't even been home in a few weeks because of all this bullshit.

I went to work and Hicks told me Wilson was about to have a meeting.

“Why?”

“I don't know,” he said, looking concerned.

I followed him and a few other guards into Sergeant Wilson's office. We all remained standing. Wilson came in and said, “We are having this informal meeting tonight because it has been brought to my attention that somehow inmates are getting access to outside food, cigarettes, and a condom was found on Unit E last week. Now, this means somebody is bringing it in. We will find out who it is, because it will not be tolerated. We are starting an investigation into the matter.” The first thing that came to my mind was, could they do a fingerprint? Was it that serious? Hicks was on Unit B tonight, and I didn't want to look suspicious by going up there talking to him. Actually, I knew the best thing for me to do was to stay away from him.

 

 

Today was the first day of court for Ocho. I had been praying for everything to go okay with him. Ocho was on the stand with a crisp black suit on. He was confident and answering all the prosecutor's questions.

“Mr. Johnson, isn't it true that the night before your sister was allegedly raped by Mr. Parker, you attempted to shoot and kill him?” the prosecutor asked.

“No,” Ocho said.

“Well, why does the 7-Eleven have footage of you getting in his car and shooting him?” Gasps were heard all over the courtroom. “You want the court to believe that the attempted murder of Mr. Parker was not premeditated, that you were the victim? But the victim is still here, trying to cope with one eye. Because you tried to kill him, isn't that true?”

“No! That is not true.”

Ocho turned to his attorney and his attorney shouted, “Objection.”

“Order in the court,” the judge said as he banged his gavel on the block. The judge called for recess and said that we would continue tomorrow. I don't know about Ocho—I can't be dealing with a killer. I mean, he didn't kill the dude, but he tried. The drugs is one thing—he said he was stopping that and cleaning his money up.

I snuck in to see Ocho—I had to. I was risking getting caught, things were so tight now. Everybody was looking and snitching. But I had to talk to Ocho.

“Ocho, did you try to kill him?” I asked as I walked up to his cell, looking around.

“Yeah, Shonda, I did—but my man was supposed to pay him off,” he confessed.

“What?”

“He's not supposed to show up. If he comes to court, I'm going to get found guilty. I can't believe this shit,” he said, holding his head down. I didn't know what to say. This shit was crazy and over my head. I couldn't let him do more time—there had to be something I could do.

“Well, where is your friend? I can call him and see what is going on.”

“See if you can talk to him. Tell him I got double that when I get out. Call this number.” He gave me the number and I remembered it.

“He'll know what I mean.” I gave him a quick peck and left his cell.

On my lunch I called the number. “Yo, who this?” the voice said.

“I'm a friend of Ocho—he said to tell you, make sure you don't do that,” I said.

“Yeah, well, tell him I got to do what I got to do. Because his man was supposed to come and see me and make sure I was all right.”

“What you need so you will be all right?” I said, trying to choose my words carefully.

“Ten stacks and I would be good.”
Ten thousand. I didn't have that money,
I thought. I tried to reason with the guy and said, “I don't have ten stacks right now, but Ocho got you when he gets home.”

“Nah, I'm not doing any of that.” Then there was silence.

 

 

The next day the prosecutor called the witness and victim, Mr. Sharif Parker, who took the stand. He pretty much sealed the deal for Ocho. He described in detail that he used to hustle for Ocho—they had an argument and Ocho tried to kill him. He said the next day he went to talk to him to squash everything, and Ocho tried to kill him again.

“That's not what happened, nigga. Don't lie,” Ocho screamed.

“Silence your client,” the judge said.

The rest of the day, the prosecutor kept trying to portray Ocho as this killing, ruthless criminal, and that wasn't true. There was a strong possibility that Ocho was not coming home. I don't know what he was going to do if he got sent upstate. I waited, praying and hoping when the verdict came in.

The juror stood up and said, “We, the jury, find the defendant, Edward “Ocho” Johnson, guilty of attempted murder.” They told Ocho he would be sentenced in thirty days. I broke down in tears. He turned and he looked at me and lip-synched
I love you
as they took him out of the courtroom.

 

 

I reluctantly went in to work the next day after Ocho's trial. I couldn't get myself together. The life that I was hoping and wishing to make with Ocho was not going to happen. I was planning to quit when Ocho got out—I'm glad I didn't. Now that's all I got—this dumb-ass job. I'm going to try to stay here as long as I can. I got to be able to put some money up. I walked in the jail and I went to see where I was reporting today. I saw Angie.

“What's up, girl?” she asked.

“Nothing.”

“Me and you are working Unit C tonight.”

“Okay. Let me go to the bathroom and I'll be right back,” I said.

“Yeah—hurry up, because I got something to tell you.”

“Tell me now,” I said.

“Well, they are pressing charges on Hicks. One of the female inmates is pregnant, and they found out he was bringing things in.”

“Are you serious?” I asked Angie.

“Yup, and he is getting charged with rape.”

“But he didn't rape her—it was consensual,” I said, a little too defensive of him. I checked myself and rephrased it. “She didn't tell them that she wanted it, too.”

“It didn't matter. She is an inmate and he was supposed to protect her. As far as the state is concerned, he didn't protect her. He had a position of power over her and he violated it.”

“Where is she now?” I asked, alarmed.

“They let her go—she will be on house arrest until her court date.

As Angie finished telling me what was going on with Hicks, Riddick came up behind me and said, “Wilson wants to see you.”

“I wonder what he wants,” I said, like I had no idea. I was busted—I might be going to jail. I didn't know if I should run out of there or what. I was scared to enter his office—instead, I went into the restroom. Again I contemplated my next move. I didn't know what he wanted, so I didn't run.

“Yes, what's wrong?” I asked, walking into Wilson's office.

He turned around in his swivel chair and said, “Robinson, come in and close the door. I'm giving you a heads-up. You know everything that's going on. I don't want to see you go down with Hicks. I know you have something to do with everything. Internal affairs are investigating you and a few others.”

“I didn't do anything.”

“Listen, I know it is you. You have to quit before the investigation goes any further. If you don't quit, the state might bring charges against you. Here—I already typed a resignation letter up for you,” he said as he grabbed the paper off his printer. “Sign here.”

I read the letter. It said
I, Shonda Robinson, am resigning of my own free will.
I signed the letter, then Wilson asked for my badge and told me to clean out my locker.

My life was ruined. No husband, no job, and Ocho was in jail for who knows how long.