Experiencing God at Home (3 page)

Noah

By God’s own reckoning, Noah was the godliest man on the planet. Scripture declares: “Noah was a just man, perfect in his generations. Noah walked with God” (Gen. 6:9). When God determined to obliterate humanity from the face of the earth because of its grotesque sin, He went to great lengths to spare Noah and his family. Yet once the flood had subsided and Noah and his sons had become farmers, a family scandal occurred. Noah’s son Ham humiliated his father in front of his brothers (Gen. 9:20–23). For the remainder of Ham’s life, he lived under the curse of his father (Gen. 9:24–27). How could a man as righteous as Noah raise a son as disrespectful as Ham?

Abraham

By the time we come to Abraham, we feel we are in safer parental territory. After all, he is the founder of a line of patriarchs! From his descendants will ultimately emerge the nation of Israel and the Messiah. God made a covenant with Abraham that from his family all the families of the earth would be blessed (Gen. 12:1–3). Abraham raised Isaac, who would ultimately become a patriarch himself.

Yet even though he is upheld as a man of faith, not all of Abraham’s parenting decisions should be used as a model of wisdom. God instructed him to leave his family in Haran and to go to a new land (Gen. 12:1). Yet Abraham inexplicably brought his nephew Lot with him (Gen. 12:4). This decision would lead to much grief and heartache in the ensuing years (Gen. 13:5–13; 14:12–17; 19). Then there was the time Abraham’s faith wavered, and he took matters of becoming a father into his own hands. He had a son, Ishmael, through a woman who was not his wife. This son would become the father of the Arab peoples and engender much conflict with the Israelites for generations afterward (Gen. 17:18–25). Abraham would also lie about his wife, Sarah, claiming she was his sister (Gen. 12:10–20). As if that weren’t enough, Abraham succumbed to dishonesty a second time, later in his life (Gen. 20:1–18). This character flaw of dishonesty would be passed down to his son and grandson. Certainly Abraham was a man of faith and a friend of God, but he was not a perfect father.

Isaac

Few babies have been more eagerly anticipated than was Isaac! His father waited twenty-five years for him! Isaac was a devout man of God who had two sons: Esau and Jacob. Isaac followed in his father’s character flaws and claimed that his wife, Rebekah was his sister, just as his father had done twice before (Gen. 26:1–11). His younger son, Jacob, conspired with Isaac’s wife, Rebekah, to deceive Isaac and to cheat Esau (Gen. 27:1–29). This understandably led to a bitter division between Isaac’s two sons that forced Jacob to live abroad for many years afterward. The patriarch Isaac’s home was torn asunder by deception and hatred.

Jacob

Jacob was a deceiver, but he came by it honestly. Following after his father and grandfather’s propensity to deceive, Jacob would also resort to deceit when looking out for his own interests. It’s not surprising that Jacob’s ten older sons lied to him about the fate of his son Joseph when they sold Joseph into slavery (Gen. 37:31–36). Predictably, perhaps, when the tables were turned, Joseph later deceived his brothers as well (Gen. 42:6–24). Truly the sins of the fathers are passed down through the generations (Deut. 5:9).

What is significant is that though Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph were God’s chosen patriarchs for His people, each of their homes suffered conflict. The descendants of Abraham’s sons Ishmael and Isaac would wage continual warfare against each other. Isaac’s sons Esau and Jacob would experience enmity, as would their descendants. Jacob committed one of the worst parenting mistakes by showing blatant favoritism to his son Joseph. This, along with Joseph’s exalted view of himself, infuriated his older brothers and drove them to discard their annoying little brother (Gen. 37:3–11). Even Joseph’s sons would experience a dispute (Gen. 48:17–20). These were the founders of God’s people; yet their homes were often anything but tranquil and godly!

Eli

By the time we leave the Pentateuch and arrive in the book of 1 Samuel, one might think we had entered a more enlightened era of parenthood. But things only grow worse! The old prophet Eli is the high priest as we enter the book of 1 Samuel. Hannah delivered her much-prayed-for son, Samuel, to him to be cared for (1 Sam. 1:24–28). Eli must have done a stellar job with Samuel, for the boy grew up to become a mighty man of God. But Eli didn’t do so well with his
own
two boys. Scripture declares that his sons Hophni and Phinehas were corrupt and “they did not know the L
ord
” (1 Sam. 2:12). The beleaguered Eli heard of his children’s immoral behavior as well as their greed and profanity. He attempted to stop them; yet they ignored the pleading of their elderly father (1 Sam. 2:22–25). As a result, God took their lives in judgment. It seems inconceivable that the top priest in the land could produce such wicked offspring.

Samuel

If any parent should have been alert to the danger of poor parenting, it ought to have been Samuel. After all, he had witnessed firsthand the pain that two wayward sons caused his mentor Eli to suffer. You would assume Samuel would have fervently sought to raise his offspring to walk closely with the Lord. Inexplicably, Samuel neglected his children, and as a consequence his sons Joel and Abijah made Eli’s sons look like choirboys! They took bribes and so perverted justice that the Israelites demanded that Samuel appoint them a king, fearing his two corrupt sons would take over after he was gone (1 Sam. 8:1–8). Samuel proved blameless in his personal conduct as Israel’s leader, but he failed miserably to raise his children to follow and honor his God.

David

David was a man’s man. He single-handedly fought lions, bears, and giants. He led a band of battle-hardened warriors through perilous times until he ultimately ascended the throne of Israel. He defeated his nation’s enemies. He organized his people’s worship. He gathered the resources to build a dazzling temple for his God. But he repeatedly failed as a father.

His son Amnon raped his daughter Tamar, yet David did nothing about it (2 Sam. 13:1–22). In revenge, Tamar’s brother Absalom murdered his half brother Amnon (2 Sam. 13:28–29), but again David did nothing (2 Sam. 13:37-39). When Absalom returned to live in Jerusalem, he spent two full years in the city without his father coming to see him (2 Sam. 14:28). Later Absalom initiated a revolt against his father, David, that threw the entire nation into civil war and ultimately led to Absalom’s death (2 Sam. 16–18). At the close of David’s life, his son Adonijah, Absalom’s brother, promoted himself to be the next king even though that position had been promised to Solomon. Yet despite this flagrant self-promotion, David did nothing to rebuke his ambitious child (1 Kings 1:6). Only when a coup was imminent did David arise and thwart the schemes of his son. Even then, there is no record that he spoke to Adonijah or sought to guide him into making wise choices with his life. David enjoyed far more successes on the battlefield than he did on the domestic front.

Kings Jehoshaphat, Hezekiah, and Josiah

A puzzling feature of so many of the godly leaders of the Bible is how they could be so righteous and yet could raise such ungodly offspring.
Jehoshaphat,
for example, was one of the godliest kings to rule Judah. His father, Asa, had been a righteous king (1 Kings 15:11). Throughout his reign, King Jehoshaphat sought to honor God and to be at peace with the kingdom of Israel, ruled by the wicked King Ahab (1 Kings 22:44). However, in his desire to make peace with his northern brothers, Jehoshaphat allowed his son Jehoram to marry the daughter of Ahab and Jezebel. In his misguided effort at alliance building, Jehoshaphat sowed the seeds of his son’s apostasy. For rather than following the godly example of his father, King Jehoram modeled his reign after his wicked father-in-law, Ahab (2 Kings 8:18).

King Hezekiah
was one of the godliest kings to rule Judah. His father, Ahaz, had been unfaithful to God (2 Kings 16:2) and had introduced pagan worship into Judah. Yet, Hezekiah forsook his father’s wicked example and served God wholeheartedly. Scripture says of him: “He trusted in the L
ord
God of Israel, so that after him was none like him among all the kings of Judah, nor who were before him” (2 Kings 18:5). Yet Hezekiah’s son Manasseh became arguably the wickedest king ever to rule Judah (2 Kings 21:1-18). What a contrast! Judah’s godliest king produced its wickedest.

Finally we see
King Josiah
. His father, Amon, was wicked, and his grandfather, Manasseh, was even worse. Yet as a boy, Josiah had a heart for God. He attempted to purge the land of the abominations his father and grandfather had introduced. Yet at his death, his two sons, Jehoahaz and Eliakim, both did evil in the sight of the Lord (2 Kings 23:32–37). Among the kings of Judah, it seems to be the exception that a godly king produced a godly successor.

Where Are the Godly Successors?

Scripture is filled with admonitions to teach our children to follow the Lord. As the Israelites were preparing to enter the Promised Land, God instructed the parents: “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deut. 6:6–9).

God clearly intended for parents to talk about Him with their children
all the time!
Likewise, on the day the Israelite army crossed the Jordan River and commenced their invasion of Canaan, God made them stop and build a monument at the edge of the river so that in years to come, when their children and grandchildren asked what the structure was about, they could rehearse the miracle God performed on their behalf that day (Josh. 4:8–24). God was concerned that His activity in one generation not be lost on the next.

With God being so concerned about children growing up to embrace the faith of their parents, it is surprising how many did not. Or at least it seems unusual that children of spiritual giants did not follow in their parents’ footsteps. It might be that the Bible is merely silent about people’s children. For instance, Moses had a son Gershom (Exod. 2:22). When Moses returned to Egypt, he took his family with him (Exod. 4:20). Yet Moses trained Joshua to take his place, while Gershom disappears from the biblical record. Perhaps Gershom died of a childhood disease, or maybe he was not gifted to lead as Joshua was. The Bible doesn’t tell us. What we do know is that when Moses needed to mentor an understudy to take his place, he didn’t turn to his own children.

Likewise, Joshua famously declared: “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the L
ord
” (Josh. 24:15). Truly noble intentions by one of the great heroes of the Old Testament! After such a bold declaration by that generation’s most famous father, you couldn’t help but be curious about how his children turned out, could you? Yet we never hear about them. All we are told about their generation is this: “When all that [meaning Joshua’s] generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not know the L
ord
nor the work which He had done for Israel” (Judg. 2:10). Of course, this doesn’t mean Joshua’s children left the faith of their father. Maybe they were all prematurely killed off in a freak plague. Or perhaps they tried to dissuade the apostasy of their contemporaries but to no avail. What we do know is that when their generation turned from God, Joshua’s offspring did not lead their generation to follow God as their father had done.

Gideon provides yet another example. He led his fellow Israelites to cast off the oppression of the Midianites and to drive them unceremoniously from their land (Judg. 6–7). For the remainder of his life, Gideon served as a judge over the people. However, Scripture testifies: “So it was, as soon as Gideon was dead, that the children of Israel again played the harlot with the Baals, and made Baal-Berith their god” (Judg. 8:33). Not only that, but Gideon’s son Abimelech slaughtered sixty-nine of his half brothers in order to seize power for himself (Judg. 9:1–6). Tragically, after God did a great work through Gideon’s generation, the next generation completely rejected the God of their fathers.

At times, parenting in the Bible can be utterly confusing. For example, King David loved God and enjoyed worshipping Him. Yet two of his children conspired against him. King Saul, on the other hand, was paranoid, disobedient to God’s commands, and at times suffered spells of madness. Yet his sons, including the noble Jonathan, died fighting at his side against the Philistines on Mount Gilboa (1 Sam. 31:2). It is difficult to comprehend how an imbalanced, insecure father like Saul could raise Jonathan for a son, while David, considered one of Israel’s greatest leaders, could rear Amnon, Absalom, and Adonijah. But such are the peculiarities of parenting!

Our curiosity causes us to wonder what the great prophet Elisha’s children were like. Their father was one of the preeminent prophets of the Old Testament. But did he pass his mantle on to them as Elijah passed his on to Elisha? What were Daniel and Nehemiah’s children like? Did they follow God as fervently as their fathers? Wouldn’t it be great to know what the children of the twelve disciples did in their walk with God? (Yes, we are curious about the traitor Judas’s children too!) Did they become leaders in the church? Perhaps they did. The Bible doesn’t say.

The Bible on Parenting

So what can we learn from this rather dismal survey of biblical parents?
Raising godly children isn’t easy!
Some of the greatest men and women in the Bible failed at it miserably. Does that mean it can’t be done? Of course not. But it does teach us that parents need to carefully follow the instruction and guidelines of Scripture if they are to have any hope of succeeding. Read the verses below and see some of the wisdom the Bible provides for those who want to raise godly children: