Experiencing God at Home (4 page)

• “I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live” (Deut. 30:19). Clearly God wants to bless both us and our descendants if only we will heed His commandments.
  
• “We will not hide them from our children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the L
  ord
  , and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done. . . . That they should make them known to their children; that the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children, that they may set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments” (Ps. 78:4–7). God intends for parents to testify to their children what God has done in their lives.
  
• “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands” (Prov. 14:1). There are certain behaviors that can build up a family, and there are other actions that tear it down. Parents must decide which ones they will adopt.
  
• “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6). This has been a much-debated verse over the years! But it is declaring that what we do with our children when they are young has a lasting impact. We can build values into our children that remain with them the remainder of their lives.
  
• “Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul” (Prov. 29:17).
  
• “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell” (Prov. 23:13–14).
  

The Bible never worries about being politically incorrect! It urges parents to discipline their children so they are guided away from evil behavior and steered toward godliness. Better to suffer unpleasant moments while redirecting your children’s improper behavior now than to suffer the heartache of having them reject your faith and values when they are adults.

Parenting Rewards

While parenting children can be hard work, the Bible does offer the following encouragement:

• “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother” (Prov. 10:1).
  
• “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him” (Prov. 23:24).
  
• “Children’s children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father” (Prov. 17:6).
  

Nevertheless, parents should also take heed:

• “He who begets a scoffer does so to his sorrow, and the father of a fool has no joy” (Prov. 17:21).
  

The Perfect Father

The challenge for many parents these days is that they did not grow up in a home with healthy, godly parents, so they never had a good role model. Now as parents themselves, they often find themselves unsure of what to do. They might have a sense of what
not
to do, but they may never have witnessed good parenting up close. The encouraging truth, however, is that everyone has access to the model of a perfect parent, regardless of what kind of home they came from.

The Bible tells numerous stories about individuals, but it is primarily an account about God and His interaction with people throughout the generations. During the course of the narrative, readers catch glimpses of an amazing relationship between God the Father and God the Son. Let’s take a moment to reflect on how the heavenly
Father
related to His Son.

As a twelve-year-old, Jesus already had a clear sense of what His Father stood for and what was dear to His heart. In a famous incident, Jesus’ parents lost track of their young Son and were unaware that He had not accompanied them on their trip from Jerusalem to Nazareth. When they asked Jesus why He had remained at the temple, He explained: “Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” (Luke 2:49).

When Jesus commenced His public ministry and was baptized, Scripture tells us that a voice came from heaven declaring, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Matt. 3:17). The heavenly Father affirmed His Son publicly. We can only imagine the pleasure that must have given the Son!

It is also clear throughout the Gospels that the Father continually shared with His Son what was on His heart. When Jesus was questioned about why He had chosen to heal a lame man on the Sabbath, He responded: “For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself does; and He will show Him greater works than these, that you may marvel” (John 5:20). The Father and Son regularly communed with each other. In fact, Jesus prayed that His disciples would “be one as We are” (John 17:11). After experiencing spectacular success, Jesus immediately took time to talk with His Father (Mark 1:35; 6:46). When facing difficult trials, Jesus spoke with His Father (Matt. 26:36–46). In fact, Jesus’ entire life was spent seeking to bring glory to His Father (John 17:1). And, when Jesus’ work on earth was done, the Father seated Him in a place of honor at His side (Acts 7:55).

Throughout this book we’ll examine how God instructs us to parent our children, but His own example of relating to His own Son provides the supreme model of what godly parenting looks like. And not only does God
show
us what to do; He also
enables
us to do the same in our own homes.

Water, Wind, and Fire (A Story from Tom)

Our family lived on the west coast of Norway in the city of Stavanger for seven years. Being the same latitude as Anchorage, Alaska, summer days were long as the sun shone late into the evening. However, in winter the days consisted of only a few hours of daylight. There were times when the darkness became oppressive and depressing. One spring day, after an excessively long winter, we were at church. Suddenly a beam of sunlight burst through the stained-glass window, surprising and delighting the congregation. We resolved to hold a picnic at a lake to celebrate the return of the sun. After church, we rushed home to change into our picnic clothes, grabbed some hot dogs and snacks, threw in the quick grill (aluminum one-use grill), and headed to the lake to meet our friends.

Walking from the parking lot to the lake, I noticed a few trees with long wooden boxes attached to them. These contained what looked like extra-long metal brooms with long flat pieces of metal fanning out on the end. My Norwegian friend informed me that these were “fire whappers” (or whatever the Norwegian word for it was!). We had a great day at the lake, and just as we were waiting for our coals to burn out to discard the grills, we noticed the water rippling and bubbling in the middle of the lake. I was curious about what was causing this phenomenon. Even more disconcerting was that the dancing water was moving in our direction. I asked my Norwegian friend if we should be worried. He assured me everything was fine.

I hadn’t noticed that high above the rippling water there were leaves swirling around in the sky. I grew nervous when I realized there was a wind funnel bearing down on us. Before I could warn my family, the wind funnel hit shore, picking up all the loose debris, twigs, leaves, and our barbecue grills. It savagely flung them into the air, spewing hot coals all around us. The coals landed in the tall grass, and the wind instantly whipped up a grass fire. I had a split second decision to make: stay near the water until the fire burned itself away or run to safety as quickly as possible. As I was about to gather my family and scamper up the pathway to safety, I spotted an elderly Norwegian woman. She had taken her beach blanket, dipped it in the lake water, and was beating the fire. Ashamed to be running away while leaving a lone octogenarian to fight the raging blaze, I soaked my beach blanket in the lake and, together with my oldest son, began beating and stomping the fire alongside her. My wife corralled the other two, or so she thought, to a safe distance away. In the commotion, the youngest child, Conor, got loose. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted my stroller-sized child dragging a broken tree branch near the fire. He had seen other adults using tree branches as fire whappers, and he wanted to help. Once his mother caught sight of him, she dragged him kicking and screaming back to the water. I was proud to be working alongside my sons to save the forest and the cabins from being consumed. But with the wind still churning the fire, we were fighting a losing battle.

Then an amazing thing happened. To my left and right, Norwegians began popping up out of nowhere. They came running from neighboring campsites, many of them with fire whappers in hand. We surrounded the fire, and after forty minutes working furiously alongside each other, we beat the fire out, saving the forest and several nearby homes. As the last few embers were stamped to ash, the local fire truck slowly made its way up the road. Then, just as quickly as they had appeared, with barely a nod for a job well done, the soot-faced Norwegians departed. We were exhausted, and our adrenalin was in overdrive, but we were safe.

The story of the grass fire became lore in our family. It reminded us of how quickly a crisis can descend on an unsuspecting family. It also demonstrated how important it is for parents and children to work together when problems come. Finally, it demonstrated that when you need help, God is able to provide everything you need, even if from unusual places!

Conclusion

We’re not sure what your family is currently facing. Perhaps you are experiencing a period of tranquillity and laughter in your home. Or maybe you are trying to put out a raging fire. Whatever you are going through, we believe God’s Word can greatly help you. Throughout this book, we’ll be looking at what Scripture says about guiding and building families. But from this quick overview, we can identify several truths.

• First, parenting isn’t easy! Even if you love God with all of your heart, you will need to depend on God’s wisdom, strength, and guidance if you are to succeed.
  
• Second, the Bible has much advice to offer to those who want to raise godly children. We are wise to heed its instruction!
  
• Finally, while we may not have grown up in a home where we saw godly parenting being modelled, we have a heavenly Father who is prepared to help us each step of the way in raising our children.
  

Questions for Reflection/Discussion

1. On a scale of 1 to 10, rate your current satisfaction with where your family is with God and with each other. If you are reading this book, it may indicate that you know your family could be doing better than it is. Take a moment to pray that as you read, God will open your understanding to the fresh work He wants to do in your home.

2. On a scale of 1 to 10, rate how you are presently doing as a parent. Now, what score do you think your children would give you? At what score do you think God might rate you? How does this make you feel?

3. What has been your greatest challenge as a parent? What are you doing to meet this challenge?

4. Which parent in the Bible do you admire most? Which one do you identify with most?

5. What might be two goals you have for your family as a result of reading this book? We pray that reading this book helps you to achieve them!

Notes

1. Blackaby Ministries International, www.blackaby.org.

2. Sam S. Rainer, “Going, Going, But Not Forever Gone?” in
HomeLife
(February 2009), 62.

Chapter 3

Our Home

The Trek North—Moving to Saskatoon

In April 1970, our family loaded up our Volkswagen van and headed north from Southern California to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Saskatoon is an agrarian city sitting in the middle of the vast prairies of western Canada. When we finally arrived on that historic spring day, we drove up to Faith Baptist Church and beheld for the first time the object of our quest—a neglected, white stucco, boxlike building. The entry door overhang drooped so much you couldn’t open the front doors completely. There was a hideous, zigzagging crack running down the right side of the building. But what was more disturbing was the “For Sale” sign we discovered that had been sitting prominently on the front lawn. That sign summed up the hopeless despair into which the few remaining church members had slumped prior to our parents’ acceptance of their invitation. Our young family was their last hope for survival, as they had voted to disband as a congregation had we declined to come. We had no idea what we were about to experience in that little church. What happened over the next twelve years would be the foundation for a book that would significantly alter the lives of millions of people around the world.

Many people have mentioned to us how intrigued they are by our family. Our father is now an internationally respected Christian leader and author. All five of his children entered full-time Christian ministry. He is currently praying that all fourteen of his grandchildren would serve God with all of their hearts. Our family is somewhat unusual (in more ways than one!). At times people who did not grow up in Christian or healthy homes may assume families like ours must have been a domestic utopia where perfect parents used a magical formula that always resulted in God’s blessing. We want to debunk that delusion! We also feel it is important to be transparent with you regarding our personal backgrounds. The family in which we grew up was far from perfect. Yet, it exerted a profound impact on us that continues to this day.