Authors: Michelle Betham
‘You heard the lady.’ Max threw Ryan a look that told him to get out of there. ‘People are waiting for you. Go on. I’ll be there in a minute.’
Reluctantly, Ryan walked away, heading off to the Press Lounge. Within the next hour, a guaranteed media frenzy would once more surround him, and he wasn’t altogether sure he was ready for it now.
‘Something you’ve forgotten to tell me, Ryan?’
Ryan looked up as Ellen materialised beside him, looking more than a touch sexy in a tight black pencil skirt and white blouse, her long blonde hair piled up on top of her head. Her expression, however, was anything but that of a woman who was pleased to see her boyfriend. Then it hit him – like a massive kick in the stomach. He hadn’t had a chance to tell her, had he? About his move to Tenerife. He hadn’t told her. He’d meant to – he’d had every intention of going home last night, so he’d be there, waiting to see her when she came home in the morning. He’d been going to tell her then, and yes, okay, he’d done a great job of making sure he’d left it all to the last possible minute, which had been a massively stupid risk in the first place, but he
had
been going to tell her. Before the press conference. But then last night had happened. Amber had happened. And all thoughts of Ellen had gone straight out of the window, when she really should have been the first thing on his mind.
‘Ellen, please…’
‘Forget it, Ryan. I think it’s quite obvious where I stand in your life now.’
‘Ellen, wait! Come on…’ He followed her out of the Press Lounge, across the corridor to the empty Players’ Lounge, shutting the door behind them. ‘Ellen, babe…’
‘Don’t
“Ellen, babe”
me, Ryan. How dare you! How dare you ask people to keep this from me, how dare you make people lie for you…’
‘I wasn’t… That wasn’t what I was doing, Ellen. I swear. It’s just that… this has all been so up in the fucking air for so long, and I never knew one way or the other what was going to happen, whether the club was going to loan me out or not, and I… I just didn’t see the need to tell you anything until I knew for sure.’
‘And how long
have
you known?’
He looked down at the ground, keeping his hands firmly in his pockets. ‘A couple of days.’
‘A couple of days,’ she repeated, turning away from him. ‘You’ve known a couple of days…’ She swung back round to face him, her expression now a mixture of anger and hurt. ‘I thought we were a couple, Ryan. I actually thought that, I believed that. I was stupid enough to believe that you cared about me, that we could talk to each other, but it seems I’m so wrong on that score. So, so wrong.’
‘Please, Ellen… I really didn’t want it to be like this…’
‘What
did
you want it to be like, Ryan? Huh? Because… because I just don’t get it. I don’t understand why you’d keep something like this from me, I really don’t… I mean, I don’t even understand why you’d
want
to be loaned out when things are going so well here…’ She stopped talking and looked at him, the penny slowly dropping. ‘Oh no. No. Please tell me I’m wrong… I’m wrong, Ryan, aren’t I? Please tell me you’re not leaving because of… because of her. Because of Amber?’
He looked down at the floor again, his hands in his pockets.
‘Ryan? Please?’
What could he say? Another lie? On top of the pile he’d already told her? She wasn’t that stupid.
‘You… you’re putting your whole career in jeopardy because you’re still in love with
her
? Jesus… I don’t believe this.’ She backed away, sitting down on the arm of a nearby sofa, throwing down the clipboard she’d been holding. ‘What was I, Ryan? Huh?’
Her eyes met his, and he couldn’t help but flinch at the pain in there, the hurt he’d caused to someone who really didn’t deserve it. But that’s what he seemed to be an expert at these days – hurting people who didn’t deserve it; messing up his life because he couldn’t handle something like the adult he was supposed to be.
‘Was I just some replacement, some stand-in you could use while you tried to forget her? Is that what I was?’
‘No, Ellen…’
‘And then, when you realised you couldn’t forget her… Did I mean so little to you, Ryan, that you could treat me like this? That you could keep something so important from me? We were living together, for Christ’s sake. We were a couple, and yet you treat me like some outsider who didn’t deserve to know the truth.’
‘I never meant for that to happen, Ellen. I promise you. I was going to tell you, I was…’
‘When, Ryan? When? There, in the doorway of the Press Lounge? Hmm? Just minutes before the rest of the world finds out?’
‘I thought you had a day off today…’
‘Oh, so what does that mean, then? You were just going to let me find out along with everyone else? While I was eating my cornflakes watching Cloud Sports News? Is that how you wanted it to play out?’
‘No. You’re blowing this all out of proportion…’
She couldn’t help laughing, standing up and pacing the floor, crossing her arms against her chest. ‘Sorry. I’m blowing this all out of proportion, am I?’ She stopped pacing and turned to face him. ‘I came home last night, Ryan. I know I told you I was staying out, sleeping over at Dina’s, but I didn’t. I thought I’d come home and surprise you because I miss you. Do you know that? When you’re not around I miss you. But I came home to an empty house, which was fine, for a while, because I knew you were at Gary’s and I know how late his parties can run. But once it got to 4.30 this morning even
I
had to admit that would have been one hell of a late party, even for him. Especially considering his wife is pregnant.’
‘So I stayed over. What’s so strange about that?’
‘Were you on your own?’
‘No. Gary and Debbie were there.’
‘Were you alone?’
‘Jesus, Ellen, what the fuck
is
this? What gives you the right to fucking interrogate me like some deranged frigging detective? Get off my fucking back!’
‘Guilt. I can see it, right there, all over your cheating, lying face, Ryan. I can see it.’
Ryan stayed silent. She’d caught him off guard and she knew it.
‘That pause says it all,’ she whispered, shaking her head. ‘You were with
her
, weren’t you?’
‘Ellen…’
‘No! No more lies, Ryan. No more. Look, it’s fine, okay? It’s fine. If this is how you want it to end then that’s fine. You obviously never wanted me…’
‘That isn’t true. You have to believe me, Ellen, that isn’t true. In the beginning… in the beginning I really thought we could make a go of things. I did. I really did…’
‘Really?’ Her tone carried more than a touch of sarcasm. ‘Forgive me if I struggle to believe that.’
He leaned back against the wall, staring down at the floor again, letting the silence take over for a few seconds, before he finally broke it. ‘I’m sorry, Ellen. I really am sorry.’
‘Just tell me one thing, Ryan.’
He looked up, their eyes locking.
‘Was there ever – even just one, fleeting second – when you considered asking me to come with you? To Tenerife?’
Another pause.
‘I think we’ve said everything we need to say,’ she said quietly, picking up her clipboard and walking towards the door. ‘You know…’ she turned around, once again looking him straight in the eye, ‘… you really are throwing it all away over someone you can’t have. And yet, you could have had me. And I could have given you so much more than she ever could.’
He watched her walk out the door, and for the first time in weeks he wondered if she might just be right.
‘Everything okay between you and the boy wonder?’ Max asked, keeping his eyes fixed on a quite nervous-looking Amber.
‘Any reason why it shouldn’t be?’ Amber lifted her head to look at him.
Max shrugged. ‘Don’t know. You tell me. It looked like there was something going on between the pair of you just then, that’s all.’
‘We were talking… Look, it’s a bit of a strange day, Max, so forgive me if I’m not firing on all cylinders.’
‘Well, you’d better start, kiddo. You’re at work now. Nobody cares that you’ve split from your husband, or that you’ll soon be saying goodbye to your ex-boyfriend as he boards a plane for the Canary Islands.’
Amber narrowed her eyes as she looked at her agent. ‘I’m not sure I like what you’re insinuating there, Max.’
He looked at her, raising surprised eyebrows. ‘I’m not insinuating anything, Amber. I’ll see you in there, all right? Don’t be long.’
Amber leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, sliding her hands round the back of her neck, groaning quietly at the tenseness she could already feel beneath her fingers.
‘Where’ve
you
been?’
She opened her eyes and looked at Ronnie.
‘You know where I’ve been. I’ve been talking to Jim.’ She rubbed the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger.
‘That was ages ago. Come on, let’s get in there.’
She sighed heavily, following him the short distance to the Press Lounge, where things looked as though they were ready to get started any second now. The room was a hive of activity, people huddled together in several small groups, all of them speculating as to what this press conference was going to involve, but seeing as Ryan had now been spotted, rumours were rife and the Chinese whispers had already started. At least they wouldn’t have long to wait before they found out who’d guessed right.
‘What was
that
for?’ Ronnie asked, watching as Ellen pushed her way through the crowd of journalists and cameramen towards the back of the room, but not without first throwing Amber a look that could have curdled milk.
‘Beats me,’ Amber mumbled. ‘Is this thing getting started soon or what?’
Ronnie looked around the room, mouthing something at the Cloud Sports cameraman who was over by the long desk behind which Jim, Ryan and a handful of club officials would be sitting in just a few minutes’ time.
‘Looks like they want us all to take our seats now,’ Ronnie said. ‘Come on. I want to be front row for this.’
Amber wasn’t so sure. But she was at work now, so any personal feelings she still had kicking about had to be shoved quite firmly to the back of her mind, for the time being. She had to be professional about this.
‘You all right?’ Ronnie asked, giving her hand a quick squeeze as they both sat down.
Amber smiled at him, not entirely sure the smile had reached her eyes. ‘I’m fine. Just shouldn’t have stayed out as late as I did last night.’
‘What did Jim want? Just now, I mean.’
Amber shuffled about in her seat, looking over towards the back of the room where a small crowd of people had gathered, waiting for Jim to finally take his seat and let everyone know if their hurriedly guessed rumours were, indeed, true.
‘Nothing, really.’
‘Nothing?’ Ronnie asked, raising a questioning eyebrow.
‘Not now, Ronnie, okay?’ Amber hissed, turning her attention towards the long, slightly elevated table at the back of the room as the flash of camera bulbs and the shouting out of questions signalled the arrival of Jim, Ryan, and two club officials.
She watched as Jim sat down beside his star striker, watched as Ryan clasped his hands together in front of him, staring down at them rather than up at the crowd of waiting journalists and reporters. She watched as Jim also clasped his hands in front of him, but he was quite happy to meet the eyes of the waiting media. In fact, it was him who silenced them all without having to say a word, so strong was his presence. She watched and listened to her estranged husband as he explained just why everyone had been called to Tynebridge that morning, looking down at her redundant notepad as the room erupted into a cacophony of mutters and gasps. She listened as some fabricated story about giving Ryan the chance to play over in La Liga was cited as a reason for this surprise loan to CD Adeje when, in reality, it all sounded so lame to Amber. Because she knew the truth. Yet, when Jim spoke, even
she
felt as though everything he said made perfect sense, he was that good at spinning things, no matter how complicated or outlandish the subject. And if he could make even
her
believe that what he was saying was true, then surely everyone else would be well and truly sucked in.
She looked up, glancing briefly over at Ryan who was now giving his undivided attention to the rest of the room as Jim finished speaking and called for questions from the media. Of which there were plenty of takers, but she let Ronnie do the talking for Cloud Sports. She didn’t think she’d be that great an actress, especially as she knew the
real
reason behind Ryan leaving Red Star, even if it was just a temporary thing.
Jim’s eyes met hers for a second, and she felt her heart skip that familiar beat as he smiled at her, just a small smile. A very brief smile. A smile she couldn’t return because her stomach was too tied up in knots for her to concentrate fully on what was going on. But she had to get her head together, she had to start thinking straight, because when she interviewed Ryan later, in front of the camera, she was going to have to look as surprised as everyone else about this shock decision of his. But even she was fast beginning to wonder whether everyone would stay as convinced as they seemed to be now about his reasons for going. Or maybe she was just being paranoid.
‘Well,’ Ronnie sighed, sitting back down after making sure Cloud Sports had had their say on the matter, ‘… it’s all official now. Looks like Ryan Fisher’s leaving Newcastle Red Star.’
Amber looked over at the table again, watching as Ryan tried to answer as best he could all the questions being thrown at him, most of which were being fielded towards Jim to answer on his behalf. ‘Yeah. It looks like he is.’
The crowd outside the main entrance to Tynebridge was growing by the second as news of Ryan’s shock loan filtered through to the fans. No one had expected it, and none of the fans who’d already gathered at the bottom of the steps leading up to the glass-fronted entrance seemed to be turning cartwheels at the prospect of losing their best striker in years to a foreign club, even if it was just for a few months.