Faithless (14 page)

"So what was it about Tristan that made you
feel as though you could trust him?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Honestly, I don't
know. He made me feel safe. He never judged me for my past, even though he
doesn't even know the half of it, but there was never any judgment."

"I see. So then I guess we come to present
day. What emotions ran through you when you read your mother's letter?"

"Fear, pain, agony, hate, disgust and
love."

"Love, really?"

"Yes. Knowing that it wasn't her who never wanted
me, made me feel loved. For the first time since I had remembered my mother, I
loved her in return. Though I was pissed because she hadn't sought me out
sooner, I still loved her knowing that she had thought of me everyday."

"That's very big of you. Most people wouldn't
be able to forgive so quickly."

"Wait, I never said I forgave her."

"But loving someone you barely knew, is
forgiveness in a sense. Now why can't you forgive Tristan?"

"I don't know Mr. Rollins. I don't think I'm
ready to. He hurt someone that I care about for no reason, other than he felt
threatened. What's to say he wouldn't do the same thing to me?"

"Do you really think he would hurt you
physically?"

"No, but the look he had in his eyes was one I
don't ever want to see again."

"Because of Gavin?"

I shuttered at hearing his name spoken aloud.
"I suppose so."

"Okay, so moving on. How was it sleeping at
your mother's old house?"

"It was, weird. I'm not used to living the way
that she apparently lived. Everything is so big and nice, and I'm a simple
girl. I don't need much, but it's almost as if she planned out the rest of my
life for me."

"How so?"

"She left me a brand new car for Christ’s
sake. Not only that, she left me money and a lot of it. I don't want her money
or her possessions. I just want-"

Mr. Rollins leaned forward on his knees and put his
paper down. "What
do
you want,
Riley?"

If that wasn't the question of the century. "I
just want to be happy and to know what it feels like to be loved
unconditionally."

Mr. Rollins sat back, pondering that. I couldn't
tell what he was thinking like usual. He seemed deep in thought and it scared
me just a bit. "Riley, do you think you're ready for all of that?"

"Of course I am. Why would you ask that?"

"Because you have a man who, from what I can
tell, loves you more than he loves himself. Which in itself isn't healthy for
him, but I'm not his doctor, so that's not really relevant. That man has
defended your honor and has tried to show you the love that you so desperately
crave, but you push him away every chance you get. So, I'll ask you again. Do
you think you're ready for love or to be happy?"

A stray tear slid down my cheek and I didn't wipe
it away. I needed to cry. I needed to feel the emotions that I kept bottled up.
After the first tear fell, at least a thousand followed. Mr. Rollins handed me
a Kleenex and sat back in his chair with his pad and paper in hand.
"Riley, in my professional opinion, I would say that you think you're
ready, but you're not open to it quite yet. Just think about that. Well, I
think that's time for today. Have you scheduled your appointment for next week
yet?"

I shook my head.

"Good, let's have you come back tomorrow
afternoon. I think we're finally getting somewhere and I'm afraid if we wait
too long, you'll start to shut down again. Make an appointment for tomorrow and
we will pick up where we left off. Sound good?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "Oh, Mr.
Rollins?"

"Yes?"

"How's London doing?" I hated myself for
asking. I knew he wasn't supposed to discuss other patients with me, but
technically he wasn't his patient.

"He is actually being released in about an
hour. I actually need to head to the hospital to arrange for in home care for
him."

I stood and fixed my pants and sweater. I gave Mr.
Rollins a nod and made my way over to the door, but stopped just as I was
reaching for the doorknob. "Would it be possible for me to take care of
him?" My question surprised Mr. Rollins, but I could tell he was
contemplating it.

"Maybe we should ask London what he wants to
do. Would you like to follow me over there now?"

I nodded and we both exited the room together. He
advised his receptionist to clear the rest of his day that he would be back
tomorrow. We rode down the elevator in silence, but as we walked out to our
cars in the parking garage Mr. Rollins grabbed my shoulder.

"Why are you doing this, Riley?"

"Because everyone deserves to have
someone." I simply replied.

Once we arrived at the hospital, I began to regret
my decision. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to help take care of someone
else. Hell, I could barely take care of myself. I locked up the car and made my
way over to Mr. Rollins who was waiting for me by the elevator. I wasn't sure
what to say or what I was getting myself into, but London deserved to have
someone take care of him.

We reached the second floor and I followed Mr.
Rollins down the long white hallway until we reached a nurses station. "Is
London still in room 312?"

"Yes, go ahead and head back Dr.
Rollins."

"Thank you."

We walked down another long hallway, then took a
right and came face to face with London's room. "What if he doesn't want
to see me?" I whispered from Mr. Rollins’ side.

"Trust me, I think he will be over the moon
that you're here."

He patted my back and then guided me into the room.
The curtain was pulled back so I couldn't see London just yet, but an
overwhelming sadness swept over me as I remembered how he had gotten here in
the first place. Mr. Rollins pulled back the curtain and London stood by the
window, pulling on his shirt. My eyes were instantly drawn to his upper body.
His muscles were chiseled and clearly defined and my eyes refused to move. It
wasn't until London cleared his throat, that I was able to look at his face. He
was black and blue all over and you couldn't see his beautiful features. Both
eyes were puffy and his jaw had a red line going from the bottom of his ear to
the tip of his chin. Tristan had caused more damage than either of us had
realized.

I half ran over to London's side, wrapping my arms
around his waist. I gave him a tight squeeze and he winced in pain. "Oh my
god, I'm so sorry. I totally forgot about your ribs. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He answered through gritted
teeth, and then I remembered Mr. Rollins telling me about his jaw.

"It looks painful."

"It is."

"I'm so sorry, London. I wish I could take all
your pain away. It's not fair that I put you in this position." I hung my
head, ashamed of my actions.

London's finger slid beneath my chin, raising it
enough so that I was now looking right into his swollen eyes. "This wasn't
your fault. Stop blaming yourself."

I nodded, not because I agreed with him, but
because I didn't want to cause him any further pain by arguing with him.

"What are you doing here?" It was a
little hard to understand him because of his jaw, but I was sure trying my
damnedest.

"She wanted to take you home and see if you
would be open to letting her nurse you back to health. Obviously a home nurse
would still need to come by, but as your doctor, I'm okay with it as long as you
are?"

"Yeah, of course I am. I didn't think you'd
ever want to see me again." He muttered.

"Why wouldn't I? It's not like you provoked
him or anything." I slid my hand into one of his and gave it a tight
squeeze. "You almost ready to go?"

"Yes, please get me the hell out of here. I'm
going insane." We both shared a laugh at the irony of it all, and then we
were on our way. I was given a list of instructions of how to take care of him,
until the home nurse could make it out to check on him in a couple of days. I
grabbed all of his paperwork and tried to grab his bag, but he quickly stopped
me and threw it over his shoulder shaking his head at me.

"I'm just trying to help."

"I know." He took my hand again as we
walked towards the elevators and I was happy he did.

We said our goodbyes to Mr. Rollins and made our
way to my car. When he saw what we were getting in to, it sounded almost like
he started choking. "This yours?"

I nodded. "Well, it was my mother's, I think.
It's a long story."

"I've got nothing but time, sweetheart."

We both smiled at each other and climbed into the
car. When we reached the house, London had the same look on his face that he
had when he saw my car. "Mom's too?" He asked.

"Yeah. She left me everything in her
will."

"I see."

"Well I think you'll recuperate here nicely.
Just wait until you see the inside, oh and the back."

"It would've been fine even if it was a shack
somewhere, Riley. Thank you so much for this."

"You're welcome. Speaking of houses, where
do
you live?"

"I've been staying with a friend for the last
couple of months. I don't make much working with Mr. Rollins, so I make
do."

"Well that's nice of him to let you stay
there."

"Yeah, she's cool like that."

"Oh sorry, I just assumed."

"It's okay, most people do. Let's go in."

We came in through the garage and I led London into
the living room, where I told him to throw his bag anywhere he wanted. Then I
walked over to the wall of glass and pulled the curtains back, allowing the
sunshine to shine right through. I unlocked the doors and slid them back.
"Isn't it just breathtaking?"

He nodded in response as he made his way out back.
I stayed back a little bit in case he wanted some privacy as he took in the
view, but he was quickly turning and motioning for me to come stand next to
him.

"This place is amazing, Riley."

"I know, right?"

After we hung out outside for a little bit, London
said he was getting tired, so I showed him to the extra bedroom on the main
floor. I helped him take his stuff in there and get comfortable before I left
him to nap. I made my way up to the kitchen and started getting some stuff
together to make dinner. I didn't have a whole lot in the way of meals for more
than one person, so I settled on spaghetti.

I was going a little bit stir crazy, so I decided
to grab a book off of one of the many bookcases downstairs and made my way out
back. I grabbed one of the folded up lounge chairs and went down to the beach.
I placed my chair in just the right spot so the water would wash over my feet
but nothing else. It was so peaceful. I could've stayed in this exact spot for
forever. And that's pretty much what I did. I must've fallen asleep, because a
strong hand on my shoulder was waking me up. I jumped up out of my chair a
little surprised and scared, to say the least. When London's face came into
view in the light of the setting sun, I let out an audible sigh of relief.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya."

"It's okay. Guess I was more tired than I
thought." I laughed. "You ready to eat something? I was going to make
spaghetti." Just as the words came out of my mouth, I realized that he
wouldn't be able to eat much of anything for the next two weeks. "Oh god,
sorry. I totally spaced it. I can run out and grab some soup or
something?"

"It's okay. Do you have a blender?"

"Um, that I'll have to check on. I still don't
know where everything is around this place."

"Alright, well let's go explore that kitchen
then."

We started to walk up to the house when I realized
I had forgotten my chair and book. If I left it out over night, the tide would
sure take it out with it later. As I reached the chair and folded it back up, I
caught sight of a surfer not too far out, just bobbing up and down while he sat
on his board. I didn't have to look hard to know who it was. I could feel him around
even if he wasn't. I thought about giving a small wave, but the angry part of
me opted to just clean up and head inside. I didn't even look back as I headed
inside, and trust me, I desperately wanted to.

I wish I could say that I was surprised to see
London at her house, but really I wasn't. I knew London's type and I knew his
game. He was going to use her for everything he could and then leave her high
and dry. As much as I wasn't okay with that, there really was nothing I could
do. I stayed out in the water a little bit longer. When I realized that she
wasn't coming back out, that's when I decided to head home.

Grace was in the kitchen making us dinner when I
came strolling in looking like a drowned rat.

"Waves not so good today?"

"No, they were fine. London's at Riley's
house."

"What? Are you serious? When will that asshole
ever learn? I'm sorry, Tristan. Don't worry about that now. We have a plan
remember?"

"I know. It just sucks. That's supposed to be
me with her."

"I know, big brother. Soon you'll have her all
to yourself. I promise. Just trust me."

"I do. I'm going to jump in the shower real
quick. You got everything out here under control?"

"Yep, but hurry up. Dinner will be done in
about ten minutes."

I nodded and headed towards the bathroom. I took a
quick shower and got dressed to join my sister for dinner. She had made
lasagna, my favorite and if I had known any better I would've said it tasted
just like our mom's. For a brief second I missed the way our family used to be
and I suddenly had a yearning to speak with my mother. It had been far too long
and was way overdue, but if anything I just wanted to hear her voice. I grabbed
my phone off of the table and found my mother's name in my contacts list. Just
as I clicked on her number, Grace walked over to me and held her finger to her
mouth.

"Don't you dare tell her I'm here."

"Calm down, Gracie. I won't tell her. I
promise." Grace leaned down and kissed my forehead, then made her way out
back.

After a third ring, my mother's voice broke through
the line. "Tristan? Is it really you?"

Her voice was soft and comforting and the fear of
speaking with her started to dissipate. "Hi mom. Yes, it's me. How are
you?"

"I'm good, Tristan. Really good, now that
you're calling me again. How have
you
been?"

I could sense the worry in her tone. "I'm
really good, Mom. Things are looking up."

"Are you still with the force?" She was
starting to ask too many questions and I wasn't comfortable with it.

"Yes Mom. Anything new around your parts?"
My mother only lived about forty-five minutes away from me, but she was alone
and I worried about that.

"No, nothing new I suppose. I've just been
working really hard putting together a huge gala for abused children that's
coming up in a couple of weeks. It's been quite interesting getting to know so
many young people who were abused as a child. It's very eye opening. You know,
you should come. I would love to see you and catch up. I miss you terribly,
Tristan."

I should've seen that one coming. "I don't
think that would be the best idea, Mom. Besides, you won't have time to sit
around and catch up with me. It's a gala Mom, which you're putting on. So for
now, I think I'll just say no thank you."

"Okay Tristan, I understand. If you change
your mind though, please let me know."

"I will. Well, I just wanted to say hello and
let you know I'm still alive and well."

"That's not funny, Tristan. I'm glad you are
well though. Please keep in touch more often."

"I'll try Mom. I have to go now. I'll call
again soon."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

The line went dead and I sat back staring at the
screen on my phone. "Well at least that conversation went better than the
last one."

"I guess so. I swear she just brushes
everything under the rug still. She invited me to some big gala she is throwing
for abused children."

"I guessed as much. Oh my god,
Tristan."
 
Grace jumped up,
slapping my bicep.

"Ouch, Grace. What is your deal?"

"I'll bet you any money, Mr. Rollins will be
trying to convince Riley to go to that gala, and that's way better than the
plan we came up with. He strikes me as a pusher."

"A pusher?" I laughed.

"Yeah. You know, someone who pushes other
people to do shit. Whatever. You should tell Mom you'll go and then casually
bump into Riley there."

"Even if Mr. Rollins "pushes" her to
go, doesn't mean she'll actually show up."

"True, but maybe London will convince her to
go. Oh, sorry I said the "L" word."

"I guess it could work out. It is a better
plan than ours. I'll think about it."

Well don't think about it too long or you'll talk
yourself out of it."

"Okay Grace, I promise I'll make a decision in
the next day or so."

"Did she say when it was?"

"No, she just said in a couple of weeks."

"Okay perfect. That's plenty of time to get
her to go. I have a plan."

"Great, another plan! Now do you want to fill
me in on it?"

"Not really." She chimed as she patted me
on top of my head.

After my sister disappeared into the other room, I
decided to try and get some sleep before I put my
own
plan into action tomorrow morning. As much as I trusted my
sister, I needed to make sure I had a back up plan just in case hers didn't
work out.

~~~~

I woke the next morning feeling renewed and
refreshed. I quickly jumped into the shower and got ready for my first day back
at work. I wasn't exactly looking forward to being back around everybody after
what had happened, but I guess now was as good a time as any. My sister must've
still been sleeping because there was no coffee waiting in the pot. She was
notorious for waking up early and having a fresh pot waiting for me, but today
not so much. I finished my first cup in record time and got a second one to go.

Driving to the local police station was something I
never thought I would do again, but here I was, going back. I was just thankful
that the chief understood enough to hold my job for me as I readjusted to, well
life. I parked in my usual spot and took a deep breath before heading into the
station. I didn't get the sympathetic stares that I was expecting to get and
that calmed my nerves a bit.

"Well, well if it isn't Tristan Hayes in the
flesh."

"Good morning, sir. Thanks for having me
back."

"You're a good cop Tristan and I'm glad that
you have found this to be your home once again. So, we are going to put you
with Christiansen for a while and see how you guys do together. I know it's not
the same, but with everything that happened with Miller, I think this will be a
good fit."

Just the mention of my old partner had my stomach
in knots. We had been partners straight out of the academy and friends before
that. When he was involved in a car accident with his wife about a month before
I met Riley's mother, the doctors had said that his outlook looked great. Two
days later, Miller passed away. It hit me harder than it would have if I had
lost my own mother, that's how close we were. I managed to keep myself in
control of my emotions during the funeral and for at least a week after, but
the chief knew exactly what I was going through, so he forced me to take some
time. That's when I started working for Riley's mom. I wasn't a stay at home
and deal with your emotions type of guy, so I threw myself into my side work.

"Tristan, you okay?" I could hear the
concern in his voice.

"Yeah, sorry I was just thinking about
something. Go on, sir."

"We'll start you out easy. You guys can take
day patrol and then we will go from there. Any questions?"

"Nope. None that I can think of. Thanks for
this opportunity, sir." I stood and shook his hand before leaving his
office.

I walked over to the only open desk in the room and
ran into my new partner. "Hey there, I'm Tristan Hayes. Looks like you're
my new partner." I held out my hand for him to shake it.

"I know who you are. I'm Brandon Christiansen.
Nice to meet you man."

We shook hands and I sat at the desk that faced
his.

"I'm really sorry about your old partner, man.
If you ever need anything just let me know."

"Thanks man, I appreciate it."

"Well, whenever you're ready we can head
out."

"Let me just go change into my uniform and
then I'll be good to go."

"Sounds good. I'll meet ya down at the
cruiser."

I waited for Brandon to head out first so I could
do a little detective work before I went to change. I booted up my computer and
quickly typed in London's name. I wasn't sure of his date of birth or his parent's
names, so I ended up with limited results. I quickly printed the page out,
snatched it off of the printer and made my way down to the locker rooms. I
changed as fast as I could, stashed the printout in my jeans and headed out to
work.

The day was long and boring. Not a whole lot
happens in the middle of the day in Malibu that was one thing I was for sure
about. When we got back to the station at the end of the day, I was in a hurry
to get out of there. I needed to go home and check in on what was happening at
Riley's house down the street. I also needed to call some of my contacts to see
if they could dig up some more stuff on London.

I said my good-byes to all the guys and headed
home. I did a quick drive by to see if Riley was home, but her car must've been
parked in the garage or they weren't there. God, it made me sick to my stomach
to even think about them together. This was going to kill me if it got drug out
much longer.